Content in the closet?

[Nikki_Taylor]

A comment I posted on another thread got me to wondering. How many girls on here are in the closet and completely happy being there.
I know there are all types of different girls on here at all different stages, in all sorts of different situations, some who live out to everyone, some who are happy living with their little secret.
For me I love my life and the role Nikki plays in it and the fact she is our little secret. I love that I have that side of me and feel kind of sorry for males who don't. Do I fantasize about being a girl full-time of course. Would I want to. No. I've had the opportunity for Nikki to play a larger role but It wasn't something we wanted. I'll never come out to my wife, I love her but she would not understand or ever want to meet Nikki, nor would I want her too, It wouldn't be fair to her. We could debate that neither is hiding Nikki from her but her knowing would destroy her, my family, my marriage, my life.

[Gardener]

Nikki, I understand the complexities, as I think we all will. Different solutions to fit different circumstances. Good luck

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, I am still happy in there, with no plans on changing anything any time soon!!

[Amanda_P]

I lived to long in the little closet I have. l Just recently I have been venturing out more and more. It is the best feeling I've ever had. And a lot of girls on here are right. Nobody really cares or says anything so far. This is going to be my first full weekend out in Seattle and can't wait to see how that goes.

[sometimes_miss]

While I'll not say I'm happy with the situation, for me there is no acceptable alternative. I grew up being treated like a leper when I was a kid; I know how people treat others who are different, and it's not a good thing, there are all kinds of things going on behind our backs that adversely affect our lives even if we have no knowledge of it all happening, we just live with less opportunities, and more problems because of it. I have absolutely no wish to go through that for the rest of my life. After having my face fixed, I learned what it was like to be 'normal' like the rest of society, and it was a huge difference. So in the closet I will stay.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki, I share in your feelings, The "my little secret" is, and has been, my path for a long time now.
However, I wouldn't say I'm "completely" happy. I feel I am outgrowing my closet.
Who the hell puts a window in a closet? Mine has one! I can see the outside world, and want to live in it.
Then the relationship I've come to know with my SO comes along, and it's holding the closet door shut.
There are moments when I'm willing to give it all up to allow myself the freedom to be me. But the fear of losing everything that has become my life, and starting over is just too much, it is so much easier to keep myself satisfied, and just continue to look out that window. (for now)
Much Love,
Kristyn

[missVS]

I am happy being in the closet so to speak. never ventured out and my style anyway of mostly lingerie, evening 5 inch sandals and gowns doesn't really work in the outside world except for nightlife. I do have a couple dresses and of course do think about venturing out. I would if the situation was right. I am single but have 2 children that live full time with me so that is always first priority.

[Megan Nicole]

I'm with ya Nikki. Same situation here. Wife, three kids, family, job, etc. MANY things would change if the secret got out & it would not be for the better. I know, I feel sad for me too, but it just has to be that way. I too fantasize about being a girl, and that desire has become stronger over the past couple years. It doesn't seem to be backing down either! I have to be extra careful now days about my CD life as my wardrobe and underdressing has increased big-time. I feel ya!

Megan

[Robyn2006]

Thanks for the thread, Nikki. Seems so many of us feel the need to get out there, share it all, but not me. Took a long time to accept my femme self, but now that I have I'm quite content within my closet/home. Not at all interested in going out or bringing others into my glam life. It's something I enjoy enormously and so need to feel complete. And I'm happy with that. Like you, I fantasize about living full time as a woman. But unlike you, I'd make that change in a heartbeat were my life different. I know that might sound sad, but it's not. I love the life I have and my career almost defines me, gives me great satisfaction. My desire to be a woman is a private matter which I have no interest in sharing other than online.

[Katey888]

Good question and supporting points, Nikki... (always get bonus points for a well-structured OP here.. ;))

I'd support all of those points - the only slight variable for me is the conditional 'completely happy being there'... :thinking:

I think I'd like to try 'out' - but that would have to be in a way completely anonymous and segregated from my real life... then if it didn't work out, I could just slink back into the closet with the cocktail bar and flat-screen telly...

