Leaving an obvious trail !

[Teresa]

This started with a brief meeting with a nice guy who lives in the village , I was walking along the pavement with the dog when he pulls up in his car to have a word . You can sense when people want to say something but they don't !
His wife died a while ago and he now lives alone after his daughter moved out. He strangely dropped into the conversation that he noticed I'd built a new gate at the bottom of my garden, I back onto fields and occasionally people walk their dogs along it, I have a few gaps in my hedge so if you stood long enough you might catch a glimpse of the top half of me dressed !
It's more likely that as he lives alone he's trawled round the internet and maybe looked at many sites, and if you hit on this forum you wouldn't need to be a mathematician to put two and two together to pick up on the obvious trail I've left !

The question is do I really care ? or have I been a stupid idiot and ignored the fact that the M-F section is open to visitors and if you trawl back far enough there's a potted history of my life !

Do you thing we should be more careful and use Loved Ones section for more private parts of our CDing ?
I do feel at some point there's got to be a total coming out ! Hiding behind closed doors as you get older is more ridiculous than being a CDer !

[SarahLynn]

Teresa, just my observation and meant as a serious compliment, if your picture is any indication of you normal appearance when you are out and about in your back garden, the questions he's not asked are: "Who is the good looking lady in your garden? How did she get into the house without anyone seeing her walk down the street? Would you be willing to introduce her to me?" Etc.

Were I your neighbour I'd be asking these questions. I'd also be wanting to know when you intend to intorduce her to your neighbours.

SarahLynn

[Katey888]

Teresa,

Maybe you really want to read more into this than there is... :)

Perhaps he just noticed a new gate in a hedge where previously there was just hedge..?

Living in a village too, I think that's way more likely than being the local amateur cyber-gumshoe... ;)

If you want to tell people - perhaps you just should?

Katey x

[Renee Elise]

Hi Teresa, I tend to agree with Katey...perhaps he was just being a friendly neighbor and happened to notice the new gate, trying to strike up a conversation for no other reason. This isn't exactly the kind of place that your average muggle (to borrow another Katey-ism lol) would see at the top of their news feed along with sports or weather...it would take more than a passing interest or idle curiosity to find this place, sift through all the posts, see your profile, and then do the math. Now, on the other hand, if you happen to see him lurking behind your hedge Mr. Bean style with a homemade spyglass, well...

[Teresa]

Sorry I should have said the top half is visible from our kitchen windows !
I still pose the question if you want privacy between members is it better to use the Loved Ones section, despite it possibly being the wrong title ?
SarahLynn I wasn't looking for a compliment but we all appreciate them many thanks for that !!

[Marcelle]

Hi Teresa. I don't think you have to worry about him knowing as I get the impression he is just a lonely older guy looking to strike up conversation and perhaps make a new friend. You did note that his wife is deceased and his daughter has moved away so he could just be lonely and looking for others to talk to.

WRT to posting in the "Loved Ones" section for the more private parts . . . I suppose if you want a certain amount of protection from the general public who can view the "general forum" it might be a wise course of action. I have posted a lot in the "general forum" and suppose someone who does not know about Isha could do some data mining and come up with a "I know that guy/girl epiphany" but then again, I am not overly concerned by that discovery.

Hugs

Isha

[Donnagirl]

Teresa,

There is really no safe place 'on line'... There is software that can compare the biometrics and find a match in most photos... Most are not limited by internet privacy settings...

I tested my 'cop strength' version and it finds me no worries at all....

[CarlaWestin]

I do feel at some point there's got to be a total coming out ! Hiding behind closed doors as you get older is more ridiculous than being a CDer !

My feelings exactly but, I would prefer to hold off on the inevitable, at least with family and employment concerns. But, at home I don't hide anything and I do go for morning walks all fem. I've avoided encounters with the occasional neighbor that decided to walk Muffy real early by just doubling back and walking the other way home but, there will inevitably be that one time where I'll have to pass right by someone. I just don't think I'll be recognized but, as I am around strangers when out and about, I just really don't much care anymore.

[kimdl93]

Did he say anything that might have lead you to believe he had any knowledge of your CDing? I don't think it odd to notice a new gate - I'd probably have noticed it too? You have to be careful not to read too much into the man's comments, and read nothing into the absence of comments.

[Teresa]

Isha and Kim, the family has known the guy for some time, my son went to school with his daughter and also my son worked with him at one time. Usually he waves as he passes and doesn't normally stop, he definitely wanted to say something but he wouldn't have stopped to mention the gate.

