Like it or not

[Kate Simmons]

I notice that many times on here many of us seem to be "asking permission" of society or whoever to be allowed to express ourselves and crossdress. Since when do we have to ask anyone permission to be ourselves? I understand when in a committed relationship it may be appropriate to come to some terms when expressing ourselves but is it logical to think that is going to curb who we are? Despite compromises with loved ones we are most likely going to figure out how to do it somehow, some way. This is how many of us get into trouble with our SO's as we sometimes have to resort to deception and manipulating things in order to carry on. It is indeed a powerful compulsion this process of crossdressing. Like any process, however, if left without direction it will take on a mind of it's own and lead us around. The only way I have found over the years to "beat" it is to make it a total choice to do rather than let it remain a compulsion. We also need to take ownership of it and take all responsibility for what we do.

That being the case I have become my own person and while I don't broadcast to everyone what I do, I'm not ashamed of it either, as if it makes me a lesser man, it doesn't. The bottom line is that like it or not, this is who I am and if others can't deal with that--oh well! I can handle the fact that it works for me even if it doesn't work for them. There is no such thing as a perfect world so the best thing we can do is utilize the one we have to our advantage. That is one way we learn.Like it or not, we are all who we are for a reason.:)

[Desirae]

All very good sentiments, I must say. I agree with all of it. It's easier said than done for a lot of us, though, myself included.

[Emi_]

Very nice thoughts, but not really a reality for a lot of people. I have learned that it is one thing not to care about what others think about us and another to not care about how they feel. Sure, I don't give a flying fungus who knows or finds out but that doesn't mean that I disregard the hurt and pain I might cause them. I don't promote myself as trans* and I don't deny that I am trans*; I also don't just throw myself in everyone's face and dare them not to accept me as if I have some sacred duty. We all have to live in this world together and it is incumbent upon us to be good and responsible people just like we want others to treat us well and responsibly.

The frustration of living in a society that limits us by it's prejudice and ignorance can be maddening. The revolution must be carefully thought out and the consequences must be understood and acceptable to all. I am not ready to join any cross-dressers army - we really don't all see eye-to-eye in our own circles so I certainly don't believe we would be any truly united front.

[Marcelle]

Hi Kate . . . I feel similar to you in that I am not ashamed of what I do but I won't go out my way to announce to the world that I am TG. However when I am out "en femme" that is my choice and I just go about my day the same way I would if I were "en boy" (with the exception of a few social experiments I have run for my own growth). My wife and I have agreed that dressing is my decision and she will help me in any manner she can (make-up, fashion consultant, honest opinion). I will let her know when I am planning an Isha day not for permission but so we can work out the logistics of who takes which car that day and where we can meet up later.

Hugs

Isha

[RADER]

Kate:
I agree with you, however Society just does not believe that a man wearing a dress
is a just and righteous thing to do. Yes I do what I want to around the house, but
to leave the friendly confines of my humble abode in a dress; well lets say it is still
a dream yet to come true.
Rader

[Jaymees22]

I don't think we have to ask permission to be ourselves, but we should be aware of how we are perceived by others. In other words be aware of others feelings and be safe too. Jaymee

[Beverley Sims]

Well I dress and go with the flow varying my activities by circumstance and environment.

[JamieTG]

My thoughts exactly Kate. For me, the process of self acceptance took many years and many purges. I don't force it on anybody, but I'm not going to be ashamed of it either. There has to be a good reason why everybody has something different about them so I'm done beating myself up about it.

[CrossJess]

I have massive respect for anyone who is them selves and says it like it is, i think cds that go out in public deserve respect because it speaks volumes about the person and these are the kind of folk i want to know.

Ive been crossdressing since i was 6, ok i dont wear dresses but i clearly look like a guy dressing fem but thats the look im after, lol i think im the only guy in our town that wears a bright pink hair bows in public haha, but in the past ive been spat on called many names and even been put in hospital just for me being me but i still carry on because its who i am and i dont see why i should change because some dont agree with me and what i wear, i keep my self to my self always have its not like i shout from the roof tops "hey everyone look at me im a raging homo who likes to dress even more like a fag woohoo!" no i dont ok ok i may talk about my bf a lot but like anyone in a loving relationship who loves thier partner so much and for which your partner is really good to you you are naturally going to talk about them, see im like marmite you either like me or hate me, i just glad that times are a little easyer now because the new age generation are getting more and more excepting ive cetainly noticed a change now and its a good thing, its a great shame that some folk take it upon them selves to make our lives hell i mean why they do this i dont know....is it that they are harbouring these feelings too or just dont know how to deal with a cd, gay person etc so they lash out to make them selves feel better, ill never work people out, i just hope i can live the rest of my life happy and not live in fear of whats waiting around the corner for me

[NicoleScott]

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.