Hang 'em, or Hide 'em

[Hell on Heels]

As some of you may know I recently was outed to my SO. We are talking and she seems interested to learn more about my desires, and is trying to figure out if this might fit into our relationship.
Anyhow, we were talking on the phone the other day, she reminded me that our neighbor had purchased some hangers for us and I should pick them up from her.
I jokingly said good I'll need them to hang up my hidden clothes, she calmly said "that's fine, I don't care, what about your shoes? My shoes are all high heels, not her style at all, so I said they can stay hidden.
So my question is... What would you do? Hang your clothes, or keep them hidden?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Anna H]

Most definitely hang them up!

Maybe she'll make a few style suggestions if she gets
to see them! :)

♥

[Jenny Elwood]

Careful she doesn't burn 'em.

[AllieSF]

Hang a few of your less than showy items in the back or least viewed section of your part of the closet. Don't put them front and center so that they are easy to see and easy to retrieve. let her get used to them and a few weeks down the road ask what she sees and thinks about when she sees them hanging there with your male clothes. If she seems and states that is really is no big deal to her, then gradually increase what you hang there over time. If she asks why you didn't just put all of them in the closet, you can tell her you were going slow and wanted her to gradually adjust to the whole scenario and situation. Good luck and keep talking, texting and emailing.

[Laura in NC]

I'd hang it all in the closet. Luckily myself and my wife share the same size for footwear, and styles.

[marshalynn]

Kristyn, I think I would hang 4 or 5 items up in closet, not in the very front, but not in the back of the closet. I would not say anything about them, let her make the first move about them and go on from there. Marshalynn

[Donnagirl]

Slow and steady.... Hang a few and slowly increase... Careful you don't trigger an over reaction so watch for responses, compare expression and body language to the verbal. And as always, talk, talk, talk.....

[Stephanie47]

I think it really depends on how much clothing you have and the styles. If you're SO does not own but one or two pretty dresses for weddings or funerals and you hang fifty, I suspect she may have something to say about the number. If she is into jeans and tops, really casual, and, you're going to hang drop dead gorgeous LBD's and line up five inch pumps----well, I think you can envision some comments. Again, if she has been penny pinching due to family finances and your wardrobe represents a lot of $$$---well.

Also, a recent outing event without a blow up does not confer any degree of acceptance. I would not go over the top on this. A little caution will go along way.

I have way more bras and panties and slips and dresses and heels than my wife. I'm leaving mine in my storage boxes.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o everyone,
Just so you all know, I do not have an extensive wardrobe.
My concerns are more towards wether it may be to soon,
I have told her that I have bought clothes. And makeup . She didn't comment.
Do you think she's ready to see Kristyn's things?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[paulaprimo]

maybe just hang up a few things at first...kinda test the waters.
you don't want to scare her off with a larger wardrobe than she has... :)

[marshalynn]

Kristyn, you are in the I don't know what she is going to do land now, I would want to know how she feels now. She will either or not except, but you need to know how she feels, so you can know how you want to go ahead with your life decisions. Marshalynn

[Katey888]

Kristyn, dear... I may still be in the closet, but I've been around women a while... ;)

When your SO says "that's fine, I don't care..." you realise that's probably not what she means...?

I wouldn't come here to ask opinions on whether you should or shouldn't... (no offence, members.. :)) go back to her and say: "No - there are some things that you get to make a call on - I don't want whether I do something or not to be a problem between us, so if you don't approve of something, we stay with the status quo..."

Let her know that she both has a stake and some control in how this works for both of you.... :hugs:

Katey x

[Hell on Heels]

I've been fishing for a comment like yours Katey, I think being "Closet Queens" for so long we think alike.
Although I don't want to have to ask permission, she knows I own clothes, and clothes should be kept on hangers in a closet.
My worry is it is to much, to soon? Can she handle seeing reality? She has seen photos, should seeing my clothes be the next step?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Kate Simmons]

Hang 'em high Baby. Clint Eastwood notwithstanding. ;):)

[Marcelle]

Hi Kristyn,

I echo what Katey suggested. Only your SO can answer that question with any degree of certainty. When I first came out to my wife I had no wardrobe so when I started purchasing (she helped) I asked her how she felt about seeing Isha's things in the closet, drawers, laundry and so on. She said she was fine with it. However, I did not launch with the whole ensemble (really not that much) and introduced it slowly. Now it is no biggie and we share certain clothes and have our own.

