Do you control your CDing or does your CDing control you?

[Candice Mae]

Just a simple question, I've read it all on here about members going to great lengths to CD. Are you able to say no to your urges and stop? Not for good, but long enough for you explore other things that interest you. Or do you give in and CD as often as possible, letting opportunities to do other things go to waste.

Do you feel comfortable with your self when you can't CD for extended periods of time, or does the absence of CDing drive you do loose your mind?

Does your need to CD serve a purpose? Or do you serve your CDing?

[Alice_2014_B]

I skip opportunities to fully cross-dress in private and to possibly go out.
Sometimes I'll just chill in drab and heels to do homework or something.
Sometimes no heels or anything.
Like to give myself a break here and there; so I guess I control it for the most part.
Interesting question.

[Gardener]

I guess that many of the pictures and accounts on this forum give the impression that you all look very authentic when dressed and that you have great confidence. For me dressing is very much when I can and as much as I feel I want, knowing that I would never pass. I feel very much in control within the context that I have no control or understanding As to why there is this desire in me.

[Adriana Moretti]

great question ...For the most part..with me it is controlled..I can go a while without it and not be cranky...I just went about 2 weeks without a full dress ( does that count?? some days i just slap on some short shorts and a tank , no makeup etc and just workout...I have noticed though that some of my favorite guy hobbies have really been taking a back seat, and sometimes I have to force myself to do them, then when I do..I'm glad I did...but I have to twist my own arm. For me it dosent serve a purpose at all I guess...its just fun.

[Beverley Sims]

Occasionally I get a week or two without dressing, it is a little frustrating but never anything to create mood swings.
I just get on with it as I really do have other things to do.

Dressing is a popular past time for me and not a compulsion.
I may indulge more than the average but there is a life out there to be enjoyed.
I even enjoy my work, it is good to interact with others who probably don't know anything about dressing. :)

[Zylia]

I think that a bit of controllessness comes with the territory, arguably something most transgender people can relate to. Most of us wouldn't be here if we had full control over what drives us to do the things we do.

In my current situation it's not that I can't CD for extended periods of time. As a matter of fact, I probably could CD every day if I wanted to. I simply don't CD for extended periods of time, especially if I don't feel like it, which can last for weeks or even months.

Anyway, my 'need to CD' doesn't serve a purpose, it just is. CD'ing itself fulfils that need when it needs to and turned out to be a fun time-waster for me. It's a form of escapism as much as reading a book or playing a video game.

[Kate Simmons]

CDing is an emotional process driven by deep feelings. It can take on a mind of it's own if control is not exercised and managed. The compulsion can be very strong indeed. The ONLY way I have found to control it over the years is to make it a total choice, so myself, not it, is in charge of what I do. Now whether I do it or not is controlled by me. Interestingly, since I've retired this is my outlook on everything I do and everything I do is my choice to do or not. :)

[Pink Susan]

I wish to dress in a feminine manner , every day . Most times this might be a nice bra , panties , pantyhose , camisole top , blouse , slip, skirt , and shoes with a heel. Why my dressing like this ,is such a problem for people , yet a Girl can wear a check cotton shirt , jeans , boots , wooly socks , masculine underwear etc , without comment , will irritate me , 'till the day I die
i don't even like the term "crossdress " ..if Women are spared this "label" when wearing masculine clothing(and they do ) , why aren't I ??

[lucy_miller]

I would say its a score draw, like many I've purged enough clothes early on having convinced myself I'd never need to dress again to know that I am not fully in control and that i have a requirement to be able to dress. However, I now dress from time to time when it fits in with my home situation, although i always sleep in a silk nightdress which helps. The outlet I'd like more of are those few trips away when I go out as Lucy but these are few and far between.

[Janice An]

I must be under its control. Any time I need to do something that keeps me from dressing I resent it.

[Princess Chantal]

I believe I have full control of my cross-dressing. It is quite rare that I crossdress without a socializing purpose or for a fun outing. I sacrificed my hometime/alonetime dressing to keep a healthy balance. Over do it and good chance that I'll lose interest in the crossdressing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Candice May, I dress at least once a day because I can it's something that I totally enjoy.

