If dressing makes you feel better.......

[Kate Simmons]

Many times on here folks (mostly men) will express how they are feel good when they dress up. If dressing makes one feel better, you would think that would work for women too. I hardly ever hear a woman say: "I dressed to the nines and I felt great." I think all in all women just want to look nice when they make the effort. What is it that makes CDers say they feel wonderful when they dress? After all they are just clothes, Right?:battingeyelashes::)

[Jaylyn]

I really (and my opinion is based on watching my wife of forty two years) feel that women are trained from birth to be something they can't be. They are bomb barded with TV ads all the time that are skinny gals and they must have this or that figure to look pretty. I am amazed daily that I tell my wife how pretty she is and her eyes just twinkle now. It wasn't always like that. When I would say those words at first she would always start giving me her flaws. Women see so many beauty products, new diets, and movie stars getting paid to say "I lost hundreds of pounds and take this daily and now I'm so happy blah blah blah," that women are conditioned to never feel they are good enough. I was a teacher and the rich kids had zit removal done and the poor kids didn't and I saw this feeling in girls starting even back when my own daughters were growing up. They had to have certain clothes, makeup, and even tampons to be with the in crowd and feel accepted. You are right in my opinion they are all just clothes. We males feel pretty in just about any thing and that is because we didn't have to grow up fighting to be pretty and feel good about ourselves.

[Krisi]

They may be "just clothes" to some, but for me it's the long hair, the breasts and the hips and thighs. The clothes are nice too, along with the jewelry, but as long as I have the first three, I'm happy.

[NicoleScott]

I hardly ever hear a woman say: "I dressed to the nines and I felt great."

That's because they hardly ever dress to the nines.

[Seana Summer]

They are just cloths.......but they are also an indulgence for me. A rare pampering. A chance to wear soft nylon and silk. To wear things not for function but to decorate ones self.

As a male you could get your nails done and in theory it would be socially acceptable as long as you didn't color them and kept them short. But it is rarely done, I think because we are not suppose to be pampered.

It feels good to be pampered

I get no such pampered feeling from chocolate and flowers but I know many GG's who, I think, get the same sort of pampered feeling from having those items, even if they have to buy them for themselves.

I recently treated myself to some new nylon stockings and a pair of shoes. Wearing them is nice (very nice actually) but receiving the package was just as much of a high for me.

[Martha G]

It relieves stress and I feel so relaxed. I also look 10 to 15 years younger.

[CynthiaD]

When I dress, especially with breastforms, it's a symbol that I can stop pretending to be something I'm not and can start just being me. It's a thousand times easier to deal with the world and all it's troubles if you don't have to do it while balancing on a tight wire. That's what male-mode feels like to me, because I'm never sure how to react to stressful situations. I especially have a hard time figuring out what's supposed to make me mad, what I'm supposed to ignore, what's supposed to provoke an annoyed reaction, etc., etc., etc. In female mode, I can just act normal, and not have to worry about it.

I doubt that dressing to the nines would have the same effect for GG's.

[PaulaQ]

We experience gender dysphoria - that's why dressing up makes us feel better. Our minds feel some (varying with individual) amount of pressure when presenting as a male. We need girl time to fix that. Genetic women don't suffer from this, thus they don't feel anything other than the thrill of looking nice, perhaps. Or I should say, that if genetic women feel this same pressure, they present as FtM...

[Eveyorkuk]

Of course they are just clothes. Perhaps they just feel so nice precisely because they are not purely functional or a practical neccessity. I live the feel of a bra and slip against my bear skin, which is a vast improvement on the male garb I society expects, if not demands, I wear. :-)

[Nikki A.]

I don't know Kate. I know a few women when they really dress up feel good about themselves if they think that they nailed their look.
We are just more open about it because for us it is something new and different and we post it on here.

[BillieAnneJean]

IF you could talk you closest GG in to getting dressed up and going out, and IF she opened up about her thoughts, you MAY hear a list of her appearance inadequacies. BUT once she let herself go and stopped comparing herself against the nearby GGs, she MIGHT have fun. My SO goes through that process each time, more or less. And she is VERY accomplished, VERY successful, VERY smart, VERY interesting, and VERY pretty. But she still has a list. I think she should be able to find NO shortcomings but compared to artificial/retouched women in the media, she always can.