I think Gardener's observation of 'horses for courses' (to paraphrase) is correct - there are no rights or wrongs in what we do, just choices and consequences... be comfortable with yours... :hugs:

Katey x

[Petra_Briar]

I agree Katey, I would like to try it out in an anonymous and segrgated way...I have choosen to stay in the closet and am very content with that decision but I would be happy if I could explore a little more.

[Julie Denier]

Despite my recent night out dressed, far from home in a safe environment, I still consider myself to be closeted. It's where I need to stay for the foreseeable future, and I enjoy myself a lot during my sporadic private dress-up time ;)

[emilie.claire]

Both my femininity and my sexuality are in the closet right now. I'm married, so sexuality doesn't really matter at the moment. As far as dressing, I wish I had more freedom. But I don't necessarily want to wear dresses and heels everyday. It is hot and sunny today in Maryland, I would have loved to lay out in the sun in short-shorts or a bikini!

At a different point in my life I would probably dress more freely. My wife hates me dressing fem, so I keep it secret. I'm not happy about it. It feels constricting.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

Nikki, you took the words out of my mouth. I'll never be happily "content" with my situation. It's something I choose to live with. I have to be content making the best of it and taking full advantage of every opportunity to get out dressed. It's far better than the alternative of never getting out.

[Christen]

I agree with you Nikki. My wife knows I crossdress, but we rarely discuss it. She's never seen me dressed and I don't intend to show her, I'm certain she has absolutely no desire to see her husband dressed as a woman. Somethings are better out of sight, for me crossdressing is one of them. Yes, I hate the keeping secrets but in my case our lives are better for it not worse.
And, Oh, I'd love to get out, but if it never happens in my life I've not lost anything.

Christen x

[Laura Collette]

I haven't been out except to a few Tri-Ess meetings a number of years ago. It was very difficult for my wife although she gave me the freedom. Now I underdress every day and have been pushing the envelope wearing a bra under a T-shirt that really doesn't hide it very well. I also carry a purse. I just "straighten up" when visiting my mother-in-law.
I'm glad I can express my femininity to this extent and although I wish I could go out as Laura, I don't expect to. I have absolute faith in my wife and my marriage but I don't want to hurt her. That's part of what love is to me.

[Pink Susan]

I'm never happy about "being in the closet "

Women go out dressed like Men , but I can't go out dressed like a Woman (though I do on occasion )

Women can wear any colour or fabric they like , but I'm not supposed to wear my favourite Pink fluffy Cardigan , or sheer tan Pantyhose,or silk pink panties?

Who wrote these rules ?

If anybody thinks about it seriously , you can only come to the conclusion , there is no logic , no good reason for it , its beyond reasoning .

The argument that Women aren't actually pretending to be Men , just wearing clothes their comfortable with , doesn't wash either , that argument applies equally to me too.
I only try to pass as a Woman , because Men aren't supposed to dress the way I prefer to dress .

[ashley_addams76]

Fine with where I am. I don't want to rock the boat. The occasional dressing of Ashley is all I want or need.

[Steph_CD_62]

I am content on being in the closet most of the time, however it would be nice not to worry about what I would like to wear out in public.

[Rachael Leigh]

Pink Susan I agree with you hon, there is a big part of me that just enjoys the look and feel of the clothes in male mode or not. I really don't like calling myself a girl that much either but understand it. So while Im in the closet just wish it wasn't so restrictive

[Suzanne F]

I appreciate the opinion that it is better to stay in the closet. I understand what I have risked by coming out to my wife, family and friends. If it had been about the clothes more and less about feeling right for the first time ever I would have chosen that path. However, for me it is an overwhelming need to finally say this is who I am. I was so tired of carrying my secret.
It is a huge step to come out and it does have consequences. Unfortunately it does hurt some of the people that you love. But in many cases it gives people the opportunity to grow. I have been so overjoyed when my kids saw the real me and loved me. My wife has stretched and shown an amazing ability to love. I would have missed all of the amazing support from my friends if I hadn't risked it all by coming out to them.

