Does anyone just do CDing for themselves

[BillieAnneJean]

Is it possible that a CDer may just dress and go OUT for their own satisfaction? That the approval of others is not necessary? That guys making advances is not the desired result? That if a GG dresses up to attract guys (I said IF) that a CDer doesn't necessarily dress to attract men? Is it possible that a CDer, dressing as best as they can, might be doing it as best as they can, to improve their chances for "passing"? That "passing" may have some safety merits vs obviously being a guy in a dress? That crossdressing might not be sexual? That CDing is not a guaranteed path to a sex change? That CDing does not mean a hetero has changed to non hetero?

I know the answers. They are all YES. But I certainly would appreciate the input from others. Maybe it would help some of our fellow(ette) CDers with their SOs.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

I'm a CDer, and I go out for my own satisfaction. It would be nice to have approval from other, but that is not necessary. Guys making advances is not the desired result! I definitely don't dress to attract men. I try to dress as best as I can, and try to improve my chances for "passing". For me, crossdressing is not sexual. I think that, for me, CDing will be my first step on my path to my long-awaited sex change. Since I'm a heterosexual man, I have not changed to non heterosexual (except for when I transition; I plan to become a lesbian woman).

[DeeArel]

I strongly concur with you, Billie.

While I may not necessary pass at times, I find that being stylish and tasteful at least has others treating me with some semblance of respect.

[Wasia]

Of course!
CD does not mean TS. CD means that a person loves to dress as the opposite gender, but it does not mean that he/she is a transsexual.
I for one, do it just because I need it. Need to feel a nylon on my legs, skirt moving around my knees, sun on the shoulders with thin straps, clicks of heels... And if some guy try compliment me - he is risking to get a broken nose... Passing for me is just a freedom to walk in peace.
Maybe crossdressing was sexual for me (when I was a teenager) but now it just a very comfortable clothes which for some reason, I do not fully understand, are considered to be wrong for me.

[Jennifer S]

I dress ONLY for myself. And let me tell you I am not very passable... Do I wish I looked like Rhianna or Katy Perry when i am dressed? Of course!! but i dress for me because when I am dressed en femme I feel more relaxed and at home in my own body than when I am in my male wardrobe.

[herwannabe]

I dress for myself I do not want to pass as a female even tho I wish I were female I love the feel of a cool breeze blowing up my skirt, the feel of crossing my legs with nylons on, the feel of a bra,I simply love the feeling that i get dressed in nylon.. I just wish that our society would allow and not judge us for wanting to wear whatever clothes that a person wants

[Nadine Spirit]

Good post.

Lets see if I can hit some of your points:
- approval of others is not necessary in the least
- I am not interested in guys, at all, ever
- I am not so concerned with passing as I am at doing the best at whatever I commit to doing, I constantly push myself to just try as many variations as I can
- passsing could provide advantages, but I think the real safety is in understanding that the vast majority of people, especially in public places, are more accepting of different behaviors than our media presents. I joke all the time with my wife that I am waiting to be pitchforked but I have yet to be poked even once.
- I will never transition, ever, period. Why? Because I am happy with being in the middle. I don't want to conform to my genders norms, nor do I want to conform to a females. I am happy with being in the middle and don't want to be anywhere else. This place I am in, has lots of freedoms to it and lots of avenues to explore.

Now all of this has been said from my perspective which is as someone who self identifies as the following:
- transgendered
- 100% of my male dressed time I am gender non conforming
- and I am an occasional cross dresser

[MelanieAnne]

BillieAnne, your post pretty much describes me to a T. I am heterosexual, and have been dressing since maybe 12 or 13. I don't go to clubs dressed. Over the years I have become pretty good at passing, but only for safety reasons. I can pass visually, but my voice would give me away. I just love to go out, and walk around, mostly in the early evening, in safe residential neighborhoods, for my own pleasure. I love the feel and sound of high heels, and a breeze up under my dress. I also walk in commercial shopping areas at night, when the store windows are just like huge mirrors. I have no intention of attracting men, although a couple times cars pulled over to the curb and tried to get me in the car. It scared me, but I just kept walking and they drove away.[sigh of relief]. I consider a couple hours after dark is a safe window. A woman walking down the street after midnight in heels would be asking for trouble. Several times while walking down the street, I have had cops slow down and look me over, and then keep going. I just try and look and act like any woman would, and I have had few problems over the years. As the thread suggested, I do this for my own pleasure and entertainment. I am not looking for any interaction with anyone else.