When I get dressed enfemme, I don't have to compare myself against anyone else. I KNOW that I am never going to look as good as most of the GGs so why bother. I am not bombarded on a continuous basis by media offering ways to spend some money and time to improve my appearance. But as a man I am not so much measured for success by looks as by my accomplishments and net worth, both earned in my case. A woman can accumulate success and net worth in the same way as a man, my SO did. And both can accumulate it by inheriting it. And both can acquire it via marriage. But men do not give credit to another man who acquires his "success" via marriage. For women that is not the case. If you are pretty enough, and marry your prince, you too can be the royal. I offer Kate Middleton/Windsor as proof of that. Or Diana. And on and on. Women seem to consider status, wealth, success as the same whether earned , married , or inherited. Not so with guys. We tend to respect it only if it was earned. So for women, looking good is another tool in their arsenal to get what they want, if they choose to use it. As a guy I don't have that advantage/cross to bear.

So when I get dressed, it is without that pressure. And really, anything enfemme is "to the nines" compared to my guy life in gray, black, navy blue, and occasionally in the summer, tan. So I am always having SUCH FUN!

And tomorrow I am going to be OUT enfemme from 11:00am to about 1:00am. In corset, forms, heels, stockings, makeup, false eyelashes, false nails, shoes and purse to match and coordinated with my dress, a matching floppy hat, a wispy summer dress, bling, "to the nines". Changing in to another outfit for dinner, changing in to club wear after dinner. Nines time three equals SUCH FUN!

So I can just enjoy it.

[CONSUELO]

Well I know lots of women who spend a lot of time selecting their clothing and jewelry and love to look very good when they go out in public. I'm sure many of you have been to weddings and notice that it is not only the bride who tries to look her absolute best on the day.
My SO has told me that one of the reasons she tries to dress well is to appear attractive to men.
I would like to hear the GG's comment on this.

[Brianna_H]

I'm really wrestling with where all this is going for me, but I can say this:

The first time I put on a skirt made out of a ripped up t-shirt, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Eyeliner and lipstick? I just can't stop smiling. It just feels like such a relief, so harmonious.

I spent the first couple of days this week entirely in drab and started to feel really stressed. I noticed many ways I constantly edit myself. "Don't hold your hand like that, that's gay." Etc. So yesterday, after work and exercise, I asked my SO if she was cool if I dressed a bit. She is really cool, but I still want to give her a warning when I want to dress.

I put on the skirt and a comfy top, my necklace, some lipstick and eyeliner and there was my smiling face again. It felt great. So, for me, it's like getting a puzzle piece in the right place instead of living with the convenient, yet unsatisfying misalignment.

I think I'm transgendered, rather than being a crossdresser, strictly speaking. Still working it all out.

[Katey888]

Kate - maybe you're just not spending time with the right women... ;)

I'm sure there are many women who like that feeling when they get the opportunity to make the effort - I know my wife does... But ordinary life for most folk doesn't bring those opportunities nearly frequently enough... We have an advantage there - we can fabricate that justification any time we want to dress... a lot of us don't even need an event or real reason - we can just do it at home!! :lol: We really are Martini girls... ("Anytime, anyplace, anywhere..." ;))

How wonderful for us is that...? :)

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of good responses my friends. Keep them coming. They help to inform our FAB friends as to some of our motivations for doing what we do. I personally just like dressing and have fun with it. Not to mention that I am somewhat of a "ham" when I'm performing. I also just don't dance at the club, I more or less act out the songs while dancing. :battingeyelashes::)

[Chari]

It is more than "just the clothes", and IMO fashion continues to prove that statement! Consider how often fashions change within a year for women, while the lonely male has very few choices to look good in soft silky garments with unique colors and textures that are at times a bit revealing of the body. If feminine fashion decides to "borrow" some male item, that item quickly becomes an acceptable fashionable fad for women, like the "boyfriend" sweaters, Tee's, undershorts, jewelry, to name a few. The poor male however should never wear anything too femme as society will ridicule him! My preference is to ALWAYS be comfortable and confident in whatever I choose to wear, no matter what mode I am presenting. Enjoy.

