Good Arguments

[LelaK]

What are good arguments to use in defense of crossdressing?

And how do these compare?
1. Women are free to dress in men's clothes. Why shouldn't men have the freedom to dress in women's clothes?
(Because other men don't like to be fooled into thinking a guy is a girl?)
2. Men can wear long hair, ear rings, etc. Why not dresses?
3. Why do you oppose freedom, or liberty, or equal rights?
4. Why should there be prejudice against "men" looking "feminine"?
5. Some people are born homosexuals. They don't choose it. Some "men" are born with more or less feminine identity and some "women" with masculine identity. They don't choose it either.

[Marcelle]

Hi Lela,

How about . . . "Because I choose to and that is my right" :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[Jenniferathome]

"Insanity runs in my family," will usually get you through the day.

[hope springs]

I suspect most peoples prejudice against it is an irrational fear. As such they probably wont listen to reason. A wife or SO argument is obvious, they prefer manly looking men. Really no arguing against that since its a preference/orientation and not necessarily a prejudice. I havnt had to defend my choice yet. When arguing it should be easy to tell if they are open to your POV. If they arent then there is no point in trying.
Having said all that, your defenses are reasonable. And i agree with Isha, its who you are and its a free country (sort of, but dont get me started)

[Teresa]

Lelak someone has got to buy those larger sized shoes !!

If you ask enough GGs the same question you'll get some great counter arguments !
Whether we have good arguments or not it's not going change the way we are, and some people will never be convinced and go on thinking it's a childish thing we have never grown out of !!

[bridget thronton]

Well, I know no argument other than I prefer not wearing pants.

[CynthiaD]

Those are great, Lela. Here are a few more. (I've never had to use these, but I thought them up a while back, just in case.)

1. Because dresses are a thousand times more comfortable than pants.

2. I dress this way to cover my nakedness.

3. You mean you don't crossdress? How weird!

4. Because today is Tuesday. I'm only a man on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

5. Because this is the way I like to dress. Get over it!

Good topic. Thanks for the thought.

[Krisi]

The first two have been hashed out before on this forum and they are pretty weak arguments in my opinion. The other three are not far behind.

If you feel the need to argue in favor of crossdressing, you are hanging around with the wrong crowd. And nothing you say is going to change their opinion.

If someone questions you, tell them you crossdress because you like to. Then walk away.

[Stephanie47]

How about just saying "I don't know why I like to wear women's clothing!" As far as I am concerned that is the God's honest truth. All the rest is BS to cover up the fact you really don't know. You may no the pleasure it brings. Or the stress relief. But, you really don't know what brought you to this activity. If I knew why I cross dress, then I would have an opportunity to "undo" it. Why I do what I have done for over fifty years no longer concerns me. Enjoy the moment.

[Sandra]

1. Women are free to dress in men's clothes.


This doesn't wash, yes women can wear mens clothing but unless they are FtM they are not trying to emulate a man like cders are trying when dressing as a woman.

[kimdl93]

Who would I be arguing with?

If pressed, I would simply state the obvious: These are my clothes.

[NicoleScott]

We start the argument with one foot in a hole if we think we have to defend crossdressing. The drive to crossdress: it is what it is. We didn't cause it, and we can't stop it. So we deal with it. That's easy enough, it's dealing with people that's hard.

[PaulaQ]

Those are all good arguments. Honestly, past "I was born this way," there isn't much else to be said.

As for women being accepted in men's clothes, they fought hard for that right. I assert that CDs and other gender variant folks are going to have to stand up and be heard if you want acceptance in society.

[Leslie Langford]

Lela, one approach might be to take a page out of the feminist manifesto when it comes to demanding equality in such areas as freedom of choice, equal opportunities for all, opposition to sexism, misogyny, bullying, and "sl*t-shaming" etc....in other words, the overall assertion of your basic human rights which shouldn't be limited by gender.

Just insert the term "transgender" or "crossdresser" for the word "women" or female" in the text, and you're there...

[Confucius]

The arguments in defense of cross-dressing requires an understanding of your opponent. You would not use the same defense when speaking to a friend, as you would use with your wife, or with your employer. Each of them are coming from a different perspective.

When speaking to your wife, she has specific needs. She probably needs to feel loved by a man and needs to love a man she can respect and honor. She feels as if she is losing her man when you cross-dress. Your argument has to be that you are still her man even when you cross-dress. Cross-dressing will not interfere with your intimate times, nor will you do anything that is beyond her tolerances. However, just as she has specific needs, so too you have specific needs so we need to find a compromise where each can satisfy our basic needs.

If you are wearing a T-shirt that says, "Hi, I Crossdress", and people stop and ask you why? Then you can simply say that society looks upon its youth to challenge our social conventions in order to expand our freedoms and tolerances. You are just doing your part to challenge social convention.

Society needs those who are different. We add color to life.

[Zylia]

Those arguments might have held some water if you willingly ignore all the gender identity issues or transvestic fetishism issues many cross-dressers have to deal with. In general, it's not that cross-dressers like clothing that happens to be women's clothing, they like women's clothing because it's women's clothing, helping them to emulate their (cartoon) version of a woman.

