LeaP
06-25-2014, 04:55 PM
Were you to list the most terrifying things imaginable to the male mind, #2 on the list, right after having your wedding tackle torn off by raging piranha, and just above being Dwayne Johnson's special friend at Attica (see prior episode), would be the prospect of being confronted with a gigantic woman. OMG!
You see, to the run of-the-mill male mind, zombies are a shooting game challenge, vampires are cool, war is heroics, ghosts are opportunities for displaying bravado, and aliens and astronauts are just cowboys and indians in disguise. Come to think of it, they DID make Cowboys and Aliens ...
But a giant woman, now THAT'S terrifying! Especially in a bikini. How do I know? Behold "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"! (AFFW) I mean, who even remembers the original ... "The Amazing Colossal Man"? THAT guy just looked like a big Mr. Clean in a diaper. Psssh - no terror there at all! But AFFW? It generated all kinds of sequels, movies like the 50 Foot Cheerleader and the 60 Foot Centerfold! Scary - yet strangely compelling. And AFFW entered our cultural history forever. The meme is in a thousand books and games, in Archie comics (50 Foot Veronica), politics (50 Foot Sarah Palin ... brrrrrr!), and music (Attack of the 60 Foot Lesbian Octopus).
To the men of the world, this fear is primal. It's the world upside down and backwards. Emasculating. Unnerving. I mean, what if she wants to run things??? She can't be stopped! To the women of the world, it's a bit silly. But we're women, right? Right? So why should a T-girl care?
What a great question!
Forget confronting giant women. What if you ARE one? And WANT a bikini? Ah, enter the protagonist - a MTF in transition. Where a big, hulking 'ol guy becomes a sweet litt...
Whoopsie! Statistics please! (Strictly at the gloss level.) If y'all are about my height (5'8.5"), take a breath. About 35% or so of women are at least that tall. How about 6'1"? Wow, that curve really flattened, didn't it? You're now down to about 2.5% of women.
6'3"? Sure is a small decimal! Actually, about the same as for 7' tall men. Sure are a lot of those around, aren't there? The answer here is yes, and they are all in the NBA. +1 if you are in the NBA - you have enough money to ignore everyone. -1 if you are Dennis Rodman. You aren't a good MTF role model. (Nod to Kathryn here ...)
Over 6'3"? Why Bunkie, there's scores of women that tall! (Literally, a few score. Google it.)
Face it. Any T-girl over 5'10" is considered in the male height range, that being the average male height. While being a tower of power isn't the height of male tells (slipped that one in there for pun fun), you best take special care to knock a few other tells down a notch, lest you become the booming, hulking, lumbering tower of power, if not the actual embodiment of AFFW. Fix 'em, lest you never date again.
So our poor protagonist is fighting not only everyone else's biases, but their own accultured prejudice.
I know, let's start with some extra height! Consider heels for a moment. No, wait - don't if you are over, say, 6'2"ish, unless you look like Brigitte Neilson's big sister.
The good news is that some of you DO (or can) look like Brigitte's big sister. SO STAND UP STRAIGHT! PUT YOUR SHOULDERS BACK! HOLD YOUR HEAD UP! There. Now you actually look like a woman and not Dennis Rodman in a dress. If you are >50, of course, do whatever you like. You are already invisible.
The mixed news is yeah, people will notice more ... but they won't mess with you! And that little dude you're dating that turned out to be a twerp doesn't have a prayer at overpowering you. Why, he can't even carry enough date rape powder to knock you out!
The bad news is shopping. All of it. Hats to flats. You think, "I know, I'll take up sewing"! Silly girl, what you are going to take up is sewing and pattern making! Commercial patterns don't go that big. I assume you agree that a MuuMuu is a no-no. Feel free to tackle shoe making, and I suppose you can do without hats, unless you will be attending Ascot in the Royal Enclosure.
People might snark a little, but in truth, they LOVE tall women. As long as they ARE women. So whatever you do, own it. The crowning glory of being a MTF TS is that you are a woman and can project it from within, unlike the non-TS who will be but a pale imitation.