My biggest advice to you on all things CDing, if you are not sure . . . ask her. She seems to be accepting to a degree so I am guessing she is agreeable to talking about it . . . capitalize on that willingness to talk and ask your questions and let her ask hers. It will avoid a lot of confusion and second guessing in the future. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Krystyn,
It would be nice to have everything on hangers, at the moment every time I want to dress I have to iron it all !
I don't have that much stuff and my wife knows that some are hand-me-downs. I'm not sure about the maids dresses and the heels may not get full approval ! Then there's the underwear !
It looks like my stuff is staying hidden a bit longer !

Seriously it's a bridge I have to cross if my wife gets her way on down sizing, I really need to know what provision can be made for Teresa and her things !!

[Hell on Heels]

Thanks Isha, You know how I respect your opinion. I had hung everything, but trust me it is not much at all.
I'm thinking to hang it in the second bedroom closet, there are no clothes in there now, it wont be in "her" space, but she can see it if she desires.
Any thoughts on this?
BTW I've met Clint, really a nice guy, but not as impressive as "Dirty Harry" might seem.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Claire Cook]

Hi Kristyn,

Guess I'd agree with Katey and Isha, it's partly her space and should be her call. Our closet has a his and hers side ... hers has only hers, mine has, well, male stuff sandwiched between my other clothes. Just sort of evolved that way. Aren't dresses and skirts meant to be hung?

[mykell]

hell-o kristyn,
good to here from you, rock star status, hanging out with actors and movie directors, so impressed with the movies he has directed, i digress...

katey is "spot on" with her thought, still too soon i think, not in your bedroom for now,

as a closet Queen myself after my reveal i grabbed all my "stash" and put it into a suit case and put it in the office closet, step closer,
after a while i started to hang things up, i have a son who does not know mikell, so i installed a key locked door-nob, keep out my son and any nosy family member that find size 11 high heels, i know she has had to try to get in it and i assume she knows what is in there, if she asks i will give her the key, everything that was in there has been put into the spare room closet.... i did not ask permission and it keeps things just between us.... as she wanted....

[flatlander_48]

We Hu-Mans tend to not like surprises in terms of relationships. How others respond to crossdressing is always a question mark, but having it "thrown in your face" may produce even more unpredictable results. People require time to consider and process this new information. Having everything presented all at once can be difficult to absorb.

[cdrachael]

Big call maybe hang a few items first and see how it goes. I'm lucky I have the wardrobe to myself and hang all my clothes as I would any other item I have.

[Vale]

My experience suggests that Katey has the right approach. When your wife's girlfriend runs back into the closet while helping her experiment with her clothes who will explain the dresses that are clearly not your wife's style?

[Dannigirl]

I would say either talk to her directly about it or just wait another couple of weeks and when/if she asks why you didn't hang anything you can tell her you were worried about her feelings still. If you aren't willing to ask her straight up, this could be a good alternative. However, my SO is very accepting of me and my dressing and I "beat around the bush" about things or kind of hint about things and although I think I am giving her a signal for her to say, HEY you should go dress up, she never has. She has known for many years and not once has she "gotten the hint", communication is key, if you don't get the answer you were looking for i.e. - yes, hang your clothes in our closet by asking her directly then at least you know how she really feels.

[MsVal]

Kristyn, sorry hon, I believe that you're asking the wrong question and asking the wrong people.

You posted a question about hanging your feminine clothing in a place where your wife could see. The question came about because you were not certain what your wife meant. That is a communications problem, and communications is at the core of relationship fundamentals.

This whole disclosure thing came about scarcely more than a week and a half ago. It is all very, very new to you and to your wife. It's very easy and quite understandable to get excited; to get on with the easy, fun stuff, and overlook the tough, scary fundamentals. As in all things: sports, music, and relationships, you've got to work on fundamentals before you can perform well.

At the very least, you both need to develop some mutually agreeable, unambiguous communications and use them. You both need to be able to express your true feelings in matters relating to crossdressing. (This exercise will also benefit your non-CD communications.) It will be difficult at first. We are talking about feelings, after all, and men often lack a close link with their emotions or means to express them*. We've been conditioned to be stoic, to do the right thing regardless how we feel about it, and never talk about how we feel.

Wives are likewise strangers to their husband's core feelings. When we clumsily attempt to express them, they are understandably confused and respond in sometimes unpredictable ways.