I in no way want to judge not coming out. I just want to say that for me it has been worth the risk so far!
Suzanne

[Jorja]

I go about setting chocolate eclair trails in an attempt to coax one of these girls out of the stuffy closet. Muahahaha:)

It is perfectly alright that you do not want to come out of the closet. I am sure we all understand that. I just want to know, isn't it crowed in there with all of those skeletons?

[wanda66]

I truly enjoy cding as we all do. It's my stress release and it stays in the closet , being able to discuss it here is great

[rhondasmith42]

I have to agree...No one needs to know right now. It would not be good news for those around me.

[Samantha Clark]

Not out of the closet, except to the extent that my wife knows I wear panties and hose. I'm content with where I am for now, don't know where I'd like to be in the future. I'd like to dress more outerwear at home but not confident. My mental image of my inner girl is a cute female. Unfortunately I don't have the infrastructure to pull that off, and the reality of confronting the mirror dressed is a disappointment!

[Pink Susan]

Pink Susan I agree with you hon, there is a big part of me that just enjoys the look and feel of the clothes in male mode or not. I really don't like calling myself a girl that much either but understand it. So while Im in the closet just wish it wasn't so restrictive

Thank you Leigh :o

[Taylor Ray]

Maybe there really isn't a closet, when you finally embrace the truth which is Your-Self.

And maybe the issue is more serious for gals longing to transition, and those who question their gender identity.

For me, as each year passes I feel less and less the urge to put away my dresses and finery when company is present.

[emilie.claire]

I go about setting chocolate eclair trails in an attempt to coax one of these girls out of the stuffy closet. Muahahaha:)

Nobody said anything about eclairs! I would have come out a long time ago for an eclair! :daydreaming:

Unfortunately, my wife hates my dressing. I have kids I don't want to thrust it upon. And I spend a lot of time around guys that would make my life difficult. Kristin Beck is my hero right now.

[Alice Torn]

In 9 years of dressing, i have been out maybe 12 or 13 times. I am very paranoid, to be truthful, and have other issues, that keep me in the closet mostly. My height (six foot eleven in high heels, makes me instantly noticed big time. I do hope to go to out again some day or eve, but it is very difficult for me. I don't have a wife or SO, but family of origin would crucify me , if the learn of Alice, and some of the local townspeople who know me, too. The local Cleaners know now, for sure, as i have had dresses altered, and looks from the cleaners staff. I wish i had never told anyone other than on this forum, because long time friendships are very strained now, and I am looked down on big now. I am putting the kabosh on those friendships now. They refuse to be educated , and stay rigid.

[Sara Jessica]

I think I'd like to try 'out' - but that would have to be in a way completely anonymous and segregated from my real life... then if it didn't work out, I could just slink back into the closet with the cocktail bar and flat-screen telly...

There's different degrees of "outness". What you describe Katey is pretty much what I've been living for years. Two different worlds with their own elements of fulfillment that rarely, if ever, intersect.


It is perfectly alright that you do not want to come out of the closet. I am sure we all understand that. I just want to know, isn't it crowed in there with all of those skeletons?

What about the ultimate skeleton, like what happens when we give up the ghost?

I guess there's a simplistic 50/50 chance that one spouse will outlive the other. So for those who are content in their extreme version of the closet (where even the SO doesn't have a clue), wouldn't you rather explain things in person rather than have your stash addressed after your demise???


Women go out dressed like Men ...

Really, WHERE? I've never come across this phenomenon. Heck, I rarely see MTF's in the wild.

