The Name....Its a Big Deal!

[Aly Cat]

How many of you have struggled with your name change? Not the legal process of changing your name, but the actual choosing of your name? Originally, I had wanted to be Eva Lynn, but soon after...and after I had created my account on this site....I had found out that Eva Lynn was the name of a relatively famous porn star. That totally ruined it for me. I hate the porn industry and am totally not into that sort of thing so I decided to change the name I had chosen. I had decided on Kelly Ava to keep my initials the same, but after much debate in my head and throwing the idea of Kelly Ava around, I actually came to the conclusion that that name doesnt really fit me very well. While I do love the name, it just doesnt fit ME. So I decided to start looking at other names. I may have decided on one so I have asked my roommates to start calling me that to see if it feels right. Im only going to legally change my name once (unless of course I get married again ;) ) so I want to make sure it is a name that not only fits my personality, but fits me completely. I am tossing the idea of Alyson around and going by Aly. It is close to my male name in the vowel sound and therefore feels more natural and comfortable. Its all still undecided though. I have planned to do the legal name change at the first of the year for tax purposes and new beginnings but Im still kicking the tires and deciding if the name is right for me.

What about you ladies? have any of you been in the same boat? How did you approach the name change and how did you know it was "the one"? I still need to work on a first name. I have always gone by my middle name and Id like to still keep my initials the same which means I need to find a first name beginning with a "K" that goes well with Alyson. Suggestions on that are welcome along with how you all went about picking your names!

[StephanieC]

I really did not think much about the name. I picked the feminine version of the name of my little baby brother that died during birth. I carried the tiny casket at his funeral.

For me, it was the only choice.

[Jenessa]

mine was given to me by an ex girlfriend about 25ish years ago.

[whowhatwhen]

I took my name from a side character that was in a single episode of Seinfeld.
It could change though, lots of time before I have to worry about name changes legal or otherwise.

[Anne2345]

My name - Anne Kelly - just feels right to me. Plus, I also really like how it sounds. There was no struggle, no back and forth, and no waffling. It just was all like - BAM - there it was, all out of nowhere and stuff. It's the only femme name I have ever used, and I am much too personally invested in it now to ever change it. But if there was any special *reason* for choosing this name, the reason exists only within the inaccessible nether-regions of my subconscious.

[Donna Joanne]

I too kept my same initials, and have always 'felt' comfortable as Donna Jo. Like Anne, it just "feels right to me". Alyson is a very lovely name, but it will be a challenge to find a "K" name that goes with it. Alyson Kay or Kaye is a combo that "sings" if you might consider that. Good luck.

[PretzelGirl]

I have no memory of picking Sue. It has always been in the back of my mind. I recently told my sister and she said that if I was a girl, I was suppose to be Susan. So maybe I was told when I was little and it stuck in the back of my mind. So, at one point I needed to write out a middle name and Sue Ann flowed naturally. Strangely enough, as a matter of luck, my initials stayed the same. My last name will remain the same also and it isn't Leighton. Leighton is my paternal grandmother's maiden name.

K names. Hmmm.. Kaitlyn (or Kaitlin) Alyson. Keri Alyson.

[Aly Cat]

Ohhhh....keri would be BAD! That's my ex wife's name >.<
Kaitlin would be good though. I'll have to think on that one!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I used to call myself Michele...those were my "crossdressing" days... i actually love that name but it just didn't feel right to me for some reason when i decided to transition, i wanted to leave my "cd" name behind me... but in the end i took it as my middle name... i kept my initials the same...kmm...

its a highly personal matter and i can imagine that many of us thought about it a lot.

[Xrys]

My name came from a mix of things. I was told, had I been born a girl, I would have been named Krysten. When my aunt and uncle had their girl, they chose to use it. I don't want to use that name because you cant 'taksie backies' a name, but i want something similar.

My first introduction to a person who changed sex was when i read the 'Mag Force Seven' novels. The main charecter was named Xris (pronounced Chris)

I also wanted that sounded elegant so i took Kristen, replased the K with an X, and then tweeked it at the end to end up with Xrystiana, or Xrys for short.