Soooo.... To answer your unasked question:
Tell your wife how you feel about hanging your feminine clothes in the closet and ask her to tell you what that means to her. Then ask her to tell you how she feels about seeing your feminine clothes in the closet, and tell her what that means to you. You both need clarity, and neither should accept ambiguity.

Best wishes
MsVal

-----
*My dear wife and I are working on this and making great progress. We are benefiting from the advice of a therapist that specializes in gender and relationship issues. I get homework a couple times per month. (E.g. In Relationship 'Feeling' Words. There are 35 ways to express insecurity and fear, all subtly different.)

[Annaliese]

Hang'em, the danger is she might like some of them, and then they are lost forever. Take the heels out also.

[Coping2014]

If she is into jeans and tops, really casual, and, you're going to hang drop dead gorgeous LBD's and line up five inch pumps----well, I think you can envision some comments. Again, if she has been penny pinching due to family finances and your wardrobe represents a lot of $$$---well.

Also, a recent outing event without a blow up does not confer any degree of acceptance. I would not go over the top on this. A little caution will go along way.

Hey there - I was reading this thread and thought maybe you would like a GG's perspective but this comment above from Stephanie47 pretty much hits the nail on the head. My husband only recently came out to me (May 2014) and I can tell you that yes just because one day we are good with it doesn't mean that the next will be the same. It really fluctuates- I know that isn't fair, but it's the reality of it. I do WANT to be ok all the time with the CDing but to be honest sometimes it feels like a slap in the face. The comment above about the financial aspect is one example - I myself am a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal so seeing the money spent on this is hard. We are working on that but it is still a personal issue I have. He does have a few items in the closet and for the most part I don't mind but when it is front and center (on the edge of my stuff as to be hidden in plain sight from our kids) and I might be having a bad day or off with the whole CD thing it is kind of a hit to see staring back at me.

I would suggest talking about the fact of emotions fluctuating up front so you both know that it could happen and you're both ready for it. And not that I don't think that it is a slid back on our level of acceptance but more of a normal adjustment to our everyday emotions that tend to shift. I do think her offering is an olive branch of sorts but sometimes we love you all so much we may give a little more than we are ready for so don't be angry at us for shifting on our stance every now and again. We are trying but it's not always easy. Please remember that you have had a lifetime of trying to figure out and understand all of this and for most of it struggled with it and once you lay it out on the table for us we deserve time to soak it all in as well - it isn't gonna happen overnight - even thought we wish it would too. I so much wish that we were at a 'norm' so I knew what to expect everyday but he still doesn't know what is 'the norm' for him so it's a waiting game for us all I guess.

On a side note - I want to applaud many of you that can 'see' it from a GG's perspective. Sometimes I wonder if you even slow down enough to think of it sometimes. Always remember to use a little common courtesy - it goes a long ways ( and I will try to do the same!)

Coping2014

[CynthiaD]

Hang everything. Fewer wrinkles. Hiding stuff is a pain. Why do it if there's no reason to?

[Suzanne F]

Kristyn
I think hanging them all in the guest room closet is the right answer. It respects her space and feelings. It also says you are not ashamed. I think that is important for us also when dealing with our spouses. How can we ask them to be accepting if we can't ? We do need to go slow and communicate. We also need to communicate that we are beautiful loving people that have a wonderful twist! Remember the hiding is the wrong act not the dressing!
Suzanne

[Coping2014]

Kristyn, dear... I may still be in the closet, but I've been around women a while... ;)

When your SO says "that's fine, I don't care..." you realise that's probably not what she means...?

I wouldn't come here to ask opinions on whether you should or shouldn't... (no offence, members.. :)) go back to her and say: "No - there are some things that you get to make a call on - I don't want whether I do something or not to be a problem between us, so if you don't approve of something, we stay with the status quo..."

Let her know that she both has a stake and some control in how this works for both of you.... :hugs:

Katey x


Katey, I will give you credit, I do tend to do that. In my case though it's not because I have an issue but I may not KNOW that it will be (my testing the waters so to speak) But I REALLY do like your way of conversation - it leaves nothing to assume and we all need to take note of that and the not saying something when you want to as well. I have been a lot better about that - just saying or asking to be clear about something. I'm tired of waiting for the right moment to do it because sometimes as uncomfortable as some these conversations can be there really isn't a right time. Just do it - but do it with as much tact as you can. That can be tricky - my hubby and I have gotten better we tend to start our statements with "I'm sure I'm not saying this right but please hang with me for a minute until I get it out and together we can figure out HOW I should have said it." or "give me the benifit of the doubt I'm not trying to offend" But taking it slow and really listening helps.