[Secret Drawer]

As many have stated already, if you must, or wish, you should be happy with your situation whether in or out of the closet. I found that as I got older, the closet became smaller and more cramped then I could stand, and the contentment with it wore thin. I also question the idea that to come out of the closet is an automatic death sentence? The first words out of my wifes mouth when I came out to her was "It could be worse!" and while we remain in a DADT, with her knowledge but not participation, it hasn't dealt a death blow to my life.
I have a feeling that for some of us we are putting off the inevitable!

[Donniesr]

I recently came out of the closet. I sat down with my wife, told her about my dressing, and she was flabbergasted. I explained to her that this is part of what and who I am. She left anyway, but we are now good friends. I have visited her at her new apt. in full femme, and she was ok with it. she is slowly coming around. All my other family has mixed feelings. My daughter loves it, has even given me dresses, My son says oh well, but doesn't want to see it. My mom who is 92, has said be who you are, I'll love you no matter what.
I went to the store a while back(maybe a month ago), in my LBD, and although I got some weird looks, nothing adverse happened.
For a long time I was scared to let anyone know about Donna, but now that I'm out, I'm happier for it, and no one has been hurt. My wife and I would have separated any way. It wasn't my dressing that caused it, it was just the excuse.

[Teresa]

Nikki I guess it depends what motivates your CDing , mine is sexual and want to share it with women. I have experienced this in the past with a GF so I know it can and does happen, my wife is not interested. Being in the closet for me is not a good thing, I've spent too long there and it has driven me mad ! Now in my sixties I want to change from the guilt of hiding away, I can't spend the rest of my life living with my CDing like that. I truly don't want to hurt or offend anyone but I want to stop hurting too and that's what being in the closet means to me !

[Amanda L.]

Reading the thoughts and validations of the members of this thread has been enlightening. I have only accelerated my desire to crossdress in the past 18 months, having been limited to opportunities and genuine desire to venture past only wearing pantyhose spasmodically. Since around June last year I made the decision to build up my own female wardrobe and now indulge once a week in full female transformation. I am able to do this as I am completely on my own at the weekend. I will remain in the closet as I am afraid of the consequences of coming out. I have to consider the effect it would have on my family, work mates and business associates. For me to share this side of me seems to be a selfish motivation to unburden a deep secret.
Joining this Forum has provided me at least an opportunity to share my secret and articulate some of my feelings. For that I thank you all for the opportunity for free expression.
Cheers
Amanda

[CrossJess]

Women can wear any colour or fabric they like , but I'm not supposed to wear my favourite Pink fluffy Cardigan , or sheer tan Pantyhose,or silk pink panties?

Who wrote these rules ?


It's just the way it is I guess, I don't own a single item of male clothing the reason being?... well it's boring there is so much colour choice for guys.. NOT!! I mean Black, blue and grey wow:doh:.... yea that's great if your dull and want to go through life bring a monochrome guy!:sad:, yet the girls get 16.7 million colors to choose from!:daydreaming: naaa for me female clothing is the only way! I much prefer to be a walking rainbow than a damp grey day in Britain:straightface:

[Renee Elise]

I really don't have much interest in sharing Renee with those who won't / can't understand, so for now I'm content to enjoy my time when I can dress to myself, and of course finding this forum and being able to find others that can relate has been pretty awesome :).

[Stephanie47]

My wife knows I am a cross dresser. Early in our mariage we bought nylon nightgowns and hosiery for me to wear on occasion in the bedroom. She was accepting and accommodating. However, when my interest expanded into buying a bra, slip and panty, she realized this was more than "bedroom play." She was totally turned off. So be it. I have no desire for her to be exposed to Stephanie. I respect her opinion. She also encouraged me to join a support group. She has no idea how extensive my wardrobe has become since her rejection of my interests. Do I desire to venture out into the world as Stephanie? No! It would subject not only me to ridicule, but, also her.

