hi everyone advice

[gabyy]

Well not sure if im posting in the right place still pretty new to this forum. Anyways here is what happened i was in the middle of getting all dolled up when my father walks in, i thought he already left for, but i guess he was running late. Well he walks in looks, and with a disappointed face walks away and leaves for work. Now my question is, how should i start the convo or say when he gets home.

[DonnaT]

Well, he didn't yell, so that's an initial plus.

If he gives you the silent treatment, ask him if he wants to talk about what occurred. He may not want to.

[Jenniferathome]

..., how should i start the convo or say when he gets home.

"Dad, would you like to talk about what you saw me doing this morning?". The shock is gone already. Now the conversation can start.

[Roberta Young]

Hi Gabyy, I would suggest that Your Dad should start the conversation. Give Him time to think what He is going to say. I am hoping for the best for You. Roberta

[Kate Simmons]

Not knowing what your situation is and how close your relationship with him is, it's hard to say really. More info is needed to even attempt an assessment.:)

[Teresa]

Gabbyy,
I think I would leave it a day or two and see if anything is said, at 21 he might think you'll grow out of it !
After that I think a lead in to a conversation would be to apologise for what he saw and see what his reply is. Also have some answers ready about the obvious questions you'll probably get, maybe thinking it through may help you get a perspective on your CDing

[gabyy]

Well, my relationship with my father is pretty good we get along well. Talk about stuff in general, so no resentment between us. And my situation as in? And thanks everyone for some advice im a bit embarrassed. I just turned. 21, so hopefully he doesn't get mad and kick me out.

[Jennifer_Ph]

Be respectful, be honest, be open.

[Wildaboutheels]

You are only 21 and [obviously?] still living at home. Your dad's home. Since he had the disappointed face, YOU need to approach him at the earliest good opportunity and OFFER to explain to him exactly what CDing means to/does for you. You don't want your dad stewing over this especially if he might be old school or a "man's man". DO NOT direct him to the internet for answers/info.

Just like the vast majority of GGs here, unless your dad already personally knows a CDer, he likely has all kinds of wild thoughts and possibilities running through his head about you. DON'T wait for him to come to you.

[Jennifer_Ph]

Good advice heels!

[Tracii G]

Personally I would talk to him first, the sooner you do the less time he has dealing with whats going thru his mind.
Let him know you are still the person you always have been and that you love him more than anything in the world.By saying that you will break down any worries he has.
Then explain whet he saw and how you feel.
Don't show guilt or embarrassment is the key just be open and honest with him.
The shock part is over for now so thats a good thing now repairing the first shock is up to you.
I wish you all the best and hope your Dad is man enough to accept you for who you are.

[Katey888]

This is a bit sketchy, gabyy... :)

Kate's right that we're missing a lot of context about you, how you are, do you come across as slightly feminine at all, might your father know this?

And where did he walk in to? Your bedroom? Your bathroom? Your closet? ;)

And in what state of transformation were you..?

On what you've said here so far, I'm surprised he didn't seem more surprised - perhaps he suspects? You're living with him - you need to explain this to him...

Katey x

[Roxie]

let your father come to you with the questions about what happened. I've learned that once the cat is out of the bag ,hard to put the cat back.He was more than likely shock to beat hell however can't be worse than when he first saw you. Give him some time and explain how you feel, once your this far no use and lieing to him . Good luck

[Tracii G]

Katey what does it matter where he saw her? The fact is he saw her and she needs to deal with it.
The longer he has to process this there is more chance he will search and find mis information.
Being a parent myself if either of my daughters had been CDing and I walked in and saw them dressed as a man yes it would be a shock.
Having them sit me down and explain why right then I would be more accepting chances are because I love them.

[gabyy]

Im aware that details are missing, but i just wrote a summary of.what happened. And all this advice is helping a ton.

[Christen]

Gabyy,
Definitely the time to have the talk, and better if you start it. It will be hard I'm sure, but best thing to do.

Good luck,
Christen x

[Kate Simmons]

Just tell him what your feelings are.:)

[gabyy]

Once again thanks to everyone for being kind and with great advice

[Tracii G]

Some of us here actually care and try to help if we can. YW Gabyy

[Donniesr]

I agree with everyone else here. be honest with him. then let him make up his mind as to what he feels about it. Then go from there.
Wish you the best.

[Beverley Sims]

I would let your father make the first move.

Just have a valid argument ready and no hysterics or tears.

Be honest with him.

[Marcelle]

Hi Gabyy. When I read your situation I get the impression that CDing is part of who you are and you enjoy it immensely. It is plausible that your father already suspected on some level that you may be CD since you are living with him. He may have found clothing, your mannerisms may have crossed over from boy to girl at times (happens). When he walked in on you his face may have registered disappointment owing to the fact he confirmed what he suspected. This does not mean he still doesn't love you and the fact that he did not yell or scream leads me to believe he is processing.

Personally, I would give him a bit of time (a day) to process as it can be confusing to find your son dressed as a girl. However IMHO you really need to bring this out for conversation. It is possible it will go bad but then again you might be surprised. He now knows about Gabyy so IMO the only way is forward through discussion and communication. Good luck sweetie.

Hugs

Isha

[KittyD]

Like Jennifer_Ph said...

[LeannS]

Talk to him and tell him how you feel and why you do it. Thats what I had to do with my wife. so not exactly the same but the same outcome hopefully.

Leann

[Princess Grandpa]

Anxiously awaiting an update. I hope this plays out well for you!

Hug
Rita

[ambigendrous]

I'm in the camp of you initiating the conversation. If you wait for your father to bring it up, it gives him time to dream up all kinds of incorrect theories, and when he does confront you he will already have preconceived notions of what's going on. You'll be on the defensive trying to justify who you are. If you initiate the conversation then you can have more control over it, and can possibly keep it more of an educational conversation rather than a confrontational conversation.

[nikinylons]

You can't run from it now, just be honest with him.