I do my best to blend?

[Wildaboutheels]

A question for all you "dress to blend" gals as well as the FPs here. [That would be Fashion Police]

I can only "guess" that MOST men, [whether they are CDers or not or attached or not] are going to turn their heads to look as soon as they HEAR you know what. I'm guessing it's an instinctive male trait. Probably not a trait of females.

???

So, do you simply stay away from heels that make that distinctive "range of music" or glue some type of tips on them to mute them or just dress with "quiet" shoes if you are going out dressed?

What say the FP about this? If a CDer goes out wearing clickclack shoes, are they trying to draw attention to themselves, so they should cease and desist?

I'm sure the heel veterans here will point out that it IS possible to walk stealthily in them with a bit of "good technique".

But of course the magic and the allure of certain heels is in the "music" they make is it not?

[Rachael Leigh]

While I don't go out and as much as I love that clicking heal sound I would tend to stay away from them in public just not not draw any unwanted attention

[Persephone]

Blending is not hiding, it is fitting in with one's peer group and circumstances. I would not wear heels to play tennis, I would not wear a swimsuit to a formal event, and I don't give up my heels to blend.

Male attention? Well, getting noticed, getting looks, is a natural part of being a woman and is a natural part of blending.

So, while I don't know about what others may do, as I go through my life I wear heels, wedges, even flats as fits the time and place.

Hope that helps.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[kimdl93]

I agree with Barb. Blending is not hiding. It's about dressing appropriate to the setting and in a manner compatible with ones age. Or in short to look like you belong among the women frequenting the same venues.

And frankly, I'm far less concerned about what a curious male may think. If I'm read, it's normally by other women. I wear heals where appropriate, as I would flats or sandals. Besides sound of heels may be audible and discernible in some settings, but the click of one pair soon becomes lost among dozens.

[Pat]

I tend to wear a lot of flats, but it's not for fear of click-clacking, it's fear of rolling an ankle. :o

[RenneB]

I consistently wear heels to almost all of my out and abouts....'cept when I'm super casual and then it's with heeled sandals... I actually enjoy the click clack and attempt to get it to sound just right.

I much prefer to click clack in the company of other click clackers but in today's mid-west plains style of dressing (flip flops, t-shirt off the top of the dirty clothes pile and jeans or gym shorts) I tend to stand out but still blend.

If I am confident and dress appropriately, I don't care about the noise my heels make....

Renne.....

[Cheryl T]

If my outfit calls for heels then heels it is.
If someone looks because my heels make that wonderful sound then they are no different from me as I would look also.

I have a pair of flats that have hard heels and also sound off when I walk, so let them look and let them enjoy the sights...

[Marcelle]

Hi WAH,

I am with Barb and Kim on this one . . . I don't blend to hide I blend to present in a way that feels comfortable in a fashion a like. I rarely wear heels as for the most part my jaunts are casual experiences, shopping, running errands, the odd lunch and of course Starbucks :). I did wear heels downtown for a lunch date with some GG friends and had to walk a few streets from the bus stop and the "click, click" sound did draw some stares from men but they were cursory stares and I am sure when the processed the full picture they were kicking themselves for staring in the first place :battingeyelashes:

My take on blending, wear what you like according to the venue but then again, I have seen GGs at COSTCOs dressed in power suits (heels and all) as they were probably stopping in after work so IMHO there is no rule to blending it is all about comfort and personal choice.

Hugs

Isha

[natcrys]

I always wear heels, it just depends on the occasion, the time of day, the expected types of ground/road/floors that I will be walking on, etc.. to determine whether it's gonna be sky-high ultra-thin stilettos or the still-high somewhat-chunkier heel.

Also.. hiding?? I don't go out to just play hide and seek.. I try to blend, but if wearing heels means people will be look at me, then so be it! :)

I know I look presentable, perhaps 25% (a certified MUOTS figure :p ) more fashionable and stylish than most of the GG's surrounding me, but still nothing OTT.

I'm sure the CD-FP (if there is such a thing) would agree that high heels do click... and that for a lot of CD's (not all obviously), heels nowadays are part of the typically female outfit.

My 2 eurocents, if you don't want any eyes on you, then be as quiet and unremarkable as possible. Whether that's called blending or hiding.. :thinking:

[Krisi]

I normally wear flats, both to keep my height lower and because I'm normally in places and situations where GGs are wearing flats (or sandals). I don't try to draw attention to myself.

[I Am Paula]

I've found that men only hear three things. Obviously, the sound of your heels reminds them of-
Opening a beer.
Preparing to shoot something.
You're having sex, about to have sex, or noisily thinking about having sex.

Bless them, for they are simple creatures, but without them, Who's going to kill spiders for us?