[Tina Leigh]

Oh yes I am warmed by knowing others weigh the same decisions. Happy in my closet, maybe. Some day it seems more like a really tiny phone booth or the trunk of a car. But all I have to love and protect that I value is out side and never should the two meet or destruction would consume all. I wish I could build a back door so I can step out and be a little more of a whole person as Tina but such as the problem of constructing a room in the middle of a room and not in the corner , all walls connect to visibility. Knowing I have Sisters and virtual friends is important and coffee in drab while we imagine each others alter appearance suffice for freedom. Tina

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Heck, I rarely see MTF's in the wild.

Exactly! Because, despite what you'd think reading here, MOST are in the closet. How do I know this? Many wives support groups run their own questionnaires and the last one I read that was answered by a few hundred crossdressers showed that very few had ever dressed in public and very few wanted to. In fact, those who did dress publicly rated themselves closer to TS than CD.

If you're in the closet, you've got lots of company in there with you so don't feel bad by what you read here. This forum can often resemble high school - peer pressure is rife! :)

[Pippa A]

I'm feel exactly the same as you Nikki. The only thing I don't like is hiding things from my SO - It's fine normally but very occasionally situations arise where I have to be less than honest with her - not lying as such, but not being entirely truthful either - and I HATE when that happens as I she is utterly the love of my life.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki, I am only out to my wife and it's a DA/DT she just don't want to see me dressed
so I'm pretty much in the closet I know my boundaries and stay with in them, Life is great.

[Janine cd]

I'm happy to be able to dress in private. I do dress under in public, but have never had the urge to dress fully in public. My inner spirits are content to see myself as Janine while fully dressed at home.

[michellecd9999]

I agree Nikki, being in the closet is "right" for some of us. No one who knows my male side know I CD and most all of them would not approve, including my wife. I have been out in public at a few Tri-Ess meetings and by myself on a few occasions to a bar and once out with Phoebe (female who does makeovers in ATL) to lunch and shopping in the daytime (no one noticed me so I guess I passed!).

[Saepe]

I'm only out to three people: my dad, my college roommate, and one of my brothers. If I don't come out to anyone else in the next year, I'd still be happy. Much further than that? Who knows!

[Nikki Love]

Hi Nikki,
What a good question. I am comfortable with my closet, it is small compared to others who post here. I have the support and understanding of my wife when it comes to crossdressing and that is very important to me. At this time the closet will remain what it is; exclusive and small-ish. However, I have plans to enlarge into a small suite it the coming years, slowly. I want to enjoy every step, whether it be flats, pumps, or heels.

[Amy Fakley]

Well "content" is probably a strong word, but it's where I am. Without a doubt, I've spent more brain power thinking this through than anything else in my entire life, and I am absolutely certain that for me and my family, remaining in the closet is the best possible decision I can make presently. It's not the way I really wish things could be, but of the alternatives at the moment it's the best one I've got.

It's a stalemate, and at this point the best I can do is make lemonade, and try to get through it without becoming a stressed out ball o' nerves. That and hold on to the hope that someday (perhaps magically) things will change and the consequences of cracking that closet door a little wider won't be so potentially dire.

Do I wish things were different? Well hell yeah! But you know ... they aren't, and that's just how it is. For now at least.

Thanks for starting this thread, it's good to give voice to this point of view on the forum once and a while.

[heatherdress]

My wife is fully aware of my dressing and encourages me to dress every day.

[grace7777]

I am in the closet to the people I work with, and to people I am related to. The people I am related to do not live near me so I do not see them often.

As often as I leave my apartment dressed enfemme, I am sure a lot of my fellow residents know of my dressing. Also I go to restaurants, shopping malls and grocery stores dressed so some employees know of me as Grace. In fact a few days ago I was flying pretty and a flight attendant said she had seen me on a flight before.

It used to be I would only go out in public when out of town and in the evening or night, but in the last 14 months I have really stepped up my dressing. Now if I leave my apartment and I am not going to work I am mostly dressed enfemme.

[KaylaRoxx]

I geuss you could say im still a closet CDer. My gf knows and i told one of my friends once a couple years ago but made up a story to cover it up right away. Id like to be able to at least tell my mom about it and probably will at some point. Other than that people dont really need to know. I don't know if going out in public dressed up counts as being "out" but that is something id like to try as long as i knew i could be passable and no one would know it's me.

