Yes she knows...but

[lucy_miller]

So I'm curious as to how many other members have wives/partners who draw a line between wearing women's clothing and wanting to look like a woman. I have a tolerated set of silk nighties and camisoles as everyday sleepwear, some skinny women's jeans and a couple of cashmere jumpers which she finds OK and even a few items (including a dress) which i keep in our wardrobe and can wear when my wife is at work.

However, I also have 'hidden' items (forms, wig and make-up and a few feminine dresses, see avatar). I understand that she wouldn't want me to want to look and act like a woman so its that which I hide.

[Kate Simmons]

Personally, I never omit what I want to wear to my SO. It can become a matter of trust on down the line. Best to talk about things up front I've found. If she knows your feelings on this she may come to understand. Good luck. :)

[EllenJo]

Lucy, my wife is ok seeing me around the house wearing skirts, blouses, cami's, femme shoes, dresses ect. However she also "asked" that i don't wear wigs and make up when she is home. So I guess that she is thinking along the same lines as your wife. I am just fine with our arrangement but then we also have reached this point after years of DADT. I feel that I am lucky enough to have a supportive spouse and can work with her wishes also. She knows about the wig and make up but is able to still see me as the man of the house but more importantly she is the woman of the house.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[bridget thronton]

I wear makeup when I have the time to put it on. I wear dresses most of the time. The only things I do not wear around my spouse is my wig and breast forms.

[trishacd]

I hope my wife comes around to letting me dress more when shes with me.at least i have drawers full of panties and nylons,she came across my forms,shoes dresses skirts blouses bras ect,she didnt make a big deal out of it.I told her i have dressed all my life and could not change because i love it so much.so i want her to suggest i do it because she knows how much it means to me.at least i dont have to worry if she finds something fem laying around.that used to scare the hell oout of me before she knew.Now i keep totally smooth and luv it,that means a lot to me also.I learned one thing is to not push on these woman.

Luv your avitar.you got a great start just be patient i think it works better.

[kimdl93]

Early on in our relationship my wife said she was ok with panties, stocking, slips etc,but less ok with me in a dress. At the time it wasn't a problem for me, because I had a hard time imagining myself fully dressed. Not that I didn't want to...I just feared I would look absurd. Over time, however, I grew more comfortable with myself and started to experiment. She knew about the forms, wig and make up, but never asked to see it.

After talking with her about it, she agreed to let me dress fully in her presence. She knew it was important to me and wanted to accommodate my needs. There's more to that story, but I've related it before if your curious.

[Beverley Sims]

You can introduce the other items albeit slowly and still be accepted.
My only hurdle is sometimes wearing my wig out.
This puts a damper on going out together.
On holidays away from home.... Fine. :)

[lucy_miller]

I realize there is a big difference for her between wearing female clothes and wanting to look like a woman, however, it just means I hide part of who i am because rather than be as open and honest as i'd be happy to be

[Badwolf]

I agree with Kate much more than everyone else, don't hide what you WANT. Accept other people's lines.

[Aubrey]

Lucy - I don't know how you do it. I feel extremely uncomfortable being seen half dressed. Once I start going en fem, I usually do not like to even look in the mirror until I have my wig on :)

I know that a big fear of many SO's are that we are going to fully transition and your male self will be no more. In a way they lose their man. This may be related to that.

And Lucy - GREAT dress in your avatar!

[prettytoes]

I wear panties 24/7 (most are much sexier than what my wife wears), sports bras and for working out, I normally lounge in capris, ladies shorts, or yoga pants; I sleep in women's PJ's or a chemise, my toenails are usually colored, and I don't hide any clothing. I have quite a collection of skirts (athletic and casual), a few dresses, and a drawer full of bras.
She has asked to not see me in a skirt or dress, so that part of my wardrobe is reserved for my "alone" time. Also, no wigs, fake boobs, or makeup (other than some clear mascara) around her.
I have no problem honoring her wishes; she is very understanding overall.

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, I think you're making a mistake, Lucy. Sneaking around and hiding things from your SO.

If u get caught, it mite be much worse than confessing your desires now. Why not work out a compromise? DADT arrangements work for many of us here. Not perfect, but better than sneaking, hiding, guilt, bla, bla, bla!

[lingerieLiz]

For my wife seeing me looking like a woman is a turnoff. On the other hand my wearing women's clothes doesn't bother her. In my case I lost interest in trying to pass, but openly wear fem clothes. I'm me and interface with the same people no matter what I have on. I've never been someone who went out to town to dress.

[Jenniferathome]

Lucy, you are on a slippery slope. Your wife THINKS all you do is wear clothes. When you are discovered, and you will be, how will she react?

[Nadya]

I would probably introduce those hidden items slowly to her. Gradually will be less shocking to her and will give her to cope with it. If she finds out all at once, it could be ugly.

[Jenniferathome]

Ryce, one can not "leak" this information. That results in more partial truths which are really lies. In cross dressing, it's a "rip the band aid off" world.

[lucy_miller]

Thanks, it all seems like good advise, I'm probably going to have to come to terms with the line in the sand, its more than i originally hoped for.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Lucy, you are on a slippery slope. Your wife THINKS all you do is wear clothes...

I've been in this place and spent the first half of my marriage thinking exactly this. Imagine my surprise when I caught my H in a wig, forms and make-up after a fun day out with friends. I feel sorry for our neighbours back then. I'm sure they still talk about the shouting and insanity that ensued.

Surprises suck. These days, they involve birthdays and cake :)

[Melissa_59]

Not exactly on topic but really close: Something I don't understand is a wife/girlfriend who is ok with her guy wearing:

bras
capris
panties
sports bras
ladies shorts
yoga pants
stockings
slips
etc etc etc

But put on a SKIRT??????? OH MY GOD!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (insert screaming and yelling)

Huh? The rest of those things are about as "girly" as you can get, right? So what's the deal with a dress/skirt suddenly being a deal breaker? And how does said GG feel about guys in kilts? Same screaming and running for the hills?

I honest-to-Petra don't understand that part. I'm completely baffled. I guess you can chalk this up to my complete lack of understanding of people.

~Mel

[Nadya]

Jennifer, I don't agree. I think it depends on the situation which makes things varying shades of gray rather than black and white. While some people may prefer the band-aid approach (which may get equal numbers of positive responses as negative), it also increases the risk of shocking the partner so much they run away screaming. If you tell your partner that you are this way and you slowly share your thoughts and ideas as you grow and mature as a crossdresser maybe there won't be as strong of a repellency effect to it. I guess that's what I was trying to say.

[Tracii G]

What exactly is a "jumper"?
A Brit term for what?

[lucy_miller]

Are those 'jumpers' are things made of wool like sweaters and roll necks

[Maria 60]

When I get a chance to drive dressed, she knows about the wig and forms, I wear make-up at home, but I hide it when I come back. I don't know why it's almost like I am embarrassed of it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lucy, For me it's a DA-DT My wife of 50yrs. knows all about everything I have ,
She just don't want to see me when I'm dressed.

[HelenR2]

Jumper=Sweater, usually wool or a woolen type material.

[Krisi]

Has your wife actually specified what she is and is not willing to see you wearing or are you just making a judgement? Has she told you specifically that she does not want you wearing breast forms or a wig, etc.?

If not, I would try to do this gradually and let her get used to new levels gradually. This is what I did and at this point, my wife is used to seeing me looking like a woman. I'm not sure she really likes it but she tolerates it. We shop together and she picks out blouses and jewelry for me.