[paulaprimo]

because women get to dress as women everyday so it probably gets boring for them after awhile.
the fact that i can't has me jonesing if i go more than a week without dressing. so when i do get
the chance to dress, i appreciate it and it does make me feel good... :)

[natcrys]

Interesting! :)

Most GG's I know are very busy with their careers.. and those careers are usually either with technology-related companies.. or doing their PhD in science and technology.

Especially the ones in academia, 90% of their time.. they just dress in jeans and shirts and sneakers, because that's just the most comfortable way to work. The GG's working for companies only dress up a bit if they need to look professional for a presentation or when clients visit the office. They tell me that when they come home.. they just want to kick their shoes off, have a drink and food and relax for the rest of the evening. :)

Now, they all know that I crossdress.. and they will "use" me as an excuse for dressing up. They will wear a pretty dress, put on make-up and even heels.. and then we go out and have a good time! :D

They always say that it's too much of a hassle.. but when they look at themselves after dressing up.. they look so happy! I don't need a lie detector to see that they feel better than before they dressed up!

Now, I don't have GG friends who are in fashion or in law/business/marketing.. you know, the kind of jobs where women are more likely to wear dresses and heels. And I have no idea if dressing up even more makes them feel better.

This is just what my GG friends tell me. :)

[Teresa]

Kate you may have seen my thread asking why it " Feels so Good ". I didn't dress for a week because of being on holiday. I felt so-so when I returned until I put the forms in my bra, then it got better, they're not just clothes to you, it's Kate ! To me it's Teresa !
Women do like to dress up, but they don't usually comment how good they look, they leave that to us ! The problem with that is she may be thinking hands off these are mine !!
Men can't win especially CDing ones !!

[Wildaboutheels]

The last time I checked, very few women used clothing articles to help them [feel "good enough" to] get to the promised land...eventually.

And speaking of clothes, SOME of the clothing articles available to women are as likely to be seen in the P&V gallery as they are to be found on hookers, porn stars or centerfolds.

Probably just a mere coincidence.

Being born a man is a tough job for sure.

The feeling good part is simply our male brains releasing various "feel good" chemicals into our bloodstream. Which is one helluva better deal than drooling just from hearing a whistle like Pavlov's dogs.

[Eryn]

For me, it is somewhat like a vacation from the responsibilities of being my male self. Like any vacation, one can concentrate on things different than those in one's regular life. I can interact with people in ways that are impossible in Testosteroneland.

There is a saying, "familiarity breeds contempt," which I think is a good description of GG attitudes toward dressing in feminine fashion. They can do it any time they wish so there is little that they see that is special about it. It involves additional effort and less comfortable to dress up so GGs often opt for the comfy jeans and T-shirt.

Self-image is also part of it, and some GGs have difficulty with the fact that they cannot match the photoshop model standard. Their attitude becomes "why even make an attempt?" CDers come equipped with rather rosy glasses and have lower expectations for our appearance so any improvement through dress is seen as a positive.

[AKADonna]

Watching my wife tale 1/2 hour to apply her makeup each morning, I am sure that she really want to project the best possible appearance when she goes out of the door to work. , When she's home, she could care less! I think that women dress for the audience or the situation in order to "feel good" in that place.

For me, in my dressing, since I have to spend 45 minutes or more just applying makeup in order to feel that I have a satisfactory look, I do it very infrequently. In fact, I have become much happier simply underdressing when going out and when I'm home alone, dressing up in skirts, tops, camis, slips, etc. is quite enough for me to "feel good"!

[kimdl93]

Whole different set of dynamics. For CDrs, it's seldom really 'just clothes'. Males who dress may feel 'better' because they are using clothes to tap into an inner need or desire. There may be a measure of comfort in dressing to create a surrogate female companion, or they may experience some relief from GID by dressing in a manner that feels closer to their internal selves.