[ArleneRaquel]

I dress enfemme 24/7, so very often I dress just for me.

[MzVanessa]

Although at times I dress with the intention of attracting men when out in public, I ultimately think I do that to feel a sense of gratification that I am doing a good job of passing, and also it makes me feel sexy. It really feels good to me get admiring glances.

[Alice_2014_B]

I dress up, firstly, for myself; it's freeing and feels good.
Yes, wanting to be passable, if not very passable, is important to me. Sometimes it's like an extended sexual experience, without all the usual physical contact that comes with the normal, well, you know.
Do I wish I was a real woman? Eh, would be cool to wake up one morning and be completely woman for a day or a week. Would have to be off work the entire time I'm changed though, that would be funny.

[Cheryl T]

I always dress for me.
I dress to make myself feel good, to "pass" (I hate that term) as best I can as I wish to be perceived only as a woman when I go out. I don't wear clothing to attract men or show off, but only to express how I feel at that moment and to be appropriate for where I'm going.
It's not sexual although I must admit there was a sexual component when I was in my teens and 20's.

[Christen]

Well certainly I dress for my own satisfaction, but then I think the vast majority of people both female and male do. It's about feeling good about yourself. Approval of others? No one, that's not right, very few people outside this forum have seen me dressed, so the approval thing doesn't really figure in my little world. Attract men, Urrgh, no thanks, now that's not to say that a males admiration for how I looked wouldn't be as complimentary as a womens but it is not what I would be looking for.
The whole point of putting on a frock and whacking the makeup on, is for me, to emulate, imitate, look like a woman. I'd love to pass, I'd also like to be able to fly. I'll keep working on both.
Sexual? Not really, to be honest they are times when it's quite exciting, but so is mountain biking, not that they are similar, apart from the knicks.
No guarantees in life, except maybe this one. CDing is most definitely not a guaranteed path to gender reassignment.
Hetero to non hetero? Cd'ing certainly doesn't mean that, I mean you are or you ain't, I don't believe you can change paddles midstream.
Thanks Billie, good questions, but honestly would anyone seriously crossdress just for someone else.

Christen x

[Katey888]

Billie - good answers to all your questions already... If I were to answer individually it would look exactly like Christen's answers - I can't do better... :)

Really, honestly...? I have no frickin' idea why anyone does this for themselves anyway - me included... :lol:

But if I am doing anything, I think I should try to do my best, as I think most of us CD emulator-types do...

Katey x

[Daisy41]

Of course I say yes to everyone of these questions. I'll take it a bit further. I dress for myself, for my personal enjoyment without the approval of others. However, I do desire affirmation and validation from others. I need someone else to say "you look good!" or "wow I'm so proud of you!" I have no desire to attract attention from men and I greatly prefer unsolicited compliments from other women regarding my outfit.

I will say I'm a non-transitioning transgender (or rather 'bigender' or 'genderfluid', pick your preferred label) person who feels this way. I do have the desire to transition, but it's not something that's appropriate in my current place in life. I am still a cross dresser Just like I want to hike the Appalachin Trail, right now isn't the time that. My gender identity is just that - an identity. It's how I perceive myself and affects how I express myself. I'm misunderstood by so many people for so many reasons, why would I expect my gender identity to be the one thing everyone should understand?

I bring this point up because someone stated that we are "CD not TS", as if TS implied different answers to these questions. My wife is a woman and she would actually say yes to most of these questions as well. She dresses nice not for me, not to attract men, but for her self and her own confidence. She desires safety and enjoys expressing her identity outside the bounds of what society has deemed normative (for example, she wear hats that look like they belong to a 5 year old and she does so proudly!)

