Greenie
06-25-2014, 10:24 AM
Good morning all!
I have been vacant lately. Luca and I's job and life are going swell, so no worries there. Just more of a busy thing. But we had an interesting weekend and wanted to ask you all some opionions.
We went camping with Luca's family this last weekend. His brother and sister in law know about his CDing. But the rest of the family does not. His older brother (who knows) and I were talking about gender identity, gender stereotyping and transgenderism. The conversation was going really well. It all started with that I thought it was strange that in the middle of NO WHERE a camp site that took a 2 hour drive to get to, that there were still male/female signs on the outhouses. Really? One male outhouse and one female out house? You are in the middle of the woods, do you really need to designate one as male and female. They are the same stinky hole in the ground? The worse part was that one of my brother in laws didn't want to use the one with the women sign on it. I told them that the bathrooms were exactly the same, I had used both, the "womens" outhouse didn't have glitter and rainbows in it. After this comment and other comments from the younger brother about how he didn't want the "pink" glo stick. I was getting frustrated with the idea that even in our family people were behaving like this.
The older brother and I then started talking about how our society pushes us towards a binary gender, even though gender is a spectrum. He is scientifically minded, and we were having a really good conversation. I was trying to keep our conversation away from luca being a CDer. The odler brothers wife, was trying to get us to stop talking about it, because she was worried that in our sciientific talk about gender that the others would "pick up the scent" or put two and two together. I can be passionate about this without it being apparent that Luca is a CDer. But haha. Yeah.. Okay
Thanks to all you I now know ALOT more about gender and sexuality than I would be willing to say to luca's whole family. I then started talking about my friend bret who is a female to male, and the frustration he feels when he needs to use the womens bathroom. He doesn't pass. I watched him sit and debate outside a bathroom before choosing one time. Its hard because his family, still calls him her. Uses his birth name, and is just downright unwilling to believe that SHE could be HE. Luca's older brother then starts to tell me that we are in a much more accepting climate and that look at how far the gays have come. I explain to him that being gay and transgender are not the same. that people who fall under the transgender spectrum, have a lot longer and harder road to acceptance. And that being gay in a lot of places is still "not okay". (definitely not to luca's parents. They made a comment that as long as thier kids weren't gay.....) While we are talking about this, I bring up that the world is just not ready to understand that a man could be a woman, a woman could be a man, and the even stranger conundrum, that there is SOMETHING IN BETWEEN!
Important part of this long drawn out story. This is when luca's little brother says. "I'm sorry, but that is just gross and I do not believe in that"
A 17 year old. The generation that is supposed to be the most open minded who will help launch us into the future. Luca got up and walked away because he couldn't hear his little brothers opinion on the matter.
I then explained to him that gender is not black and white. Whether or not he "believes in it" doesn't mean that it doesnt exist. That we are talking about FACTS and actual real people that exist, not a choice or something that needs to be believed in.
I talk to him about the science behind gender. We talk about DNA and chromosomes, and how there are people who are born with both genetics. How parents will CHOSE which way to raise their children. Or that how just because you have all male genitalia, does not mean that your BRAIN thinks its all male. I could tell he was kind of listening but also not really caring. He felt like an idiot for his stupid ass beliefs. But that doesn't mean that he changed them.
Luca and I talked about how sad this was in our tent that night. Even the family that knows I don't think will ever fully understand. I wonder if they think that luca is just weird. Or like a sexual deviant or something. I don't think they understand that he is under the transgender spectrum. That he doesn't just want to wear female clothes because he is the "weird one."
It would be nice if every one could know. But in the bigotry that is Luca's family.... Its just never going to happen.
Anyone ever have a similar pre-out of closet reaction about any of this from a family member? What do you think of what happened here? And and all thoughts related to this matter, your own matter, are welcome. :)
Transgenderism is Gross. WTF is wrong with this world.
XOXO
Greenie
I have been vacant lately. Luca and I's job and life are going swell, so no worries there. Just more of a busy thing. But we had an interesting weekend and wanted to ask you all some opionions.
We went camping with Luca's family this last weekend. His brother and sister in law know about his CDing. But the rest of the family does not. His older brother (who knows) and I were talking about gender identity, gender stereotyping and transgenderism. The conversation was going really well. It all started with that I thought it was strange that in the middle of NO WHERE a camp site that took a 2 hour drive to get to, that there were still male/female signs on the outhouses. Really? One male outhouse and one female out house? You are in the middle of the woods, do you really need to designate one as male and female. They are the same stinky hole in the ground? The worse part was that one of my brother in laws didn't want to use the one with the women sign on it. I told them that the bathrooms were exactly the same, I had used both, the "womens" outhouse didn't have glitter and rainbows in it. After this comment and other comments from the younger brother about how he didn't want the "pink" glo stick. I was getting frustrated with the idea that even in our family people were behaving like this.
The older brother and I then started talking about how our society pushes us towards a binary gender, even though gender is a spectrum. He is scientifically minded, and we were having a really good conversation. I was trying to keep our conversation away from luca being a CDer. The odler brothers wife, was trying to get us to stop talking about it, because she was worried that in our sciientific talk about gender that the others would "pick up the scent" or put two and two together. I can be passionate about this without it being apparent that Luca is a CDer. But haha. Yeah.. Okay
Thanks to all you I now know ALOT more about gender and sexuality than I would be willing to say to luca's whole family. I then started talking about my friend bret who is a female to male, and the frustration he feels when he needs to use the womens bathroom. He doesn't pass. I watched him sit and debate outside a bathroom before choosing one time. Its hard because his family, still calls him her. Uses his birth name, and is just downright unwilling to believe that SHE could be HE. Luca's older brother then starts to tell me that we are in a much more accepting climate and that look at how far the gays have come. I explain to him that being gay and transgender are not the same. that people who fall under the transgender spectrum, have a lot longer and harder road to acceptance. And that being gay in a lot of places is still "not okay". (definitely not to luca's parents. They made a comment that as long as thier kids weren't gay.....) While we are talking about this, I bring up that the world is just not ready to understand that a man could be a woman, a woman could be a man, and the even stranger conundrum, that there is SOMETHING IN BETWEEN!
Important part of this long drawn out story. This is when luca's little brother says. "I'm sorry, but that is just gross and I do not believe in that"
A 17 year old. The generation that is supposed to be the most open minded who will help launch us into the future. Luca got up and walked away because he couldn't hear his little brothers opinion on the matter.
I then explained to him that gender is not black and white. Whether or not he "believes in it" doesn't mean that it doesnt exist. That we are talking about FACTS and actual real people that exist, not a choice or something that needs to be believed in.
I talk to him about the science behind gender. We talk about DNA and chromosomes, and how there are people who are born with both genetics. How parents will CHOSE which way to raise their children. Or that how just because you have all male genitalia, does not mean that your BRAIN thinks its all male. I could tell he was kind of listening but also not really caring. He felt like an idiot for his stupid ass beliefs. But that doesn't mean that he changed them.
Luca and I talked about how sad this was in our tent that night. Even the family that knows I don't think will ever fully understand. I wonder if they think that luca is just weird. Or like a sexual deviant or something. I don't think they understand that he is under the transgender spectrum. That he doesn't just want to wear female clothes because he is the "weird one."
It would be nice if every one could know. But in the bigotry that is Luca's family.... Its just never going to happen.
Anyone ever have a similar pre-out of closet reaction about any of this from a family member? What do you think of what happened here? And and all thoughts related to this matter, your own matter, are welcome. :)
Transgenderism is Gross. WTF is wrong with this world.
XOXO
Greenie