Very Confusing Neighbor

[ArleneRaquel]

I post from time to time about my very homophobic next door neighbor, well yesterday he was very polite to me and actually gave me a compliement. He's at work right now and when he returns he will see me at the Puter, enfemme, and who knows what he will say or do. He might relagate me to hell again.

[Desirae]

Were you "enfemme" yesterday when he was polite to you? What was the compliment he gave you?

[ArleneRaquel]

I was enfemme. He complimented me about my knowledge of American history. He have somewhat different views on this subject, but he jknows that I am well read on the subject. Other than our first meeting, when I first moved in to this complex, he has always seen me only enfemme.

[Katey888]

Perhaps your charm is softening his hard heart, Arlene... :)

Or perhaps you should reserve judgement until he returns... but he might just have a bad day at work...:eek:

Nonetheless, we should always be polite however bigoted someone else may be - we should be feeling sympathy for their lack of tolerance, their loss of appreciating the broader society of the world we live in...

Katey x

[Desirae]

It sounds to me that maybe he is warming up a little bit. Maybe he just realized that you're a good neighbor and that is far more important than "who" you are. Maybe he did some introspective on his ways, or had some "life event" happen to him, or, possibly, he found out about a family member who is TG or gay. Maybe he saw something on TV that got him to start thinking and reassessing his beliefs. It really doesn't matter what brought about this change. I'd go with it and see where it goes and whether it lasts, and give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves otherwise. People can change. They don't always change, but they do have the capacity to change. Maybe you can now extend a hand to him and ask him for his help on something, or his advice on something, or give him a compliment of some kind, to keep whatever is happening going.

[ArleneRaquel]

Thank you darlin. I will do my best.

[kimdl93]

Well, at least he acknowledges that you're well informed, despite your divergent views.

By now he must surely understand that one can be an intelligent, attractive, well-read and a good neighbor and be TG too. That in itself must force a measure of enlightenment on him.

And remember what Mark Twain said: Go to Heaven for the climate, Go to hell for the company!

[Beverley Sims]

Arlene,
He may be schizophrenic too.
That is a consideration.

[ArleneRaquel]

Arlene,
He may be schizophrenic too.
That is a consideration.

Beverly,
I have had that thought also. Thank you for posting. At times I am afraid of this outburts, the other day he come out, and I had my door open and I was online as he shouted "The F Woed" many times and at the top of his lungs. He also used other awful words. He does have a temper.

[ArleneRaquel]

Kim,
He is a person that is not predictable.

[Carole]

Arlene, maybe he is one of the few 'normal' folk who have realised that not all cd's are gay!!!!!!! So his homophobia is not directed your way.

[kimdl93]

What you've described is a fairly disturbed person. That behavior wasn't apparent in the initial post. Homophobic, yes, but the propensity to outbursts shed a different light on it.

[ArleneRaquel]

Thank you katey, carole, and all of the wonderful ladies who have posted on my thread I love you all. Kimd Your reference to the Voltaire quote is a quote I use to myself in regard to my neighbor. LOVE !

[Stephanie Sometimes]

He sounds a little bit unpredictable and dangerous Arlene so be careful around that lug. Homophobes can turn violent as we all know. But maybe since he has had a conversation with you about a common interest he is beginning to view you in a more positive light and begin to understand folks that may be different are not a threat to his narrow minded little universe. Let's hope! Just take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Steph

[ArleneRaquel]

Thank you Stephanie, I will be careful. Again thanks all.

[mechamoose]

Even if a person gets a bunch of conflicting signals, if they think they have something in common with you, then they will latch on to that.

I have a fundie uncle who knows I'm Pagan.. but whenever we are around each other he wants to talk about Revolutionary War battles and tactics.

He *knows* I don't fit into his world view, but he understands that I know about field strategy, and recreationist groups (I do SCA) and chooses to focus on that.

- MM

[MelanieAnne]

He may also be bi polar. I would keep the doors locked until you know more about this guy. Something isn't right with him.

[ArleneRaquel]

MelanieAnne,
I totally agree. Thank you for your concern.

mechamoose,
Thanks darlin.