[suchacutie]

My life has always been very full and complex, so when Tina arrived and added one more level of complexity, she had to be controlled too, unfortunately.

On the other hand, when a block of time can be made for Tina, the joy is incredible and seems enhanced because it is special.

[kimdl93]

I am never fully comfortable unless I'm dressed, to be honest. And I dress at every possible opportunity. However, this doesn't mean I forgoe others opportunities. Rather, I experience everything that I can en femme.

[Badwolf]

I've gone almost a year without cross dressing. As long as I'm busy it's easy for me not to submit to the urges. On the other hand when there's nothing getting in the way it is one of my favorite "hobby's", and I do work my schedule around it to a point.

[Katey888]

Several questions there Candice - not necessarily simple either...

On control - I am definitely in control of it - have said no at certain times of life for several years but have always come back to it

Do I lose my mind if I can't? No - but it's fair to say that the urge grows and then I've always had an opportunity to go back to it in a controlled way

Does it serve a purpose? For me, I imagine it must, otherwise why would I be drawn to it over and over again? And what would that purpose be...? All I can think is that it somehow satisfies the deep need that I have to express something, even if it's only to myself... or could it be escapism? It could... doesn't seem to last long enough for that to be a reason. I think it's about expression - it has meant more to me since I have been able to share my thoughts and feelings with the wonderful members of this forum and feel that what the reasons behind this weird passion, they are somehow validated by everyone else's shared passion and confusion... :) I also think I'm fortunate in having a very mild aspect of this condition which I can keep well under wraps if necessary... My heart goes out to the folks here who have to somehow make their expression 'public' either to their family or the world at large - and I know many totally embrace that side of things but not everyone can... It's those folk I feel for, as well as those that have to go the whole TS route too... :hugs:

Katey x

[Kyrianna]

I have an addictive personality. If I let it my dressing could get out of control. There are days I would love to have it out of control...but my bank account would not appreciate it.

[PaulaQ]

Last year, I accepted that I am powerless over my gender. I HAD to express myself as a woman, the times when I wasn't CDed were incredibly awful. I knew I couldn't stop CDing - when I realized this it terrified me.

My transition began 5 months later.

[CONSUELO]

A simple question maybe but it goes to the heart of our "condition".
In my experience I have control over things in my life, such as when I exercise or when i need to go and take care of some business. When it comes to my cross dressing I find that it is an impulse over whose strength and timing I have no control whatever. For the past few weeks the "need" to dress has been very strong. It may well wane slightly within the next few weeks. I have no control over the ebb and flow of these deep desires. So where is the control?

[Stephanie47]

There is a vast difference between a man transitioning to a woman, and, a man being a recreational cross dresser. When I was young and time to dress was not afforded me I was also wrapped up in grabbing crumbs of time as they fell into my lap. If I got an hour or two to dress while my wife took the kids to Sunday school/church, there I was dressing and even putting on makeup. I would say that was when cross dressing controlled me. I guess I would compare it to an addiction. There was a period of time I would buy slips and panties on eBay as a substitute for dressing. Thank the gods that is over. Now? I have no burning desire to dress at all. I have not been able to figure out why I have not been compelled to dress, but, then again, I have never been able to figure out why I became a cross dresser. That's life's journey.

[KaceyR]

I can't say for sure. I dress whenever I can..especially when going out and about...even general dinners I friends.
The only time I don't dress while out is if I'm going from work to wherever...(although I use fem jeans and under stuff so I'm pretty much never 100% male anymore). At home I kind of occasionally go 'full dress' but that's my laziness-even drab I'm one just to lounge around in shorts,etc. Same for fem clothes.. So it's hard to say.

Right now I'm doing another full-time Kacey run at a friends lake house... Kacey'd full from Sun thru Wed.
Granted, I still think it's more than simple CDing for me.. So that's one other thing compared to others.

[Confucius]

Great question. However if you ask an alcoholic if he has his drinking under control, most will say they do.

So, if cross-dressing has the ability to mimic the addiction condition then you must ask, what are the signs that cross-dressing is controlling you?

Here are a few signs that cross-dressing is controlling you.

