Took a risk, it paid off!

[cdkateinboston]

So I've started to date this girl and in the past whenever I've told an SO about my dressing it's been at least months into the relationship and it has yet to go well. So I decided that I would try this one off the bat, since there wouldn't be as much hurt if my dressing was too much for her. Well I got the shock of a lifetime when she just wanted to ask if it meant I was bisexual, and when I told her no she just kind of went on with the day. She thinks it'll be fun to dress with Kaite and called me gorgeous when I showed her a photo! Is this real life?? I've known that there are a lot of girls out there that are open and accepting, I just didn't think I'd find one that I like!

[vallerie lacy]

So happy for you, Kate. I spent many nights praying for an understanding wife. Why I was so lucky I'll never know. Hope you have as much enjoyment with her as I have with mine.

[hope springs]

Recently ive began to think the best solution is speed dating. Just tell her you like to dress, if thats not ok move to the next table. Time spent getting to know them is a waste if CDing is central to your life. Just get it out there and if it isnt ok you havnt wasted either of your time


Edit: congratulations btw it sounds like your offto a great start

[cdkateinboston]

Thanks ladies. I have to admit I've tried this many times, many different ways with many girls, and there is certainly no manual written for this type of thing, but what I noticed was common between it all was the amount of time I would take to finally tell a SO. I begun to feel that they were all hurt cuz they felt like I had been hiding this from them (which I had out of fear), and that in combination with dressing was too much for them. I don't know where it will go with this girl from here, but this is the first time I've ever had a girl that's been ok with it, it's nice to have that convo all ready in the rear view, and it helped me realize that perhaps I had been selfish waiting so long to tell SOs.

[Christen]

Good on you for being upfront. Hope it all goes well!

Christen x

[Badwolf]

Congrats! Relationships are easier when we can present ourselves completely.

[Edyta_C]

Starting a relationship with a clean slate and no hidden agendas makes a much smoother road to travel. Good luck with and accepting girl friend.

Edy

[Jolynn Harrison]

I have to tell you. When I was single after 2 years, I swore off women, and guys do nothing for me. I always had long hair, and a drummer, I was always sort of a pretty boy. So everytime a girl would start talking to me, I always showed them female pix of me. 100% of the time, they were not that impressed and thought I was too different for them. I made some really god friends though. UNTIL ONE Day. I just got in a new band, the bass players brother came to rehersal with this beautiful girl, I thought she was his GF, but we kept staring at each other all thru rehersal, we chatted after, she said they were just friends, So...I showed her some pictures of me, and she really liked it. She came from a shitty marriage too and swore off men for about the same time I did. We started talking at rehersals, and she came into my work on day a few weeks later , past my secretary, asked where I was and we just sat there talking (I own a business) She wanted to ask me out, but danced around it.. so being from Jersey, I just asked her out then....I think we fell in love with each other just as we were getting to know each other. 3 weeks after our first date, we started living together, 2 years later we were married. She loves that I am TS, (she is bi) So I am the best of both words, (she says) We have one closet and she treats me like her girlfriend, We are so happy, and have fun 24/7. She is a model and she got me into modeling a little too. We are all over the place here, My band was playing all over and everyone knew us as a couple with a twist....it's all good.

KATE...These special women are out there, just keep the faith, and wait. She will enter your life when you least expect it.

[Cara Lacey]

After many failed relationships, I decided the next woman I met I would tell her that I was a cross-dresser on day one. So I met Janice, we went out to dinner and went back to my place to meet my cat. I told her I wanted to tell her my deepest darkest secret. We've been married for 12 years!

[Tracii G]

You did the right thing by telling her right off the bat.......... Kudos!!

[Alice_2014_B]

That is awesome!

[RuthWilson]

My goodness! Lucky you!
I cannot be outed and so my wife and children don't know although I have nearly been 'caught' on a few occasions, and have had to explain away things I left lying around over the years.
There is a video on YouTube - My Boyfriend is a Trannie (or transvestite). This perfectly normal girl talks about her boyfriend and there is a video of him/her being dressed up and she is an absolute stunner.
Good luck to you and your wife, and many years of happiness.
Ruth
x

[Katey888]

Well done Kate... sounds like you've happened across a gem... :cool:

Fingers crossed for the future for you both... :D

I'm surprised someone hasn't yet asked: does she have a sister...? ;)

Katey x

[Engendered]

Great job Kate! This is what I like to hear.
Keep it cool. Keep it fun.

[mykell]

hi kate and congratulations,
give her a big ol group :hugs:
seems youve fared well since the roommate situation,
i wish you both much happiness....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, It sounds like the beginning of a wonderful relationship, Just don't overwhelm her with this program.