My middle name is Ray. I thought about just changing the spelling to Rae, but it didn't seem to match with Xrystiana, so I decided on Renae, which is close enough. It just sounded and felt right, so there it is.

As for K names, i have been a bit partial to Katherine ot Kathleen. Oh, and if you put Allison as your first name, you could be Aly Kat for short. :-P

[Suzanne F]

I have no idea where Suzanne came from. It just came out of my mouth and it was right. It fits my style and personality I believe.
I like Kimberly Alyson! I also need help with a name. Either a middle name for Suzanne or a first name while using Suzanne as my main name. Any suggestions would be appreciated! My last name is Ford.

Suzanne

[Angela Campbell]

There were lots of things I was concerned with at the time I was making the decision.

First, I wanted to make sure I didn't use a name someone else in my family had. Not that having two with the same first name is bad but in case it was offensive to anyone. I still had not come out to everyone and had no idea how anyone would react, so I wanted to be careful.

Next I wanted a clean break from my male life so no feminized version of my birth name was going to work for me. Had to be something new.

So I had a few months of discussions with my Mother and one of my daughters. I chose my paternal grandmothers maiden name for my last name since there was no one in that line I knew or knew of. My Mother named me after an Angel originally so we came up with a version of that. So I had a first name and a last name, the middle one was the hard part. We talked every day or so for months looking for something that kind of rolls with the other two and that we all liked. I chose Angela Robyn Campbell.

[Jorja]

Let's see now, how did that go? The name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on. No, that was for your stripper name. Who cares if Eva Lynn was a porn star. Wayne Williams was a serial killer and several others have that name and get on with life without any problems. If you like your current name go with it.

[BOBBI G.]

Eva,
I have been working on a name that will be my formal, legal name for quite a while. I knew I wanted to be called Bobbi, as my birth name is Robert (in honor of my dad's middle name.) My daughters name was Erica (one of my middle names is Eric), last name will stay as is. And even though is will not flow off the tongue, my name will end Erica Bobbi Gruetter, first name in honor of my daughter, the rest already explained. Daily signature an adaptation of legal name, but I will be called Bobbi (Love it)

Bobbi

[Kimberly Kael]

I found the process of naming myself to be utterly fascinating, presumably something like naming a child you've known all your life. I had been using the name Kimberly informally for decades and I already knew it wasn't right for me. It seemed a little too forced, and I'm not fond of being called Kim. If you have a name with more than a syllable or two it seems everyone will feel compelled to abbreviate it, so I learned from that experience.

When it came time to pick a legal name I did a ton of research. I collected statistics on names given to children the year of my birth, so that it would sound plausible for someone my age. I looked at the popularity of the name over time to make sure it didn't completely fall out of favor. I looked for family connections and found several possibilities. For whatever reason I didn't feel compelled to keep my initials, but instead I sought a name that shared a strong common sound that helped people feel comfortable with the transition even though they'd never consciously identify the names as similar. I drew from fiction and reality those names that seemed both strong and feminine, researching the meaning of names that were initially appealing. I practiced signing my proposed name to make sure it looked right to me. Above all, I conferred with my wife about what seemed to suit me.

I very much enjoyed the process and the results. I hope you're able to get as much joy out of your own search!

[Rianna Humble]

You can probably find the story of my name a number of times on these forums. On my way home from work one night, I was thinking about my name. I wanted to keep the same initials because I have a monogrammed briefcase but I also wanted to change my name completely partly to make a break with my past life and partly in an unsuccessful attempt to avoid too much publicity.

Thinking of 1st names starting with R, I immediately rejected the clichéd Renée, I did not feel like a Rosemary, Rachael or Ruth. Then suddenly a thought came into my mind that my name was Rianna. I looked the name up when I got home, but it semed such a good fit that I adopted it. My last name came the same way as the first, so I became Rianna Humble.

My middle name was more problematic, I had a few options and was having difficulty choosing, so I asked a number of friends which they felt suited me most and thus it was that I became Rianna Joyce Humble.