1. You think about cross-dressing all the time.
2. When a good looking young woman walks by, you pay more attention to her clothes than the women.
3. You don't want to do any exercise than will make you look masculine.
4. You have lots of stuff; more shoes, bras, and lingerie than real women.
5. You are spending too much money on your cross-dressing.
6. You are sacrificing your male side to enhance your female side.
7. You are sacrificing your love for your family to enhance your female side.
8. You are sacrificing your career to enhance your female side.
9. You find that you have no hobbies or outside interests other than cross-dressing.
10. You fail to understand how your cross-dressing could adversely affect your wife.

[Badwolf]

Pretty good list Confucius.

[bimini1]

Yes that is an accurate summation of the situation Confucius. A lot of that I would have said yes to in my 20s, 30s. Now that I am approaching 50, I have a hell of a lot more control over than I did then. It still dominates my thought process too much though.

[Desirae]

I have a lot of things I have to do and, unfortunately, CDing doesn't fit into doing any of them really. I still dress daily though, but for lesser amounts of time. I will say that my mind is pretty much filled with thoughts of CDing and other related matter pretty much constantly and at times affects what I am doing in negative ways. I guess that's GD or pink fog or whatever you want to call it.

[Frédérique]

Do you feel comfortable with your self when you can't CD for extended periods of time, or does the absence of CDing drive you do loose your mind? Does your need to CD serve a purpose? Or do you serve your CDing?

Maybe I once “served” my crossdressing, but I no longer do. I think this site cured me of that… :straightface:

[ange_o]

I have been thinking about this a bit recently. Looking at the list above I'd say I'm a match for the first 5 items easily. With the amount I'm thinking about CDing lately and buying clothes to support it, yet without an opportunity to indulge it I'd definitely say it's controlling me.

[donnalee]

Actually, I pursue other interests while dressed (I dress close to 24/7). I'm retired, live alone and have taken pains that equipment to pursue them is close to hand; I get out about once a week, mostly medical appointments, but go in drab. Mostly this is due to a desire not to complicate my outside life more than I have to. I've lived in this area better than 40 years and am well known in the area. I also have a lousy memory for faces, so when someone calls my name, I may not recall theirs.

[Seana Summer]

, what are the signs that cross-dressing is controlling you?



So far I can say that Crossdressing dose not control me. It is one of my favorite past times, but it is one of several.

[Krisi]

I control my crossdressing, it does not control me.

[Tami Monroe]

I control my CDing, as I rarely do it during the summer months.

[Mia27]

I'd say i'd control it up to the point until i start dressing up. Once i start dressing up, i become all happy and crazy. I want to try on so MANY clothes. I want to take photos, and be as girly as possible! So i guess i'd say its a 50/50 control, in the end. Haha:)

[Kati F]

Like most other people I like to think I control the cross dresser lurking inside of me ...and I like to think that CDing doesn't control me but when I think about it, there really are some subtle ways that CDing does control me.

There are things that most us do (and don't do) in life that we only do for the dresser in us. Many things that men who don't CD would probably never do... and for some of us they become lifetime habits. Those little things like shaving my legs, not growing facial hair, keeping brows plucked and all those other girly things that so may of us do... I've even recently been on a diet that was mostly driven by the cross dresser me (it does feel good to be fitter).

[Miss Interpretation]

I would say I'm pretty in control of my CDing, but I also think my desire to dress and express the ultra-feminine part of myself is probably less than others on this forum.

I go through cycles, usually every 1-2 months, where I feel the need to dress. When this happens I'll dress usually just for a weekend. However, when I do, I usually go all out, including shaving my whole body, makeup...the whole nine yards. Then, by Monday, I return back to my regular self, only to continue again after a month or two.

I think this need to go full out is a "build up" of the desire to express this part of myself over time. I guess my metaphor for it is a pressure that builds up, eventually coming to a head and releasing itself. I don't think it's very healthy for me to ignore this aspect of myself for such long periods of time, so I've been experimenting with ways to express the feminine parts of myself without needing to go full CD mode.

[danielletorresani]

My CDing is definitely more in control of me than the other way around. That's why I see it as unhealthy for me, though I do enjoy the hell out of it.

