Advice - obsession?

[AlexisRaeMoon]

OK, I've long realized that for me cross dressing is all about the clothes - the more feminine the better. The same good feeling I get from dressing, I also get when my wife wears something I "approve" of (you know what I mean). Unfortunately, that doesn't happen often enough! My wife has great taste in clothes, but she doesn't take the "sexier" option very often.

Well, the other day I was sorting the clean laundry into piles, and I came across this great pair of patterned tights (a real weak spot for me). I've never seen them before, so she must've just got them and washed them right away. These are NOT the kind of thing she would normally wear, so I'm a little baffled. My mind keeps racing with the possibilities...

A) My birthday is coming up, and she's secretly planning to dress sexy for me, and these are part of the ensemble (not something she's done in a long time, so seems unlikely).
B) She bought them for me (why would she wash them first? And I don't think she's aware of the extent of my "hobby.")
C) They're for some costume or stage wear (she's in the arts). I pretty much know what she's got going on, and there's no performances or anything in the recent past or coming up she would need these for.

Now that I put them in her pile, she's put them away somewhere that I don't know, and I'm completely obsessing over this. I'm hoping for option A (although B would be perfectly acceptable :o), but I have a feeling it's something I'm overlooking that has nothing to do with me and I'm getting all excited/worked up for nothing. I'm such a pessimist.

Should I just ask her about them? If it is meant to be a surprise, I don't want to spoil it, but why would she leave them hanging in the basement? On the other hand, the curiosity is killing me! Man, this obsession with female clothes can be a drag (no pun intended) sometimes.

[chloecd1305]

Definitely don't ruin the surprise, the anticipation of which option she'll choose will be worth the wait. All seem like pretty good outcomes. And please do tell us which one she does choose.

[Tina G]

Yeah i wouldn't go and ruin the surprise. Just let it go for now :)

[Mgreenva]

I couldn't take it I would ask...lol not saying that is the thing to do just know me..

[Beverley Sims]

Remember curiosity killed the cat.

Just have patience and you may be equally disapointed when you do eventually find out the simple truth.

Push now and you may destroy a lovely surprise. :)

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Thanks, all. That's what I've been thinking, too. I suppose my biggest fear is never finding out. I have this sneaking suspicion that this may just go unmentioned. Maybe I'll wait until a little bit after my birthday, and if I hear nothing, then ask.

"So honey, a couple of weeks ago I was folding laundry, and it just occurred to me that there was this sexy pair of tights. What was that all about?" Gee, that's not awkward at all...

[LeannS]

Patience We all know how hard it is to wait but hold on and see where it might go

but let us know how it comes out also

Leann

[LANKO]

Poker face.. don't show your cards until she does!

[Sc0rp10N]

I'm a non-trusting SOB. Could be the Scorpio in me, or just me in general, but I couldn't let it go. I'd have to know. Then again, I've been cheated on. Then again, again, I have cheated. Not trying to influence anyone, just stating my stance/opinion. I would have to know...

[Marcelle]

Hi Arianna. If it is truly a surprise for you a la scenario A or B be patient and enjoy it all the more. If it winds up C then enjoy your lovely wife's performance and admire the tights from afar.

Hugs

Isha

[AlexisRaeMoon]

OK, so the birthday has come and gone, and...nothing. Not only that, the article in question seems to have disappeared. (I know, I'm snooping, but it's driving me crazy!).

What now? Do I ask about it? Now I'm freaked out that they're gone...sigh...options A, B, and C all seem to be false. And I can't believe she just decided to buy a part of lacey stockings just for the hell of it and hide them away somewhere.

[Katey888]

Arianna - time for a casually interjected question sometime...

"Hey - I was sorting the washing the other day and I'm sure I saw you had new tights - did they come out of the wash OK...? Just wondering... sometimes they go baggy..."

What's the worst that can happen...? :)

Katey x

[Teresa]

You're sure you haven't changed some medication and you dreamed the whole thing ?
Something like that does drive you bananas ! You just can't shake the thought off !
Perhaps you could try asking if your wife has seen those patterned tights you just bought ? Or easier still go and buy your own at least you'll know where they're kept !

[Emi_]

M. Night Shamalamanana twist ending: They aren't hers either! ;)

[Momarie]

Why not just go buy your own?

That way if they are not for you, you won't be let down and disappointed.

It should help relieve your obsessive behavior too.

[Emi_]

Just realized: The possiblity of a wife keeping secrets from a cross-dressing husband is bothersome, yet... well, you know where I'm going with this.

Honestly, though. Yes, you are obsessed. This is too much brain power being spent on a lousy pair of tights.

[Maria 60]

Your killing me with suspense, you better let us know as soon as you find out. Even better go ask her now. Then again one day I was cleaning a closet and found a few new pairs of pantyhose, when I asked her she told me she didn't want me to get a hold of them. I don't know why she was thinking that, it's not like I took any of her stuff before. LOL.

[MelanieAnne]

I strongly suspect if it was the other way around, she would ask you in a heartbeat.

[kimdl93]

The mind can play lots of tricks. Wishful thinking can lead you to compose entirely fanciful scenarios out of whole cloth.

