Do you really want a feminine physique

[Candice Mae]

I've been on these boards for about five years, one of the common subjects that have been discussed is the feminine physique. Whether it be smaller muscle mass, breasts, waist, or hips, posters have wanted it all. Let me be clear here I am not talking out these posters want to live as a woman or have SRS. They just want to have a more feminine physique for dressing purposes, and remain male otherwise I am posting this in the CD section after all. As I continue to transition I notice that its becoming harder and harder to look masculine. I have little to no muscle mass left, breasts, and a waist guys shirts or pants either show of my femininity or look like I'm wearing a tent, there's a point were you look like a woman in men's clothing. Not that its a bad thing for me, But it would be troublesome for those wishing to remain male. Over time people around you will also notice a change, most of them will not say anything. But they will be aware that there's something going on, and for CDing purposes is altering your body really worth it?

Now I can not speak for everyone or predict their experiences, I do this to inform those going down this path to make sure that they are aware of whats ahead.

[suchacutie]

For those of us who started rather far away from the feminine ideal (whatever we individually felt that is), the problem seems so far away. On the other hand, there are those of us who really do wish to be able to switch back and forth as equal-gendered partners in life. That brings on wondering, "What body improvements are compatible with both genders?"

As we age, we lose muscle mass. So, I'm focusing on the muscle mass that I want to keep: primarily my core! To get to see that core muscle mass, I need to lose the non-muscle that covers that muscle! So, being healthy and losing weight around the middle while maintaining that core muscle mass (including my butt!) is my focus.

So how else do we maintain balance, or decide we don't want balance and go off as Candice has described?

[Marcelle]

Hi Candice Mae . . . good point. However, unless the CDer in question is going to begin HRT the type of changes you are talking about are not possible. I have dropped roughly 20 pounds of mass in the past year. While it part it was to make dressing easier it was mostly because my physician recommended that weight is weight and your body is designed to only carry so much and the older you get the harder it is to loose. So pushing right to 50 this year she wanted me to shoot to my target weight 150 - 155 lbs (I stand 5'6"). So through a heavy aerobic and form and function regime (diet as well) I am down to my target weight range. However, my body is still all "guy" just lean muscle vice bulky. So unless the CDer is going to take non prescription hormones (not a wise choice at all), breast development, weight redistribution is not likely. The best a CDer can hope for is a lean athletic build but as a guy they are still going to have a guy's chest, shoulders, arms and legs :)

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

I also have such a long way to go, and I don't know whether I have enough time to even get close to having a somewhat feminine form before I end up with and old persons body.

[LeannS]

I am about 200 lbs now. Looked in the mirror and the clothes look alright but they could look better. So I decide to get off the soda, not eat so much smaller portions,
and with exercise we can do this. I will loose my man boobs and that is fine. but I am not holding out for the hour glass shape either.

Leann

[Rogina B]

If you are in good shape[not overweight]...Does it really matter? For everything you can tweak,there is a cost or something else that gives away maleness[visual]..Growing a thick skin,learning to look your best and act with confidence,is far more beneficial! The people that accept,embrace and include Transgender persons tend to look a whole lot deeper than outside appearance.

[Saepe]

My ideal body is about 50/50, yeah. Right now I'm losing weight (5'8½", 162 lbs, was 185 lbs three months ago), but I'm also planning on starting mild HRT. A slightly enhanced waist to hip ratio, softer jawline and about A-cup breasts would be perfect! :)

[Michelle789]

It depends on what kind of body alterations you are making for CDing purposes.

Hair Removal

If you are going to do a few laser or electrolysis sessions to reduce the beard growth, but not eliminate it completely, that is acceptable for a CDer. It gives you the best of both worlds. You can shave the beard easily when you want to CD, and let it grow back out when you want to be a male and have a beard.

You can wax the rest of your body, which causes the hair to disappear completely for a few weeks, and then to grow out even thinner. This makes it easier to pass as a woman, yet men wax these days too so if in male mode and you're hairless or with thin hair, no one will notice, because men can be hairless too.

Shaving, is tedious, and takes longer, is also an option. Especially if you only CD occasionally and want your beard or body hair back quickly, and it to grow back as it normally would for a male, this is your best option. If you wish to CD often, you may want to consider waxing and some laser/electrolosys, or be open to spending lots of time shaving.

The point is, it's easier to pass as a hairless man than it is to pass as a hairy woman. So hair removal options that give you the best of both worlds are the way to go if you're a CDer. Occasional CDers,who CD once per two weeks or less often, may just opt for shaving when the occasion comes. CDers who CD more frequently, such as twice per week or more, may want a more semi-permanent hair removal course of action.

Muscles

While you can't reduce your muscle mass by much, and the fact is that having a testosterone based body means you're going to have more muscle mass, you can make yourself appear to be less muscular. Simply eliminate all strength training exercises and playing sports, and stick to cardio exercise alone. Cardio will help you to stay in shape, lose weight or prevent weight gain, and will not build the bulging male muscles that weight lifting and sports do. Of course, this may be a bummer for those who actually enjoy strength training or playing sports, and you may have to resort to being more of a nerdy bookwormish male, but you can still pass as male being a nerd or a bookworm. Being a nerd or a bookworm (or properly, an intellectual) is gender independent. It is neither male nor female to be an intellectual, and both men and women can be intellectual.

