Being able to laugh about it

[JamieG]

I wanted to share a conversation my wife and I had this morning before I left for work.

WIFE: "Have a great day. Be good!"
ME: "Be good? Those are unreasonable expectations. I'm bad, very bad."
WIFE: (appraising my cleancut image) "Yeah, right."
ME: (conspiratorially) "Sometimes, when no one's around, I put on women's clothing."
WIFE: (laughs and pretends to be shocked, then adds seriously) "I do too. I'm even wearing a skirt" (indicates her current outfit)
ME: (in mock outrage) "And skin tight leggings. It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

I know I am lucky that my wife and I have reached a stage where I can bring up crossdressing and not only does it not degenerate into a screaming match, but we are actually able to have playful banter about it.

Who else here jokes about crossdressing with their loved ones?

[Emi_]

This whole thing is really a big joke when you think about it. We're dudes in women's clothing. To me, that's just about as ridiculous as it gets. You see all these threads about "deep" thoughts about cross-dressing and the "hardships" of being trans* but really the whole thing is profoundly silly. What's the point if we're just going to be all "doom and gloom" about it?

[Brianna_H]

My wife and I joke about it, too. We've been through a lot of family losses recently and my crossdressing is another big change, but not a sad one, even for her. When I first painted my toenails, she started calling me "twinkle toes." I seem to have a much thicker skin now about my femme qualities, so I can laugh about it. Before I was so uptight! She's quick to clarify that she's not making fun of me. If anything, she really likes me better without body hair. She's not the straightest person ever, and sometimes I feel like my crossdressing is bringing us both closer to a natural gender balance in our relationship.

Anyway, we find that keeping out sense of humor about crossdressing and everything else has helped us keep our sanity and our relationship together.

[CynthiaD]

Only rarely. I'm usually better off if I don't mention the whole thing.

[Anna H]

We have *Lots* of fun with it. I think it's Very key to how well we get along.

We just view it as some kind of odd harmless quirk that I have...and she's
a girly girl herself, so it works well for us. But, she's known since day 1
(25 years now) so it's been easy for us.

I'd be a total wreck if i were with someone who thought I had some kind
of a "problem"...so i feel very-very-very much for those who don't have it
so easy, and my heart does go out to them. ♥

[Jaylyn]

Not really joke about it but my wife had gotten to a point where she asks me how I feel about something and then she might ask me how Jaylyn feels about it. She did say once to me when I was was whinning about the heat and working outside she said well Jaylyn just needs to put her big girl panties on and get to work. So I guess that was kind of a joke about the CD.

[BillieAnneJean]

With the utmost of compassion for those to whom CDing is anything but humorous..............

A long term relationship involves many changes. Some completely accepted by society. Like the changes a woman may go through from the courtship to the sweat pants and flip flops. From baking to bringing home carry out. Or the other direction. Like the guy who go from opening doors and holding hands to parking on the recliner and saying loving things like "get me a beer".

Humor is a wonderful communication between SOs. Both directions.

My SO and I are just in the humor phase with CDing. Although we have been together for decades, it wasn't until about 22 months ago that I discovered CDing as anything other than a comedy skit on TV. It will be interesting to see how this progresses. But yes, we are starting to see the humor.

But keep in mind that we are significantly conditioned by our culture. In some places out there in the world there is NO humor in CDing. Yet in other places men wear traditional garb that for us looks like a dress or skirt. Think the Swiss Guards at the Vatican, or the Turks, or some men in India, even some Arabs.

So what is "normal" or odd here may be odd or "normal" there.

But it is all SUCH FUN anyway!

[Annaliese]

That is to funny, love it, it is the way it should be for everyone

[kimdl93]

Cute conversation. My wife and I have shared a few light hearted moments regarding my CDing. Nothing particularly memorable.

[RADER]

Your post reminds me of a few times my wife would ask me to help her putting
on her bra. She had mobility problems and used a wheel chair everywhere out side of the house.
So I would help her into her bra; then she would tell me that when we returned home,
She would help me into my bra. Sounds like a deal.
Other times when I was upset about something, she would say to me; "Go and put on your Bra"
You know, it did have a calming affect.
Rader

[Bria]

My wife threatens my with the fashion police sometimes, other times I call her to look at one of the posts on this forum to see some humor in what we do, it seems like it is usually something that Isha did!!!!

If Isha did it is it humor or humour?

Hugs, Bria

[Beverley Sims]

Jamie it is goodto be able to laugh about it.

[Princess Grandpa]

A happy story. More so if I read correctly that it was a bit of a journey to get to this place together. My family interacts much the same way. Both of my grown children and their SO's know about me and in our family very little is off limits for good natured banter.