[Amanda L.]

Hi BillyAnne
Your questions are ones I have often asked myself in order to get clarity around this behaviour. I only dress for myself but since being on this forum and posting an image it has been very nice to get compliments from others. So it affirms my efforts to develop my feminine self. I am firm in my belief that I have no desire to transition to fully female nor do I have the slightest interest in men. I am a happily married heterosexual male. I am also comfortable in recognising the beauty (not just physical I might add) of the girls on this forum. I see them as women and applaud their individual journeys.
When I am having Amanda time I like nothing more than to look at myself (after makeup and clothing coordination) and think that I have done a good job. I don't think about passing, not sure why I would want to but if my male brain reckons I look 'hot' then I am happy.
Amanda

[Mollyanne]

Why do I dress????? Actually I don't know but the things that I do know is that I like how I look and how I feel!!!!!! I have thought many times about transitioning and have acquired the knowledge to act upon my desires. The thing(s) that are holding me back are family and my age. Money is NOT the issue but the aforementioned items are. I would lose everything that I have worked for. So I dress for me but dream of living as a woman. There are also a few sexual moments when I am adjusting my bra, clipping the last garter tab onto one of my stockings or applying my lipstick. After I am fully dressed and looking in the mirror I can't help but wonder is all this charade for me or is it to attract someone else?????

Molly

[CarlaWestin]

Well, yes to all. My enjoyment is the whole experience. The anticipation and preparation. Those first looks in the mirror. Only on rare occasions do I get to do the full shaved, nail polished, full makeup, wig and complete transformation. So, it's always in smaller fun uncomplicated scenarios on a nearly daily basis. I sleep in a nighty with forms every night. I enjoy the feel of the panties I'm wearing every day. Sometimes I'll run errands wearing a bra and forms with obvious projection. I just love the feel and thrill of it all and really don't need much feedback. I generally get positive feedback from online friends and this forum. But, I am truly hetero/asexual. I could probably entertain the concept of being courted and admired by a male but, it would just be fantasy role playing and could never lead to anything more. Hmm? A relationship with another CD would be interesting and one of my fantasies has been to meet a transman.

But, it is all just for pleasing me. Life is short and I'm going to have a good time, dammit!

[Kate Simmons]

I always do it for myself Hon and no one else. How does one have fun with it otherwise? :)

[kimdl93]

Frankly, it never occurred to me to dress for anyone but myself. Yes, I want to be presentable and dress in a manner that is appropriate to the situation, my stature and age (I tend to be a rule follower!) certainly never to attract anyone.

[donnalee]

Why else? It's not like anyone asked me to, even me!
It just happened; wondering why or cursing your fate is rather pointless.
It came into my life at a pretty advanced age, although it was probably there long before without my realizing it.
I can't say I've not asked why, just decided after a good deal of consideration that the answer didn't matter much.

[bridget thronton]

Not much I can add to this discussion, but I only wear the clothes I do for myself.

[AshleyScott]

:)Mes amis, bonjour from France...

This is a really encouraging thread and I thank each and every one of you for expressing your thoughts. They reflect many of the feelings that I have.

I only dress to try to emulate the look of a woman that I find attractive. I'm not trying to attract anyone-else (male or female)... it's just for me. :battingeyelashes:

[Lorileah]

If you dress to impress others, you are doing it wrong

[Debra Russell]

When I dress I do it for myself but I love acceptance and well meaning attention,- I want and try to emulate femininity, to be welcomed and have no desire to attract male advances - in all I am just being ME when dressed.........................Debra

[Adriana Moretti]

dont we all??? we all started out deep in a closet, just doing it for ourselves with nobody looking or judging just having fun and exploring , not much has changed i guess, we just kept improving and learning. As we continue that approval may play a roll, but a small one, more as an inspirational boost for the effort put into the presentation..

[DonnaT]

Of course it's possible, but what is possible for many should not be a generalization that it is possible for all.

If an SO has concerns, then the SO and CDer need to be honest with each other and not rely on possibilities.