Hormones and Surgeries

I would definitely not recommend a CDer to do HRT or get any surgeries. In fact, for a CDer to do HRT or get surgeries is harmful to your body. HRT and surgeries are meant if you're a TS and need to transition.


However, unless the CDer in question is going to begin HRT the type of changes you are talking about are not possible.
........
The best anyone can hope for is a lean athletic build but as a guy they are still going to have a guy's chest, shoulders, arms and legs :)


Unfortunately, Isha is right. Unless you're blessed with a feminine body, or at least some feminine features, you're stuck with a male body without HRT. However, hair removal and eliminating bulging muscles is possible. But you can't change your hip/shoulder ratio, or grow breasts, or soften the skin, or feminize the face or any other part of the body, without hormones. And I do not recommend hormones if you're a CDer. If you feel a need to feminize your body with hormones, I would strongly suggest seeing a gender specialist and find out why. Maybe you have deeper issues and could be a potential TS. If you and a gender specialist both agree that at least a mild dose of HRT is necessary for you, then you may do so. But please do not start HRT without consulting a doctor first.

[mikiSJ]

I do not want to start a war, but I am not a crossdresser, I am transgender on estrogen and trying to get as feminine a body as possible is a definite desire and reality.

For those girls here that do not want to transition, and as Rogina said, not overweight, there are plenty of appliances that can be attached to your body that will help you achieve a feminine figure.

HRT, in my case, is getting me there: together with age related muscle loss and a sedentary life story is getting my shoulder width into the same plane as my hips and I am starting to get a waist.

So, the Size 8 forms go on EBay, don't have to worry about hip pads and that waist cincher is still rolled up in my lingerie drawer.

[larry]

YES !!! That is exactly what I want..

[Barbara Dugan]

I believe the vast majority of crossdresers want a more feminine physique, now the reasons can be different

[Michelle789]

Barbara, what you just said really goes along with what my therapist said about CDers having less progressed GD than a TS. I think this question is a really good question for a gender specialist. Seeing a gender specialist first to help you figure out what you should do, and then finding an endocrinologist to give you hormones and monitor your hormone use is probably the best way to go.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm working on it ;) but some would be surprised what smoke and mirrors and misdirection can do without changing a thing really.:battingeyelashes::)

[Krista1985]

Yeah the body envy comes in waves for me. Some days I really want all the curves and secondary features to compliment my dressing. But then back in boy mode, I want to develop my muscles and work on my physique. The balance is tilted in favor of a masculine frame and body, but sometimes when I dress I wish my arms were smaller, my waist thinner, my hips wider. Overall, I'm OK with a masculine body, I do hope to attract a female partner, and it helps to have the male characteristics.

Funnily enough, if I go a few weeks without lifting, and my chest gets a lil flabby, I'll really like it when dressed. But when I see moobs poking up under my oxfords in male mode, I freak out and hit the gym to tighten them back up.

So I guess it depends upon when you ask me! Right now, I'd take the whole female enchillada. Tomorrow morning I may feel differently though.

[Sc0rp10N]

Only temporarily for me. I enjoy being my masculine self 99% of the time, even if I'm an a$$ for some of it. But, its only when I cd that I wish I had a bit more voluptuous form, big butt, curvy torso, etc. But I'd also like smaller arms (lifting weights most of my life completely destroys that possibility) but my legs are HOT in cd mode, which helps me be happy with the result.

[Beverley Sims]

Candice,
I have learned t live with a small frame and feminine features all my life.
Things have only gone downhill in the lst ten years.

I do agree if it is something you do not have, don't aspire for it unless you are "really serious".

[Emi_]

To answer the actual question: Yes, I would very much like a feminine physique. Why should I lie about it or cover up that desire? I don't care for the masculinity of my body overall and I don't care if I look feminine - I tend to look feminine anyways nowadays. I am not interested in transitioning but I feel I look better the more feminine I look - that is why I cross-dress. Appliances and trickery are fine and have their place, but I am after something more authentic and complete that will be natural. I don't expect that I would ever look 100% like a female, but I would be good with just looking more feminine than I do.

[Cheryl T]

I would say YES. I would want a more feminine shape.
We can dream can't we?

I'm not about to do those things that would give me that shape such as implants, hormones and the like, and Mother Nature didn't bless me with features that would be construed to be feminine, but it's still part of all this to wonder what if ...

[njcddresser]

Hi. Since coming out to myself as a cross dresser last year, I have attempted to improve my feminine figure and have had some success. Beginning in January, I started to go to the gym regularly and really began to watch what I eat.

I've dropped about 12 pounds to my current 148 lbs. I'm 5'9". I do a combination of cardio and weights. My arms have certainly gotten bigger and if anything was going to give me away as a guy it would be my arms. I do a lot of chest exercises and have begun to to build some muscle mass in my chest to the point, I can wear a 36A bra with no padding and able to fill it out nicely.