[jjjjohanne]

I wonder if I had told a girlfriend that I was a crossdresser and she had accepted, what would have happened when the relationship started to dry up. Would I have hung onto a bad relationship because of the crossdressing freedom? The first girl I ever told did not like it. But did not reject me. I never dressed around her. I was against it and hated/loved it then. After we broke up, I think she told some people. I decided that telling girlfriends was not a good idea. Later, when I was ready to propose to my wife, I told her. I was during a purge cycle and my longest non-dressing period in my life so far. She did not like it but accepted me. I think back to old girlfriends and think, "If I had told her, she might have played along... Then what would have happened? She wasn't right for me. But I might have clung to the treasure of a CD outlet."

Joey

[Beverley Sims]

I think luck plays a big part.

[cdkateinboston]

Dear lord the roommate situation has been repressed!! Lol

[ReineD]

I read a study once that found of all the wives who were told after marriage, 40% of them did not seek divorce although no doubt the acceptance levels varied among the individual wives. This was a slightly older study (pre-internet I believe), so I imagine the percentage of women who would not divorce might be greater than that now, due to our society having greater awareness of trans and gay rights.

So if, say, half the married women who find out some years into it do stick around now, I'm guessing that an even greater number of new GGs in any relationship would be open minded since as was mentioned earlier in the thread, they wouldn't feel as if they had been lied to for years. I agree that this seems to be the biggest sticking point for GGs ... the feeling they were betrayed.

And further, if a GG who is new in the relationship has begun to feel sparks ... if she now feels emotionally and romantically attracted to the CDer, my guess is that an even higher percentage will not run to the hills. I'm guessing maybe somewhere from 60-75% will be open-minded? At least?

So people ... don't be afraid of telling your new girlfriends! :)


... and make sure that if you do tell her, you don't go into a Pink Fog afterwards. This can put a serious damper on any relationship, believe me.

[LelaK]

Reine, I guess you would approve of CDs wearing t-shirts that say "I crossdress".

[KiwiKate]

Good for you Kate!

[ReineD]

Reine, I guess you would approve of CDs wearing t-shirts that say "I crossdress".

I don't know if you said this as a joke, but no. I think that unless someone is TS and going full time, it is foolish to announce the CDing to the world ... at least the world that we live in right now. The knowledge can still have a negative impact on jobs and some relationships.

But as I mentioned earlier, if a relationship develops past the casual stage, I think it is foolish to not tell. The alternative is to lie and this tends to have negative results when the GG finds out at a later date. She will feel betrayed and she won't be as open-minded as she might have been in the beginning (provided she is seriously into the CDer to begin with).

[Ressie]

I agree with the title, you took a risk. It would be a great risk if you absolutely didn't want anyone to know your secret. But If that doesn't matter so much, the risk is minimal. It seems the sooner we're upfront the better, when it comes to forming a new relationship.

[LelaK]

I wasn't trying to be sarcastic. I guess I may have sounded that way. I was kidding about wearing a t-shirt that says "I crossdress". But I've had that as my signature for a few months now at least. That's why I said that. And I thought something like that might be good for raising consciousness.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I had also decided the next time I met someone I liked and was willing to take a chance with about my dressing soon after meeting. That ended up being the night we met and just over a year later we married and have been married for 23 years. I am so glad I took the chance. She told me that she would never have guessed just looking at me and talking to me as I looked like (in her words) a " Hells Angel" But, in her defense, the night we met, my truck had broken down and I was greasy and grimy from getting it going again. I had just stopped by a mutual friends place to talk to them a bit on my way home.

[ReineD]

Lol, LelaK, I didn't even notice your signature! :)

[Paula_Femme]

So I've started to date this girl and... decided that I would try this one off the bat, since there wouldn't be as much hurt if my dressing was too much for her. Well I got the shock of a lifetime... She thinks it'll be fun to dress with Kaite and called me gorgeous when I showed her a photo! Is this real life?? I've known that there are a lot of girls out there that are open and accepting, I just didn't think I'd find one that I like!

Congratulations to you BOTH Katie!!! I've always maintained that "Honesty is the best policy" from the get-go, it's great to hear success stories like yours!!! :)

[cdkateinboston]

Fully agree Reine, doing my best to be actively aware that just because she was accepting of it does not give me the right to overwhelm her with it.

[Majella St Gerard]

Good for you, enjoy it. I got lucky too, I met my wife on a free dating site. Through the conversations we had via text and talking on the phone, I thought that she would be open to it, she was very hippie-ish and a free spirit. The second time we slept together, I showed her, she was very cool with it. At the time I was only under dressing, now I wear dresses and skirts, girly shorts, paint my nails and go out in public. she has been very supportive. Hope it all works out for you, like it did for me. Peace and Love.