[dreamer_2.0]

I've struggled in this area too! Just can't pick as I love too many names and don't really know my girl side completely yet. Curse indecisiveness!

[Aly Cat]

My roommate is Greek and is insistent that I have a Greek name. (I am not Greek btw lol). She loves the Aly Kat theme but thinks it should have Greek origins so she suggested Aliyah Catalina. It is a very pretty name. I guess time will tell. I'll keep running all these options through my head and go with what is most comfortable and what fits me.

Edit: If I take the h off of Aliyah, Aliya Catalina means to ascend to purity. I really like that one!

[Angela Campbell]

yeah that is the really good thing, how many people get to decide their own name?

[Lorileah]

I have been LoriLee, LoriLeah (actually my preferred name), it has been shortened to just Lori. Then I thought I needed a last name so I chose Monet as an anagram of my male name...but now have decided to use my real last name when I do change because I owe it to my ancestors. I am thinking Monet may be a middle name now

[Rachel Smith]

I had a tg friend that at the time I had only talked with on the puter, she was from FL. This was way back when I had first started going out as a girl to cd parties. When I told her I was going to my first cd party she said then you will need a female name. I ask her what she thought fit me her reply was we have talked a lot and you come off as a Rachel to me and so it was Rachel was born. I used my Mother's middle name as my middle name thus Rachel Elaine was born. I kept the same last name.

[Aly Cat]

It's so interesting how everyone has come up with their names. Everyone's got a different story. It's something so personal and unique. I love it!

[Sue Too]

Ah, decisions, decisions!

I'm going to be going thru the legal name change process before the end of the year. I've been Susan for a number of years and I will continue to be Susan. Will is going away as are many of my behaviors from my CD days. If people choose to shorten the name Susan to Sue or Suzi I have not problem with this, either. Susan came from a long time ago in my life. There was a cute little neighbor girl that I had a terrible crush on. Nothing ever developed but her name has stayed with me for many years. Being Susan just seems like a natural thing for me. My chosen middle name comes from my mothers family name thus I will become Susan McKenzie XXXXXXXX. I will retain my present family name out of respect to my family.

My choice came rather quickly. Things just fell into place.

I guess some creative genius could call me Suzi Mac if they wanted to <<giggle>>

Susan in Phoenix (Boy is it a dry heat!)

PS Eva, you are a very beautiful girl. Good luck in your journey

[LeaP]

It's odd to have control of your name, when you think about it. When you get one at birth, you may or may not like it, but people mostly don't change them. They just live with it. There are a few lucky people with horrendous names who get good nicknames that stick. Others get stuck with horrible nicknames! Most people either go formal or informal (nickname or not), or choose between first and middle. That's all, she wrote!

I thought a long time about names. Mine is a feminized adaptation of one part of one possible nickname for my given name. Complicated, but there's a reason for it that I won't bother to go into here. I only considered one other name prior to that. But even with "Lea," I still find myself with a point or two of ambiguity. I started out pronouncing it "Lee." But a number of people pronounce it "Lee-ah." In fact, most of the PMs I get usually spell my name Leah, even when I had a bright pink signature line with the correct spelling! I don't like the "Lay-ah" pronunciation at all, but no one seems to go there anyway. Over time I have come to where I like the "Leah" at least as much as the "Lee." Not sure what – if anything – that I will do about it. I could keep the existing spelling and use one, the other, or both. Or I could change the spelling, which would lock it in.

And then there is the question of a middle name. I have a non-gendered middle name. A family last name, as opposed to one that is a personal name for males or females. I suppose I could keep it, but I have no particular attachment to it. It's odd these days not to have any middle name, but that's one option. It's hard to come up with something you like and that flows. And don't ignore initials! Were Anne's last name to begin with "A" for example, she would wind up with "AKA" - particularly punny as she's a lawyer ...

So in answer to the OP, yeah, it's sort of a struggle.

