Deciding How to Present Myself

[AKADonna]

For many years, I have been dressing pretty flamboyantly with very large boobs, lots of makeup in bold colors, short skirts, 3-4" heels, etc. This was my vision of what dressing as a woman was all about. On the couple of occasions where I ventured out like that, I could feel myself attracting lots of attention wherever I went. I have now concluded that those days are over for me! I am 70 years old, 6'1, heavy and have size 14 feet, so passing as a woman is challenging enough without me purposely making it more difficult!

I have been going to Phoebe Cross Makeover Service in Atlanta for several years and, with her, I feel free to engage in "girl talk" about dressing, makeup, etc. We had this conversation recently and she suggested that if I were to dress age appropriately, I might find my CD experiences to be much more fun and rewarding. She suggested that I go to a large Mall and grab a seat on a bench in the Mall with a notepad in hand. I created a little checklist/survey of the women I saw who seemingly were about my age (say over 55). I checked off what they were wearing (Skirt, Dress, Jeans, Shorts, slacks, etc), their Hair (long, short, curly, straight, loose or tightly styled), their footwear (heels, flats, platforms, sandals, etc) legs (nylons or not), and makeup (bold, soft, none, a lot) and eyes (heavy mascara, shadow, etc).

I was astonished to learn that most women that I saw (more than 100 in a couple of hours), were wearing loose fitting tops with half sleeves, shorts or capris or jeans, sandals, flip flops or flats, no nylons, very light makeup, shorter greying hair loosely styled, very light eye treatment, lots of jewelry (earrings, necklaces, bracelets) and natural nail color. For sure, there were a few that dressed in dresses and heels, etc, but almost 90% were wearing tops and pants of some sort. Very few were wearing skirts. It is Summer in Alabama, so it is very hot and that had something to do with the dress, I'm sure.

This has really changed my thinking about dressing to blend in and to be more comfortable in my feminine skin! Donna has now ventured out dressed in a peasant top, capri pants, and sandals and it has made such a difference in how I feel, how I am treated by SA's and how I feel that I'm viewed by women my age.

Dressing to blend in requires quite a change in thinking, should you decide to attempt it. Where I have become proficient and comfortable wearing 3" heels, I've about given them up (except for home, of course). I've toned down my makeup colors and application and learned that I can still appear somewhat feminine without bolder colors, and I replaced my very large silicone forms with those that fit nicely in a B cup bra. The results are quite good ( I wish I could share a photo, but, by agreement with my wife, I will not post Donna's pics on the Internet).

I would encourage any of you more mature girls out there to conduct your own survey near where you live! It costs nothing but a little of your time and I bet that you will find it most educational and interesting.

[bridget thronton]

I have never been flamboyant in my dressing. Comfortable, modest dresses and skirts are more my style. I do wear women's shorts and pants as well (but they seem way too warm in the summer)

[Kate Simmons]

That is your choice my friend. Personally, I don't dress to blend but to be myself.I have my own unique style that works for me and am very pleased with it. It is what it is. :battingeyelashes::)

[hope springs]

Im glad you found a new look. Regardless of age, it can be fun to try a new style. My wardrobe is still tiny, but plan to stock it with age appropriate attire. Dressing at home is another story, go crazy. I too keep an eye out for what women wear so ive never felt really tall heels and short skirts were appropriate for me. If i were in my early twenties, id definitely rock a skimpy outfit. Anyway, have fun experimenting!

[Martha G]

Being 71 I like to wear age appropriate clothing.

However, when dressed I look much younger than my years, so I do like the knee lenght skirts as well as tight ones.

I try to dress to look like a normal woman, not something flamboyant.

I like to look nice and a little sexy, but nothing overdone to the hilt.

I always like to look like the professional type!

[Alice B]

It is tough to come to the realization of what we should really look like vs what we think we should look like. At 72 I am also re doing my look

[shawnsheila]

I always try to dress like a woman in her 30s. Usually professionally i.e. when out of town at a conference but also I have flats, low heels, wedges, shorts, etc. I try to go easy on the make up and try to look as "natural" as possible... I was probably more flamboyant when I would dress just at home and practice with make up when I was in my 20s

[Teresa]

Donna I posted a thread a while ago suggesting you could always tell a CDer because they were the only ones wearing a skirt ! Looks like your little survey may be proving the point !

[reb.femme]

I'm definitely seeing more skirts this year on GGs.....or maybe I'm just looking more. I'm a dresses and skirts type myself so hoping this is a bigger trend in the UK. Unfortunately, I need a coating of plaster on my face to get out and about, so less is not more for this girl.

In my eyes, there is nothing more sexy than a real girl in skirts and dresses.

Rebecca

[Eryn]

Not being flamboyant doesn't mean that you can't have fun! It just means that you've moved beyond the point where your presentation is geared primarily toward advertising your sexuality.