I have almost no waist, butt or hips. I do wear padded panties and a cincher that helps give me some curves.

I don't see myself ever taking hormones and am generally satisfied with how I presently look.

[Terrylynn]

I would love to have a more feminine shape but that just isn't a possibility. At 6'3 215 lbs when I dress I look like a guy in a dress which completely destroys any illusion that I could ever pass. I look ridiculous in women's clothes so when I dress I try to stay aware from mirrors.

[Katey888]

Great point, Candice... One of those areas that I believe is a factor in determining just how much of a GD issue individuals experience... for those of us that are seen by anyone else, of course... closet dressers with powerful imaginations are at a distinct advantage... :)

Until the past 6 months nobody other than me had seen me dressed... It seems I'm lucky in having a fairly lightweight male physique, and Kate's observation on misdirection is a good and relevant one for all of us as the right clothing can make a positive contribution (a certain Oz girl's comments on leggings and looking chunky notwithstanding...! ;)) - and while I would like to have a smaller waist at the moment (that's just a lardy male thing) I don't want to feminise my body beyond just slimming down a bit.

I'm afraid I don't crave boobs or hips, I prefer my bottom to be pert (as I do on women), and I have no issue looking like an average male 98% of the time. But I can empathise and sympathise with those who are driven to present female and for whom those extra 'bits' help with the blending.

It's good advice Candice... in the nature of 'Be careful (or at least, be sure...) what you wish for...'

Katey x

[Deedee Skyblue]

Really not sure what I want at this point in my life, Candice... there are times when I wish I could look like a sexy lady, but most of the time I am happy to look like (and be) an older average guy who used to be a hot stuff jock and is now fighting to lose a beer belly. I am pretty resigned at this point in my life to the guy body, but I would like to lose enough weight to wear size 14 clothes!

Deedee

[Rogina B]

Barbara, what you just said really goes along with what my therapist said about CDers having less progressed GD than a TS. I think this question is a really good question for a gender specialist. Seeing a gender specialist first to help you figure out what you should do, and then finding an endocrinologist to give you hormones and monitor your hormone use is probably the best way to go.
Who are you talking about? A "crossdresser" or a "transsexual"? One is most often consumed by what they imagine they see in the mirror while the other is trying to get the GID under control so they can have a life. HUGE DIFFERENCE!

[CrossJess]

Oh yea! I do cardio work out on a crosstrainer every night for 20 minutes keeps everything toned with out putting on muscle mass this is particularly good if you want thin legs and a girly butt, my arms and legs are quite skinny with out looking manly thankfully, I also watch what I eat and don't booze or smoke these are 2 of the biggest things to make you look old and fat before your time oh and keep out of the sun, I've been working on my tummy for a month now to pull it in to give me a more hour glass figure:), I also drink a big bottle of water a day in fact i drink loads more than that but it makes the liver produce more male estrogen this in turn gives you a more feminine silky looking skin because testosterone levels are being lowered because estrogen levels are high probably explains why I cant grow a beard very well...more bum fluff, lol I found this out when I went for a blood test once and the doctor said I had more womanly arms & skin than most of the woman that come into the surgery haha:battingeyelashes: and she then ask if i drink a lot then told me how it all works lol etc I remember saying to her "Oh that's why I'm so emotional then!:o", quite cool how the body works and what you can change

[Erica Marie]

Honest. Yes I do want a feminine figure. But needless to say I was born with the wrong hormones and genetics. I do what I can to stay in shape, I never had much muscle mass but the weight I have is still all in the wrong places. I know without hormones my figure will never be just the way I want so I will have to make do with what I have.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Candice, To each his/her own I like to have as feminine figure as
I can with my size 9 forms , Hip pads and the right foundation garments.

But when all of the garnishments comes off I am mister macho again.

[Mollyanne]

I would LOVE to have a more (much more) feminine lookin' body!!!!!! I have said many times before that I would transition "yesterday" but I am now to old.

Molly

[Teresa]

Candice I know you're asking Cders this question so I would have to say yes to a feminine physique as far as being able to wear off the peg clothes !
If this means watching what you eat and getting plenty of exercise to achieve something resembling an hour glass figure it's worth it !
I don't mind losing body mass but not at the expense of muscular strength, I still need to do physical work, despite not being massively built I still don't come over as being a wimp !

I guess as you transition you may have concerns about what aspects you may lose ! But there are some pretty strong GGs out there ! As long as your choice brings you a happier life, that's the important point !! I wish you well !

[Renee Elise]

Hi Candice, To each his/her own I like to have as feminine figure as
I can with my size 9 forms , Hip pads and the right foundation garments.

But when all of the garnishments comes off I am mister macho again.

