Role models, what are they?

[Kathryn Martin]

What do you think is a great TS or TG role model?

[LeaP]

The one I don't see.

Alternatively, my mother.

[AllieSF]

My role models, no they are not role models at all they are people that are doing something that I respect. They are those that handle this side of themselves well, whether a CD or TS somewhere along that road to self discovery or transition. There are no ongoing dramatics, whining, complaining nor rants. They have a positive outlook, even knowing what they yet need to encounter and get through. They offer sound advice when they can, don't talk down to people and don't segregate the community because they see themselves a few steps of the invisible ladder above some of the others. They are respectful and just very nice people. There are a few on this site that are like that, but not as many as I would hope for.

[Confucius]

I have a lot of respect for different cross-dressers for different reasons. Some are respected because they look so feminine, and others because they are so bold and open about their cross-dressing. I respect some for making their wife and family a higher priority than their desire to cross-dress. I also respect some because they seem to have found a nice balance in their lives, and have made it all work.

One cross-dresser I respect is Grayson Perry. He is an accomplished artist who is married to an accomplished psychotherapist (Phillipa Perry). Grayson openly cross-dresses, has a happy marriage, and seems to have a good grasp of his own identity. Check out this interview, it is mostly about his art and accomplishments, but at minute 19:00 he discusses his cross-dressing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G-2rgFLYzo

[I Am Paula]

A member of my support group has my admiration, and will be a fine role model someday.
She is still young. As a teen she battled devastating depression, and survived numerous suicide attempts. When Drs. realized that transition was probably the only thing that would save her life, she was allowed HRT at 16 years old. She managed to get thru a year of transition in high school but the bullying got to be too much, and she dropped out.
Why is she a role model? After a very successful transition she found a job, with messed up ID, and as a high school dropout. While working, she finished high school. Just a few weeks ago she was accepted into college in the fall, where she will study to become a social worker, specializing in helping trans youth.
Role models don't have to have a hit TV show, they can be walking among us.

[KellyJameson]

Hannah Warg on Youtube (Ask a Transsexual) is closes to how I am except she is willing to say out loud what I usually think but do not say. We are very very similar in temperament and personality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AURvhCxDMQk

Other than that I would say Jennifer Boylan's words resonate with my own story as the internal struggles she coped with.

I have found both to be positive role models for me.

[stefan37]

My role models, no they are not role models at all they are people that are doing something that I respect. They are those that handle this side of themselves well, whether a CD or TS somewhere along that road to self discovery or transition. There are no ongoing dramatics, whining, complaining nor rants. They have a positive outlook, even knowing what they yet need to encounter and get through. They offer sound advice when they can, don't talk down to people and don't segregate the community because they see themselves a few steps of the invisible ladder above some of the others. They are respectful and just very nice people. There are a few on this site that are like that, but not as many as I would hope for.

You must be referring to me.

[PretzelGirl]

I like Allie's description. Someone who is a standup individual who despite all that can go wrong around them, treats everyone equally and moves forward with optimism and joy. I have a new friend locally who despite having many things stacked up against her in live, worked hard to improve her situation by achieving two major degrees and while working on the last year of both degrees, went through her transition.

[Kimberly Kael]

I looked to women from all kinds of backgrounds to find my role models. There isn't any one woman I admire as a singular role model, but rather a wide range variety of inspirations. I agree with others in this thread so far: it's much more about they treated others than what background they came from that earned my admiration. Among trans women, the characteristics that spoke to me the most were confidence, honesty, and empathy.

[mikiSJ]

The only TG woman I know fitting that description would be Aejaie Sellers at Carla's in San Jose. She fully transitioned over 30 years ago. She has been active in local LGBT groups lobbying for Trans* folks. Started her own social work clinics back east and out here. She has been successful at most things she gets involved in and has learned from her failures. She is to be admired.

I have known her for a year and half. She has given me support, friendship, encouragement - never asking for anything in return. (She would like it if I bought I bit more from her store, but...)

I am not sure that it is necessary to single out TG women for praise (and, yes I understand the question). Isn't it our goal to be just another member of the gang without having to wear a different colored name tag.

There are many women who I would want to emulate, and to make K happy, Hillary is not one of them. There are far too many to list here, and that is a very, very good thing.

[Michelle789]

I don't have any one particular CD or TS or TG role model that I admire. I do admire the entire CD/TG/TS community as role models. We go through a lot to be our authentic selves. Whether we dress privately on occasion, or go full time and alter our bodies, we all overcome lots of obstacles to be our authentic selves. We are breaking down society's rules that say you are either male or female, and you must adhere 100% to the rules of the gender you are assigned at birth, and saying no. We can dress in clothes of the opposite gender. We can identify as, and transition, to living as the opposite gender. Even if we transition, we need not embrace all stereotypes, or we can embrace all stereotypes, or mix and match - embracing some and rejecting others. We can live a gender fluid life. We can identify as genderqueer or androgynous, and present as such too.

