January 2014 promise to Jackie

[Jackie F]

December last year I told the wife big changes were coming for Jackie, she was not happy. In January I posted all my plans of progression here on this forum. Many of you warned me to go slow. In January I started under dressing more, shopping more (grab and buy type) and even went in public under dressed. the further I went the more the wife pulled away.
The second Friday of February Both my Dad and mother in-law went into the hospital. Of course two different hospitals 30 miles apart. From February till June my mother in-law was between hospitals and rehab centers not once making it to her home. In June the doc's finally got the meds right and she is home doing wonderful! My dad moved in with the wife and I in February and stayed with us until he passed in June. This was the most difficult and most wonderful time of my life.
There still has not been much time for Jackie. In this 5 month time frame Jackie has found time here and there to get more comfortable shopping. (Not the grab and buy type). I have bought two very nice dresses, a skirt and two blouses! With no privacy to wear them. Six siblings, 18 grandchildren, aunts, uncles and friends in and out of the house constantly. I also bought a peach cammi and shorts that I was to use as my pajama's, the wife told me she would never reach for me in the middle of the night if I were to wear this. OUCH.:((((
Two weeks ago the wife was to be gone from 10 am till 12 am on a Saturday.(this never happens) and did I have plans!!!
A couple hours at the office, shopping for clothing and makeup. Then the rest of the day en femme!!!!!! with the whole house to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I through my back out and ended up on the floor with ice and doing my stretches all day. I did put on my new pj's. Later in the evening I was feeling better and put on a dress, under garments and my heels. Bad idea heels and a bad back so I just sat on the couch watching TV all dressed up occasionally changing dresses, earrings and shoes (no makeup). It was so relaxing first time in months I felt zero pressure. I was able to totally let go of everything.
I have been on the forum when I could find the time. I have posted very little because I just had nothing to say.
Now I sit here not looking for pity just sharing and thinking out loud.
I now know Jackie is a big part of me and will always be. I know she does not have to be dressed to be prevalent, but will be when she can. I know she will slowly progress when the situation allows.
Since January Jackie has not completed any of her promises however she has grown far more than I could have planned.
THANK YOU for being here for me!:)

[Jenniferathome]

I can appreciate that you need some time for your "Jackie" side but ignoring your wife's feelings about it is folly. You really need o talk to her about what she can handle and not so as not to cross a line which from which you can't recover.

[Jackie F]

Hi Jennifer
The wife and I are fine. Rules have been made, lines have been drawn and we are agreement on all things.
My wife realizes who I am and has chosen to not be apart of Jackie. I do not hide nor do I lie to her. This is what I meant when I stated Jackie has grown as a person. Before she left that Saturday she told me to have fun. She new my plans without me having to tell her and when I told her I through out my back all she said was she would plan another day out so I could have fun.

[Katey888]

First of all my sincerest condolences on the passing of your father, Jackie - I think that in itself encapsulates how the worst of things can drive more pleasurable pursuits into the background.. :hugs: But good news on your M-in-Law... :)

And it's good that you accept and understand that your progress - however slow and frustrating it may seem - is exactly that: progress...

With perhaps the one obvious exception of your wife - who was and appears to remain, not happy... I fear you still have some serious thinking and negotiating to do here - but only you know what you want out of this and whether or not the likely consequences will be worth it. And it sounds like consequences of some sort might be looming - I hope you can manage that aspect of your relationship with your wife successfully... :)

Good luck - nice of you to share with us...

Katey x

[CynthiaD]

Condolences on your father. That's a tough loss. I lost my father over 20 years ago, and I still miss him. Family always comes first. It's tough not having any CD time, but having friends and relatives around is a good thing too.

[Jenniferathome]

Hi Jennifer
The wife and I are fine. Rules have been made, lines have been drawn and we are agreement on all things. ...

Excellent! My misunderstanding.