Sometimes I wonder why some of you "you can't understand women" some of you sound like you may know us better than you think.


Coping2014

[bridget thronton]

Hang them - wife commented that it shows a healthy integration of both sides of my psyche (male and female clothes in the same place)

[JamieG]

go back to her and say: "No - there are some things that you get to make a call on - I don't want whether I do something or not to be a problem between us, so if you don't approve of something, we stay with the status quo..."


Love this! It's the right tone. It's not so much asking for permission as it is, "I really care what you think!"

Jamie

[joeb145]

Hang them up! Even put a pair of shoes in there! She might like your style and try them on!

[reb.femme]

I go with Katey (wise young owl), as your SO is interacting. She can at least dictate the pace (if that is the right phrase). Hanging them high straight off may bring about an unwanted response and invoke the Clint Eastwood quote from Dirty Harry, "You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well do ya girl?" ...........Minor change from the original. :heehee:

Hope this acceptance continues to grow in strength for you both.

Rebecca

[Beverley Sims]

"That's fine".....
Means hang 'em for me. :)

[PaulaQ]

I'd counsel some careful consideration and caution here. My wife, while trying to come to grips with my transness, made a number of attempts to try to be more accepting, to be able to deal with me a little better. And on many of those attempts, she really failed, the worst being her request to see me fully dressed. (We split up shortly after that.)

People don't always know how they'll react to the reality of having a trans spouse. But each time they see a little more, it tends to be a make or break moment.

If you do hang them up and she seems to not be in a very good mood after seeing them, talk to her about it, and maybe back off for a while at that point. Each time "stuff got real" - that is some small thing changed, my wife had a really hard time of it.

Of course, my wife is a pretty extreme case. At this point, we haven't seen each other in many months, and she won't see or speak with my mother or sister, as they remind her too much of me now. Or at least what she imagines I'm like now - she really has no way to know. :(

Best of luck Kristyn, I hope you and your wife can find a balance where you are both comfortable.

[Jenny Gurl]

Only you and your SO can make that call. As already posted, sometimes SO will till you they don't care to be kind, but it may bother them just the same. If you do decide to hang them and put your other things in the closet, don't take up so much room that it crowds her things. Above all, if you decide to hang them, let her know if it starts to bother her to just tell you and you will be glad to put them back away. That leaves an open option that she knows is always there.

[Emme]

I hang all my clothes in the shared closet. My side would look empty if I removed my collection. I wear my Emme clothes every day at home. My gripe is she take my shoes and puts them on the floor and she uses the shoe hanger for her tiny shoes. Some times I double up with her LOL

I have the wigs on my side and my jewelry cases. We get along in the closet very well.

[~Joanne~]

Before I told my SO about my CDing, my clothes were always hung in the closet, buried by my drab this. I have always hung my clothes and it was easier when we do not share a closet to beginvwith. After telling her, she actually suggested that I hang my things with hers but they are fine where they are at. They are just more visible now and there are a lot more items than what there were. I feel really bad for those that have to hide their things but we must do what we must I guess.

[Seana Summer]

Hi Kristyn

I am glad to hear you are ok and you and your wife are talking.

My suggestion is similar to others....go slow......and start by hanging up what you were wearing in the photo she saw.

[giuseppina]

... she calmly said "that's fine, I don't care, ...

This often means, "Proceed at your peril."


... I have told her that I have bought clothes. And makeup . She didn't comment.
Do you think she's ready to see Kristyn's things?
Much Love,
Kristyn

In a word, no. It sounds to me like you're pushing much too hard, especially given the way she found out.

It's time you asked for her honest opinion.

[Adriana Moretti]

you know me homegirl....I'm the WORST person to ask or give S/O advice.....but I would crawl before you ball .....some of these gals are DEAD ON in their response

[Jenniferathome]

Kristyn, from this recount, it's hard to judge, so I recommend a more direct question, "Honey, are you really ok with me hanging up my female clothes in our closet and putting my heels in there too?"

[Femdenise]

Kristyn--you know your lady better than any of us--better than all of us put together! Trust your head and heart. Caution is always good advice. Think in terms of, "the last straw", "this was just too much", The "spark", etc. A few items in the spare closet may be the wisest choice. Good Luck--and be flexible.

