email to a friend

[Shawn_Always]

Hi everyone!

The following is an excerpt, with permission ;-) from an email conversation between me and my first friend on the site, andy66. (Thank you, BTW)

>"Andy, I bought this [outfit] on clearance...
This is the first time I have attempted any photos dressed to any degree. My wife hasn't seen me dressed...I think were still a good way off from that..."
>
>"Holy crap, thats you? You look absolutely fantastic! Your legs look amazing ... Wow, thanks for sharing. Too bad you cant share this with your wife yet. She has no idea what shes missing."

>"I wish I could share it with her but now isn't the time. She's had a lot of health problems over the last several years ... and she is extremely self conscious about her appearance. [Medication] ... has caused her a lot of problems with her [physical appearance] and consequently, her self esteem. She says that she shouldn't be [able] to share clothing [with me] ... It really breaks my heart to see her hurt so bad and I can't do anything to fix it. I see a counselor to help deal with life and all it brings. I also talk to [my counselor] about my cding to try to better understand myself. My wife goes with me sometimes to help with dealing with what's going on [in our lives]."
>
>"We have a wonderful marriage with lots of love and open communication but like I said, I don't think now is the right time to go all out. Eventually, I'd love for her and I to be able to go do things together [with me occasionally dressed] ... maybe some day. Right now, she needs her man to be there and to continue to do all that I can to help get through ... no matter what or for how long."

CDing is a part of me and what she knows so far is minimal and I feel terrible at times because of this. Our marriage is a strong one based on trust and honesty and unconditional love. Even still, finding the right way for me to be able to try to explain this and help us both to understand this is probably the hardest thing I've dealt with. I appreciate you all and the wealth of knowledge that you all provide here!

Thank you!

Shawn

[Andy66]

Thats what we are here for, Shawn. Thats what your counselor is there for too. Sad about your wifes health. I hope she gets better soon.

[CynthiaD]

Sorry to hear about your wife's health problems. She is your number one priority right now. CDing can wait for better times. I hope better times come for both of you soon.

Cynthia

[Shawn_Always]

Thanks Cynthia. I appreciate the kind words. She certainly is my number one everything! She's been there for me as I'm there for her. Just trying to learn all I can because this is part of me and I want to understand so I can help her understand.

[Katey888]

I can empathise Shawn.. :hugs:

My wife has serious health issues and that is one of the reasons that I have to keep this side of me from her... I know this is my choice and my responsibility but sometimes in life there is no 'win-win'... you just have to choose a path you think is right and delivers the best outcome for others - so you're not alone, and I know there are others here who have been in similar circumstances...

Just take your time - all things come to s/he who waits... :meditate:

Katey x

[Teresa]

Shawn ,
It's the part of CDing you could hate, you have to be supportive and you have what feels like a selfish need . She sounds a wonderful person that still supports you even through her own illness !
I hope she makes a full recovery soon, I wish you both best wishes .

[Shawn_Always]

Katey, thank you so much for that! I agree that there isn't always a perfect scenario and that is the reason why compromise and understanding and patience are so important. I'm sure that I still have alot to learn which is just another reason why I'm here.

Theresa, she is an absolutely beautiful, amazing, wonderful, peron. Knowing what she knows (education) and having been with her for 10 years, I'm always amazed by her. She may never make what one would call a "full recovery" but what I wish for her is that she can get to a point where she is able to regain her independence and self esteem...for her, not me. I agree that it is a "selfish" need because I need to understand it. Ugh!!

I've looked and asked my counselor, and can't find any kind of "local" support groups so this is (to me) the closest thing. Frankly, in some ways this is better.

Anyway ...

I feel that I can't help her understand it if I don't. That's at least one reason what we're here for after all right?

Thanks girls... this helps!!