How do you select your new CD/TG friends?

[FionaAlexis]

When I came on the internet, it was before the tranny forum days and I used to spend time going through the big tranny directories and linked websites. I still do on occasions. I can’t remember exactly how I decided who to contact – but I think it was principally based on similar profile – though I know looks played a part. I didn’t particularly worry about the location – in fact an early and firm friend is Laura Coral in Mexico.

So what motivates you to contact someone?

Is it looks or sexual attraction?
Similar standard of transformation?
Better standard of transformation?
Profile - and similar interests?
Similar tranny outlook?
Similar Age?
Close Location?

Fiona xx

[Deborah]

So what motivates you to contact someone?

Profile - and similar interests?
Similar tranny outlook?
Similar Age?

Fiona xx

Long term friends i have made have all been from similar tranny outlook.
The other two were just people i've talked to for a little while.
Great topic. Nice to see something refreshing. :D

[FionaAlexis]

You're so fast Deborah. Thanks. Can you vote too!

Fiona xx

ps Where's the 'rainy state' - Washington?

[ReginaK]

I tend to gravitate towards people are like me. Similar age and size. Especially if they are further along than I am. It kinda gives me hope. So I always contact those I could call role models.

[FionaAlexis]

I tend to gravitate towards people are like me. Similar age and size. Especially if they are further along than I am. It kinda gives me hope. So I always contact those I could call role models.

Thanks Regina. I didn't think of size/height.

The poll is mutiple choice too.

Fiona xx

[Darlena]

Come on now. I see six different catagories with 50 points each.Is this poll slanted or what? I think I'll go with the girls. But don't get me wrong. I might be right. Love & kisses,

[FionaAlexis]

Come on now. I see six different catagories with 50 points each.Is this poll slanted or what?

Sorry Darlena - It's multiple choice. It may end up like a dog's breakfast but it may be revealing.

Fiona xx

[Angela Burke]

I would say simlar profile/ similar outlook.
Smartly dressed (skirt and blouse) mature woman.
Love those poll results.
Reminds me of Gene Wilder selling shares in " Springtime for Hitler" in "The Producers!".

[Darlena]

Nobody knows the trouble I've Been.. nobody knows the sorrow.., "DARLENA is The SHE DEVIL" She'll rope you in. She'll have her way with you. Watch Out ! Because she is the "She Devil" incarnate. You can call her,"Cruella" if you wanna.You might even call her Lucie Ferr. But don't call her late for dinner. Love & kisses,

[FionaAlexis]

Love those poll results.
Reminds me of Gene Wilder selling shares in " Springtime for Hitler" in "The Producers!".

Hi Angela,

Yes, I'm in fear now it will end up with 5 or 6 exactly equal lines. Sometimes you can be too smart!

Did you just change your name back?

Fiona xx

[Darlena]

Fiona, my dear, I think perchance I might have entered the "Repeate" button more than I needed to. By the equation of 2 to 1 or so...But, the point being is that I am glad that you took the time to get back to me. That is something special and dear. Thank you. Love & kisses,

[Angela Burke]

Hi Fiona,
Yes I did,
I thought that as there are so many Angelas here that changing to Angie would narrow down a search of previous posts.
It didn't work (Miss smarty panties!).
And I did feel a bit guilty shoving Angela to one side, after all she's been with me most of my life.
So I'm back to being Angela, (just the same girl).
Don't change the poll. I wan't to see how it ends up!

[Miriannah]

I have no idea, that's why I'm reading this topic. Ideally they'd be someone around my own age, in the same area as me with similar interests. Yeah, that's pretty picky, but that's just how I am with friends. I'm very choosy. :(

[FionaAlexis]

Yeah, that's pretty picky, but that's just how I am with friends. I'm very choosy. :(

I think the 'chose-y-ness' increases with the intention of meeting in real life? Then all kinds of considerations come into it - privacy, security, compatability...?

Fiona xx

[DonnaT]

I picked similar interests and close location.

Interests are most likely based on Internet contact like these forums. Then, if close enough, a meeting can be arranged. Of course, close, to me, can be a 5 hour drive.

But mainly the friendships are online with the possiblity of meeting sometime if we find ourselves in close proximity.

[pattied]

I picked similar interests and close location.

Interests are most likely based on Internet contact like these forums. Then, if close enough, a meeting can be arranged. Of course, close, to me, can be a 5 hour drive.

But mainly the friendships are online with the possiblity of meeting sometime if we find ourselves in close proximity.

I picked the same items, for much the same reason... Though the web does a wonderful job of bringing all of us together, so proximity for meeting, by my definition, is within a couple hours drive, save for big events.