[Alice_2014_B]

It's mainly because women get to dress as women, for the most part, everyday.
But for cross-dressers, especially part-timers, it's just more exciting.

[devida]

Nah, every woman I know well enough to be able to tell really enjoy looking good, like clothes, like the presentation, like whole deal. They do it for themselves, they do it for other women, they do it to impress men. My mother, my daughter, my two wives, my friends all love or loved to strut just as much as anybody I see on this forum. Moreover they all have loved it throughout their lives at all their ages. I missed out on a whole lot of pleasure dressing in boring drab for so many years. I am happy to try to catch up!

[ophelia]

Here's an interesting thing. In the Fall I went to Montreal, to the "gay"village" to get the works.....super highlughts, feminine cute, beautiful makeup and the people who did such a marvelous job turning me into Marylin Monroe's younger sister were so nice, and accepting, and almost blase...that a bit of the thrill, the danger, was diminshed. As therainbow flags fly higher and more often across North America will that energy of doing something werboten kill the thrill as BB King sings?

Roosevelt speaks truth tothe girlyman

[Jenniferathome]

... If dressing makes one feel better, you would think that would work for women too. ...

No Kate, one would not think that. The women to whom you re referring are not cross dressing. You can't relate the two things.

[ReineD]

... that women are conditioned to never feel they are good enough.I totally agree with you that we are pelted with a rather fake ideal of what it is to be a beautiful woman, from the time we are young. It actually begins with the Barbie doll and her unrealistic body. So it is not surprising that many women are critical of themselves. Most of us do tend to outgrow the self-criticism though, as we age or as we gain more self-confidence.



I'm never sure how to react to stressful situations. I especially have a hard time figuring out what's supposed to make me mad, what I'm supposed to ignore, what's supposed to provoke an annoyed reaction, etc., etc., etc. In female mode, I can just act normal, and not have to worry about it.I understand that you wish to present as a female. But can you not be your same self when you do present as a male? I assume you mean having qualities such as being kind, selfless, nurturing, not so competitive perhaps, etc. Can you not react to all situations as you do when you are dressed? If something doesn't make you angry when you're in male mode, then maybe you're just not angry.




My SO has told me that one of the reasons she tries to dress well is to appear attractive to men.
I would like to hear the GG's comment on this.I agree that our very basic, fundamental nature as hetero human beings is to appeal to the opposite sex. We do want to find mates. And for many women (and men) that wiring never changes although the need to appear enticing in a sexual way (or for a man, to chase) tends to generally diminish with age. :p

For a fancy occasion, a young woman is more apt to dress like this (http://www.dhresource.com/albu_256643632_00-1.0x0/women-s-summer-sexy-drape-tight-fashion-dress.jpg). While an older woman will generally be more modest (http://dress-dress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/cocktail-dresses-for-women-over-50-Luxury.jpg). And there is every age, body type, fashion style, and ways to send different messages in between.

But I think that a woman doesn't have to try so very hard to be appealing to men. Men notice attractive women, no matter how they're dressed. It's more about the face and the body, I think, than it is about the clothes for most men, even though I know that crossdressers are generally attracted to the clothes. I'm in my 50s now, but I did turn a few heads when I was younger. It didn't seem to make any difference what I wore.



Especially the ones in academia, 90% of their time.. they just dress in jeans and shirts and sneakers, because that's just the most comfortable way to work. The GG's working for companies only dress up a bit if they need to look professional for a presentation or when clients visit the office. They tell me that when they come home.. they just want to kick their shoes off, have a drink and food and relax for the rest of the evening.How true!




Self-image is also part of it, and some GGs have difficulty with the fact that they cannot match the photoshop model standard. Their attitude becomes "why even make an attempt?" CDers come equipped with rather rosy glasses and have lower expectations for our appearance so any improvement through dress is seen as a positive.This is true as well.






