I miss my CD

[Bev06 GG]

Strange isn't it. When my partner and I first got together and he told me he liked to dress as a woman I was horrified and to be honest a little bit disappointed. I tried not to show it because I adored him right from the start.
I knew that I had two choices - I could either tell him that I hated it and wanted him to stop and risk him doing it behind my back - Or I could support him in the hope that he would share everything with me and be open and up front.
I decided to go with the latter and we ended up having a really good time together going to various events and weekends away with other CDers.
Now he's not around I miss CDing - I honestly never thought I'd hear myself say that. I still have all his shoes in the bottom of our wardrobe because I just can't bear to part with them. I had to get rid of the clothes because to be honest I just didn't have any room for them
I often think/wonder if his new partner knows about his dressing and whether or not she would be as accepting and as supportive as I was. He reckons he doesn't do it any more so I'm guessing she doesn't know. But isn't it odd that something I was at first really worried about has turned out to be one of the things I miss the most about him because it gave us so many opportunities to do something so very personal and intimate together.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Bev,

Its a little like the lyrics in the song. "That you don't know what you've got. Till it's gone"

I guess we all miss things we don't expect too sometimes :(

[carhill2mn]

I must admit that this is an unusual post. I am sorry for the loss that you are feeling. I suppose that your sense of loss is greater since you had such a great experience after deciding to accept and enjoy the CDing.

I am a bit confused as to why your partner left his shoes, clothes, etc. when he left you. Did he choose to try to not be a CD any more?

[Di]

I totally understand Bev. For us as well it is a big part of our life too....going out and attending various events. It can be so fun!! Wish you were closer I would take you out with us.

[Helen_Highwater]

So can I ask, if there were two prospective potential partners, who in all all aspects were difficult to separate, each having all the right virtues, would you favour the one who was a CD'er against a non CD'er? How much weight would being a CD'er carry in you making the decision to form a relationship?

[Teresa]

Bev , sorry to hear your partner moved on after you accepted his CDing, sounds a bit odd leaving his stuff !
I would have thought at your age you could move on and give another relationship a go, you sound easy enough to get on with !
We're only the length of Lincolnshire apart but sorry I'm not on offer ! My wife has too many things on her to do list to let me go !

[Katey888]

It's a sad sentiment Bev, and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way... :hugs:

Perhaps in time you will find that losing those old reminders of the past will be a better way to go - I suffer that myself, so I'm not a good example, but in time...

And yours is not a sentiment we hear often, if at all - which to me just demonstrates how unique each individual's feelings and relationships are...

Try not to think on it too much - try some distraction... Wimbledon, World Cup... East Enders... ;)

Katey x

[PaulaQ]

I'm really sorry about what happened Bev. I know it's probably not much comfort, but know that you are a wonderful woman, and that I think your former CD SO is a complete fool for leaving you, thinking his CD days are behind him. Been there, done that, started transition later...

[Emi_]

For those of us who cross-dress, cross-dressing is our most intimate secret and we are never being more honest than when we reveal this side of ourselves openly to another person, particularly someone we love. To have shared that side of himself with you was to share his deepest heart and to make the most meaningful connection he could make with another human being. I don't know what has happened since then, but I think that you are now reacting to the loss of something very special and it is reflected in the most intimate aspect of it: that he shared his truest nature with you. Much love to you!

[stephNE]

Hi Bev, that is so sweet!

[Angie G]

Sorry this happend to you. From what I cas gather your such a sweet lady. I don't see how he could do this to you. And I do hope you will stay with us hun.:hugs:
Angie

[samantha rogers]

That is awesome that you are so supportive. Your ex was apparently a fool. Knowing how many CDs are lonely I bet you now have a box full of private messages, right?

[Tinkerbell-GG]

He's with someone else now, so what's there really to miss? That's beyond hurtful, crossdressing or not.

I'm sure there are many crossdressers in this world who'd be far more grateful than he was to have someone as accepting as you in their life. I hope you find him x

[Bev06 GG]

Thank you ladies, very comforting posts. He left me because he had a thing for large ladies on the internet. He was always going off to meet them and I'd find out and he'd beg for forgiveness. Unfortunately when I got cancer he decided to leave for good. And in answer to your question about the CDer or the none CDer which would I pick - I think it would depend on the individual really and not the Cding but the CDing wouldn't put me off in the slightest..

[Sometimes Steffi]

I am very sorry for you also.

But there is another side of this.

There are many more CDers who can;t find a GG who will love them than there are GGs who would be interested in a CDer. So, get back in the game.

[Beverley Sims]

Bev,
I am just sorry to hear you have lost your best friend to someone else.

I wish you all the best for the future though.

[MissTee]

What a sweet post, Bev. Sorry you have to go through this. I can see how the CD could provide unique bonding opportunities to the open minded couple, but he sounds like a real creep. You deserve so much more.

[kimdl93]

Nostalgia aside, it's nice to know that you were able to grow in acceptance. But, that was then and this is now. How are you doing?

Ps, the fact that he was cruising the net for women, whatever size, spoke poorly of his character. The fact that he left when you were confronted with cancer speaks volumes more.

[Rachel Morley]

But isn't it odd that something I was at first really worried about has turned out to be one of the things I miss the most about him because it gave us so many opportunities to do something so very personal and intimate together.

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have cancer and also it's also absolutely terrible that when you got it he decided to leave you :sad: ... that said, the part of your post I quoted is exactly what my wife and I find, CDing gives us so many opportunities to do something personal and intimate together. I wish you all the best.

[Jaylyn]

Bev I love to dress and my wife supports me in that. I also support her in all that she does also. We have done some pretty crazy things together from experimenting in lifestyles we never thought we would to trying new and exciting things together. She was scared of the water and couldn't swim but she took a scuba with me, I took dancing class's with her. She learned to hunt and shoot with me I learned to appreciate going to junktigue stores with her. The list could go on all night. I want she and myself to grow old together and then die at the same time. I really don't know if either one of us could go on living without each other. We are true soul mates that found each other. I kind of know what you mean by missing someone but haven't experienced it yet. I do feel for you....