I love to play with bright colors, textures, loose/tight fits, and jewelery. My shoes aren't usually sky-high, but they don't have to be flat and the definitely have to show off my pedi!

[Marcelle]

Hi Donna,

I have only been dressing for a year and have discovered that dressing to blend is far easier in public then dressing to stand out. Not that I am embarrassed being TG it is just that I want to dress the way women my age dress when out doing their daily business. So most of the time it is jeans, capris, tops, sweaters but on the odd occasion depending on the time of day, I might wear a skirt or dress downtown as many women are dressed similarly for work.

Hugs

Isha

[noeleena]

Hi,

We in New Zealand and Austraila have quite a few women who wear skirts, yes i know many women do wear jeans tights and pants with loose fitting tops and flat/e shoes,

you may consider im a dresser, a male even no doubt because of facial features and if you saw me down the road, oh well so be it,

i dress in clothes that may blend in i dont try , and i wear my garb over sea.s of a wench next time ill wear my chatelaine outfit = Lady of the castle or mistress ether way does not matter, and i have worn them around our Village ,

I wont wear my Edwardian clothes because the skirt is quite big around the bottom,
on planes that is,

my normal day wear is skirts tee tops or jacket depending on weather or a loose tee, sandel;s or shoes or boots.

Now for makeup is none only lippy and eye brow linner and perfume and thats it,

Now i dont try to blend in or pass what i do do is wear clothes that suit my body shape and size and that is as a female ,

As a female i dont follow fashion or will i copy others , i dont need to or wont to , im my own person and because of that im well accepted were ever i go i Join in with our groups and am a member of quite a few ,

I know i dont have the look of how many men think how a woman should look im not feminine enough to pass that test as far as a stunning beauty should look far from it or another way im sure not a female that a man would desire , or wont to know , so thats laying it out fair and square , I am what i am by birth,

So when you sit and take note and look at us we dont all come the same, i wonder how many you really did see who would fit in with how i see my self what would you say to that and how would you then think concerning those like my self ,

would we be accepted just the same as those women who looked gorgeous, knowing what i know ....no.... of cause not we would and are not included we are just over looked as..... well..... not worth the time of day, ......2 nd rate ,

You see this is where the difference comes in many dresser,s can dress for a while then change back to thier normal daily life , we on the other hand dont have that to fall back on we live with what we have our whole life, any way i doubt id have made a good dresser nothing to work with .

...noeleena...

[Krisi]

I'm surprised it took you that long to notice what "real" women normally wear in public. As you now know, smaller boobs, lower heels, looser clothing and less makeup make you look more natural.

[Ressie]

I just ordered a pair of smaller forms, as my larger ones are a little too sexually attractive. As I age, I'll look into a gray haired wig too. The note pad at the mall sounds like a fun learning experience.

[kimdl93]

In the several years that I've been going out, I've always strived for age appropriate (extremely late 40s) but that still affords one an near infinite range of choices in style, fit, fabric, and color, hair style, etc etc.

I have gone for mid length hair close to what has been my natural color, daytime make up, and casual styles that compliment my height and physique as best I can. And despite being 6'2" I'm occasionally show some leg, encouraged to do so by a shorter woman when we were trying on clothes at Coldwater creek. Nothing flamboyant, but shorter shorts than I might otherwise have attempted, and skinny jeans or cords.

I guess Coldwater Creek pretty much summed up my sense of style and I'm going to miss them!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I haven't done any girl watching lately, but if you go at a time when women from nearby offices and shopping during lunch or right after work, you might see more skirts and dresses. Provided that skirts and dresses are what's being worn to work.

[AKADonna]

Steffi:

Since I'm 70 years old, I only looked for women appearing to be in my age range. Not many of them work in offices or work at all, for that matter. I'm sure you are correct for a younger demographic.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm nearly 67 and I dress younger and have I have done so for many years. Nothing over the top, but I feel much younger and I dress the way I feel. I wear bathing suites outside of the house when my mood and the weather conditions are right.

[Richelle]

Donna,

I know for me that it is more enjoyable to go out dressed as most GG ar. Of course this changes to what I am doing and the time of year. I noticed in the last couple of business trips, a number of GG were wearing skirts/dresses so it was easy for me to ware a dress. However, last February, like almost all GG traveling I wore skinny pains and boots. I saved the dresses for going out to nice restaurants.

Richelle

[CynthiaD]

Hey, girl. Figure out what works for you and go with it.

Personally, I can fill a B cup without any assistance, but it doesn't look feminine on me. I find that a D cup says "I am woman!" Without screaming it to the high heavens. Whatever works for you.

[Beverley Sims]

Donna,
You have acquiredvery useful advice, I hope you are able to put it into practice.
Thanks for sharing your views with the rest of us.