[Cheyenne Skye]

For starters, I knew I wanted to keep my initials the same. So I started looking up names starting with "D" to see if anything popped. Same for my middle initial "A". I made a list of the top 5 of each that I liked. Then I started mixing them together until one just felt right. I ended up with Dana Ashleigh. I have a cousin on my mother's side named Dana but I haven't seen her since early childhood, so I don't think it had any bearing on my choice. I also thought that having a more gender neutral name, people would have no problem with my name whether they saw me as female of not. That may have backfired on me though. Since coming out at work, my coworkers have pretty well adapted to the name change, but I'll be damned if they can get the pronouns right.:Angry3:Through it all I never even considered changing my last name.

[KellyJameson]

I kept my first name "Kelly" because it is my mothers maiden name and why they gave it to me but I changed my middle name to Katherine.

At my new place of employment everyone uses Katherine to address me.

I do feel more like a Katherine than a Kelly if that makes any sense but I'm comfortable with either.

All the changes with transitioning are simply overwhelming and hanging onto the name Kelly was my way of anchoring myself to myself while changing myself but I don't have this need now to the same degree.

My parents and immediate family will always call me Kelly and I think it makes things easier for them but yet also harder because of the history attached to the name.

Names are very powerful.

[Dianne S]

I want to keep my inidials. Originally, I was "Dawn" but that just never felt right. "Dianne" fits much better. I will probably choose "Faye" as a middle name, partly to keep my middle initial and partly because my mother told me that's what I'd have been named had I been a girl.

[PretzelGirl]

Now if I had found my father in this same situation, I wouldn't have bothered asking him. His name was Shirley.

[whowhatwhen]

I bet he just loved Airplane!

[AmandaM]

There was a TS who had a website. Her name was Amanda. She was at a bar with girlfriends (she passes very well). Some guy tried to pick her up and she said, "I'm a man, duh". He said, "Hi, Amanda!".

[Rachel292]

I'm Rachel because that was what I was going to be called, according to my mum.
It also helps because if I don't change my last name then my long established signature stays the same.
I've thought about various other last names, because I have lots of W's in my family tree, my Father, Paternal and Maternal Grandmothers all have W names. I have never had a middle name, but I if I do it will probably be my Maternal Grandmother's Names 'Harriett Victoria' so it will probably be Rachel Harriett Victoria W

[Emma Beth]

I don't have any ideas that can help, but here's how I have come up with my top two contenders.

Last year, before I had my epiphany, I was working on a writing exercise and had to ask my Dad this question, "What would my name have been if I had been born a girl?" He told me that if I had been born a girl that he most likely would have named me after his Mother. Her name was Elizabeth. To me that name feels like that cozy blanket that you just won't get rid of. It fits like a glove to a point.

The other name I have been rolling over my tongue shows part of my sense of humor. Only another Trans person can truly appreciate this one simply because we all jump down a similar rabbit hole just to see how deep it is. Yes it's Alice.

I can say that I will use both of them, but I'm having a hard time deciding which one should be my first name and which one my middle name.

Elizabeth Alice

Alice Elizabeth

I like both equally and I have to admit that I have plenty of time to make my final decision. Maybe I should do a poll somewhere on here to find out which way to go when the time comes. Oh well. That's my 2 Cents.

Liz

[Aly Cat]

Personally, I like Elizabeth Alice. It just rolls off the tongue easier. It flows better. You're the one who has to live with it though.
Personally, I am really leaning towards Alya Catalina. I think it sounds beautiful and the meaning is perfect. "Ascend to purity." Since I am moving towards my goal of being pure woman, it just fits well. Alya is Hebrew and Catalina is Greek. I'd go by Aly and if someone wants to give me a pet name, they can call my Aly Cat. Which is totally awesome!

[Aprilrain]

I needed a screen name when I singed up here and April Rain just popped into my head, I had no idea it would become my real name!

[noeleena]

Hi,

I did not wont or need to change my birth name as its both male and female so from noel - no-el to noeleena. and 2nd name Edwina,

My name is about myself and those who know me for who I am starting from my birth and there was a big fight in our home concerning my names,

My so called father of about 5 years wonted to call me mannfried , Von Rechthos, Mom said no and put her foot down and no way so I was called , noel , edward. mannfried , Von Rechthos , Loch-head,

So my two German names would not have gone down well as I was born in 1947. just after the 2nd WW.