They are just cloths.......but they are also an indulgence for me. A rare pampering. A chance to wear soft nylon and silk. To wear things not for function but to decorate ones self.
The first time I put on a skirt made out of a ripped up t-shirt, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Eyeliner and lipstick? I just can't stop smiling. It just feels like such a relief, so harmonious.
And tomorrow I am going to be OUT enfemme from 11:00am to about 1:00am. In corset, forms, heels, stockings, makeup, false eyelashes, false nails, shoes and purse to match and coordinated with my dress, a matching floppy hat, a wispy summer dress, bling, "to the nines". Changing in to another outfit for dinner, changing in to club wear after dinner. Nines time three equals SUCH FUN!
But for cross-dressers, especially part-timers, it's just more exciting.

Spoken like true crossdressers! :D But although we GGs do enjoy dressing up, and of course the degree and frequency of dressing up depends on social circumstance and age, I don't think we ever feel the same way or as strongly about it as you do.

[Teresa]

Reine can you explain why my wife along with with most women don't dress down when they go for a girl's night out ?
She still wears as much makeup and usually her latest perfume and outfit ! When I comment on how nice she looks she usually says they're not new things, she tends to forget I know her wardrobe as well as she does !
Do you have that problem as well ?

[Confucius]

When a male non-cder wears pretty feminine clothes, he doesn't feel anything special, just embarrassment. For him cross-dressing is just a humiliating form of torture which is against the Geneva Convention and was used illegally in Abu Graib prison.

When a woman wears pretty feminine clothes, she doesn't feel excited nor does it raise her sex drive. Women are judged by their appearance so dressing up makes them feel confident, competent, and improves their self-esteem.

When a male cder wears pretty feminine clothing his brain releases a host of neurotransmitters. It's just as if his brain was interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. His brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce the sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, and bonding. It affects the reward centers of his brain, and thus it mimics the addiction response. If he does the same thing over and over again, then his brain will fatigue and release less neurotransmitters. In order to keep the level of neurotransmitters high, he needs to vary the experience with new clothing items, and greater risks. The situation with crossdressers is unique to this group and cannot be compared to the experience by females or non-cders. It only goes to prove that crossdresser's brains are hard-wired differently.

[Betty IA]

Male clothing is rough and bulky. Female clothing is light and tantalizing to more than one sense at a time. That pretty much sums it up. I'm cooler in the summer when dressed properly and even in the winter under a long coat I have found that ladies' clothing feels warmer due to it being more form-fitting and having the extra layer of the forms, bra and wig.

[Isabella Ross]

A strange thing happened when I started to dress openly at home. My wife, a beautiful woman who has long complained about the drudgery of getting ready for work, started to dress up more at home...and really get into. She hasn't done that for a long time. We have date nights at home where we both dress to the nines, and she absolutely radiates beauty. And when we go out to a party or dinner, etc., as a couple (me in man clothes), she makes more of an effort these days...and when I compliment her, she'll say with a wink, "you just wish you could look like me tonight!" Of course, she's right.

[deebra]

CD's feel SEXY when they dress, that's why they dress and it makes them feeeeeel so good and it's also a little bid of doing something that is forbidden. When a man looks at a beautiful, curvy well built woman and her clothes enhances all of this he is very much drawn to what he sees and we as CD's want to be like her as well. Male clothes are just the opposite of hers, dark, rough, loose; where hers are soft, colorful, revealing and hug her body to make her feel very sexually desirable and having this power to attract males and be envious of other females. To look like a calendar girl, yea, sign me up!!!!!

[Kris Avery]

A strange thing happened when I started to dress openly at home. My wife, a beautiful woman who has long complained about the drudgery of getting ready for work, started to dress up more at home...and really get into. She hasn't done that for a long time. We have date nights at home where we both dress to the nines, and she absolutely radiates beauty. And when we go out to a party or dinner, etc., as a couple (me in man clothes), she makes more of an effort these days...and when I compliment her, she'll say with a wink, "you just wish you could look like me tonight!" Of course, she's right.

Bridgette, ABSOLUTELY! That part is hard isn't it?

[Emi_]

Cross-dressing is not therapy and dresses are not anti-depressants. The joy comes from being yourself at your very best and I know that women who look a way that they think is great also express a commensurate joy about themselves. The tendency among cross-dressers is to focus so intensely on their dressing that they amplify the importance of a pile of cloth as if it were manna from heaven.