[Davida Kay]

I'm striving for balance in life in general. I cannot live a connected loving life, if I am giving all my time to Davida. So for me, Davida gets as much time as I can give her while keeping male obligations that are healthy and important to a balanced, healthy life! Perfect? No. Plenty of times I blow things off to be Davida. But it is always a choice.

[amandagurl2014]

For me, it's controlled and balanced for the most part.

[Teresa]

Candice I posted a thread a while ago about being lazy or things changing. I've lost interest in wanting to do male things to prove something, CDing is meaning more to me so I guess it's taking over. The other problem I have is it was and still is sexual so I can't go too long before I'm climbing the walls !
I try not to let it take over so the best solution is to be able to combine it with my passion for painting, it certainly helps my brushwork ! but at the moment my wife has other ideas ! The house takes priority !

[deebra]

YES CDing controls me and it starts with the pink fog, I give in and usually push the limits further each time such as where I go and what I wear in public. I feel so good while doing it and after it's over.

[immike]

One of life's pleasures when you live by yourself&own the house is being able to dress when you like? One of my prime pleasures is preparing the coffee pot,then carefully put on my pantyhose,walk into the closet&pick out a short mini skirt&
slide into into it&pick out a soft,silky blouse&step into my black 4'' heels&put on my blonde wig&do my makeup(:)

[natcrys]

In my current situation I am able to pretty much plan my crossdressing-related activitities, such as my shopping, my socialising with other T*-friends, my photo/video-shoots, going to parties, etc. And it is this fact that actually gives me a lot of mental rest and that.. in turn.. makes it possible to control and guide it.. knowing that there will always be moment not too far in the future where I can dress up again! :)

And sure, in theory.. this also means I could go weeks (or even months) without dressing, but then I will start to get antsy and restless. :p

Fortunately, other activitities such as online-shopping, editing my pictures/videos, working on my blog and staying in touch with my T* friends helps a lot to bridge the actual crossdressing moments!

So to answer your question, I like to think that these days.. I control my crossdressing.


EDIT. I didn't see Confucious' list and I don't know how serious I should take this list or just with a little bit of humour. :)

While I guess most points in their current wording are open doors,... I do disagree with a few points.


1. You think about cross-dressing all the time.

How is that defined? As in the only thing? I think about crossdressing all the time... as in every day a few times.. , but I also do that about music, sports, video games and science.


2. When a good looking young woman walks by, you pay more attention to her clothes than the women.

I don't think this means crossdressing is controlling me. It means I can actually appreciate both the woman and her outfit.


3. You don't want to do any exercise than will make you look masculine.

For real? I also don't do heavy weights training, because that will make me slower with karate. Is karate controlling me as well? Or do I take care of my body in a way that fits with my life's activities.

And by this reasoning, one could say a CD is controlled by crossdressing for wanting to shave the legs and the facial hair? :rolleyes:



4. You have lots of stuff; more shoes, bras, and lingerie than real women.

Define real women. :p


5. You are spending too much money on your cross-dressing.

If you're spending money that should be spent on food, rent, kids, education.. agreed.


6. You are sacrificing your male side to enhance your female side.
7. You are sacrificing your love for your family to enhance your female side.
8. You are sacrificing your career to enhance your female side.

How would these points work in an actual scenario? I guess.. if you already use the word "sacrifice"... it's not gonna be a good thing, eh?


9. You find that you have no hobbies or outside interests other than cross-dressing.

I know lots of people who have but just one passion. Are they controlled by that one thing?


10. You fail to understand how your cross-dressing could adversely affect your wife.

That's being called inconsiderate or being in a pink fog.

[chloe44c]

Yes there are times where it controls me to the point of exploding. At that point I know I need to take some deep breaths and get myself dressed.

I am getting better at anticipating these feelings and trying to avoid the explosion. I have been very lucky to have a friend that has helped me when she notices I am on edge and tells me I need to get dressed.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Last year I successfully stopped from May-Sep and had a CD free Summer. This year I stopped in Apr and won 't resume until after Labor Day. How's that for control? I will admit that I think of it often, and can't wait to don my hose, heels and dresses in about 6 weeks!