[Claire Cook]

I'm with Barb and Krisi on this one. Most women in this part of Florida who are not dressed for work wear sandals, flats or tennies. So do I -- I expect to be treated as one of them, so I rarely wear heels during the day. I'm just more comfortable that way. And I certainly do not want to attract male attention (but sometimes that happens and yes, that is nice).

[CynthiaD]

What's the point of wearing heels if they don't make that cool sound?

[mariehart]

Yes heels can be very audible. Actually it's funny but my wife was complaining about that very thing last night. The heels she was wearing while too high or point are really quite noisy and in the hospital where she works they have long quiet corridors and she was conscious of click clacking down them yesterday. To make it worse one of her colleagues said to her: 'I knew it was you I heard you coming'.

Of course for her it's just an excuse to go shoe shopping! Which I look forward to as I'll be with her.

As for keeping the noise down. I tried to lean forward a bit but the only real solution is to take em off!

[julie w]

I dress to blend in but always in nice clothes and always flats although some of my flats click when I walk, I like the New York lady's that lunch look

[Wildaboutheels]

I was in the waiting room at the dermatologist 2 days ago, where I waited for about 35 minutes. ONE woman came in wearing heels and a skirt. She was probably 35ish. The other 20+ ladies of all ages were wearing either shorts or jeans and most were wearing sandals with no heels or basic or fancy flip flops. It was a typical 90 degree Florida afternoon...

[Teresa]

We all know when we hear a girl in heels walking down the street men and often women glance to look, I'm wondering if it would make much difference what sex was wearing them as long as they were attractive enough ! You either think WOW she's stunning or WOW that's a guy !!
If I were out heels or not they would be well muffled ! Unless that million dollars was still on offer !!

[ChacTzul]

Paula's response really seems to hit the nail on the head !
Chac


I've found that men only hear three things. Obviously, the sound of your heels reminds them of-
Opening a beer.
Preparing to shoot something.
You're having sex, about to have sex, or noisily thinking about having sex.

Bless them, for they are simple creatures, but without them, Who's going to kill spiders for us?

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I've found that men only hear three things. Obviously, the sound of your heels reminds them of-
Opening a beer.
Preparing to shoot something.
You're having sex, about to have sex, or noisily thinking about having sex.

Bless them, for they are simple creatures, but without them, Who's going to kill spiders for us?That's interesting, because the sound of heels clicking does not make me think of any of those examples. Maybe on a deep sub-conscious level, there is some link to sex, but my conscious mind is not thinking about that at all. It perks my attention, of course, but simply because it makes me want to look at the person.

[joeb145]

Wear something that your comfortable in. It will make the huge difference!

[Eryn]

I dress to blend and find that clacky heels don't really detract from that. Here's what happens:

I walk near a male.
Male head turns toward me.
Male looks at my boobs. Finds them not spectacular.
Male directs gaze upward, finds fiftysomething face. Really not spectacular.
Male's attention goes back to whatever he was doing before I approached.

Woman in my age group really are invisible. As long as my behavior doesn't vary too far from the norm I'm fine.

[StarrOfDelite]

I dress to blend, because I enjoy being accepted as a woman as much as possible. If high heels are appropriate to the occasion then I wear them and vice versa. In New York City, where I recently lived, high heels are much more a part of what is normal than where I live now in the great Pennsylvania/Ohio Rust Belt. If I feel like wearing heels in the daytime, then I make sure that I am wearing a woman's suit and look like an attorney or an accountant so that the outfit matches. If I'm going to a c*cktail lounge in a party dress I'll wear high heels, but if I'm going to TGIFriday's for a burger and a beer I'm probably going to be wearing nothing higher than a pair of wedges with inch and a half heels. And, nowadays, it's stylish to wear a short skirt, leggings and combat boots almost anywhere.

[Kate Simmons]

Beats me Hon. I really don't pay that much attention. They must clickety clack like hell when I'm dancing. :battingeyelashes::)

[noeleena]

Hi ,

Oh heck this ...is... about blending , oh dear count me out i cant walk down the street with out being looked at no matter what i wear so click clack im long past that and people know me at 1/2 a mile away, and im tall enough any ways,

..noeleena...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Wah, That's the whole point to get the clickety clack as you walk in heels.

[SO1Adam12]

Paula you made me ROTFLMAO....when I split from my ex-husband the only time I truly missed him was when my car needed repairs, heavy furniture needed to be moved or some icky thing needed to be killed or if already dead, removed. :) Thanks for the chuckle!

[SO1Adam12]

If you don't mind a GG weighing in on this subject, especially one who is new to this site I will give my HO based on what I glean from many of the posts I have read.

Most CDers seem to be seeking acceptance. Now what level of acceptance that is, varies greatly. Some seem to be satisfied with finding a partner who can accept their CDing in private. Some seek acceptance not only in their personal relationship but their family and close friends as well. Some want acceptance within the CDing community and some want acceptance by society as a whole - from both men and women. Of course there are those who couldn't care less if they are accepted and go about life doing their thing.