Me too :)

[Stephanie Julianna]

We all want a figure when we dress and then we want everything normal in our day to day lives. Luckily I am short, 5'5" so that worked well for me when dressing, especially since I love heels. However, over the years I have been on a roller coaster of gender orientation issues which did involve some form of hormones at times. Because of this I'm a bit chesty which does not seem to diminish with weight loss. Actually, they look more prominent when my weight is low. Great when I'm dressed and not so great when trying to look manly. Regular use of Nair under the guise of needing hairless legs for cycling years ago has rendered my legs hairless. The same goes for plucking eyebrows which now are thin with a decidedly feminine arch. One of my granddaughters commented recently that I had eyebrows like her mommy. None of those changes were intended to be permanent and have caused me some embarrassment at times but people have gotten used to my "look" when in drab. So be careful. All our bodies are different and you may have to live with changes that you were not planning to live with forever. I'm not saying that I am unhappy with the changes that I unwiitingly made but be prepared to live with them if you make them. Getting old is also interesting since, as male hormone levels drop there seems to be some softening of the features and muscles so for you girls in midlife, just wait and let nature do its thing.

[Jenniferathome]

I believe the vast majority of crossdresers want a more feminine physique, now the reasons can be different

I couldn't disagree more. The vast majority of cross dressers are guys who occasionally cross dress. The minutes or hours spent cross dressed could be more convenient if our bodies matched some feminine ideal and it would certainly make passing in public easier, that is just a fantasy.

I firmly believe that it si the vocal minority here driving this misconception. Even the comments in this thread are directed towards "losing weight." That has nothing to do with "feminine."

[Daisy41]

I jump on the boat that only a minority of us really want a feminine physique. I personally am working towards this goal with some success (my measurements are 36-32-40.5, chest-waist-hip that's NOT typical male pattern) and all I am doing is exercising and eating nutritiously. Maybe I have some hormonal imbalance that's caused my body shape to lean towards more androgynous? I don't know.

But the main reason I'm posting is because I think we're kind of treading on the issue of what's "feminine" in a physique. Ok so we're genetically men, no problem, but differentiates men and women body types? Mostly frame, fat distribution and muscle mass. Look up women with large arms, broad shoulders, with an Adam's apple, with rectangular body shape - women come in all shapes and sizes. So it's very reasonable for a male to expect to be within the female area of body types with hard work (just like a woman can get within the male range). I think it's unreasonable to expect the difference in the way the body looks to have a distinct line drawn through it. There's a reason why women's fashion caters to the ability to create the illusion of certain body types. How do we know a-line skirts create the illusion of hips or that v-necks reduce the appearance of broad shoulders? It's because even ciswomen have attributes that may considered masculine.

Ultimately I believe one needs to not focus so much on what they don't have and instead enhance what they do have. Being ok with one self goes a long way in your happiness, even in the world of gender identity or gender variance.

[Teresa]

Jennifer the problem is a guy carries weight in the wrong places and it's much harder to lose the guy in the dress look !
My weight loss was not through Cding but I'm grateful because I don't want to resort to padding to get the shape right

[Desirae]

If I could have a "do over" in life, I would. I mean right from the get-go, straight from birth. I know I'm not going to transition this late in life. I have read all about how true TS women have no choice but to transition. It's life or death for them. Most likely, my GD isn't as bad as theirs. Still, if I could go back and start all over, I would want a feminine physique and all that entails.

[missmars]

I want to have female breasts.

[Saepe]

We all want a figure when we dress and then we want everything normal in our day to day lives.

I think it's unfair to generalize this much. I'd prefer to have softer features in my day-to-day life as well as while fully dressed (I'm usually at least partially dressed). Maybe that's the norm, but "we all" is pushing it a bit too far! ;)

[Ugly Michele]

Yes I would love to have body to die for. Won't happen but a gurl can always dream.

[typhoidmary]

I absolutely want a female figure, I would have definitely been born a girl if I had any choice. thankfully I have quite a feminine body anyway, no doubt mostly because I'm so skinny.

[Ressie]

No… Yes… Yes, at this moment I have a desire to have wider hips, breasts and a smaller stomach. What else? Smaller hands and feet, more fat tissue than skeletal muscle, softer skin, loss of masculine body hair. What else? a woman's hairline, a more feminine back and neck, did I say breasts?

The thing is, I just don't have a consistenly strong enough desire to try to achieve any of this. If I did, I would begin to look like a freak as a man and would have to transition. Yes, we can always dream and wear corsets!

[Bryanne]

I was born with Klinefelter Syndrome, so I naturally have a more feminine appearance, and was a blessing and curse in my younger years. I'd love to be even a little more pronounced in the hips and breasts when dressed nowadays, but that may just be my preference for thicker gals showing in my own preference and style.

[GenderPunk]

What exactly is a feminine physique? Women come in many shapes and sizes. And I don't see any reason why being muscular should be exclusive to men. I may be in the minority saying this, but perhaps instead of trying to appeal to a beauty magazine standard, we should learn to appreciate all the varieties of the human physique. In the end, we're all more human than male or female.

Trans people should get some leeway here though, if their suffering is strong enough to undergo HRT and/or SRS.

[Saepe]

Nothing wrong with a little progressive thinking, but you'd have to be blind to not see that women on average have wider hips, narrower waists and shoulders, slighter limbs, larger breasts, softer skin and rounder faces. Plus they tend to be shorter. It's not about being beautiful so much as normal, or average.