[Sc0rp10N]

I'm only "out" to the wife and that's where it stays. It is only in relation to our sex life and no one else business. Its like any other "kink" one might share in the bedroom with their S.O. It's just for us.

[Lacey New]

Interesting way of putting it - "content". Well, I guess I am content being in the closet. It has taken awhile for me to finally come to grips with the fact that I am a crossdresser and I always will be and I enjoy it and that's OK. This forum has been a great help for me getting to that point. So, now what does "out of the cloest" mean? My friends here online know I am a cross dresser and there is a SA at Dress Barn who knows there is an anonymous male who has tried on and purchased a dress and there are any number of SAs at various places who have seen an anonymous male pay cash for all sorts of lingerie. So, am I in the closet? I guess so because I have never tied my crossdressing to my true identity. And I suppose I never will. I am selfish to the point that I recognize my crossdressing is about one thing only and that is me. No one else. To come out would hurt me and would likely embarass and /or turn off and hurt friends and family. So, I guess I an "content" to keep this part of my life separate - at least accepting and comfortable with the fact that staying anonymous is to me, the only path that makes sense.

[LaurenS]

It's a shame that we live in a place and time that prevents many of us from being ourselves. I'll be the first to suggest "why be normal?", but for practicality, hide my true self.

Although "normal" seems to be much more fluid these days, it still really isn't.

[AKADonna]

I have ventured out of the clost a couple of times in places far from home and have concluded that 1) I don't pass very well, and 2) I don't have any CD friends to meet or things to do (except to shop, which I hate doing and can't afford), and, most importantly, the risks to my marriage are just too great for the benefits gained.

So, it's back in the closet with the door slammed for me! I am content underdressing with a bra and panties as that has been pretty much fulfilling those feminine urges and feelings for many years!

[NicoleScott]

Other than my wife knowing I crossdress, I'm in the closet and plan on staying there. Why? Because there is no compelling reason to come out.
I have observed that when there is a "I came out of the closet" thread, there are lots of congratulatory replies. As if coming out is reaching a level of achievement that everyone should strive for. The fact is that there are many of us who have the drive to crossdress but the awareness and common sense to understand that coming out would change everything: family and friend dynamics, job situation, etc. So we accommodate the drive to crossdress and live otherwise normal lives. Crossdressing has no effect on being the husband and father, provider, handyman, etc. that I should be, and I accept all the responsibilities of manhood. I just like to dress up occasionally, and decided long ago that it's best to do it privately.
To all the others who have successfully been all the man you can be while successfully accommodating your drive to crossdress in private: congratulations.
You'll never hear that from the come-out folks, who, by the way, want you out for their benefit, not yours.

[Sara Jessica]

I have ventured out of the clost a couple of times in places far from home...

People need to figure out just exactly what the closet means.

Sorry Donna, you didn't venture out of the closet. You simply extended it to another dimension, the real world "far from home". Aside from risk of running into someone you know, you have not taken any steps to share this thing of yours with anyone, hence you are still closeted.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...


To all the others who have successfully been all the man you can be while successfully accommodating your drive to crossdress in private: congratulations. You'll never hear that from the come-out folks, who, by the way, want you out for their benefit, not yours.

Nicole, it sounds like you have managed your situation ideally to meet your needs. While I would encourage anyone & everyone to step out into this wonderful world we live in, I totally get it why many (most?) choose not to. It doesn't affect my world how many of us are out there because it doesn't do anyone any good for someone to be in an element they are utterly uncomfortable with. The Muggles will pounce if they perceive weakness.

And BTW Nicole, as "out" as I have been, I'm not out. My closet is very similar to yours, just several square miles larger ;). But a key element is that our SO's know. There's out, there's closeted, and then there's hiding.