[_Sheli_]

Goodness!! I remember back when all you could do is search some AWFUL sites! and then those discusting chat formats!!
I guess my choice was based on how I relate to others when I get a chance to chat with them via e-mail or other. I look for the same outlook and kinda the same agenda as I have , and going thru simalar things in our transgender walk!! Ahhh Well enought typed!! good question tho!!

hugs! Sheli

[kathy gg]

HI,

When I first got involved in the community, I was looking to date within it. Webpage sites were a good start, and since I lived in hickville Texas I kinda did not think I would find someone relaly close to me to date. I found two distinct crossdressers though, those whose femme idenity revolved around the sexual/vanity/pictures only and those who shared about their story of how they came to be, maybe with some pics, but more on their feelings. I would send them a short email explaing who I was and what I was looking for. I found many gals lied about their age online. Some would say mid thirties, but then tell me later theyy were late 50's. Which was wayyy to old for me.

When I came across my huby's site he was very much grounded in who he was and also looked really cute. And you could kinda tell as a guy he would be cute as well. But mostly I loved his honesty and off beat humor.

Once we married, I mainly liked to make friends with people who seemed about the same level as us. But as it happned, most times people contacted us after visitng our site. And the best part we have live long friends now, three couples locally and two from a distance. A few years back we were able to go visit the one gg friend I made in NYC who also was into cd's and I hope eventually we can plan a visit {or vise-versa} with the other couple we hvae made friends with on the forum here.

Having the same interests or on the same level is important when I made freinds online. If it turns out the cd stuff is all I have in common with someone, chances are the friendship will not grow.

Hugs

[Julie York]

Friends?

Wow they've got everything here.




All the nut jobs with a sense of humour sort of gravitate towards each other. Works for me.:D

[Jasmine Ellis]

I would say. Anyone who like to have a chat and make me laugh then she would be a friend for life.

[Amelie]

I voted "I don't, they contact me"

But if I was to make friends, I would take pics of Cds, stick them on the wall, then through darts at them. Whoever gets a dart between the eye is my new friend.

Although I do agree with Julie about the nutcases seem to attract each other, right Julie,:D

[MsJordan]

I tend to chat and become acquainted with girls who are closer to me and I have a good chance of meeting and also those who have similar interests. Well..to be honest, I've chatted with all cds and could have voted in many of the catergories but its mostly proximity, similar appearance and contacts, age does somewhat play a part.

[Julie York]

But if I was to make friends, I would take pics of Cds, stick them on the wall, then through darts at them. Whoever gets a dart between the eye is my new friend.

,:D

OW..OW...OW...OW

[FionaAlexis]

Having the same interests or on the same level is important when I made freinds online. If it turns out the cd stuff is all I have in common with someone, chances are the friendship will not grow.


Very true, Kathy. Even in tranny social groups I found that just being TG wasn't enough to form a friendship.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

But if I was to make friends, I would take pics of Cds, stick them on the wall, then through darts at them. Whoever gets a dart between the eye is my new friend.


Question is Amelie - Do you throw blindfold or are you just a seriously bad dart thrower?

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

All the nut jobs with a sense of humour sort of gravitate towards each other. Works for me.:D

Yes that works. It certainly lengthens the life of 'net friendships - most of which collapse in mutual disinterest after a few months.

Do you also gravitate to those who find you funny - but 'have nothing to give you' - as Andy Roddick said yesterday.

BTW like the new avatar!

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

I tend to chat and become acquainted with girls who are closer to me and I have a good chance of meeting and also those who have similar interests. Well..to be honest, I've chatted with all cds and could have voted in many of the catergories but its mostly proximity, similar appearance and contacts, age does somewhat play a part.

Judging by your avatar, Jordan - you are probably contacted by a number of girls who would fall into the 'fan' category? This would be true for Amelie too. I just wonder how you handle those.

Fiona xx

[Reana]

All of the original choices but location, age, level of femme appearance, and communication skills are most important. Although not one of the original choices, communication is a major part of the "grading" process.

[FionaAlexis]

Although not one of the original choices, communication is a major part of the "grading" process.

I assume you contact a few or respond to lots who contact you - and wittle them down to those you have a genuine connection with.

Do you mean communicate at the same level with you? Or just generally communicate well?

Fiona xx

[Amelie]

Question is Amelie - Do you throw blindfold or are you just a seriously bad dart thrower?

Fiona xx

I am lousey at darts, I keep hitting my foot.

As far as CD friends. Friends come in many ways. If I see someone has something in common like geography or tastes(goth) or maybe even if they say interesting things in their posts. I sometimes PM them and make a comment and then friends are made. There are different reasons I become frinds with someone. Sometimes I even become friends with someone after a heated debate. lol And sometimes they contact me.