[Barbara Jo]

I actually do and always did have a basically feminine form........ larger than normal (for a male) butt and hips..... and now small breasts.
In fact I stopped wearing forms for the most part with a (36a/b) bra
When, I was younger some friends used to kid me about my feminine ass and legs , etc .

BTW, my pic is old and I have since gained weight after quitting smoking and now not "skinny" like I was before.

However, I have a masculine face. I guess you can not have everything

[Sabrina133]

bottom line is "yes, absolutely want a feminine body" and am working to that now.

[ShelbyDawn]

Absolutely!!!
Unfortunately there is not much I can do about it.
I am in the same boat as Terrylynn and while I am on schedule to be rid of 30 pounds by the end of the year, it is going to take 'significant' additional effort(laser, surgery, HRT, etc) to make the other changes I would be interested in; permanent hair removal, hair transplant on my head and breasts. For a variety of reasons, these are all pretty much out of the question.

Now, as posted in another thread, if somebody could turn me into a 10 year old boy and I could know all I know now, I would transition in a heartbeat.

[Barbara Dugan]

I couldn't disagree more. The vast majority of cross dressers are guys who occasionally cross dress. The minutes or hours spent cross dressed could be more convenient if our bodies matched some feminine ideal and it would certainly make passing in public easier, that is just a fantasy.

I firmly believe that it si the vocal minority here driving this misconception. Even the comments in this thread are directed towards "losing weight." That has nothing to do with "feminine."
I still believe the clothes don't make the crosdresser is the desire to catch that femininity ideal that can vary from each invidual....Now I don't recall many crossdresser saying how happy they are with some big arms or broad shoulders. What we normally hear is complains about the bodies we are stuck with, it may be wishful thinking or just plain fantasy but if you put on a dress and don't desire to have feminine physique why bother to do it.

[ShelbyDawn]

I agree that losing weight has nothing to do with being feminine. Heaven knows there are just as many overweight women in this world as there are men.
I want to lose weight for two reasons; one, it is the healthy choice and two, I really want that cute summer jersey dress I just bought to fit better.

[NicoleScott]

The question made me think of those quickie questionaires that [are supposed to] determine your place along some scale. "Would you rather have a pink or black laptop computer?" and other dumb questions.
Answers to this question, however, may reveal a lot about who/what/where we are. I'm an occasional crossdresser for pleasure. It would be fun to have a feminine-looking body when I'm crossdressed, but I also enjoy my male side and spend most of my time there, and the male body I have serves me well for the male activities I do. I know I can't have it both ways. The best I can do is use shapewear to give myself somewhat of a waist when I CD.
I think that if I had a strong feminine identity and wanted to spend more/full time en femme, I would probably desire a more feminine body.

[MzVanessa]

Maybe it just depends to what extent you crossdress or if it is beyond that. For me... and me alone... if I am at a heavier weight most of that weight turns into belly fat and I have a chubby face. In my perception of what I want to look like as a girl, I would rather not have the beer gut, which is not a very feminine feature, or a round face. The more weight I lose, the slimmer my legs, the smaller my waist, the less broad my shoulders, the nicer clothers I can wear, and the easier I can pass when I go out in public, something that is important to me. Perhaps if I didn't wish to venture out en femme and only dressed indoors for a couple hours once a month weight would be as important as it is to me now.

[Jillian Kate]

Yes I do wish I had a more feminine physique. I actually wish I was just born a girl. There's nothing I admire more than a female's curves. I just wish I could see them in my own mirror.

[Daisy41]

I will add too that I did not get serious about weight loss, nutrition and general grooming and appearances until I decided to get serious about cross dressing. Otherwise I just didn't care about how I looked as a guy. Then again, cross dressing isn't about having fun for me. Yes, I enjoy it, but I enjoy what I'm doing in a skirt more. I like socializing with people shopping, seeing movies and generally living life while presenting myself as female. I truly believe that some of us straddle the line of transgender and crossdresser. Some people seem to think the lines are cut and dry and I can tell you without a doubt that they blur a lot more than you'd think, so it's not unreasonable for someone who's "just a crossdresser" to really, truly want a feminine physique, but not enough to make a full blow transition via HRT. This is where I believe some of us are able to make a "best shot" through exercise, diet and clothing choices.

[Rogina B]

I agree that losing weight has nothing to do with being feminine. Heaven knows there are just as many overweight women in this world as there are men.
I want to lose weight for two reasons; one, it is the healthy choice and two, I really want that cute summer jersey dress I just bought to fit better.
Losing weight is a simple solution that can help female clothes look better on a male body.Smoke,mirrors,corsets,girdles and rubber bands are all nice for pictures but don't work so well on an everyday out basis.

[wilt575]

I didn't really have much of a choice in that my mother always wanted a girl and dressed me at home and at 11 started giving me hormones, telling me they were vitamins. So I got the physique early on. Today I'm 5' 3" 128lbs. Looking back I'm thankful and bless her memory, for who I am and my physique.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

Yes, I absolutely want a feminine physique. Since I want to become a woman, that obviously comes with the territory.

