Coming out

[Ellieboy3]

I need your help and advice. Ive been crossdressing for a couple years now. I'm ashamed to admit it but, I've been taking cloths from my friends moms and sisters. I've been hiding the cloths in several places around my house and my parents keep finding it. I've been trying to get better about it but is hard to fight the temptation. I want to ask my mom if I can get some cloths of my own to wear around my house but I don't know what to do. Please help me. I don't know what to do.

[Adriana Moretti]

they may already know if they keep finding your stash....i live with mom right now too....but i wont tell...not while the rents free...but thats me....from what ive seen most moms are cool...not so sure on dads though....

[Ellieboy3]

I agree, I'd much rather confront my mom

[Lorileah]

I have a suggestion, quit stealing. I don't care if you never tell anyone about yourself, being transgender isn't a crime, you are a thief. Buy your own stuff.

[Kristyn Hill]

I agree with Lorileah, you have to quit stealing other peoples things. No good and you have to feel horrible about it. If you are old enough and able to work then work and buy your own things via ebay, the mall, anywhere but being a rat thief. Nobody likes a thief in the mix.

[Ellieboy3]

As I said, I'm ashamed of it. I didn't post this to look for criticism, but, for help and advice about talking to my mom about getting some of my own cloths so I don't have to continue the horrible path I'm taking

[arbon]

How do you think she will react if you ask her?

We don't know her so giving any advice is really impossible. But if you think she would be receptive then try.

[Ellieboy3]

She might have mixed emotions. I just don't know how to ask. Do you have any ideas?

[Jenniferathome]

She might have mixed emotions. I just don't know how to ask. Do you have any ideas?

the truth is always a good place to start. You don;t have to remember the truth, it just is. "Mom, you probably know that I like to occasionally wear women's clothes. I don't want to hide this from you any more. Can we talk about it?"

[Ellieboy3]

Thanks a lot. It's very much appreciated

[Saepe]

It might make it "easier" if they catch you in the act. That's how I came out to my dad recently, although it was by accident.

[typhoidmary]

I agree that you should tell her, it's clear keeping it to yourself so long has taken you down a bad path and it will probably only get worse. obviously stealing is bad and you shouldn't do it, but at least you recognise that and you're in a position to do something about it. I hope it goes well for you, if you decide that's what you should do.

[Emi_]

Talking to our parent's and loved ones is perhaps the most difficult thing in the world. There is so much expectation that we don't want to disappoint them or be shunned by them. I choked over and over trying to tell my parents about me and it was insanely awkward when I finally did find the courage. My wife knows and is 100% on board with it, but I still feel funny when I talk about it with her or shop for some girly thing when we're together. These people are invested in us and we don't want to hurt them because it would mean also hurting ourselves.

It sounds like you've already approached the subject - mostly out of carelessness - through your actions and maybe this may be a good point in time to begin the conversation. I know that it will not be easy no matter how well it goes. These are not simple or easy matters.

What I can advise you, however, as others have said, is that you quit stealing other people's things. Stealing is just wrong, no matter the reason. I admit that I did it too - the compulsion was just too great. What I'll add is that the first time my parents confronted me about it they were not upset about me being a cross-dresser; they were angry because I was a thief. Likewise, my wife wasn't upset about me cross-dressing; she hated that I lied to her about it and we have strict rules that no one uses anyone else's clothes without asking permission first.

No, it's not going to be easy. It is probably necessary and the stealing has to stop.

[Marcelle]

Hi Ellie . . . well the advice given is spot on. However only you know your mom and how she is likely to react. If you thinks she will be receptive and I am guessing she may already have an inkling due to finding women's clothes around the house, then I say it might be a good time to discuss it with her. I do have one question, you said "your parents" found your clothes so I am assuming you dad is in the picture. Are you planning to tell both your parents or just your mom. I ask because you mentioned wanting to wear clothes around the house.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

the truth is always a good place to start. You don;t have to remember the truth, it just is. "Mom, you probably know that I like to occasionally wear women's clothes. I don't want to hide this from you any more. Can we talk about it?"

What she said.

And even though you didn't come here for criticism and feel awful about it...please heed the advice of those who admonished you to quit stealing.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Wash cloths? Table cloths? In any case - stop stealing clothes. Nobody will be sympathetic to you if you get caught stealing.

Deedee

[wilt575]

It's obvious she knows if they keep finding you hiding place. If your close to you sister talk with her, she may tell you if mom knows and help you come out to mom. Tell mom your tired of stealing and want be honest, could she help you get some clothes of your own. Just a few things, not a huge wardrobe. As Isha said where is your dad in the picture? P.S. mom's can be very understanding and loving no matter what!

[Desirae]

The one thing that MOST people here, who tell you to quit stealing, neglect to tell you is that most of us have done exactly the same thing as you are doing now. Yes, you need to stop stealing your mom's and sister's clothing. You sound like you're young and, like I said, it isn't anything that most of us haven't done, also. There comes a time when most of us realize that taking other people's clothing, or even just "using" other people's clothing, is a huge violation of those person's privacy. How would you like it if your brother stole your underwear and wore it? You need to figure out a way to get your own somehow. Go to another end of town and visit a second hand store or something. Take the bus if you have to or ride your bike.

As far as telling your mom, you need to "feel" her out a bit first. You know her better than we do. How do you think she would take news like that? Don't put yourself in a predicament where you could be kicked out of the house. Figure out a clever way to gauge how she might react before you say anything.

Good luck.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ellie, Can you just imagine what's going to happen if you get caught.

[Jodi]

To register for this MB, you have to be 18 yrs of age. Therefore, you are an adult. It's time you begin acting like one. Theft is theft and you will be tried as an adult.

It's time that you grow up.

Jodi

[Teresa]

Ellieboy,
First question you first started Cding at 16 but nothing before that ? What is you CDing based on , sexual or otherwise ?
If it's sexual ,you now see it as stealing but at the time did you see it as something different ? I know it's very difficult to admit to the people you've taken from that you're sorry and wish to return the things.
I'm not going to give you a hard time about stealing because you admit it's wrong !
Before you ask your mum about getting clothes try and get a few answers together before she asks why you want them, I know it's not easy because the whole thing is confusing ! Is your mum the best person to ask or would your sister help you ? Depending on her age she may offer you some of her stuff once you've brought the subject up.

I started at nine, I didn't intentionally steal stuff but ended up burning things because I'd soiled them so much !

[reb.femme]

I have a suggestion, quit stealing. I don't care if you never tell anyone about yourself, being transgender isn't a crime, you are a thief. Buy your own stuff.

In a nutshell as they say. To quote a UK saying, "harsh but fair". Your only concern is how well will your mum take the big reveal? Mine was a rigid, unsympathetic old c*w and would have kicked me out, so be prepared for that worst case scenario too!

Rebecca

[Deedee Skyblue]

The one thing that MOST people here, who tell you to quit stealing, neglect to tell you is that most of us have done exactly the same thing as you are doing now.

You don't know that most of us stole other people's clothes. I doubt if MOST of us stole anything. I think probably most of us have tried on someone else's clothes, but actually stealing them? Big difference. Please don't make generalizations about MOST of us that cast MOST of us into a bad light.

Deedee who never stole anyone's clothes

[Saepe]

Eh, I've stolen a lot. I was craven and poor. It feels a lot better buying your own stuff, for multiple reasons.

I can't in good conscience support or endorse theft, but I empathize with it to some degree.

[Beverley Sims]

It sounds like someone knows, I would ask your mother and seek her advice.
Fathers are not as forgiving usually.