[CarlaWestin]

I say hang'em. It's the clothes that belong in a closet, right? And all of your bras and panties in a drawer. Shoes neatly lined up around the closet wall. Of course, your collection of dresses and stuff will start growing, and growing. All by itself! Right?

[MssHyde]

I'd pull back and really be sure, women change their minds too much.. may put out some things she has seen in pictures.

Cheyenne

[JocelynJames]

We have a shoe rack of which I have 5 random spots. I can pick them out as can my SO, but anyone else would have to really look.our feet only differ by a full size. Clothing on the other hand.... I have two different styles going, and I'm more a 10-12, where the SO is a 2 so it is slightly out of sight. We just play it all by ear.

[visualkei]

Love this! It's the right tone. It's not so much asking for permission as it is, "I really care what you think!"

Jamie

Me too. Definitely see if you can open her up about it. You wouldn't want to mistake her "I don't care" attitude for being how she really feels. I doubt it is how she really feels.
You ought to talk about it more, establish some temporary boundaries and reassess as time goes on.

P.S. I thought this thread was about tucking from the title, hahaha.

[Kris Avery]

Sadly, I have no choice but to hide almost all of them as I live with 1 pre-teen and two other teenaged children (all girls).
They are very observant that my SO has exactly 1 (one) dress and she only wore it one time to church and had a bad experience falling down in it.

That said, there are a few dresses in the shared space of the closet... however I really hate to put any of them there - as the last time a new dress got hung, it was quickly identified and worn by a teenage daughter - thinking it was 'moms'. :doh: "now that's some MAJOR awkward"

[Angie G]

I have my own closet all my girl things are hanging in it and I out of room.:hugs:
Angie

[Isabella Ross]

Everything...and I mean everything...out of the closet (the secret one with your clothes in boxes) and into the closet (the big one, where everything can hang). Seems to me you've been given a green light. Proceed cautiously through this important intersection.

[Amymonroe]

I have my own small walk in closet and i have mine hung right along side of my male clothing. my spouse knows she doesn't mind.

[Andrea Chenowith]

Although it's certainly not the most glamorous of alternatives, U-Haul offers a wardrobe box that works quite well. You won't necessarily be able to hang full-length ball gowns in it, but it might offer that in-between alternative while your SO becomes accustomed to the idea.

http://www.uhaul.com/MovingSupplies/Boxes/Clothing-moving-boxes/Grand-Wardrobe-Box?id=6560

[Samantha_Smile]

My best/favorite/delicate dresses get hung, the rest gets stored in a draw like the rest of my clothes.

Hang your good stuff to keep it good.

[Sallee]

I would be careful showing them Maybe a few conservative items Don't over do it untill you are sure of her true attidute. I think most women can accept it intellectually but whenit comes to lovers and spouses it is a different story. So go slow until you are sure
My 2 cents :)

[Bootsiegalore]

Hang 'em up! But remember......"NO WIRE HANGARS",....... Mommy Dearest!

[Michelle Charles]

I Am with the slow roll approach. She has already been hit with a tidal wave. Don't force another one. Let the two of you grow into this together! Hanging your things in a second closet would be ideal to me, she doesn't HAVE to see it everyday. She can peek when she's ready. Your thing will be tidy and not wrinkled cause they aren't stowed. In my 63 years, my experience with other girls in our realm, go into trouble fastest by declaring their right to dress and rushed into the pink fog , caution thrown to the wind. Soon thereafter, troubles mount!

[bobbimo]

They are hanging, and folded in my drawers.
All my boy clothes are in the back room.

[Rebekah_uk]

If I had answered this question a few nights ago, it would have been hide 'Em. A couple of nights ago my rock star wife who I came out to in February said " I can clear some space for you in the closet.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kristyn, With three closets full I would say hang them up.

[Maria in heels]

Kristyn...

I think that you should hang a few things of Kristyn's on the left side of your closet. Maybe put one or two pairs of shoes on the shelf or under the clothing, and keep your undies in a bag on the floor in the closet. Let her see them, let her process, and before you know it, your closet may look just like mine!

[suchacutie]

Most of Tina's clothes are hanging in our closest on my wife's side! Those couple of things that would really not be her style under any circumstance are in a suit carrier. Tina's shoes are in shoe boxes of my male shoes, with male shoes on too of the boxes. Anybody casually walking into the closet wouldn't notice a thing!

[Sometimes Steffi]

All of my clothes are in boxes, and many of the boxes are in a storage locker.

