Self acceptance

[Patty B.]

I've heard it before it s never to late to be yourself. But at age 61 I really feel it is to late to transition and have gone back to fighting what is inside and as it always was before, it is torment. Part of this is fortunately, or unfortunately, I am the type that is good looking as a male, very athletic, could still play ball if I wanted. I wonder if there is a way to be able to accept what could have been, but will never be. Therapist has suggested letting whats inside out and attend group meetings, just such a difference whats on the inside and whats on the outside.

[Emma Beth]

Patty, it really isn't to late. I have seen quite a few ladies here on the forum state it quite often. I'm 44 and I have finally accepted what I am and I am in the process of seeking the help I need to progress and live as the woman I have always been. There are others on the forum that are older than I am and there are others that are younger when they began their journey to womanhood.

I will admit that I wish that I could have begun when I was a lot younger, but there is no sense in dwelling on the past and dreaming of what could have been. Live in the now and work toward the future. You can become the beautiful woman that you are.

Yes, it isn't easy, but what ever is worth having in life ever is. Only you can decide what's best for you, but don't ever live a life of regret. It isn't healthy.

Liz

[stefan37]

It will be too late when you read the obituaries and your name is in them. There was a lady in my group that had SRS last year. She is 71.

[BOBBI G.]

Patty,
It is never too late to be who you feel you should be. In my gender support group, we have one girl 70 years, and then me 71 going on 17. Knowing who you are and owning it will do more for you than just about anything. I envy you. I buried my feeling for so many more years, when I could have been happy and enjoying life.
To coin a recruiting phrase, "Be all you can be".

Bobbi

[Aprilrain]

I thought I was too old when I was 29, five years later it was transition or die. Yeah I wish I'd started earlier but that didn't happen, I just have to be happy with what I got. You need to ask yourself if the torture you are currently experiencing could be any worse than transition, which ain't no cake walk either. Discuss these things with your therapist and talk to as many TSes as you can. Get a feel for the reality of transition.

[Rachel Smith]

I am 59 started transition at 57. I too thought it was too late but I found out it is never too late to be truly happy. Other than the job front I have never been happier.

[kimdl93]

Good advice from your therapist. You may not be able to be all you dreamed of, but you can be some of it.

[I Am Paula]

I started at 55. I just passed my first birthday on hrt. It has been the best year of my life, and my only regret is that I knew what had to be done years ago, and didn't, out of fear, and the expectations of others. Living your dream is buying a sports car, or skydiving. Living you true identity is the valuable goal.

[Patty B.]

Thank you for the replies it always good to hear from others, and I haven't been to my support group since last year, expensive divorce process and all the added costs have precluded this. I still know I need to see the therapist and also return to group meetings which was great when I went. What relief to meet others that have so many like experiences. With the divorce process coming to a conclusion and being in a better financial position will help. My original post early this am wasn't as well formulated as I would have liked, kind of hurried due to weekly family commitment. I'm very well aware of good or even excellent health, and not the greatest financial position, but certainly not the worst by any means and have so much going for me. It has also helped having my adult children my adult children welcoming me back into their lives. Just seem to have that disconnect between what is on the inside and outside.. Once again thanks for your replies. Being of scotch heritage like the Robert Burns quote, heard lots of him growing up father and all the way back all born in scotland'

[KellyJameson]

Self acceptance starts when we stop rejecting aspects of ourselves out of shame. This is true for anyone regardless of whether they are trans or not.

You talk about what is on the inside and exploring that will lead you to a deeper understanding of your gender identity as the gender you identify with and why.

What would you be and what would you do and how would you live if the outside completely reflected the inside?

Let your imagination lead you to your identity but your common sense protect you from your imagination so you know what you want as who you are but also what is and is not possible.

Our true identity lives in our dreams when it cannot be actually lived but the dreams must be about the real and not the ideal otherwise it is fantasy.

[Shapeshiffter]

It's never too late. I'm 60 and loving every minute of my life now.

[Leah Lynn]

Patty, I'm 63, and 9 1/2 months on hrt. I've read of others starting even later... I may not make it to the finish line, but I'm gonna go for it til I die!

Just sayin'...

Leah

[Donna Joanne]

Patty,

I too am a late bloomer...will be 55 in October and on HRT for the past 3 months. If we live to the expected age of 80, that gives me 25 years of the feminine life I have denied myself all the years...and I'd do it all for just a moment if that's all I can have. It's never too late until your dead girl!

[LeaP]

I'll never forget my therapist's reaction when I said it was too late - she laughed!

All things are possible. Find what works.