[Algoma]

YES I do. And am working it, lossing wieght, again, and exersises to bulk up hips and thin waist. Would love to get facial and body surgery. Algoma

[Judith96a]

I couldn't disagree more. The vast majority of cross dressers are guys who occasionally cross dress. The minutes or hours spent cross dressed could be more convenient if our bodies matched some feminine ideal and it would certainly make passing in public easier, that is just a fantasy.

I firmly believe that it si the vocal minority here driving this misconception. Even the comments in this thread are directed towards "losing weight." That has nothing to do with "feminine."

In my case, yes and no!
I agree that a more feminine shape would be more convenient for the few occasions on which I'm in female mode. Would that same shape work for me in male mode? Probably not very well so yes, it's a fantasy.

But as for losing weight in order to achieve a more feminine presentation - in my case I think that it would actually help. The basic problem is that men and women accumulate excess mass in different places. In my case, the excess bulk accumulates mostly at tummy level thus accentuating the difference between my shape and any variety of "feminine" shape. If there was a little (OK - a LOT!) less flab getting in the way then then that difference would be reduced and corsets etc. would probably be more effective in moulding what remains into an approximately female shape (also less padding required to balance hips with top half). Also, the Judith that I see in the mirror would be a closer approximation to the image that I have in my head! So, for me, loosing weight, while it will not of itself produce a more feminine shape, does have the potential to enable the achievement (albeit with help) of a more acceptable (to me) presentation.

[Amanda L.]

I would like to shape my waist a bit more. Whilst I don't look over weight I am carrying a little more around the girth than I would like. Not much I can do about the rest of the frame. I don't want to loose my masculine appearance. I work in a very masculine industry and my interests can be physically demanding.
Damn! I broke a nail.
Cheers
Amanda

[Rachel_B]

I don't say that I want a feminine physique or use hormones because I am mostly comfortable with the body I have. With that said though, I would like to lose some around the middle and around the thighs. It would be nice if I toned in a slightly feminine way (if I could lose some muscle mass in my calves because I think they are just way to big).

[GenderPunk]

Nothing wrong with a little progressive thinking, but you'd have to be blind to not see that women on average have wider hips, narrower waists and shoulders, slighter limbs, larger breasts, softer skin and rounder faces. Plus they tend to be shorter. It's not about being beautiful so much as normal, or average.


That was meant as a rhetorical question. I was trying to say that I think we're all a little too concerned with what men and women ought to look like.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

In my early years I had very feminine features. When I started grade school and throughout I was called a sissy for it. I think if my mother had me let my hair grow out I'd have easily passed. That was many decades ago in the "dark ages" and I think it has formed who I am today. At my age today (61) I have the age related breast growth but have a tummy that needs to be flattened. With exercise I can do that, I think. I don't want to lose my boobs though!

Getting back to some of the issues presented, I wouldn't care what anyone thought if I had a more feminine shape. I'd love it! Let's remember that the close people we interact with would probably not notice or just gradually accept our changes. Being retired now I hardly interact with the public. The nice thing about aging is the fact that our bodies do change due to low T levels. Mine are extremely low and my features have softened. I've seen plenty of older men with soft feminine feature who could easily pass. That might get me out the door dressed!

Cheryl

[Robyn2006]

HRT, in my case, is getting me there: together with age related muscle loss and a sedentary life story is getting my shoulder width into the same plane as my hips and I am starting to get a waist.

So, the Size 8 forms go on EBay, don't have to worry about hip pads and that waist cincher is still rolled up in my lingerie drawer.

Wow… so happy for you, Miki. Wishing you all the health and happiness in your transition!

Green (Revlon Red?) with envy :daydreaming:,
Robyn

[NavyM2F_WAM]

Robyn,

You look good in your avatar. :)

[MissTee]

I say no, I do not. Though I like to dress I do not go "out" and do not want to go out, so appearance when dressed is no concern. I do, however, want to continue to look formidable as a man as that's what I am and how I spend most my time.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

I'm forced to look and act like a man most of the time, but I am done with it. As soon as I can, I plan to begin my transition to womanhood.

[lizzasmall]

I would love a bigger butt and smaller waist. I am really thin already 5'9" 125lbs. Thin arms and legs and often told I have bird legs or chicken leg. Very painful comments!

[lizzasmall]

I guess better thing to say would be a more defined waist in relation to rib cage and hip ratio

[shelley johnson]

I would love to have a smaller waist. It would make everything fit much better.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

I already have a decent-sized butt (no pics of it; sorry), but a smaller waist would be awesome. Plus, I need much narrower-around thighs (chafing is so painful in the heat!) I don't have boobs, so that is an obvious problem. Also, I want much fuller lips.

[Tami Monroe]

Yes... Yes, I do.

[VAWyman]

Maybe not the full feminine figure, but I would love to lose my spare tire and have narrower shoulders

[Candice Mae]

70 replies and counting, I knew this was a hot topic issue. I do agree that the majority of CDs only want to loose weight and muscle mass/tone there is nothing wrong with that. But the ones that take it to the dangerous area in self medicating is the reason that I made this topic. I didn't feel comfortable talking about it in my first post because I didn't want to put ideas in someones head. Changing your bodies homonal balance just for the purpose of CDing is when you should start seeing a theropist.