However, I am thinking of hanging my dresses, BUT only inthe closet in my (private) home office, not in our shared office.

I have a good CD friend whose wife is much more accepting than mine. She uses the smallest bedroom for her things. Eventually she overflowed that closet and put some of her clothes in their shared closet, with her wife's permission. But she didn't get any more space. For every girl thing to come into the closet, a guy thing had to go out.

[karens70]

This is such a tough one, when my wife found out about my dressing and after her initial shock, she is such a kind hearted person she said that if i wanted to put my clothes somewhere we could make room in one of the closets. i thanked her but didnt take her up on it because although she is supportive and would follow through on her promise, it felt like a step too far for me. i had been hiding this secret for so long and her finding out was a big enough of a move forward! and as much as in some ways I would love nothing more than being able to have my clothes hanging or in a drawer its just too much for me. I still keep my clothes in a box on the top shelf at the back of cupboard in my home office which means I am limited on the number I can keep and they also crease. maybe one day I will do it, just not yet...

[CherylFlint]

Make sure they are all clean and ironed, and then hang them up NEATLY.
Make sure everything is in order.
Good luck.

[Allison Chaynes]

My wife knows. However the thread about being concerned about dying pertains to my recent situation. We may have the in laws, who are VERY snoopy and judgemental, here for a couple weeks, so she asked me to move all of Allison's things from the drawers to storage containers and put them in the attic until after I recover, with the exception of a handful of panties that will go in her panty drawer temporarily. However, Allison's skirts, dresses, and hanging clothes will remain in the shared walk in closet.

[CherylFlint]

The "slap in the face" has nothing to do with the SO. This CD thing is a 'X' and 'O' chromosone thing and has nothing whatsoever to do about "wanting" or "choice". Being a CD is just a simple fact of life. A CD is a CD no matter how he/she is dressed, although, being a CD myself, I find it much more relaxing to be in a dress than not. That said, being a happy and content CD isn't easy in the least. It's a lot of hard work to get to the point of "passing", but the rewards are worth it.
Some CD's will never "pass" for various or "whatever" reasons, but for those of us that can and do pass it's more fun than anyone can possibly imagine.
As I said, it takes a lot of effort to achieve the goal to "pass". Most CD's wear too high a heel and too big of breast form. ALL CD's need help and guidence.
For me I found a nice lady who owned a lingerie store where she fitted me with the proper size form ('C' cup).
Another nice lady fitted me for a wig that works with my color and face.
And then it was off to the thrift stores for dresses and skirts. I wasted a lot of money doing it wrong for many years until I decided to do it "right".
The "CD" part of him is what makes "him" him, if you catch my meaning.
A lot of CD's are too much into themselves, true, but with a little understanding you'll get over the feeling of ever "getting slapped in the face".
Good luck. Believe me, it's not easy being a CD, it's just who we are, and not by choice. But to deny the girl part of us may just be denying the best part of ourselves.

[Sarah Doepner]

The moment I knew my wife had accepted my crossdressing was when she told me that my clothes didn't belong being crushed in a duffle bag and they needed to be hung up or folded and put in drawers. The nicest and most supportive thing she ever did regarding this aspect of my life.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If I were a betting man, based on the experiences of many, many others, I would bet that she does not want you to and is just saying that because she wants to make you happy, or is frustrated and doesn't know how to handle it. Like someone else said, do it at your own peril.

[Badwolf]

Mine were hung since before I was dating my SO (bad excuses, that she fell for all the way).

I'd suggest you tell her you're serious about trying it out and put some up. Definitely don't overwhelm her by having a wardrobe twice the size of hers or something like that, that might make feel like she's losing you more than she already is. She's still early in the process and is very likely to, as a lot of people have advised, be saying little things she may not really be ready for. Make sure that you give her the options to back out and do things straight forward from the beginning.

[Maria in heels]

I hope that you are hanging up your clothes Kristin!

[Isabella Ross]

Advice from two Bridgets (actually, this one's a Bridgette) for the price of one: hang 'em. Be confident. And then talk about it...ask if she's okay with it.

[lingerieLiz]

no one here can tell you. Only your wife. I have mine hanging in our closet. She hangs clothes in ours and every other closet in the house. I wouldn't rush it but bring the hangers home and give it time. Integrate your things as time sees fit. She may ask you where your clothes are. Laundry may be the true test. Or it may be nothing. My wife used to make comments about my bras, but now she just washes them with hers.