[Fallen Angel]

I li8ke a girl with a simular out look i think its importain to be your self and have fun..

[Deborah]

You're so fast Deborah. Thanks. Can you vote too!

Fiona xx

ps Where's the 'rainy state' - Washington?

Ok voted LOL yes i guess i was a little to quick.
Washington state....yes been raining almost non stop for the past month. :(

[FionaAlexis]

There are different reasons I become frinds with someone. Sometimes I even become friends with someone after a heated debate. lol And sometimes they contact me.

That's a good point. I haven't formed close friendships with anyone I've had arguments with but, in one particular case, I've ended up having huge respect for them.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

...............i think its importain to be your self and have fun..

Hi Angel - Yes. be yourself...

[MsJordan]

Judging by your avatar, Jordan - you are probably contacted by a number of girls who would fall into the 'fan' category? This would be true for Amelie too. I just wonder how you handle those.

Fiona xx


I have my share of male admirers and it bugs me!! I HATE IT!! No matter how many times I tell them I'm not into guys they mess with me anyway!! I do get alot of girls saying they are fans but only chat with them briefly. There are maybe 3 or 4 girls that I considers real cd friends but always open to more!!

[FionaAlexis]

Looks like - 'similar profile - similar interests' is way out in front.

I have in the past contacted girls who were different or unique or enigmatic cos I was really interested in their profile - even though they were nothing like me.

Also I just wonder how far that stretches? Even if the other girl is a not in your league.

Fiona xx

[Reana]

I assume you contact a few or respond to lots who contact you - and wittle them down to those you have a genuine connection with.

Do you mean communicate at the same level with you? Or just generally communicate well?

Fiona xx I think the two areas you refer to generally come in the same package. I'm impressed positively by anyone that can carry on an intelligent thoughtful conversation, but a person that thinks in a similar fashion to myself in terms of this lifestyle and what we want from it makes an even better connection. I do want to add that I will talk with nearly anyone that is respectful and comes across as being "real" and honest. :bs:

[Paula Rae]

Hey Fiona,
I don't pick them and I don't think they pick me either, we just sort of gravitate to each other,
probably for a variety of reasons.

Ricki B

[Kim E]

Hi Fiona ~
Excellent question, never really thought about it until now. I've probably made a dozen good friends on various forums over the years. About half contacted me and I contacted the others. We chat on Yahoo all the time and have gotten to know each other very well.

Plus I've made 4 very close friends, 2 from this forum and 2 from a Transsexual forum. By close friends I mean we exchange cards and photos through the mail as well as talk on the phone and chat online. We also share numerous hobbies and interests.

So on your poll, I went with similar interests and they contact me.

Kim

[FionaAlexis]

I do want to add that I will talk with nearly anyone that is respectful and comes across as being "real" and honest. :bs:

Me too Reana. I enjoy finding out about different people and I learn more that way.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Hey Fiona,
I don't pick them and I don't think they pick me either, we just sort of gravitate to each other,
probably for a variety of reasons.

Ricki B

Hi Ricki,

But that would be on forums where or out real time where get to read each others posts or listen. It's the best way though.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Fiona ~
Plus I've made 4 very close friends, 2 from this forum and 2 from a Transsexual forum. By close friends I mean we exchange cards and photos through the mail as well as talk on the phone and chat online. We also share numerous hobbies and interests.

Kim

Thanks Kim.

4 VCFs is pretty good - most don't make it past 2 or 3 months with me. Interested in you moving to telephone chat, do you have a femme voice? or do you find yourself feminising your voice subconsciously?

Fiona xx

[Falcor]

Well Fiona,to me it's age related,everything else a distant second.
The difficulty I have here,is how successful a friendship,forged by anonymity via this media, can be?
I accept the fact that many aspects of our cding is strikingly familiar,and that in itself is a good enough basis for friendship and support.To me,I wonder if these friendships are as binding,as those we already have[they probably are ].
cheers....fal[old cynic]

[FionaAlexis]

Well Fiona,to me it's age related,everything else a distant second.
The difficulty I have here,is how successful a friendship,forged by anonymity via this media, can be?
I accept the fact that many aspects of our cding is strikingly familiar,and that in itself is a good enough basis for friendship and support.To me,I wonder if these friendships are as binding,as those we already have[they probably are ].
cheers....fal[old cynic]

Thank you Fal.

Well I think you can form very good and lasting friendships that commence in anonymity but I think you have to be a bit wary if not sceptical.

However you can't be totally anonymous. Others can correct me if I'm wrong, but most are more likely to respond those with a profile and photo. Having been in the position where I had neither I can tell you its tough going. Although having said that I have a friend in Sydney who arranged to meet an internet contact who turned out to be nothing like their supposed photo. And I mean nothing.

