Interesting Behavior

[Aly Cat]

Ok, so prefacing this post, I want to state that I consider myself a lesbian trans woman. I do not like the male anatomy. I do not want it for myself or my partner (if I ever get a partner). Now, the interesting part. I am realizing that I have all together stopped checking women out, other than looking at their fashion sense. I certainly don't check men out. I thought I was becoming more Asexual, but I find myself looking at trans women... A LOT. Not crossdressers per say, but those who are post op or close to it. I love their stories, their insight, their fashion sense (which varies as much as GGs), and surprisingly, I am beginning to be attracted to them. It's gives me a whole mix of emotions but ya. I can't say I really know what I am anymore and I'm ok with that. Strange...

[Angela Campbell]

At first I claimed, and believed that I was completely lesbian too. Somehow the appetite just went away completely for a while after beginning hormones, then suddenly just came alive. I had no interest in sex or any romantic relations for a while then suddenly things began to change for me. Am I a lesbian? I don't know, I seem to be attracted to women, TS girls, T men, and at least a few men, (rare but there) So what describes me? I guess when asked I just say I'm Angie.

[Aly Cat]

Kinda crazy how this all works. I guess the best thing to do is not focus on relationships and just follow that old saying "come what may". Right now I'm just focusing on me since I do have a lot going on. I can't imagine too too many potential relationships in my near future unless I actually start becoming social. I really do need to get out more :(

[Julie Hall]

I have figured I was asexual for a long time and I still live that way. I might consider myself a lesbian as I really despise men. I think that is chiefly due to so many decades of self-loathing and will probably ameliorate given enough time. I find a persons personality is what draws me to them, why there would ever be any attraction. As I have become more and more comfortable and happy with the new me, I don't think I would automatically reject everyone as I have since my wife passed, not that there were really any probable or even possible candidates! That might change now that I actually go out of my house and socialize. I was even asked to dance by a guy at a club - and said yes!

But again for me the attraction would be to the person, their personality - what lies beneath.

[Michelle789]

I'm not sure what my sexual orientation is. I thought I was attracted to women, but I always fantasized about being with a man as the woman.

I have never been in a relationship prior to starting transition.

I am currently dating a transgender man, and am discovering that I really like being treated like a lady by a man. I haven't started hormones yet, and GBW starting hormones on Friday.

Being in a relationship for the first time is a transition in itself, going from 12 years of living alone with no roommates, no relationship, no parents, to suddenly being in a relationship can be challenging, even if it is an open relationship where we see each other 3 times a week, and usually for only part of the day.

My therapist, boyfriend, and I agree to take it very slowly, and to allow me room to transition and to still live freely...I am like a bird that has just been let out of her cage and I want to fly everywhere and do as I wish rather than to be tied down. I am also like a cat when it comes to my personality.

I guess that makes my gender identity female, my inherent personality type a cat, and my current circumstantial personality a bird.

[becky77]

I'm probably nearer A-sexual, I don't really get the sexual attraction feelings others do. For me it comes down to how someone makes me feel, conversation, humour etc.

[Aprilrain]

Why would being attracted to a transwoman be an different than being attracted to a genetic woman?

[Angela Campbell]

I read an article about the president asking someone if he was gay. The response was "it depends on who I am having sex with"

Sounds good I will go with that.

[StephanieC]

I stopped thinking in terms of sexual preference some time ago. I have enough to deal with without the complications of all that.

-stephani

[Rianna Humble]

I am like a bird that has just been let out of her cage and I want to fly everywhere and do as I wish rather than to be tied down. I am also like a cat

Just be careful that the bird doesn't end up in the cat's mouth :heehee:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You've stopped checking out "women" but you are attracted to transwomen????.... I guess i'm not a woman...

You hate the male anatomy but you are attracted to "close to post op" transwomen?? what's that all about??

That fantasy girl you have in your mind (ie you after transition) does not exist...it sure sounds like you are falling for her right now and projecting onto others...