Do that and you won't be disappointed. (Except in the shopping.) Now go attack the world!
You see, to the run of-the-mill male mind, zombies are a shooting game challenge, vampires are cool, war is heroics, ghosts are opportunities for displaying bravado, and aliens and astronauts are just cowboys and indians in disguise. Come to think of it, they DID make Cowboys and Aliens ...
But a giant woman, now THAT'S terrifying! Especially in a bikini. How do I know? Behold "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"! (AFFW) I mean, who even remembers the original ... "The Amazing Colossal Man"? THAT guy just looked like a big Mr. Clean in a diaper. Psssh - no terror there at all! But AFFW? It generated all kinds of sequels, movies like the 50 Foot Cheerleader and the 60 Foot Centerfold! Scary - yet strangely compelling. And AFFW entered our cultural history forever. The meme is in a thousand books and games, in Archie comics (50 Foot Veronica), politics (50 Foot Sarah Palin ... brrrrrr!), and music (Attack of the 60 Foot Lesbian Octopus).
To the men of the world, this fear is primal. It's the world upside down and backwards. Emasculating. Unnerving. I mean, what if she wants to run things??? She can't be stopped! To the women of the world, it's a bit silly. But we're women, right? Right? So why should a T-girl care?
What a great question!
Forget confronting giant women. What if you ARE one? And WANT a bikini? Ah, enter the protagonist - a MTF in transition. Where a big, hulking 'ol guy becomes a sweet litt...
Whoopsie! Statistics please! (Strictly at the gloss level.) If y'all are about my height (5'8.5"), take a breath. About 35% or so of women are at least that tall. How about 6'1"? Wow, that curve really flattened, didn't it? You're now down to about 2.5% of women.
6'3"? Sure is a small decimal! Actually, about the same as for 7' tall men. Sure are a lot of those around, aren't there? The answer here is yes, and they are all in the NBA. +1 if you are in the NBA - you have enough money to ignore everyone. -1 if you are Dennis Rodman. You aren't a good MTF role model. (Nod to Kathryn here ...)
Over 6'3"? Why Bunkie, there's scores of women that tall! (Literally, a few score. Google it.)
Face it. Any T-girl over 5'10" is considered in the male height range, that being the average male height. While being a tower of power isn't the height of male tells (slipped that one in there for pun fun), you best take special care to knock a few other tells down a notch, lest you become the booming, hulking, lumbering tower of power, if not the actual embodiment of AFFW. Fix 'em, lest you never date again.
So our poor protagonist is fighting not only everyone else's biases, but their own accultured prejudice.
I know, let's start with some extra height! Consider heels for a moment. No, wait - don't if you are over, say, 6'2"ish, unless you look like Brigitte Neilson's big sister.
The good news is that some of you DO (or can) look like Brigitte's big sister. SO STAND UP STRAIGHT! PUT YOUR SHOULDERS BACK! HOLD YOUR HEAD UP! There. Now you actually look like a woman and not Dennis Rodman in a dress. If you are >50, of course, do whatever you like. You are already invisible.
The mixed news is yeah, people will notice more ... but they won't mess with you! And that little dude you're dating that turned out to be a twerp doesn't have a prayer at overpowering you. Why, he can't even carry enough date rape powder to knock you out!
The bad news is shopping. All of it. Hats to flats. You think, "I know, I'll take up sewing"! Silly girl, what you are going to take up is sewing and pattern making! Commercial patterns don't go that big. I assume you agree that a MuuMuu is a no-no. Feel free to tackle shoe making, and I suppose you can do without hats, unless you will be attending Ascot in the Royal Enclosure.
People might snark a little, but in truth, they LOVE tall women. As long as they ARE women. So whatever you do, own it. The crowning glory of being a MTF TS is that you are a woman and can project it from within, unlike the non-TS who will be but a pale imitation.
Do that and you won't be disappointed. (Except in the shopping.) Now go attack the world!