how many are confused???

[janelle]

Hi ladies, just got home from a shopping trip. pick up a pair of jeans & a blouse. i even got my ears pierced. here is where i'm confused. my wife doesn't want to know what i'm doing but goes with me. see asks me what i'm looking at & gives a hint one way or the other, than says i don't want to know. i love her dearly but she is driving me nuts with this yes & no position she takes. i know she is still working things out about my cd's & i understand that, but why does she send me mixed signs. would like your thoughts on this . guess i need help in more ways than one. thanks ladies

[Gabrielle]

I have gotten similar reactions from my wife.

My crossdressing is really difficult for her to accept. From what I can figure is that she does want me to be happy so tries really hard to be accepting but at the same time is having a really really hard time accepting.
Which I believe is where the mixed messages come from.

I would just say that the reason is that she really does love you, and even though she is struggling with your likes is doing what she can to show you this.

[janelle]

Thanks Gabrielle. i kind of thought that is what is going on but it just confuses me. i guess i'm still accepting the fact of who i am,so i'm confused about myself. Thanks dear, enjoy you evening.

[Jamie M]

I could be wrong but i think this is quite a common stage with many GG's/SO's struggling to deal with a TG partner . As gabrielle was saying , she wants you to be happy and is tryng her hardest to be a part of something that obviously means a lot to you .

In this case she could be having moments where she tries but reaches some sort of watershed in her mind and decides it's gone too far today. I know that kelly found herself doing this alot over the last year so i know how frustrating it can be .

Out of nowhere you find yourself chatting away about it quite happily even making jokes and having a really nice time and then all of a sudden she goes cold and refuses to talk about it anymore .

Just remember that she's not doing it conciously , it's just that for that particular moment , the convesation has gone too far . Back off , say that's okay and leave it at that , there will be other times.

Another possibilty is that whilst she desn't want to see i just yet , she also wants some sort of say in how you dress maybe to make sure you're not going too tarty . this seems to be pretty common aswell.

anyway , just remember that she seems to be trying for you and undersatnd how hard it is for her . understanding goes both ways .

hang in there :)

[Amelie]

The title of your thread says it all, maybe your wife is confused as well.

[janelle]

thanks girls, thats very good information & i'm sure i send her mixed signals when i doubt myself. i now how hard she is trying & i try not to overwelmn her with my exitement.
just so you know lastnight i tryed to snuggle up to her & she said if your going to be like this....... she said nothing more but i now she like the fact i cuddled in with her(in drab, haven't pushed for a nightgrown yet). told her i realize more of what she needs by being Janelle. ended the night with a goodnight & a very nice kiss, something we(she ) hasn't wanted to do. things are getting better & i have all you girls(tg,& gg)to thank for all your wonderful info. thanks, have a great day.
hugs & kisses to you all.

[DanaJ]

janelle, maybe this will help, read this excellent thread about this by MarlaGG:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12890

[janelle]

thanks DanaJ. it all seems alittle bit clearer now. you girls are just great. thanks