Hug
Rita

[Teresa]

Jamie, At long last I think I'm heading in that direction, but I'm not pushing my luck. I had some subtle sarcasm after I told my wife about shaving my legs !
Yours is a lovely story, thanks for that .

[kimmy p]

Whenever my wife finds me looking at a young lady.... "You're looking at her outfit again aren't you"? Me... "yes", or as oftern, "No, her shoes. Those heels rock".

[Sheren Kelly]

This whole thing is really a big joke when you think about it. We're dudes in women's clothing.
Well, that may work for you, but it doesn't apply to all who frequent here. Regardless of anatomy, some feel a profound gender dysphoria that goes beyond clothing choice.

[Isabella Ross]

Yes, we laugh about it all the time. Recently, my mother has even gotten in on it. I revealed all to my parents, in their 70s, a few months ago. The reception was loving and way more than I could hope for...yet there was an awkward silence for a couple of months, as if no one really knew what to say. But on a recent visit, my mother announced she was going out to the Legion to play cards with her friends -- and then she asked with a laugh if I wanted to put on a dress and join her. I laughed (and cried a little as well). Humour helps all of our loved ones accept us, me thinks.

[StacyCD]

I wish my wife would say "go and put on your bra!"

[Emi_]

Well, that may work for you, but it doesn't apply to all who frequent here. Regardless of anatomy, some feel a profound gender dysphoria that goes beyond clothing choice.

Still not a reason to get all gloomy about things. Life is for enjoying.

[Jenniferathome]

all the time. cross dressing IS funny

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife and I joke about cding also.

[franlee]

When you can't find humor in this you are either to serious and still finding your place or heading for depression. Either way the laughing at one's self in a non offensive manner and stress release is what makes this mine.

[Jenniferathome]

My wife sent me this. Still cracks me up. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=230190&stc=1

[visualkei]

Hahah! Thanks for sharing that moment with us. It's good people aren't taking themselves so damn seriously. I really and truly believe more of this makes the world a better place.

[Isabella Ross]

Couldn't agree more. And Jennifer, that is pretty hilarious.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jamie, Some subjects are best lift un-talked about.

[bridget thronton]

Humor is often a good appfoach

[UNDERDRESSER]

Laughter, the best medicine.

I told my to-be GF I was a CD, before we actually started dating, we were just "hanging out" together. A few days later, she made a joking comment in a PM. Shortly after that she asked if I was offended, and wasn't meaning to be nasty. I reassured her that I took it in good part and was touched by her ability to be humorous about it. When we finally did end up in bed, at one point I cautioned her to not get her hopes up, as it had been a while and my experience was limited. "Well you certainly got my bra off pretty easily!" I lifted my head, looked at her in amazement, and said "I'm a crossdresser!" She laughed her head off. it was good night.

[Adriana Moretti]

we are guys...who wear dresses...you cant take it too serious..........its fun and healthy to laugh at it

[Jenny Elwood]

Some of you might have seen this one from me before but I will repeat for those who haven't:

My wife's take: "Crossdressing would be funny, if it wasn't so tragic."

My take: "Crosdressing would be tragic, if it wasn't so funny."

Just a short one:

The other day a stranger sent me an sms by accident (wrong number) calling me "Susan". So she said something like this:

"Oh! You have an Afrikaans girl name now as well?" (pronounced "Soe-san" and quite common amongst Afrikaans (my first language) speaking people).

[Susan Smith]

CDing?? OMG I thought it was a coding website! All that talk about soft wear.

[Krististeph]

We do not joke as much as the years roll by, but she'll do something totally supportive and accepting from time to time (she grabs an outfit off my closet rack and tells me to wear it, after seeing me looking at the closet for minutes- trying to decide...) or just funny things: (like the time she used my Olay mousse moisturizer thinking it was hair mousse- that even she tells me "that Olay mousse is lousy...").
But we do laugh, and that is a vital for humans to function in a healthy manner, and even more so in a marriage.

Good job!

[Krisi]

Yesterday I had a massage appointment a 9:00 AM so I couldn't wear a bra. I decided to wash my forms and wig in the spare time. The forms were dry when I got home so I put them away. The wig wasn't so I left it on the stand in the bathroom.

When my wife came home she used the bathroom and when she came out she said "I see you washed your hair." (with a smile on her face).

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

my wife often teases me in a good natured fashion
I thank God every day for her

[Claire Cook]

If we can't laugh about it, there's not much hope for us! My wife and I joke about it often. Let's face it -- we are pretty funny -- so why shouldn't we add that touch of humor so others can get a smile as well?