[Frédérique]

Is it possible that a CDer may just dress and go OUT for their own satisfaction?

Yes. I do exactly that. You have hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head, my dear… :clap:

[CONSUELO]

I find that I dress for the pure pleasure and sexual buzz of seeing myself in lovely feminine clothes with makeup and hair in good order.
At the same time I would really enjoy being looked at and given approving glances.
I feel the same way when dressed in drab and I like to make sure that I am dressed well and neatly with good looking shoes that are well polished. i really dislike the "dress casual" movement in the workplace as to me it looks like "dress sloppily and crudely". My Mother always looked great when she stepped out of her front door and for her it was an issue of self respect as well as pride in herself.
I well remember a beautiful woman friend who was dressed very well and you could almost see the enjoyment in her face and movements. She knew that she was attracting admiring glances and it was giving her great pleasure.

[Sharon B.]

Like most of the ladies here I dress for myself and if I could pass as a woman I would certainly go out as one. I would like to shop as a woman and to enjoy myself out and about as a woman. The closest I can come to that is to be under-dressed as a woman. I would like to find an understanding woman and to have a lesbian affair with her.

[Mishell]

Of course!
CD does not mean TS. CD means that a person loves to dress as the opposite gender, but it does not mean that he/she is a transsexual.
I for one, do it just because I need it. Need to feel a nylon on my legs, skirt moving around my knees, sun on the shoulders with thin straps, clicks of heels... And if some guy try compliment me - he is risking to get a broken nose... Passing for me is just a freedom to walk in peace.
Maybe crossdressing was sexual for me (when I was a teenager) but now it just a very comfortable clothes which for some reason, I do not fully understand, are considered to be wrong for me.

Wasia, I'm not understanding why the implication of violence. This really bothers me. If a woman or even another CD complimented you, would they too be risking the same violent act? I don't see the need for possible violence because of a positive experience. Even if a guy tried hitting on you. (tried to pick you up).

[daphne g]

hi there
I've only ever been out ,as dressing up (halloweenie type but still very ladylike and not cheap

I've never tried to attract men i do it for myself ,but i do try to fit in with the girls and when out hang around the girls mostly

[Simone_40]

If you dress to impress others, you are doing it wrong
I'm with HER.:iagree:
I dress to please myself and how it makes ME feel.

[lpjamey]

I only dress for myself. I love the feeling that get when I have my bra and forms on (I like them big) my heels and a tight top. I will not pass and I really dont try, this is me time. Sure I would love to to try a full make over but I enjoy my little piece of femamenity when I can

[sometimes_miss]

Must be for myself, because the few that know, don't approve.

[Judith96a]

Billie,
You've pretty much described my situation too. I know that I don't 'pass' even moderate scrutiny - for me 'passing' effectively consists of confusing folks into thinking that this person might be female for a few seconds longer than their attention span! That way they don't reach for the proverbial pitch fork! I do the best that I can with makeup etc for my own pleasure and satisfaction rather than to please / attract anyone (haven't the slightest interest in men). However, it is rather gratifying when a GG who has looked long enough to realise that I'm a cross dresser (that doesn't take long) compliments me on makeup / outfit / whatever (or I get a compliment regarding an un-touched-up photo).

[Beverley Sims]

I CD ust for myself and my own satisfaction.
If I go to parties, there is a little theatre involved but in the end any success is self satisfying.

[Martha G]

Just for myself!

When I go to costume parties dressed as a woman, most of the time I am passable. Especially looks and voice. Mannerisms, still a little shaky.

But when I pull it off I feel so good.

But basically I do it for myself.

[Badwolf]

You've heard plenty of people confirm your thoughts, but especially in terms of sexuality, sexuality and sexual expression aren't always going to overlap in such a way that just because a male presents as female, its to date males.

This means that both TS and CDers are very possibly going to follow homo-sexual norms to what their sexual expression is at the time. The opposite is true, that just because they identify as a CD and not a TS they might still be interested in men, or even presenting as female is at all required to be interested in men.