We are today's pioneers. We are choosing to live authentically and not care what others think. So I think the entire community as a whole are role models.

[Kathryn Martin]

When I asked the question I was less looking for who might be a great role model but rather what a role model should be, in this context? Anyone want to venture there?

[SassySal]

In this context, I would suggest someone who has "been there, done that". Although it must be recognized that a great deal depends on how each individual defines their goal, or how they define their own personal success. What works for me might not work for you, and what works for you, might not work for me. So, YMMV

[Eryn]

I have to nominate my friend Persephone, who is also on this forum. I've learned so much from her! :hugs:

[Angela Campbell]

I have several role models. All have traveled the road I am on, ahead of me, yet each did it a little different and via a similar but varied route. For me it is someone who is where I want to get to, or has achieved something I want to achieve, or something similar. I take the best from each and learn what I need so I can make my own path.

[whowhatwhen]

When I asked the question I was less looking for who might be a great role model but rather what a role model should be, in this context? Anyone want to venture there?

Someone who owns their transition and isn't ashamed or afraid to do whatever they need to be happy.
I've only met a few though, but that's because of a low sample size. :/

[arbon]

I'm curious what your answer is Kathryn?

[LeaP]

What (not who) they are, are honest, loving, open, relationship-oriented women. They create and bind communities. They model and embody morality as the right thing to do for people. They sacrifice for others' needs and not out of nobility or philosophy. They work because the work needs to be done. They give by taking in.

A trans role model (MTF) is one who transcends their upbringing to let what they are predominate - and leave being trans as a personal quality behind.

[Persephone]

I have to nominate my friend Persephone, who is also on this forum. I've learned so much from her! :hugs:

Wow! Thank you, Eryn! But I'd have to nominate you and Mimi as well since I've learned a great deal from y'all.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Kathryn Martin]

I'm curious what your answer is Kathryn?

I very much like both Corrinne's and Lea's answers. The persons I aspired towards were fully rounded human beings, and in my instance with one exception were women which I encountered in my life. One aspect of their personalities especially attractive to me which was that they had the capacity to inwardly bend towards the other and to encompass, to create spaces for others both physically and emotionally, spiritually. There was a weightiness to them, a gravity, tempered by the capacity to love.

In being so they rested within themselves with great confidence and as Corinne says happiness. Being trans, as Lea suggest is not a destination but rather the beginning, and evolving and leaving it behind to reveal their true self is brilliant to both observe and to accomplish.

[Emma Beth]

I have to say that I do admire a few ladies here on the forums, but there is someone that I admire more than anything and she is not TS.

That lady is my department manager and immediate boss at work. I have worked for her for about the last eight years and we have become friends and we often vent to each other when needed. Wednesday she pulled me off to the side because she noticed that something was wrong. I don't know why, but I informed her of my situation with my GD and what has been going on. She never judged and even offered supportive advice and comforting words. We even got to a point where we started joking a little about my pink panties and the prospect of my first sun dress. She's great and I really admire her for her strength and sense of humor in the face of adversity.

Liz

[Rianna Humble]

I'm glad for you that your cis boss is that good, but why would you say she is a good trans* role model?

[donnalee]

On this site it has to be Jorga!.
She is not only very principled, but practical as well and has had the good sense to know that operating from a position of strength is much more effective than not, plus has had the foresight, ability, intelligence and wits to achieve such a position. She has always been willing to help someone with trouble, including not only trans folk, but others who cross her path. With the full knowledge that no good deed goes unpunished and that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions; she then goes ahead and helps them anyway!

[Pink Person]

I nominate me for myself. If you are a fully grown (or overgrown) person then it’s time to follow your own lead. I admire some other men and women and am influenced by them but the burden of my being and behavior rests with me. I can’t and wouldn’t shift it to anyone else. I’m the chief cause of my personal calm and chaos. However, I’m often inspired by other people, not just the ones whom I deem are worthy of my attention. Their inspiration stirs me to my own actions and peace of mind.

[Frances]

I had a bunch of role models. Some were local friends that had gone before me and had had fantastic results. I also read a lot of biographies coming up and some of those women (and men) become role models for me as well. Among those, I can name Calpernia Adams, Jennifer Boylan, Donna Rose, Annah Moore and Julia Serano. There are all FB friends now, except for Anna who deleted all her friends she did not interact personally. They continue to be role models.

[Kathryn Martin]

So, Frances and Pink Person, what makes your role models great role models?

[Frances]

Like I said, I read a lot of biographies. I was also in group therapy for a long time. In group therapy, there is a mirror effect, and it can happen with biographies as well. You get a person's whole life in a couple of weeks instead of a year. Of course, it is edited and crafted. I could see myself in the ones that stood out for me. Their struggles were similar to mine, and their triumphs became my objectives. They talked about loss and pain (physical and emotion) iwhitout a hint of pink fog, but also of ultimate salvation from despair. I have spent a lot time in my life thinking about turning off the lights. They too, but they made it through. From their stories, I knew it was possible, and it gave me hope.