Dominant crossdressers?

[Sid]

Apologies for spamming this board with questions, but I'm genuinely interested in learning more.

Is there such a thing as a dominant cross dresser? Or do all m2f cds prefer dressing because it allows them to play a submissive role? When I think of celebrities who cross dress and are still considered attractive and sexy by females, they all seem to be confident, dominant figures that just happen to wear female clothes or make up sometimes (Eddie Izzard, for example). There is a similar trend with drag queens, where they continue to remain in an 'alpha' role, even when dressed (at least the ones that women seem to be drawn to - Lily Savage, for example, I would argue has a very bitchy 'do not mess with me', dominant personality). But a lot of the profiles online seem to be very submissive instead and when I've read about cross-dressing from the POV of wives/girlfriends the genetic girls (hope that's the right term) all seem to have switched over to the dominant role in the relationship. But does it work the other way too? Are there an equal number of dominant cross-dressers compared to submissive ones, or is it just that the well-known cross-dressers are in a minority and just recognised because of their already dominant personalities? Sorry, I know it's a bit of a random question and may not make a lot of sense!

[Beverley Sims]

I think dominant crossdressers have a little different outlook on life to the mainstream crossdresser.

If you read through the forums you should be able to work out what type of person a mainstream dresser might be.

You may find this is the incorrect forum for you to be in.

Otherwise you may fit in well.

[Kate Simmons]

They may say no but some are. Just look at some threads and you will see a sort of "one upmanship" among many CDers. Me? I'm just myself, take it or leave it. :battingeyelashes::)

[devida]

One of the things I most disliked about myself before I realized I was non binary was the violence below the surface of my own masculinity. I really dislike power games and, kinky though I am, I am useless at BDSM. But I was socialized as a predatory alpha male and no matter how femme I look other males tend to defer to me so I am reluctantly dominant. So is my wife which is why we don't participate in the usual power dynamics of many marriages. Even though I consider myself more femme than butch I don't associate being femme with submissiveness, femininity with weakness. A higher primate I may be but I do not have to engage in sex based grooming behavior. I'll leave that to people who like it.

[Nadine Spirit]

Sure, I suppose that I am, and always have been the dominant one in the relationship.

But I suppose that it might depend on how one defines dominant. Overbearing, power hungry, violent? Yeah none of those descibe me. But just because I put on different clothes than society says my gender should wear does not mean that I suddenly become submissive.

So much of the difficulty here is defining terms in a way in which is universally accepted. But I think I get what you mean and thus yes I am.

[Daisy41]

I agree with Nadine. I feel the term "dominate" may have negative connotations here. I feel as if I'm one of the dominant cross dressers. By that I mean I don't play submissive, I make my own path, I pretty much over power the situation I am in. You can pretty much see that when I'm in a group as I want to be the one who's constantly talking and having conversations. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just a person who takes control of the situation a lot because many times in a group no one wants to take action, so I step up.

[Frédérique]

Is there such a thing as a dominant cross dresser? Or do all m2f cds prefer dressing because it allows them to play a submissive role?

MtF crossdressers come in all shapes, sizes, and temperaments. It’s certainly possible to be dominant when MtF. Some prefer a moniker that begins with “b,” something they use as a springboard for their emulation, imagining them as a feminine mutation of something they already are…

That’s not for me, I’m afraid, since I prefer the submissive role. I’m just like that – the femme clothes do not make me submissive. Of course, if an emergency occurs, I ditch that and pronto. Around the house, and out in the world, everyone can be on top (as far as I’m concerned)…
:battingeyelashes:

[CONSUELO]

This is such a complex question and one that is unanswerable using this format.
Dominant in its sexual connotation usually describes someone who likes to be sexually dominant and gains sexual pleasure from being in that role. The classic example is the dominatrix who dresses in leather and likes to inflict pain on a willing submissive.
In everyday life we seem to use the term "overbearing" to someone who likes to impose their will and ideas on people and groups but are these people sexually dominant also?
I know that many cross dressers are sexually submissive. I certainly am and being a submissive can be deeply satisfying but I am not submissive in my public life and most of the time I could be described as assertive.

So, I don't know if there is any straightforward answer to your question. This is where we need the help of an expert such as a trained psychologist.

[Wildaboutheels]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?208133-So-Just-how-straight-of-a-guy-are-you&highlight=hw+straight+of+a+guy+are+you

Surely some of these 328 REPLIES ^^^ might offer some clues as to your question?

[Ressie]

I agree with Kate simmons.

[Rachael Leigh]

What's interesting is when I do dress I seem to feel more dominate even though I may not always project that, never been able to make much sense of it

[Princess Grandpa]

I have a friend. In her feminine form she is a dominatrix. I don't know if she identifies as CD or TS or even if that matters to your inquiry. I know several others with outgoing personalities and dominant personalities.

I know if I thought about crossdressers the sissy type would have been the mental image I had. Certainly there is enough of that type on google searches. Over the last year I have learned much about myself and met a lot of others *searches for the right words* like me. I think you will find there is as much diversity within our community as their is in the vanilla world. There are all personality types.

Hug
Rita

[hope springs]

As others have said, there is no straight forward answer. In the bedroom, im always dominant. Giving directions, pulling hair, a playfull slap on the rear etc. Thats how the wife likes it, even before i came out CD.
In everyday life it depends on the situation. But i get the sense you mean confident and aggressive and defined that as dominant. So if you define dominant that way id say im working toward confidence in my new femme self.

[Katey888]

Sid,

It's a good and understandable question for a newbie - some good answers already... :)

Be wary of the thread that Wild is directing you to - this is referring to sexual attraction and has little or nothing to do with being 'dominant' per se.

It does depend on how you're defining 'dominant'. Your post to me is not emphasising the sexual aspect but more in a personality or life role aspect. I think you'll find a big cross section here, although it will be very difficult to be definitive. I would guess that what you have seen online shows CDs weighted more towards being 'submissive' and that's probably indicative of the population. The very nature of moving from a masculine persona or portrayal to a feminine one would - to me - seem to involve many things that would indicate a more submissive aspect, whether that be in gestures, posture, movement, mannerisms or voice. It must be difficult to portray a feminine aspect with all those things switched to 'male' so to speak... although there are some here who would say that is possible.

It's an intriguing question and if members here see beyond the sexual connotation AND are honest enough for a bit of self-analysis, you might get some interesting replies... :)

From a personal PoV, like most here, I've led a life as a male in a male dominated world and I have to admit that some of the good feeling of presenting female is that of leaving behind the need to be sooo macho. Let's see how others respond... ;)

Katey x

[Badwolf]

My girl likes some dominance at all times so, and I enjoy the role as well.

I do like to take a submissive role sometimes, dressed or not dressed. There is something wonderful about surrendering to the pleasure that is just transcendent. My SO is starting to get into a slightly more dominant role, although I don't think she'd ever be downright aggressive which is just perfect for me.

So I guess I go both ways on this one.

[Lori Kurtz]

My female side is neither dominant nor submissive, nor is she interested in those categories. She is assertive sexually, but she likes the idea of having a male partner who Is equally assertive sexually--she just loves sex, and she is not shy about it. She is proud of her body and the pleasure it can give, and enjoys the pleasure that she also can receive.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There are some. I have met some over the years, it is not as common as being submissive but it is not unheard of.

[CynthiaD]

When I was young, all of the most dominant and admirable people in my life were female. I have never considered the female role to be submissive, or in any way inferior to the male role. If anything, accepting myself as transgendered has made me more dominant, and much more self-confident. Dressing enfemme makes me feel proud to be me. I stand up straight, stick out my chest, and Sally forth to conquer the world.