Out of sight out of mind

[njcddresser]

I understand that many CDs have a DADat relationship with their wives in respect to their crossdressing. I came out to my wife about 8 months ago and our relationship has evolved more into an out of sight out of mind relationship.

I've been 100% honest with her in regard to my crossdressing. She understands and respects my need to crossdress and is generally supportive. She has bought me make up, clothes and shoes and we've gone shopping together many times.

I do wear panties 24/7 and once in a while I'll put on a bra / forms while she's home. Also, I have several women's sleep shirts and wear one most nights when going to sleep.

Where she has drawn the line is that she prefers not to see it. I respect this and do most of my dressing when she's not home. We have different days off from work so this leaves me plenty of time to be Jackie.

When I've gone out enfemme, I've gotten dressed while she was at work and she was asleep when when I got home.

Two weeks ago the two of us went to a drag show at a local gay bar. It was the fist time that I / we have gone. We discussed whether I should go enfemme. Since it was the first time going, we decided that I should go in DRA B mode and kind of check things out before deciding to go enfemme. The show was ok and there were about 10 girls out of about 75 people there. I'd have liked to have been dressed but I was ok not.

I did put on a little eye shadow, eye liner and mascara and dressed a little metrosexual but was wearing DRAB clothes.
I'm curious to hear from others who have an out of sight out of mind relationship with their wife's or SOs.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jackie, My wife knows all about my three closets full of clothes , all my wigs and the 130+ pairs of shoes

It's a DA/DT kind of thing , She just don't want to see me when I'm dresses.

I know my boundaries and stay within them and life is great.

[deebra]

Njcddresser, tell her how much it means to you to dress and you would appreciate her going along with you adding a little more each time with the goal being her acceptance. By the way your avatar shows a very feminine, attractive woman that will pass and not embarrass her.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

By the way your avatar shows a very feminine, attractive woman that will pass and not embarrass her.

It's the OP who will avoid embarrassment. As a wife, to have others see your husband as a GG is not usually high on the 'to do' list! I'd be absolutely certain she's ready for that little head spin or she may never see her husband the same again, even when in drab.

Njcd, just be sure it's okay with your wife first, that's all. She obviously has a strong reluctance to seeing you dressed, as I do my H. Talk to her about what this really means and you'll be fine :)

[herwannabe]

I guess I have the best of both worlds. I dress everyday/night. She has no problem with my other side. I wear a nightgown to bed every nite. I have a very nice bikini line goin. I wear a dress or a skirt all the time at home. She gives me manicures, pedicures, facials etc. She buys me clothes, shoes etc. We talk and joke about my fem side, I am truly blessed with the woman that I found and married.

[Angie G]

I've been out there dressed at home from the time I told her. She's awesome.:hugs:
Angie

[AprilMayy<3]

I still live with my sister and mother since I'm only 18, but there is a "out of sight, out of mind" system in place. I have a lock on my door, so when I dress I lock it, and when the door is locked they know to give me a minute to be a guy again. It works well, but I would like to be more open about it. Doesn't really work when I come home from the mall with feminine items and have to try to hide the bags as soon as I walk through the door.

[Jaylyn]

I really don't have the do and don't tell thing but I've believe that she married a masculine guy and not a femme nine guy that I should present as much as I can masculine. She has bought me Christmas and birthday gifts such as dresses hose and we have even makeup shopped together. I can kinda sense when she wants a man and when she doesn't care what I wear. I love her and want her to know I'm still the guy the married but just have that other side that is tender and loving also.

[MsVal]

I agree that it is important to respect the wishes of a wife/SO/girlfriend. You seem to have a situation where you that can be done with minimal interference with dressing.

My wife and I are still in love after nearly 30 years. She too has also accepted that this is a part of her husband and is surprisingly supportive. There are limits, however. MsVal is not welcome in the bedroom, and she is not to be seen by the children. I honor those limits because I love my wife, respect her, and want to protect her feelings.

This presents a bit of a problem. We have a grandchild and two adult children living with us. The adults work different shifts and the little one is here all the time. The limit effectively means I cannot dress at home. I do manage an occasional couple of hours if/when my wife takes the little one shopping or to the playground.

There are weeks at a time where I have no opportunities to dress and it does bother me. When I think of the concessions my wife has made and the love she has shown, I realize that we both have to make compromises, and this is mine.

With my wife's encouragement I went out for the first time Saturday. I had a good time at a transgendered group's picnic, socializing with others with shared interests. This is something I will certainly be doing again.

Best wishes
MsVal

[CynthiaD]

If your wife is discussing whether or not you should be en femme when you go out together, perhaps her attitude is changing.

[Windsong]

As I am a new member and cannot start a thread at this time I would like to share my thoughts so far as a SO. As far as DADT.... that is how it is right now because I am needing time to get to know this other person who came out to me about 3 months ago. The relationship is fairly new, a great friend for 6 months before we started dating last Xmas so I am still getting to know the person I fell in love with. I feel like I don't know this other person at all... THE HARDEST THING IS TO GET MY HEAD AROUND THE PERSONALITY CHANGE WHEN HE/SHE IS DRESSED???? INITIALLY I FROZE AND WENT COLD. THIS HAS CHANGED MY EMOTIONAL REACTIONS AS WELL AS MY PHYSICAL FREEDOM TO BE ME NOW...I DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT NOR WHAT IS COMING NEXT....VERY SAD AS I DONT THINK WE WILL EVER GET BACK TO THOSE WONDERFUL FIRST 'MONTHS' OF HAPPINESS. But we are sharing our love of clothes and I surprised us both the other day whilst shopping when I asked my partner, "Do you think (her name) would like this"? It just popped out of my mouth and we were both shocked for a moment till he replied...YES! We both smiled and then broke into laughter. IS THERE HOPE FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP??????

[Krisi]

If you are wearing a bra and forms when she is home, she is already seeing your crossdressing. Does she say anything about you wearing forms or give you dirty looks? What else are you wearing at the time?

If this doesn't seem to bother her, maybe you could push the line with a bit of jewelry or a woman's top that's not too feminine (not pink with ruffles). Get her used to this and then add women's jeans and flats. Just small changes, all the while monitoring her attitude and comments.

This may work or it may not. It's worth a try though.