Fiona xx

[CammyT]

Aloha,
I would have to say similar interests, maybe goals as well. To me age is just a number, height and weight just raw stats having no real meaning to a person's true self.
Just be honest and true to yourself, it'll make things so much better if you can be open about who you are and what expectations you desire.

[FionaAlexis]

Aloha,
I would have to say similar interests, maybe goals as well.

Never thought about 'goals' - but, yes, I can see that moving in the same direction would be beneficial to maintaining a friendship.

Fiona xx

[ronda]

i picked people close in location so that i might have a chance to meet them i don't personely know another cder but i hope to meet some soon.:D

[TGMarla]

For the most part, my CD friends have contacted me. If we hit it off, for whatever reason, we become friends. I don't e-mail a lot, or chat a lot, but that doesn't matter to me. I'm a friendly gal, and if people want to be friends, I'm always up for that. I really don't care how old they are. I'm not into the fetish scene, or obsessed with panties or anything like that, though. So when girls contact me to tell me all about their thongs, I'm really just not interested. But really, friendly people are what they are, and I'm rather friendly, too.

[livy_m_b]

Similar profile and similar tranny outlook - even tho I don't like the tranny term...

However, many of those I like by those criteria also turn out not to be extremely different in age (in my opinion - they may not agree!)

Basically, I look for people who feel feminine, want to act and be perceived as women, be accepted in everyday life, have no sexual agenda with me at least - and why would they! - who have similar life/era experiences, and similar interests - thinking, reading, movies, discussing - (yes, I'm really boring!). There's nothing on my list for disqualifying rgs tho that wasn't the question. :) If you're real, and feel like a woman in the above senses, I'll probably like you.

[insearchofme]

I wish we could have picked more than one way to choose TG/CD friends. I chose similar age because I feel more comfortable initially talking with someone my age. I feel a little creepy trying to chat with a younger person, probably that "dirty old man/woman attitude" some people get when you try to get to know a younger person.

Then I'd look for similar profile or interests then similar tranny attitiude. It's not just one thing it's the total package.

[Karren H]

I wish we could have picked more than one way to choose TG/CD friends. I chose similar age because I feel more comfortable initially talking with someone my age. I feel a little creepy trying to chat with a younger person, probably that "dirty old man/woman attitude" some people get when you try to get to know a younger person.

Then I'd look for similar profile or interests then similar tranny attitiude. It's not just one thing it's the total package.

I knew you were a dirty old something, Dana!!!! Hehehehe Love you anyway!!

Love Karren

[Stormgirl]

Where is the option for don't have any CD/TG friends

[FionaAlexis]

i picked people close in location so that i might have a chance to meet them i don't personely know another cder but i hope to meet some soon.:D

I hope so to, Ronda.

[FionaAlexis]

I don't e-mail a lot, or chat a lot, but that doesn't matter to me. I'm a friendly gal, and if people want to be friends, I'm always up for that. I really don't care how old they are. I'm not into the fetish scene, or obsessed with panties or anything like that, though. So when girls contact me to tell me all about their thongs, I'm really just not interested. But really, friendly people are what they are, and I'm rather friendly, too.

Hi Marla,

I did email and chat quite a bit mainly because I like to find out about others. But I agree that once the discussion focusses on a particular fetish or whatever I glaze over a bit - though I do enjoy chatting about fashion generally.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Basically, I look for people who feel feminine, want to act and be perceived as women, be accepted in everyday life, have no sexual agenda with me at least - and why would they! - who have similar life/era experiences, and similar interests - thinking, reading, movies, discussing - (yes, I'm really boring!). There's nothing on my list for disqualifying rgs tho that wasn't the question. :) If you're real, and feel like a woman in the above senses, I'll probably like you.

Hi livy,

Sorry about the 'tranny'. Its a term I've grown up with.

Do I sense you are quite happy if an RG has a sexual agenda?


Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

I feel a little creepy trying to chat with a younger person, probably that "dirty old man/woman attitude" some people get when you try to get to know a younger person.



Yes, I do too a bit especially if they are very young. I don't mind if its in the context of seeking advice etc. - but not in the 'lets be friends' sense. I always suspect an ulterior motive?

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

I knew you were a dirty old something, Dana!!!! Hehehehe Love you anyway!!

Love Karren

Karren - what about you?

I think I added you to my Y360 recently. It was a decision entirely based on our intellectual compatability - and nothing to do with looks I can assure you.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Where is the option for don't have any CD/TG friends

You don't need one Aubrey.

[insearchofme]

I knew you were a dirty old something, Dana!!!! Hehehehe Love you anyway!!

Love Karren

I thought that was our "little secret".

Love you too, hugs and kisses,