...noeleena...

[vikki2020]

"vikki" just kind of evolved with me, and I've used it for a while now. But, now, especially at work---I've been using my "real" name---with a tweek. After years of being "Bob", everyone calls me "Bobbi" now--and uses that in e-mails. So, I've been running with that--and trying to change everything==credit cards, etc. to Bobbi.

[Nigella]

I just feminised my male name. To me it was much simpler as I have transitioned in situ, I think those that knew "him" found it easier to add a little bit to the male name rather than learn a new one.

I honestly did not consider any other female name :)

[Frances]

I had specific criteria for my name. It could not be too exotic, as it does not work in my culture. It had to be bilingual (easy French and English pronunciations) and not too serious. It also had to be completely different from my original name so that people would not make mistakes and use the old one. I don't use it here. It's not a secret, but I don't want it to show up in Internet searches. It's a little tribute to Tula Cossey.

[marsha leanne]

When i first started thinking about a name, Melina came to mind, that was the name chosen had my son been born female. i used that for a while.

It turned out it made me depressed as i always wondered what having a daughter would have been like, so i let it pass. I just left the door open and Marsha stepped in. for what ever reason, it just seemed to fit. (and no, it has nothing to do with 'brady bunch'!).

the middle name is still in flux, teetering between leanne and lynn. Both feel right on the tounge. Last name is not yet decided, but i am inclined to keep my last name so as to keep the initials intact.

[Leah Lynn]

My male nickname is Lee; I only use my proper name for legal purposes. I hadn't thought about a female name, but at a Halloween party a few years ago, a lady asked my wife, "Where's Lee?" As I said, "I'm here", a gent said, "No, that's Leah!" That stuck, but when I do the legal name change, it will be Leah Marie.

BTW, my wife and I were engaged before she found out what my real name is.

Leah

[LeaP]

...It could not be too exotic, as it does not work in my culture. ...

What are the implications for using an exotic name?

[Aly Cat]

I think I have settled on the name Kenneth Alyson Catriona. I'm keeping the Kenneth in my name out of respect for my grandfather who I was named after and who passed away on my 13th birthday. I think I owe him that and want to honor him by keeping the name. I won't be using the name obviously, but I think it should stay. I'll be going by Aly. Alyson means honest and Catriona means pure. Both are Irish so I'd be following my roots. I think they are fitting names and I like how they flow.
Aly just feels right too. I haven't really come across any other names that feel "right" to me. I'm definitely happy with it.

[Frances]

What are the implications for using an exotic name?

I am French-Canadian. We are like the Irish, very homogenous and Catholic by tradition. Anyone who does not use contractions linguistically is deemed suspect (kind of like in Alabama). A Japenese name who not fly. We are descendants of peasants who could not go back to France when the British took over. Even our last names are similar. Also, we don't have middle names.

[Kimberly Kael]

I think I have settled on the name Kenneth Alyson Catriona.

I think it's very sweet that you want to preserve the family connection, but have you considered keeping Kenneth as your middle name? There are a lot of circumstances in which you'll produce ID and that first name outs you immediately when you might prefer otherwise. I kept my original given name as a middle name partly out of respect for my parents, and partly to ease the legal transition by making the connection for anyone who still had my prior name on file.

Admittedly that name was also somewhat gender neutral, though more typically associated with men than women, which helps.

[Kathryn Martin]

My spouse chose my first name and I loved it, it's very fitting. I kept my birth name as my middle name and also my last name.

[shayleetv]

My name came from old Irish folklore. I had a friend who was rather an expert in Irish myths and such. He told me about fairies in folklore and why they stole male babies and why boys were often in dresses until age 12(this was still happening up to WWl). Fairies were always presented as female because they were sexless nether male nor female. A synonym for fairy was a Shaylee. At the time I chose the name that was pretty much how I felt about my self. As for now I just like the name because I think it is pretty, different and somewhat unique.