[Jamie Hugs]

My wife and I are starting to joke about it, but it took a lot to get here, there is so much stress relief in laughter and we all have way to much stress. Jennifer I'm stealing that comic and sending it to my wife now xoxo

[Eringirl]

"Life is far too important to be taken seriously" - Winnie the Pooh. :Peace:

Erin

[Stephanie47]

The closest my wife and I ever get to talking about CD-ing is when she tells me I forgot to put away a pair of panties or a bra and she put it in the laundry area on top of the dryer. I'd settle for a joke. I'd settle for a serious conversation.

[KittyD]

Actually...!
LOVE them flickr pics you's a funny lady :D

[mariehart]

Last night I was hugging my wife and rubbed my hand down her back and feeling her bra strap. I joked 'Omigod you're wearing a bra. ' In imitation of her reaction if she felt mine. She laughed and said she needs to, otherwise she'd be flat on her face. She's has a large bust. She went to walk away, then suddenly getting the joke, ran back and felt my back, saying with a twinkle in her eye. I hope your not wearing a bra?' I laughed and said I'd just taken it off. Which was true.
Now I told my wife recently and she's still not sure one way or another. So I'm trying not to be too much in her face about it. Which is why I took off the bra. But to me her reaction tells me she's more comfortable with it and that she fully expected me to be wearing one.

I do think bringing a bit of humour to it helps. It is a bit ridiculous after all.

[suchacutie]

Tina has added a new dimension to all kinds of discussions. A while back we were sitting at a bar having dinner and the (GG) bartender had interesting makeup, especially her rather flamboyant eye treatment. Out of her ear shot we started a long critique that eventually got pretty silly,but ultimately linked to how each of us would use or not use the techniques our bartender was displaying. It's now evolved to giggling about eye makeup in general as displayed by women (and some men) we meet, or being complimentary when that's appropriate especially when my wife or Tina see something they like! It's just so much fun!

[JamieG]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. Your responses really put a smile on face, especially Jennifer's cartoon. And to those of you for whom crossdressing is not a laughing matter, know you have my sympathies. I know what that's like too. When I first came out to my wife, it almost destroyed our relationship, one in which we had never had a major argument in 6 years! We've even had a big fight over crossdressing as recently as two years ago. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to joke about dressing with my wife now. Please don't take it as bragging or belittling of the sadness or confusion you may feel. I just wanted to share something that made me happy.

[Samantha_Smile]

I wanted to share a conversation my wife and I had this morning before I left for work.

WIFE: "Have a great day. Be good!"
ME: "Be good? Those are unreasonable expectations. I'm bad, very bad."
WIFE: (appraising my cleancut image) "Yeah, right."
ME: (conspiratorially) "Sometimes, when no one's around, I put on women's clothing."
WIFE: (laughs and pretends to be shocked, then adds seriously) "I do too. I'm even wearing a skirt" (indicates her current outfit)
ME: (in mock outrage) "And skin tight leggings. It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

I know I am lucky that my wife and I have reached a stage where I can bring up crossdressing and not only does it not degenerate into a screaming match, but we are actually able to have playful banter about it.

Who else here jokes about crossdressing with their loved ones?

This brought a genuine smile to my face.
Thanks x

[Bootsiegalore]

Wasn't Fred Flintstone's Bowling style named "Twinkle Toes Flintstone"?

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. Your responses really put a smile on face, especially Jennifer's cartoon. And to those of you for whom crossdressing is not a laughing matter, know you have my sympathies. I know what that's like too. When I first came out to my wife, it almost destroyed our relationship, one in which we had never had a major argument in 6 years! We've even had a big fight over crossdressing as recently as two years ago. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to joke about dressing with my wife now. Please don't take it as bragging or belittling of the sadness or confusion you may feel. I just wanted to share something that made me happy.


Jamie

I don't think it's bragging. I love hearing stories like that, but it's not something I ever expect to hear in my house. I hope it's OK if I'm jealous.

I guess the closest I got to this was when my wife was doing spring cleaning. She found one of those plastic container boxes that she was going to throw out, but she gave it to me instead. She said, "I don't know why I'm doing this, but this box is a good place to keep earrings." Mind you, unless she's been snooping, she has never seen any of my earrings, and doesn't really know I have any. Although, it's possible she noticed the redness on my ear lobes after a night of wearing clip-ons.



If we can't laugh about it, there's not much hope for us! My wife and I joke about it often. Let's face it -- we are pretty funny -- so why shouldn't we add that touch of humor so others can get a smile as well?


Unfortunately, we [my wife and I] can't laugh about it. I leave the logical deduction of that fact as a homework assignment.

[Nyla F]

We're shopping for a sports team shirt for her.
ME: you're trying on a men's T-shirt, you are crossdressing!
HER: you wish (giving me the stink eye)

We have a ways to go to get to joking about it.

