Significant Others

[seekertree]

Hi,

This is more aquestion for GG`s

If your husband or deeply committed other said and asked the following ?
What would you say.

From the TG

I am TG and have issues that need to be dealt with.
I do not want a sex change or to be a woman.
I want to be more like a Woman
I am not going to leave you
i will still be a Man and act accordingly

However

I want to grow Breasts and be me, but I stiil love you.

What would you say and wouldyou let him ?


Julie

[Lilith Moon]

I want to grow Breasts and be me, but I stiil love you.
What would you say and wouldyou let him ?
Julie
I'm not a GG, but I would like to suggest the following related thought exercise. If your deeply commited female SO said:

"I want to undergo surgery to have a rather large penis attached."

What would you say and would you let her ?

[seekertree]

Lilith,
Well the TG would not be losing the penis, so she has something extra to play with.

I would say same , if she still keeps vagina, great something extra ?

Julie

[kathy gg]

Although I am no expert on ftm surgeries, I do believe that even the operations to give a ts ftm a "penis" are nothing like what can be achieved when you operate on a mtf ts. Hard to build on something that was never there.

The only way you could maybe argue this backwards would be say if a ftm wanted to remove her breasts and have a masectomy.

But...anyway getting back to the quetstion...actually this has been asked before, but I dont' know where the thread is.

"I" personally think that a male having real breasts, either by implants or by use of hormones is going to limit his ability to be in public settings where other men remove their shirts. Things like going to the beach, swimming pools, or even taking off a shirt in front of your own children would become an awarkward or continuos need for explanation. I like going swimming with my husband, I like the few times we have gone to the beach and I have found it prohibative to overall enjoyment if he cannot be comfortable. Because if one is not very obese the desire to keep one's shirt on is a bit unusual.

This would be hard to overcome. Enjoying his male pecs the way they look now for me is very enjoyable. I don't mind when he wears breast forms, but I like that when I want his real chest it is right there for me to enjoy and explore.

I mean, let's face reality, there are plenty of women in this world who are flat as a 12 year old. I dont' see how lack of breasts makes them feel less womanly.

I would say to my husband "let's find another way" to "feel like a woman".
THis does not mean he can't ultiamtly do as he wishes, but everything from his job, to his intimate relations with me, to his male life woudl change. And dare I say probably not for the better.....

But..with me and Amanda this is a mute issue. THis conversation has already happened and this is not on his agenda....

[Maria D]

I mean, let's face reality, there are plenty of women in this world who are flat as a 12 year old. I dont' see how lack of breasts makes them feel less womanly.

In many many cases it does, though; hence why breast enlargment operations are so prevalent. Having gone out with one girl who was a AA, it hurt her deeply and she wore massively padded bras. Like it or not, breasts are feminine because men simply don't have them. (Ok, we know they can do, but most people don't. ;))

As to limited ability, absolutely, unless you really don't care what people think. I am currently an A and couldn't take my top off in public. This is fine as I'm transitioning, but wouldn't be so fine for someone who wishes to keep presenting as a man. And lets be honest, A is small.

Take care :)
Maria

[kathy gg]

Hi Maria,

You wrote:
In many many cases it does, though; hence why breast enlargment operations are so prevalent. Having gone out with one girl who was a AA, it hurt her deeply and she wore massively padded bras. Like it or not, breasts are feminine because men simply don't have them. (Ok, we know they can do, but most people don't.
______________________

I do realize that many smaller breasted women get implants. And as someone who has always between B and now is a DD...well I probably can't speak for those smaller chested girls, I have never been that small.

But I have had female friends who were not large. They always seemed to enjoy the freedom that smaller breasts allowed. Not having to worry about support as much when playing sports, being able to wear more revealing tops and no need to worry sagging. And many have said that their breasts were very senstive to touch.

But...anyway.....I personally always wished I was a smallish size. I find them quiet restrictive and almost cumbersome. ACtually more envy cd's at being able to "remove' them when not needed! :p

[Maria D]

LOL, I understand! My sister is currently beyond G after her baby and she's thinking about reduction. I'm not suprised, they are huge and must be very heavy. I can see the advantage in just unscrewing them at the end of the day too. Perhaps the grass is always greener? :)

Take care
Maria

[Gilded Graper]

kathy gg
"I" personally think that a male having real breasts... is going to limit his ability to be in public settings where other men remove their shirts. Effeminant gays have the same stress every where and all the time they are in public. The difference w/ a TG is that he has a choice of appearing normal either as a man or as a woman (facial plastic surgery).

Studies of children in a same sex marriage show they do very well. The kids have the advantage of having parents who understand the harrasment from their classmates and get lots of support.
The fat, small, geeky or outsider kids usually get no support from the parents because the kids are too ashamed to tell them about the harrasment.

It takes strength, courage and luck for a wife and husband-w/-a-breast to go out into the world. And there are one's old friends and relatives...

Who can put up with the shame & fear day after day?
Most kids mentioned above can and do, without any support from their family.

[seekertree]

Thank You all for the very valid replies.
I only ask as I have emailed a lot of Tg`s with small but real breasts and alot of wives and girlfriends actively play with them sexually.

Appreciated ref there would be some aspects ie swimming, beach etc where situations would be excluded from the life equation but then again that is thrown against the scale of "life validation".

Julie

[BrendaB GG]

Hi Julie
I guess in reading your post I would have to say that my husband has asked the very same thing of me, not exactly in those words, but it's exactly what he means.
I guess my answer is yes.
Life has played a cruel trick on him and he deserves to have a little bit of whatever it is he needs to make him feel like a whole person. YEs it will be inconvenient when going swimming or whatever, but we will adjust.
I wish you well.
Brenda

[Sierra]

I understand and live it and wouldn't recommend it.It can make you walk alone.Most people can't handle it that see my 38 C's protruding.I like winter best where I can pass as a guy [due to thicker clothes]that doesn't look like a freak or fag.My wife and kids love me and accept me,the world does not.I fight depression and have to endure just as TS,Gays or outcasts type do in northern California.I love my breast.....but wish I could invite my friends to ski with us on our boat but it would upset and embaress probally all.You can't go anywhere in the summer without people knowing in a glance you are a sissy boy with breast.If you can handle that and much more there are some benefits like filling out all those pretty things,feeling them be sucked,ect. Its a nice fantasy for the non comitted,but ain't for wussies.

[seekertree]

Sierra,

That`s a heck of a reply and vaildated.

Julie

[livy_m_b]

Hi,

This is more aquestion for GG`s

If your husband or deeply committed other said and asked the following ?
What would you say.

From the TG

I am TG and have issues that need to be dealt with.
I do not want a sex change or to be a woman.
I want to be more like a Woman
I am not going to leave you
i will still be a Man and act accordingly

However

I want to grow Breasts and be me, but I stiil love you.

What would you say and wouldyou let him ?


Julie


Speaking as a hypothetical gg but with full knowledge of myself and other t's who've told their SO more or less the same thing and then kept pushing the envelope relentlessly, I as the hypothetical gg would say: You're already not acting like a man as far as I'm concerned. What does this do for me? I'm stuck in a weird relationship while you are figuring out what you really want to do.

There are understanding SO's out there. But it's hard for most of them, and we shouldn't be surprised. As a class, we're extremely manipulative and self-centered - my view. Give us an inch and we take a mile etc. Pretty soon, the previous family life is in shambles, wife full of self doubt and trapped by feelings that she should be loyal etc., children more or less confused, neighbors amused, irritated or angry, etc. etc. etc.

Sorry, but not even I believe what I say on the subject of my gender journey.