dsmth
07-09-2014, 06:00 PM
I gathered up my courage today and felt like sharing my unique, for me, moment with someone out there...
I put on some lovely underthings, a simple women's casual t-shirt, an above the knee denim pencil skirt, a simple seashell necklace, wood bracelet, and flats. I put my longish hair partly up. Applied basic makeup of foundation and lipstick. Had my fingernails painted shiny clear and my toenails a "trending" deep sky blue. Threw on a cool pair of sunglasses. And packed a casual shoulder bag (never used by me previously) for the beach. (The hair on my body was tamed earlier in the day.)
Making sure to not be seen by immediate neighbors, I got on my men's bike with a little difficulty due to the unyielding skirt but managed gracefully enough and rode towards a nearby beach by way of city street bike paths, feeling quite self-conscious but happily "free".
When I got to the beach I followed a curving bike path to a shady bench by a not un-populated boardwalk and attempted to read a recently delivered magazine while occasionally observing the passers by for signs of being noticed or talked about. Although I could not manage to feel relaxed I was not stared at or ridiculed or seemingly even noticed (in any obvious way that I was aware of) by the assortment of joggers, couples or mothers pushing baby carriages. Except for one older woman that glanced back in my direction after passing by and twenty-ish paces (oh well, I'm not completely invisible, I thought). Maybe that person will tell her friends what she saw today at the beach and so I will have made my little difference for the better in this world. Better because I was an example of a truth not often, if ever, seen by many. (I don't think that I have ever seen anyone other than a woman in a skirt at that beach before.)
With that last observation of being noticed I decided (unnecessarily) to move. I walked over the sandy beach towards the shoreline of small waves and looked straight up to the beautiful clouds in the otherwise blue sky. This little outing is not so bad I thought.
Finally I decided to head back home on a different path. I got back uneventfully (a good thing!) and after I closed my door, back at home, I felt a mixture of relief and exhilaration and I tried to calm my nerves.
Maybe one day I'll feel more relaxed being myself like this...and I hope the world continues to open up more to us as I think it slowly might be... Maybe my courage to do this sprang partly from the recent Toronto Pride parade with 2 million people in attendance.
I put on some lovely underthings, a simple women's casual t-shirt, an above the knee denim pencil skirt, a simple seashell necklace, wood bracelet, and flats. I put my longish hair partly up. Applied basic makeup of foundation and lipstick. Had my fingernails painted shiny clear and my toenails a "trending" deep sky blue. Threw on a cool pair of sunglasses. And packed a casual shoulder bag (never used by me previously) for the beach. (The hair on my body was tamed earlier in the day.)
Making sure to not be seen by immediate neighbors, I got on my men's bike with a little difficulty due to the unyielding skirt but managed gracefully enough and rode towards a nearby beach by way of city street bike paths, feeling quite self-conscious but happily "free".
When I got to the beach I followed a curving bike path to a shady bench by a not un-populated boardwalk and attempted to read a recently delivered magazine while occasionally observing the passers by for signs of being noticed or talked about. Although I could not manage to feel relaxed I was not stared at or ridiculed or seemingly even noticed (in any obvious way that I was aware of) by the assortment of joggers, couples or mothers pushing baby carriages. Except for one older woman that glanced back in my direction after passing by and twenty-ish paces (oh well, I'm not completely invisible, I thought). Maybe that person will tell her friends what she saw today at the beach and so I will have made my little difference for the better in this world. Better because I was an example of a truth not often, if ever, seen by many. (I don't think that I have ever seen anyone other than a woman in a skirt at that beach before.)
With that last observation of being noticed I decided (unnecessarily) to move. I walked over the sandy beach towards the shoreline of small waves and looked straight up to the beautiful clouds in the otherwise blue sky. This little outing is not so bad I thought.
Finally I decided to head back home on a different path. I got back uneventfully (a good thing!) and after I closed my door, back at home, I felt a mixture of relief and exhilaration and I tried to calm my nerves.
Maybe one day I'll feel more relaxed being myself like this...and I hope the world continues to open up more to us as I think it slowly might be... Maybe my courage to do this sprang partly from the recent Toronto Pride parade with 2 million people in attendance.