[Aly Cat]

I was just stating that the lines are starting to blur for me. When I say I am starting to be attracted to trans women, it's because there is more than just a woman there. Not what's between the legs. What's between the legs turns me off if it's male anatomy. It's their stories, their strong characters, etc. It's more of an emotional thing for me. When I say post op or close to it, I just mean that the hormones have taken effect and they look like GGs. So yes, I am still attracted to GGs, there is just the added complexity of someone who has been in my shoes, felt how I feel, is stronger for it, and an inspiration. Maybe it's just admiration mixed with attraction. I'm not trying to offend anyone. Just sharing how my perspectives change as my own story continues on.

[arbon]

yep, the lines can get a little blurry :)


Why would being attracted to a transwoman be an different than being attracted to a genetic woman?

Good question, its one that I will admit has puzzled me because I have experienced this to. Its not to invalidate anyones identity as a woman, but maybe it easier to connect on a more intimate level with another transwoman then it is with other women or with men because life experiences are more familiar and there is an attraction towards that.

[Kimberly Kael]

Attractions based on shared experiences aren't at all uncommon. It may be easier for some trans women to relax around other trans women because they're not putting energy into worrying about disclosure, mannerisms, and aspects of their presentation that still feel studied.

I can see a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with gender per se.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

All good points.

[Kathryn Martin]

I am not sure anymore that attraction and sexual orientation is as linked as many of us would believe. If you read this article (http://www.salon.com/2014/07/29/im_a_lesbian_marrying_a_man/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow) and given my own experience maybe things are quite a bit different than we thought.

I am without question now and have always been physically attracted to guys yet I am married to a woman because she is my perfect life companion and partner. I do not think that physical attraction necessarily has everything to do with whom we find to be a life companion.

[KaceyR]

I hope it's not minded if I post a response...I watch the board section for info but am not doing any transitioning or even therapy yet to qualify for transexual.
My thought kind of went like this.
I'm thinking like Kathryn stated attraction and orientation may not be so literal - I seem to have heard recently by other analysts that there's a lot of fluidity in general as far as sexuality and attraction is concerned.
But There's a lot of pure emotional ties that drive relationships.
I myself awoke my own BI-ness (before I even dressed) 2 years ago due to seeing a very heavily emotional M-M love story (well, With some sex too :)) which made me question and realize I wasn't so cut-and-dried on orientation.

So.. Now reading this, and tying to transitioning and such...
Could it be that there's an aspect of transitioning that is 'waking up' or allowing you to be more aware of yours and others' emotions thus allowing you to 'read' the other person more? (Which then could lead to deeper attraction to whoever or whatever the person is inside?). Without the pressure of testosterone-based macho-ness (and it's added internal and mental strife) maybe the changes allows you to just recognize and experience the emotional side of people more which allows some to be freer in thinking about those different directions and attractions.

Just my thought anyways.

[whowhatwhen]

I flipped back and forth starting from puberty going from "I MUST BE STRAIGHT" to "Wait, I must be gay because of x, y, and z."

Unfortunately a few problems arose.
One being that in order to be straight, you kinda need to well, want to put it in a woman.
On the other hand I just couldn't picture myself in a gay relationship, I was attracted to guys but not as two guys.

So far the only change I've noticed since starting HRT is being more attracted to masculine traits.
Although I'll admit to being a bit curious about women though, and for some reason I would be more trusting of them for a first time*.

* Yes, you read that correctly. <- Virgin
Truth is I wasn't really interested back then, or even up till a few years ago.
Now it's late as f**k and going to be way more complicated.

[becky77]

Why would being attracted to a transwoman be an different than being attracted to a genetic woman?
I apologise if anyone thought I was generalizing.

[Randi_TGFM]

I didn't realize it until a few years ago that my sexual attraction was to a woman I could see as myself. I think that if I ever become totally female, that I will still be attracted only to the female form, but she won't have to look like me:).

[LeaP]

I know this isn't aimed at me but it reflects on my post.
... I apologise if anyone thought I was generalizing.

FWIW, I did not see your reply in this light and still don't even after re-reading. That your "partner" (don't have another term here) doesn't feel female might be a validation of sorts, but you don't need justification. That the relationship felt wrong or gay could stem from any number of things which aren't necessarily invalidating.