Donna who does the search on the searchers or have they got bomb proof software ?

[Jorja]

I think you need to invest some time training the dog better. Teach him to clean up those crumbs that you are leaving the trail with. ;)

If you are that worried about a neighbor discovering your little "secret" pull the shades and get off of the internet.

[Ressie]

Some neighbors are snoopy, that is they watch what others are up to in the hood. That doesn't mean they're cyber stalking, but we are kind of giving secret admirers a chance to find us when posting photos. It seems to be a risk that has little reward unless you want to be found out.

[Teresa]

Ressie I know there's no going back the way I've come so I guess I'm taking a calculated risk that I may be found out, it's got to happen at some point ! It would have been an unexpected way if the guy had actually said something !
I guess it relates to a thread asking , " Who Knows ?" I think we would find the answer is more people than we think !
I wouldn't have put the guy down as the village snoop but people can surprise you !!

[Emi_]

i sort of take it for granted that if I post anything about myself being a cross-dresser online, I am opening up myself to the possibility that ANYONE can find out about me. This goes double for the fact that I post photos of myself and was even brazen enough to post to the Boy Vs. Girl photo thread.

[Jaylyn]

I didn't know that just anyone could go to the M to F section at will? Why is that open? Lots of info there that could be destructive to those hat want to remain in the closet. This is a great section but why is it open to just any one that browses here? Just wondering.

[reb.femme]

i sort of take it for granted that if I post anything about myself being a cross-dresser online, I am opening up myself to the possibility that ANYONE can find out about me. This goes double for the fact that I post photos of myself and was even brazen enough to post to the Boy Vs. Girl photo thread.

With regard to the title, "Leaving an obvious trail!", I was going to offer that you can get a cream and some padding for that, but then I read on.

Emi has said it all for me. I've basically taken the line that if confronted, I'll go with it. I have a website that shows me and my locale and I couldn't give a damn quite honestly. Sounds like a lonely old boy, I know how that feels from a few years back.

You never know, he may call to ask you out one night. :heehee:

Rebecca

[Stephanie47]

If a person had a reason to come to this site I guess looking at my brief bio and reading my posts, you probably can confirm I am a cross dresser. Then the question arises as to whether I leave little hints around for family and friends to ask that question? If I have it seems nobody cares.

[SarahLynn]

Teresa you're quite lovely in your avitior and the compliment is due you. I'm with the other gals on this one, likely he saw the new gate and wanted to talk to you about it. As you know this gentleman (family friend) maybe traffic kept him from talking, or there may have been another reason totally unrelated to you and this site. Regardless i'm also thinking hes looking for a male mate to chat with. Just a local someone whom he knows already and will be comfortable sharing a bit of conversation. He may have seen the pooch and decided that was not the best time to get into a conversation. I would not assume it is related to this site unless he is (and you see him) looking through the hedge.

SareahLynn

[Teresa]

Jaylyn I have a feeling you may not be the only one that hasn't realised M-F is open ! It's very easy to forget that anyone can look over you shoulder ! Maybe there should be another section ! CDing has brought us all together, because of the common theme, members do put a lot of trust in each other !
May be an interesting point if anyone has had problems with divulged information being used against them on the forum.

[Lynn Marie]

I do feel at some point there's got to be a total coming out ! Hiding behind closed doors as you get older is more ridiculous than being a CDer !

Ah, so absolutely true. As I age gracefully into retirement, I just don't care anymore more about maintaining a semblance of manhood or anything else for that matter. We are what we are and attempting to prove anything otherwise is simply a waste of time and energy. I love my years for the wisdom they've imparted. I'd love to look young again, but I never want to go back to trying to prove myself or impress anyone. Two weeks after I'm dead, nobody will care at all. I'm quite happy with that.

[Maria 60]

That is very true, anyone who follows me knows I use this site a lot to vent. But if you go back and read all my posts you can really put together more then I want people to know. You can figure out how many kids I have and there age more less, which area I live and what I do for a living, and a lot of my family problems, we do release a lot more then we wish, and just the same if you followed someone else's post you could find out a lot about anyone.

[Beverley Sims]

Teresa,
Yes you can leave a good trail on this forum without even trying.

I have seen many giveaways. I would wait and see if the conversation gets more into fishing for information before I would worry too much.