BeccaClark
07-07-2014, 03:14 PM
Ever since I was about 5, I've always been intrigued by putting on women's clothes. Years have gone by since I first discovered it, sometimes with me trying to push the urge deep down to where it doesn't come up again, but it always seems to come back. Since I was about 16, I kind of just started learning to live with it (secretly of course). I met my girlfriend when I was 17 (still with her today).
Well here's where my real problem starts. All these urges to dress up and pretend to be a woman got me wanting to tell SOMEBODY and share it with them. Well, I sure as hell wasn't gonna tell my girlfriend! So I posted an ad on Craigslist, looking for somebody who wanted to see pics of me in drag. This guy responded, and I sent a few pics of me dressed up. Welllllll, after a year of dating my girlfriend, she had stumbled upon the emails with the pics of me. She was distraught. Said she couldn't be with me anymore, asked if I was gay (I'm not), she was just in shock. I told her that it was nothing, and just to forget about it. She did exactly what I said. For the next 3 to 4 years, she hadn't said a word about the pictures.
Last fall (after we had broken up for a short amount of time and decided to get back together) I found out that she had slept with a few people while we were apart. She kept lying about it, but she finally realized I knew, so she admitted. That's when I felt the need to admit about my dressing up. She was still worried I was gay, but after researching crossdressing, she started to kind of understand. Since I came clean to her, I feel so much better that she knows. I don't have to hide it from her, ya know? We were shopping in des moines a couple months ago and she wanted to go to Victorias Secret for something, and I said "I'll take you there if you'll let me buy some underwear.." and surprisingly, she said okay!
So we walk into Victorias Secret together, and that big panty sale was going on (like 7 for $25), so we dug through them and she'd ask "do you like these?", and I'd either say yes or no. She picked out 5 for her and I picked out 2 for me. We went and rang out as if they were all hers.
I wore them under my pants a couple times, then when it was time for bed, I'd kinda crouch behind the bed when I took my pants off, so she wouldn't see me in them (even though she knew I was wearing them). Well, she got upset and said "if you're gonna do this, you have to at least let me see", so I wore them to bed that night and let her see.
I can tell she's still not okay with it, but doesn't want to tell me. A few months go by, and we go shopping again, and they have a bunch of panties on sale again. So I ask if I could buy some for me, and she said "okay?" So we go in and I pick out about 5. When we got home that night, she told me to try them on, so I did (it's still uncomfortable to wear stuff in front of her). I keep all the underwear at her apartment, so whenever I stay there, I'll wear my underwear to bed about 1/4 of the nights. She's knows I do it, but doesn't say anything. Well I wanted a bra to go with the panties, so I ordered a pushup bra on eBay.
I showed her it when I received it, asking if it was a nice bra. And she said "its not bad, it's a major Victorias Secret ripoff though". I didn't wear the bra to bed, simply because I don't think she's ready for it yet.
We'll I was surfing eBay a couple weeks later, and this woman (about my size) was selling a bunch of Victorias Secret stuff for cheap, and I found a night gown id like to have, It was in a Medium, so I texted my girlfriend asking if a medium night gown would fit me, and she called back and flipped out on me, saying I already have enough stuff, and then flipped out about a bunch of other stuff going on with her life. The part about me wasn't much, but in my opinion, it was a glimpse of how she really feels..
Since then, I took all my woman stuff back from her apartment and put it in my house, without her knowing. When she realized it wasn't at her apartment, she asked why I took it, and I said "because you flipped out on me for having too much stuff" which she replied "well you do, but I'm sorry baby, I was just having a really bad day and that was the first thing you said to me all day. I just got upset"..
I just wish she was completely comfortable with it and would support me. It doesn't do any harm. Before I came out to her, I figured she'd be really supportive. She is really supportive of the gay community. Idk :( hopefully you took the time to read this far. Thank you so much if you did. What should I do?
Well here's where my real problem starts. All these urges to dress up and pretend to be a woman got me wanting to tell SOMEBODY and share it with them. Well, I sure as hell wasn't gonna tell my girlfriend! So I posted an ad on Craigslist, looking for somebody who wanted to see pics of me in drag. This guy responded, and I sent a few pics of me dressed up. Welllllll, after a year of dating my girlfriend, she had stumbled upon the emails with the pics of me. She was distraught. Said she couldn't be with me anymore, asked if I was gay (I'm not), she was just in shock. I told her that it was nothing, and just to forget about it. She did exactly what I said. For the next 3 to 4 years, she hadn't said a word about the pictures.
Last fall (after we had broken up for a short amount of time and decided to get back together) I found out that she had slept with a few people while we were apart. She kept lying about it, but she finally realized I knew, so she admitted. That's when I felt the need to admit about my dressing up. She was still worried I was gay, but after researching crossdressing, she started to kind of understand. Since I came clean to her, I feel so much better that she knows. I don't have to hide it from her, ya know? We were shopping in des moines a couple months ago and she wanted to go to Victorias Secret for something, and I said "I'll take you there if you'll let me buy some underwear.." and surprisingly, she said okay!
So we walk into Victorias Secret together, and that big panty sale was going on (like 7 for $25), so we dug through them and she'd ask "do you like these?", and I'd either say yes or no. She picked out 5 for her and I picked out 2 for me. We went and rang out as if they were all hers.
I wore them under my pants a couple times, then when it was time for bed, I'd kinda crouch behind the bed when I took my pants off, so she wouldn't see me in them (even though she knew I was wearing them). Well, she got upset and said "if you're gonna do this, you have to at least let me see", so I wore them to bed that night and let her see.
I can tell she's still not okay with it, but doesn't want to tell me. A few months go by, and we go shopping again, and they have a bunch of panties on sale again. So I ask if I could buy some for me, and she said "okay?" So we go in and I pick out about 5. When we got home that night, she told me to try them on, so I did (it's still uncomfortable to wear stuff in front of her). I keep all the underwear at her apartment, so whenever I stay there, I'll wear my underwear to bed about 1/4 of the nights. She's knows I do it, but doesn't say anything. Well I wanted a bra to go with the panties, so I ordered a pushup bra on eBay.
I showed her it when I received it, asking if it was a nice bra. And she said "its not bad, it's a major Victorias Secret ripoff though". I didn't wear the bra to bed, simply because I don't think she's ready for it yet.
We'll I was surfing eBay a couple weeks later, and this woman (about my size) was selling a bunch of Victorias Secret stuff for cheap, and I found a night gown id like to have, It was in a Medium, so I texted my girlfriend asking if a medium night gown would fit me, and she called back and flipped out on me, saying I already have enough stuff, and then flipped out about a bunch of other stuff going on with her life. The part about me wasn't much, but in my opinion, it was a glimpse of how she really feels..
Since then, I took all my woman stuff back from her apartment and put it in my house, without her knowing. When she realized it wasn't at her apartment, she asked why I took it, and I said "because you flipped out on me for having too much stuff" which she replied "well you do, but I'm sorry baby, I was just having a really bad day and that was the first thing you said to me all day. I just got upset"..
I just wish she was completely comfortable with it and would support me. It doesn't do any harm. Before I came out to her, I figured she'd be really supportive. She is really supportive of the gay community. Idk :( hopefully you took the time to read this far. Thank you so much if you did. What should I do?