So in considering what you wear, whether clickitty-clackitty heels or other clothing, I think you should consider what it is you're looking for on that particular day/night. Dress for what makes you feel good - but that may mean being prepared for positive/negative attention.

There are nights when I am feeling "all that" and want others to take notice feel my confidence, but sometimes I just want to hang out and and relax. Regardless I always try to dress appropriately.

[docrobbysherry]

Well said Eryn. Altho u mite "pass", many of us can't at midnite on a moonless nite!

I HATE dressing to blend. (I won't pass anyway.) So, I normally wear my 4+" heels of choice when out. Hearing my heels, I'm quite sure men turn to look at me. (I've seen their reflections in shop windows.) If it's from behind? I mite pass. If they see me from the front, a homely old guy in a dress, they quickly look away in almost ever instance.


I dress to blend and find that clacky heels don't really detract from that. Here's what happens:

I walk near a male.
Male head turns toward me.
Male looks at my boobs. Finds them not spectacular.
Male directs gaze upward, finds fiftysomething face. Really not spectacular.
Male's attention goes back to whatever he was doing before I approached.

Woman in my age group really are invisible. As long as my behavior doesn't vary too far from the norm I'm fine.

[Stephanie47]

I am primarily an in-home cross dresser. I have ventured out into the world en femme in the evening and strolled in safe residential neighborhoods. The first couple of times out strolling I wore high heels. In the evening with little noise on the streets, the clicking of the heels was LOUD. I decided to buy a couple of pairs of flats (really one inch heels) with a rubber heel to deaden the noise. I went out to have the wonderful feeling of a cool fall breeze caressing my legs, swishing my dress, and, not attracting attention.

I have recommended before that those who are very concerned about the clicking of heels to buy a nice feminine pair of athletic shoes, and, carry the heels in a tote bag. When I was still working in a professional office environment, there were many women who carried their office heels in a tote. Even for a GG there is just so much stress they can endure. Nine to ten hours a day in four inch heels???? Nope.

[Coping2014]

I consistently wear heels to almost all of my out and abouts....'cept when I'm super casual and then it's with heeled sandals... I actually enjoy the click clack and attempt to get it to sound just right.

I much prefer to click clack in the company of other click clackers but in today's mid-west plains style of dressing (flip flops, t-shirt off the top of the dirty clothes pile and jeans or gym shorts) I tend to stand out but still blend.

If I am confident and dress appropriately, I don't care about the noise my heels make....

Renne.....

Renne,

I'm a GG and I can say that my neck of the woods sounds similar to yours - In our town and the surrounding area you are lucky if you see anyone in heels. Wearing such would make anyone stick out like a sore thumb. Same goes for dressing up. It used to be you would see women dress up for events or even church but now a days it seems most everyone is in casual attire. Yes you see a few skirts or dresses when out grocery shopping but trust me even GG's notice them because like I said you don't see it often at all. SO as I read a lot of the posts here and see the pictures that some of you post of your outings I'm like OMG! They would never blend in at ALL! We don't have night clubs or any place like that to dress up to go to so for me the clothing choices seem EXTREMELY out there. I guess it all depends on where you live. For my own husband there would be no place ANYWHERE close he could go to try an outing that he wouldn't be obviously outed for being a CD, we would have to drive 500 plus miles to find a venue he could go to and that (I suppose) could happen but it would take a bit of money, time and effort that we don't generally have.

Anyway got a little off topic - as far a heels I would say really look at your environment and see if the other women there wear them? That is if your wanting to blend - I see a lot on here of the CDers that aren't looking to blend and want the attention - so regardless of whether the attention is positive or negative and that is something that I just don't understand as of yet with this whole journey but I am still fairly new (my husband only came out in May 2014) . I myself don't care for them at all - our daughter who is 19 and short doesn't even like them for the most part and it would go with what she wears most time but she thinks they are pointless (and trust me she is a girly girl!). So I just don't get the desire - they are not comfortable nor practical for most scenarios in my mind. But to each their own I guess.

Coping2014

Coping2014

[JennyT3]

Like most it depends on the circumstances. When I go shopping, grocerys or otherwise I wear comforfable 1" heals. or cute sandals with a comphy skirt andtop. If I go out to a club or dinner, heels with a cute skirt outfit. Good iqueatoon

[Beverley Sims]

I dress to blend and find that click clack heels are annoying.
Of course I do wear them as they are a part of the presentation process.

Nice LBD above the knee and Mary Janes? I don't think so. :)

[Lexi Moralas]

I agree 100%

[ArleneRaquel]

Most times I dress to blend in, but at very rare occasions, when I'm out on a date, I desire to be a "hot moma", and I do my best to NOT blend in. My mode can vary and I dress accordingly.