[NicoleScott]

I agree that there are differences in how "out" is defined. My wife knows, but we have agreed that nobody else needs to know. I have been out a lot, and even in to shops and a club while en femme (but while I have been married, I don't go out in my home town). I have revealed that I crossdress to people like wig shop SA's, but since they don't know my identity, that's not "out". There are differences between being out, going out, closeted, and hiding, and it's OK for each of us to choose for ourselves the level we reveal or protect our crossdressing.
Good for those who have come out, but that's not a goal every crossdresser need to have.

[marsha leanne]

I have to agree with christen (post 15) and nicole.(post 54) i am very happy in my closet with no asperations at this time to step out. I read all of the stepping out stories, and cheer all the girls for it. its Just not in my script at this time. marsha is a part of me, I'm content with her, and she adds a whole lot of comfort and stability to my being. I enjoy her contributions to my world, and she enjoys being able to be free to run around the house when she can.

There was a time in the past, that we did step out, but Marsha wasn't fully aware and i wasn't ready to handle the outside world. Although the results were very nice, that need has never resurfaced, So I am not going to push it.

I have given thought to going full time, out and all, and I'm sure most of us have at one time or another. There is no harm in that, and can be thought of as daydreams or fantasy possibilities. Again, no harm as that can be a comfort in its own right. you are not 'bad' if you don't go out. only you know what works for you, your situation, your world.

The thing that i like best about this family here, is that we are all at different levels, different needs, and all feel accepted and supported by everyone here. i find a great deal of comfort, strenth, and assurance whenever i visit. There are those here i look up to, sort of a 'big sister" and read everything they post. I have been honored by a couple who have added me as friends. i have been made to feel welcome and accepted.

Because of that, My need to 'climb out of the closet" is not an issue for me. I have a home situation that works, i have an online family i can reach out to if need be, and i am at peace with both sides of me. I like Marsha, and she is content in the world that she lives in.

[Emi_]

I think it was said best by Nicole Scott who wrote, "...there is no compelling reason to come out."

With the rise of the internet, we can all be connected and feel free to be ourselves without having to actually do anything. I sit here in my sweats and t-shirt with my three days of beard growth and unkempt hair and talk about being "girly" and I have to put no effort into actually getting dressed or worrying about someone "finding out." I can have social interactions and feel like I'm really doing something when I'm really just going to sit and type and have some Chee-Tos and never experience real freedom - which is okay because I will FEEL like I have freedom.

Perhaps this is liberating for some. Certainly it makes the world a bit less lonely, but it's as much a fantasy as the idea that a bathing suit will make me sexy.

I believe some people are fine with this being just a once-in-a-while kind of thing that they do for themselves - I'm like that a lot. However, I also believe that there are some of us who would want more but there's no real incentive when we can just jack in to the net and let the Matrix do it's thing for us.

[Jillian Kate]

I am content in the closet for now but the thought of getting caught excites me. I have a wife and 4 year old son and a daughter on the way. If this secret came out I have absolutely no idea how my wife would take it. I have too much to lose to even try at this point.

[Desirae]

I've been in the closet for a LoOoOoOng time. Counting back to when I first starting getting serious about CDing, and fully dressing at around 13 years old, that would be about 35 years. No, I'm not happy about being in the closet. That's why I started taking concrete steps in recent months to get myself out of it, at least on occasion. I'm not there yet, but I'm heading there. I wish I would have been able to do it sooner, when I was younger, but it is what it is. Maybe its a midlife crisis. Call it whatever you will. If its not now for me, I doubt it ever will be.

[LANKO]

I'm in the closet. My family nor friends know, or even suspect. But I'm ok with that, I'm still new to this. Right now I'm just trying to organize the closet I'm in.

[Jorja]

Dang, I can see I am going to have to find something more powerful than chocolate eclairs to lure some of you out. ;)

[Jess84]

some of my friends know, it hasnt really changed much. Then again they probably don't know how much i dress these days lol

[Beverley Sims]

Why come out when you can still enjoy life without destroying everything else you have lived for.