I like my body, I still have a hatred for my hands and I'm trying to slim down my legs. But its gotten to a point where its hard to look masculine and if your a regular CD its not something you should strive for if your just a CD.

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u498/crystal8812/12_zps7a113406.jpg

[luizapink]

i don´t know!!! sometimes i believe i do, sometimes i don´t...i´m very confused!!

[Pink Susan]

Probably one area I'm quite fortunate , and to think years ago at school etc , I would get teased about my "Girly" looks , and hate it , wishing I was more "manly"

Not now of course , I love my soft body , natural breasts ,feminine bottom no adams apple ,lack of strong jawline, weak beard growth etc ..oh and no muscles either thankfully .

[Daisy41]

But its gotten to a point where its hard to look masculine and if your a regular CD its not something you should strive for if your just a CD.

Obviously the key difference with your case is hormonal differences in your body. I got to where I am through diet and exercise and I've ended up with atypical male proportions (my hips are wider than my chest - I actually fit some female size charts). I know I know, I'm not a typical CD'er either, but the point I wanted to make that having the desire to have a body that leans more towards a feminine physique doesn't necessarily mean you lose your ability to present male. I'm able to appear as a female without any kind of padding or hormones and all I've done is have a good diet and lots of exercise. Would it be harder for me to appear overtly masculine? Absolutely, but no one has ever mistaken me for a woman while presenting male. Clothing and makeup can do wonders.

[noeleena]

Hi.

For my self im very happy with my weight shape and body size and its been that way for over 40 years, a number of reasons for this. I looked after myself, no drugs or drink was allways fit as a gymnast and bike rideing plus working in the heavy building trades, food was importaint as to how much I needed not the I can eat anything.

My body is as close to other females of age size and shape , apart from a few miner details , im happy with how I look , there has allways been a detail with my body in as much with my strength being very strong yet no muscle mass as many men have,

though I know many women have similer body mass though not allways the same strength I have, though they have a bigger bone structure and carry more weight,

I don't need a more feminine body look as I have enough now face is of cause another matter though not a concern to who I am ; as im accepted very well for who I am not how I look.

...noeleena...

[amander-]

Hi to one and all.
i am in my 50s and in the last 7 year,s i have been dressing as a women and i am on hormones for 3 year,s and i do feel a lot happy in my self. My look,s are there, i have to be happy and that is me,

i say if you do not like the way i look tuff luck so if you have a problem with that go and jump.

[Daisy41]

i say if you do not like the way i look tuff luck so if you have a problem with that go and jump.

I take serious offense to this. I didn't like the way I looked at 250lbs and I was convinced that it was "tough luck". Body acceptance is one thing but refusing to believe you can't do anything about it is incredibly toxic. There's some things you can't change but there's a lot more you can change. I also can't believe you have the grapes to tell us "tough luck" for not liking our bodies but then you admit to being on hormone for 3 years which changes your body.

Edit: I'll leave the original post and admit I misread what you had said amander. I mistook "jump" as in "jump off a cliff" not "jump rope". In that regard I whole-heartedly agree that if you want a change you need to get active about it. It's not easy, at all, but well worth the benefits.

[Ressie]

I think amander meant to jump rope as a way to get aerobic exercise. :doh:

[sometimes_miss]

Unfortunately, Isha is right. Unless you're blessed with a feminine body, or at least some feminine features, you're stuck with a male body without HRT.
And even with HRT, there are some things that will not go away. Decades of physical training make the shoulders wide, and until you're emaciated the muscles simply are not going away. Tree trunk legs are the same; they will never be long and slender as a pretty womans' are. Facial bone structure can only be changed just so much, at some point, reconstructive surgery can only go so far (huge heads simply are not feminine). Top it all off with a barrel chest, and you can kiss femininity goodbye.

[Kitty215]

Candice, I agree that self medicating could be dangerous and would think that would be more prevalent in transgendered people vs CDers. We all want to be able to appear to be feminine, the hard part is trying to figure out how much time you wish to spend that way. If you only dress occasionally a more feminine physique is probably not your best option.

[Nikki 1984]

Yes! I wish I had a narrower waist and shouldurs. It would be nice to have a more feminine body. I wish my feet were smaller. I would like to loose 20lbs. I'm very thankful to have a rather feminine face. It's round with no hard masculine features. I also have arched eyebrows which helps. My hands are somewhat feminine. My atoms apple doesn't show up at all.