The sole argument for allowing cross-dressers to be cross-dressers is because they ARE cross-dressers. Other people just have to deal with their own insecurities.

[prettytoes]

This doesn't wash, yes women can wear mens clothing but unless they are FtM they are not trying to emulate a man like cders are trying when dressing as a woman.

I personally am not trying to emulate a woman at all. I don't use makeup, I don't have forms, and I have a mustache...not a very pretty woman. I simply like the way women's clothing fits and feel. I love the way a skirt brushes my legs, and how a sports bra hugs me tight, as well as many other tactile sensations.

[Tracii G]

I wear what I want and nobody says much of anything so I guess none of those apply in my case.

[Gillian Gigs]

The best defence is a good offence.
"So who made you the Judge of me"!
"So what are you...the fashion Police?"
"I like to wear a short skirt, so you can kiss my a$$ easier!"
"It takes a real man to wear pink...want to see the color of my....."

[LelaK]

This doesn't wash, yes women can wear mens clothing but unless they are FtM they are not trying to emulate a man like cders are trying when dressing as a woman.
I don't try to emulate women either. I emulate beauty and some other qualities, few of which are "masculine".

Thanks for all the good arguments and non-arguments.

[Paula_Femme]

We start the argument with one foot in a hole if we think we have to defend crossdressing. The drive to crossdress: it is what it is. We didn't cause it, and we can't stop it. So we deal with it. That's easy enough, it's dealing with people that's hard.

Nicole is absolutely right! I have argued with friends and colleagues the "rights" of people to be "different" or act/live outside of what they consider to be societies "norms," a moving target if ever there was one! :heehee:

My starting position is ALWAYS how does the guy wearing make-up and/or a dress, or the girl marrying her girlfriend, cause you, OR anyone esle, harm?

Oh, it doesn't? Then why do you care?!?!?!

End of argument... anything else is usually some irrational hatred/bigotry or, imaginary-friend-in-the-sky moral transgression. e.g. BS!!! :angry:

[Kate T]

1,2 and 4 are cringeworthy for a variety of reasons not the least of which implying that women somehow are not feminine enough or that we have some sort of right to define feminine.
3 and 5 are reasonable arguments. You just need to be careful about where you draw a line in the sand. E.g. is it appropriate for someone to walk the street with no clothes on or is that indecent exposure?

[celeste26]

I like "these are my clothes."

[sometimes_miss]

One old axiom says that you never win an argument. That said, few women will listen to 'reason' when it comes to guys wearing girl clothes, and behaving like girls. Women go with their feelings first, then come up with sensible reasons to support those feelings. So while you may win the battles, you'll almost always lose the wars. Most women are not attracted to men who crossdress, an no argument will change how they feel.

[Wildaboutheels]

Most people in this world are all too willing to simply follow the latest fashion trend.

I prefer to set them.

SOMEone has to do it.

Don't they?

[noeleena]

Hi,

Is it just crossdressing here or is there an underlieing factor , if it was ,,,just,,,about wearing a dress or skirt and top would that be enough. i doubt there would be a yes....

Join our SCA world wide reinactment group , our men dress in dress,s and look quite lovely ,,ya ya i know its not how a man see,s it , or do they , i dont know not being a male how would i know any way , or maybe you can answer that ,

So really your not saying the all of it , it goes far further than just a dress, its about being like us its so much more , its you wont to be like us yet bail out and return to being you a male , till next time,..... right......

So would you just wear a dress down the road or street and just be who you are and look as you are no doubt seen most days at work or what ever you do ,

You said women can wear any thing , okay i can if i wont to , i dont though , because i would look stupid in frilly clothes , or really feminine wear lets say a Ball gown it would not suit how i look come on lets face it, not all of us can wear any thing .

Im trying to think of some really lovely clothes yes theres a .....okay i cant get them , i was thinking of the flaminco Spanish dancers , one i really like you have a look for them and youll see what im on about.

Okay , they are really really lovely just so neat , yea, ....Well i would not even think of wearing one no way , and this really does get to me (( even though im an Edwardian woman and dress in those styles 1900 -14 , )) .

I would look so stupid it would not look right on me and id look a down right fool......and i,d be so ashamed to even try let alone wear it some where to one of our meetings,

You know this, women = females can wear thier clothes and bring them to life okay ,

All i can do is just wear them , even with my Edwardian clothes im very aware of how i look . so it has to be plain ,

So the comment of we can wear any thing, for some of us is not true,

I understand and know many men can and do wear some lovely clothes and look rather lovely , i know my limitions and ill stay with in those,

This is why i prefer my Renaissance garb at least they suit my facial features , oh well,,,,,,

...noeleena...

[MatildaJ.]

Women go with their feelings first, then come up with sensible reasons to support those feelings.

People go with their feelings first, then come up with sensible reasons to support those feelings.

[Allison Chaynes]

As much as I try to avoid politics here, my libertarian streak guides me to the belief that as long as one's activities and actions do not cause demonstrable harm to others, there should not be legislation stopping people from doing whatever they wish to. Therefore, unless your CDing physically or financially harms others, no justification is required.

[Walkintallnheels]

Have there ever been any (good) arguments? Really