Stressed out but trying to relax.

[BrookCD]

So this past month and a half has been a whirl wind of crazy stress. As I posted before I lost my wife to breast cancer on May 10th. Since then I have been back to work only 4 days the rest have been spent with the kids, and sadly of those 4 days 3 of them the boys came with me and were watched by my chiefs wife as I worked bike patrol duty for a big event going on. It has been difficult to find child care that is affordable and until I have pension numbers and stuff I cant apply for assistance with it. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but having been with them almost 24/7 for the last 6 weeks, I need a break. On top of that my wife's family started a bunch of drama that has kept them from seeing the kids and as of Tuesday could be causing more issues with me trying to get all my wife's benefits etc in order. It will all get dealt with and my attorneys are amazing and think I will come out on top of the mess and be able to provide for my kids no problem.

I have been trying to relax. I did dump one huge stressor in my life which was a rental property that had been an albatross since day one of renting it out. We had accepted an offer the day before my wife passed and then I had to go through probate court because we had purchased it before we were married. So yesterday was the close ( I wore a nice pare of white silky panties under my suit) and it is officially gone. I was a naughty girl and took advantage of FOH's 7 for $25 sale and spoiled my self getting some new panties and a new pair of heals. They are set to be delivered today and I am excited. I have also been dressing as much as I can. I need to hid it form the kids so itis usually after they go to sleep or under dress. I have been wearing panties almost all day for the past few days and it is quite nice. I have been sleeping in one of my nightgowns ( which my wife would never let me do) and now am sitting here typing in my night gown and silky robe, drinking my coffee and trying to relax. I spent about 2 hours last night chatting with my sister on line, while sitting by the fire pit in my back yard, about everything from heals to jewelery to dresses. It was nice. I have been dropping hints to so of my family to see if some one will watch the kids for a weekend so I can escape alone for a day or two. Who knows maybe get a chance to dress for a whole weekend.

Well sorry for rambling on. Hope you can enjoy your days. I should get some lunch made for the mutants.

[Alice B]

First of all I am sorry for your loss. It sucks. I understand the stress and all the difficulty involved in getting affairs and estates in order. It just takes time, but hang in there. It will get better and having a good attorney helps a lot. Maybe it's time to tell all the in laws to back off. I wish you well.

[Vala]

That sounds so sad. I wish you much luck and hope you can relax a weekend long soon, you deserve it.

[Katey888]

Likewise you have my belated condolences too... any loss is awful but to lose a partner that way has to be shattering... :hugs:

But your kids are providing a distraction, perhaps just too intensively - which probably isn't surprising, given what they and you have been through, but at some stage you will have to get some balance back in your life... seems like you are on the way towards that, at least... :)

It's so important to ensure you get some 'me' time and keep some variety in what you do... I wish you luck with that - it may take a concerted effort from you to get other folk supporting you - while I'm not pretending to be in the same situation you're in, I know what it's like to have someone who is dependent on you and how hard it is to take time off for yourself... I haven't been able to take some time off for me in more than 18 months... I know I should - I know I need it - but it's so hard to do... so be sure you do! :)

Good luck with everything - I hope it goes well... :bighug:

Katey x

[emily606]

Dear Brook,

God Bless your wife and you and your children. I hope that you are blessed with loving memories of her.

Emily

[Emi_]

Condolences and prayers. <3

I just wanted to point out that all the dressing you are doing is normal in this kind of a situation for many cross-dressers. Cross-dressing can provide us with relief when we are stressed. My wife notes that I cross-dress or do more gender-related activities when I am stressed. You need to de-compress and regain your center-of-balance again. That is not to say that your cross-dressing is bad or wrong, but your overall story reveals an understandable amount of stress for you to work through.

We all must pass through our mourning in our own ways. For everyone who is struggling with thing in their lives, please just remember to look after yourselves and your loved ones and be healthy.

[Beverley Sims]

Brook,
The hard times you are experiencing at the moment will pass.
In the meantime do not come out to others or do something rash whilst you are in this frame of mind.
Yes, dress privately like you always do and keep a clear head for now.
I wish you well.