Take care, Nikki

[latex-steph]

This is something that I've been in conflict with recently. I have a slender build and wider then normal male hips so I can look what I consider 'decent' in a dress without padding. However, as I've gotten more into dressing in the last few months, the desire to want to be a hot girl sometime is extremely strong. However, I also have a very confident male personality when not dressed on a average Friday night and love the attention I get from girls when I've been working out the standard guy muscles. I might try concentrating on my abs and lower body for a bit for a few weeks just to see what I can do, but I am honestly torn between both directions. I guess that's the downside of having two sides :P

[me]

Sadly, until I am a biological transformer, it will be bad either way. You can't really have both... :(

[lucy_miller]

If it were to move along the continuum I'd prefer it to be towards a feminine shape. I'm not unhappy with the starting point, a lifetime of ultra running has left me a thin to gaunt look as a male (6 ft but only 135 pounds). However i still have broader shoulders than a RG would have. I did once read a post about shoulder blades pushing back and down which was surprisingly effective, especially when combined with a dress that has a full shirt to balance the width of your shoulders and when combined with a corset, padding and forms I can get a very feminine shape from the neck down. Shame about the Adam's apple and the male looking features. My one pet hate of my male look is forearm hair so I always epilate it away.

I will post the shoulder tips for others who want to read it below, you need to thank Elleanor from Scotland for this tip:
Female shoulders are narrower partly to do with the size of the rib cage, partly relating to shorter clavicle length and the appearance is accentuated by slightly narrower carrying angle and rounder sloped shoulders. Much of this can be mimicked by learning to pull the tips of the scapula (shoulder blade) down and flat to the back, this slides the whole shoulder structure back and closer together. It also decreases the carrying angle due to externally rotating the shoulder joint and effectively lowers the elbow, giving the impression of the female shoulder. This is a matter of posture so takes a bit of practice, the muscles used are about half way down the back either side of the midline, pulling the shoulder blade in and down - can be felt by sitting or standing against a hard chair or wall and feeling the shoulder blades go flat. Another way to find the right muscles is to hold a spring door open pushing out with the elbow and forearm while the upper arm is held near vertical - you can do this with a proper physioRx elastic as well by looping it round a stair upright and externally rotating the shoulder - but I doubt many people will have one of these. The key is that you are not rolling the shoulders back, rather you are pulling them in using the back muscles - so it's important not just to pull the shoulder blades together by hunching up your shoulders - you need to keep your shoulders pulled down AND pull them together at the back. Ok it's not easy, and I did have a physio teach me how to do this, but once established as a posture, it's actually rather good for your back. It's easy enough to confirm with a video camera or stills the effect if you wish.

[Jordan]

I would love to have more of a feminine physic. It would be worth it to me as the clothes would just fit better

[JocelynRenee]

On a practical level I say yes! The desert heat, breast forms, and hip padding aren't compatible.

On an emotional level I say a firm sometime. I would love to have female proportionate shoulders-waist-hips. Breasts? Absolutely! The problem is that I then expend a significant amount of time and energy masking these changes - sort of the opposite of what I do now, ironically enough.

In so many ways I am truly in the middle of the gender spectrum. Over the years I have moved from 90% male/10% female to 50/50. Lately I feel the balance tipping to the other side; perhaps 45/55 these days. The big question for me is: "Will the trend continue?"

[Melissa_59]

I would be thrilled if I could get rid of my excess body hair and facial hair for good. Shaving body hair every day (my body hair grows insanely fast, unlike the hair on top of my head which grows almost not at all - and what's up with that??? :D ) is irritating regardless of what I use, and I have to use Tend Skin over most of my chest and stomach because of the bumps that form. My facial hair - well, I'm used to that, and maybe so is my skin. I don't get irritations as often but my beard grows fast and regardless of what I do it starts to show in a couple of hours. I really hate that. As for having softer curves and breasts... well, in a dream world, but if I was going that far I'd just transition... and I can't see myself doing that.

I've never tried waxing, some folks say that it works really well. Maybe I should give it a whirl and dang the pain.

~Mel

[RuthWilson]

Me too, exactly.Ruth

[Tina_gm]

I would be happy if I had a more feminine physique, and a more masculine one as well....

[HipHugger]

Personally, I don't. But that's me.

Aside from that, if any of you are familiar with the comedian Eddie Izzard, I have long wondered how he manages to look so different in his boy and girl modes. Last couple years he's been performing in (according to him) boy mode only, but prior to that, all his stand up he was fully in girl mode. It wasn't until several years after I'd seen him as a comedian did I realize I'd also seen him in several films - usually as a pretty butch kind of guy. I assume there's a little bit of Hollywood magic involved to achieve certain characters, but think most of it is just him. What's his secret?

[Dianne S]

I would like some changes. Specifically, I'd like to get rid of male facial and body hair, and also make my head hair have less of a male pattern.

I *think* I would like breasts and wider hips, though those could get impractical when presenting as male, so for now I can live with breast forms and hip padding. Also, my wife doesn't fancy the idea of me with breasts.

Really, the biggie is facial hair which I'm treating with laser.

[Kari_B]

Yes I would like a more feminine body. I have a few good points, no Adams apple, and a Not very hairy Body, full head of hair and I'm short 5"4". But a mans shoulders and hips.

[Ashley Wray]

You look absolutely beautiful Candice!

[Badwolf]

See for me the bigger problem with it isn't presentation as male (I don't mind what people thing), but it is children and other side effects.

I really do want a much more female form, partially because as much as you say it's hard to hide, other than large breasts, most of it actually isn't terribly hard to work into the "norm" for boys especially once bones fuse and the hips won't widen.