Here is the best strategy. Say to yourself huh, those were cute and as suggested above, get yourself a matching set. Then just out it out of your mind.

[Nadya]

Could she be trying something different for a change? Maybe she's changing her style and doesn't want you grabbing her new clothes. I can understand the obsession though. Tights are probably my favorite article of clothing to wear with an outfit.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Here is the best strategy. Say to yourself huh, those were cute and as suggested above, get yourself a matching set. Then just out it out of your mind.

Yeah, this seems to be the prevailing wisdom here...I guess there's a part of me that gets tired of having to fulfill my own clothing fantasies. Believe it or not, I was really hoping that they weren't for me, but that she was planning to wear them for me. It's been awhile since she's worn something more on the outrageous side of sexy for me, so it would've been nice. Now that they seem to have totally disappeared, it just gets kind of Twilight Zone-y.

This probably sounds like a horrible cliche, but I think the fact that my wife doesn't dress in things like that very often is what drives a lot of my dressing. I know that (in my brain) I've justified buying and wearing heels because she really can't, her feet are too messed up. I love heels so much that I can't bear the thought of not "experiencing" them, and if she can't wear then, I compensate by doing it myself. Does that make sense?

So, the long and short of it was I was hoping the pendulum was going to swing a little ways back toward the woman wearing the ultra-feminine things instead of me!

Thanks for all the responses...

[Jorja]

They probably belong to her girlfriend.:eek::daydreaming:

[Teresa]

Arianna,
I can see where you're coming from with your comment ! I would hate to think I turned my wife into a frump through my CDing !
She's just outed some really nice heels ! Size 8 male won't fit size 3 women's ! ( Dick Dastardly impression !!)
I did comment on one pair I thought she shouldn't part with because you could wear them with so many things !
I have never had that look from her before,! I'm still trying to interpret it !

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Arianna, You missed your chance you should have asked when you first saw them.

[Desirae]

It sounds like you help with the laundry on some regular basis. Why couldn't you just have said that you noticed the tights and they're something you hadn't seen before and ask her where they came from?

[Coping2014]

Hello - I'm new here and not sure if this is even one of the sections that the SO (I'm the wife of the CD) can post on but I felt compelled to share.

If this was happening in our home - I would thing the scenarios could have been one of two things

1- I bought them for me and wanted to wear them for him but maybe I chickened out
in which case you bringing it up before I was comfortable may cause an issue.

or
2- I bought them for you as a peace offering in letting you know I was trying to be ok with everything but again - maybe I chickened out


In both cases I would thing that bringing it up would show you don't trust her - as you said your snooping a bit - give her time to work up the courage to do this - in either case you come out the winner and after all wouldn't you LOVE it more if she did it on her OWN time instead of you calling her out on it and forcing it into the light?

Just my take on the situation - hope you didn't mind me chiming in! I really hope she shares them with you - either as a surprise for you or for herself to surprise you! Think how excited you would be when you realize she reached that milestone on her own accord!

Best wishes,

Coping2014

[emma30]

Get it out in the open with honesty, embrace yourself with the good positive. Transparancy is a great thing. Also remember life is one shot of your life not someone else.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Hello - I'm new here and not sure if this is even one of the sections that the SO (I'm the wife of the CD) can post on but I felt compelled to share.

If this was happening in our home - I would thing the scenarios could have been one of two things

1- I bought them for me and wanted to wear them for him but maybe I chickened out
in which case you bringing it up before I was comfortable may cause an issue.

or
2- I bought them for you as a peace offering in letting you know I was trying to be ok with everything but again - maybe I chickened out


In both cases I would thing that bringing it up would show you don't trust her - as you said your snooping a bit - give her time to work up the courage to do this - in either case you come out the winner and after all wouldn't you LOVE it more if she did it on her OWN time instead of you calling her out on it and forcing it into the light?

Just my take on the situation - hope you didn't mind me chiming in! I really hope she shares them with you - either as a surprise for you or for herself to surprise you! Think how excited you would be when you realize she reached that milestone on her own accord!

Best wishes,

Coping2014

I really appreciate the PoV of an SO. It's a good balance.

What you said makes a lot of sense. I guess the thing is she *has* to know I know about them, because I was the one who was sorting the laundry and put them in her pile. Then she puts her pile of clothes away. So, I wasn't snooping to begin with. They were just hanging on the laundry line out there in the open! Admittedly, I've snooped since, because they just disappeared with no explanation. I'm starting to wonder if I just imagined the whole thing!

You're probably right, I should just let it go. But it's just so weird. I really can't figure out what she was doing with them...

[StacyPump]

I agree. You weren't snooping, you were folding the laundry. I think you should ask. I think this is a great opportunity to have some honest conversation with your SO.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

In reference to this closed thread:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?215645-Advice-obsession&highlight=

To fully bring closure - I found the tights in a bag of stuff for Goodwill. I never asked about them (in deference to the GG suggestion that I just back off and give her time...). The really odd part is the rest of the stuff in the bag is my daughter's (she's 10, I don't think they were ever meant for her!).

Anyway, for those who chimed in - thanks.