[ChristinaK]

Awesome conversation! My wife has been pretty slow on the acceptance thing, but a little levity does seem to take the edge off.

The other day I went school shopping for my daughter and bought 2 dresses for my wife. On the phone, in front of my daughter I told her I bought 2 dresses and I'd let her wear them sometimes. She actually thought that was funny, knowing they were really for her, but my joke had some truth to it. Maybe humor helps in the normalisation of how weird we are!

[litlejohn]

Make-up, that is where our humor begins, my wife accepts that i dress and last weekend dressed up with me for the first time.Awesome. the make up is where i think the funniest conversations come from. She helped me the first couple times after she accepted this part of me. It was very rough and rightfully so, I had lied by omission. (For those who haven't, the most scariest thing I ever did. Working for us so far, not everyone is as fortunate.) Now, I guess she wants me to figure out how I want to look and more times than not I go a little overboard. When she sees my interpretation of a seductive woman on me. Well lets just say it is hilarious. She is amazing, she never laughs at me, however her looks are like a picture, worth a thousand words.
Now if I could just get her to say a few of them for pointers I'd pass. Not. maybe a little closer though

[Claire Cook]

Unfortunately, we [my wife and I] can't laugh about it. I leave the logical deduction of that fact as a homework assignment.

Steffi, I am sorry to hear this. Would that more of our wives / SO's could see the humor.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Like the other day I was looking for a pair of my jeans (that weren't in the truck) and asked my wife where she hid them. ( we have moved into another house and I can't find anything) She looked around and couldn't find my jeans so grabbed a pair of hers and handed them to me telling me wear these no one will notice.
After i finished getting dressed I looked at her and said with a grin, see I still get into your pants. ;)

[Shawn_Always]

I love this conversation!!

Since revelation has been a bit slow here and as such the acceptance as well, there have been a few light hearted moments and comments that we have shared.

I was getting dressed for work one morning and as I pulled my pants on she noticed the pink panties I had on and asked, "aren't you worried someone will notice?" I said, "no, not really. I can't see why anyone would." "Things happen you know. What if you end up in an accident and have to go to the hospital?"

Without missing a beat I smiled at her and said, "I'm not worried, they're clean!

She smile and laughed and shook her head.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jamie,

I like the post and while I don't believe we are funny (in that weird kind of way) I agree that you have to have a certain amount of humour to deal with the day to day things that happen. A few weeks ago I was at the grocery store and mother with a daughter about 8 years old was in front of me. The little girl kept turning and looking at me then suddenly tugged on her mother's shirt and loudly proclaimed "Mommy I think that woman is a boy" (Ah the bold innocence of youth). The mother apologized but all I could do is laugh because it was so sweet and innocent.

Hugs

Isha

[Kris Avery]

Isha,
She may have somehow been able to tell...but I can't ... Wow. Great work.
BTW, Your posts are always so funny.

[Amanda M]

Yes - we do laugh about it. A lot. This post has been a breath of fresh air - thanks!

Oh, is it humor or humour? It's whatever Isha says it is!

[Kate T]

We tend to joke about it a lot, we always have pretty much. I mean lets face it, it is pretty funny. Honestly, our whole family tends to muck around with it a bit. Best one recently was from our eldest daughter. At 13 she is unfortunately just starting to get a few of the dreaded pimples and acne of all teenagers. The other day I told her to use our face cleanser to help keep her skin clean. The other night my wife and I noticed that her face was very red. The conversation went something like this:
ME + WIFE: Are you sunburnt?
13YROLD: No, why?
ME + WIFE: Have you been moisturising your face after you wash it?
13YROLD: Moisture what?
ME + WIFE: Moisturising. You need to put moisturiser on after you wash your face, especially with that cleanser.
13YROLD: Nobody told me that!
ME + WIFE: Go in to the bathroom, in the cupboard there is a bottle of green toner, put a little bit of that on first.
13YROLD: Ugh, all right (trudges into bathroom, then reemerges). There, goodnight!
ME + WIFE: That was just the toner, now you have to use the moisturiser.
13YROLD: WHAT! MORE!. You have got to be kidding me. (By this stage Wife and I are rolling around on the floor laughing). This is like HOURS of my life being wasted on some "beauty" routine. This is so the last time I am doing this. (Again trudges to bathroom and returns after applying moisturiser). You can't seriously say you enjoy this dad!

And off she went to bed with my wife and I still rolling around the floor laughing :)

I also really like a meme I saw the other day. It went something like "Why take life so seriously. It's not like you're going to get out of it alive!"

[bobbimo]

As far as this house goes, I'm the one in colorful outfits, short shorts and tight tops.
She's in Camo, and sweats. Looks kinda funny when we go walking.
In the winter I like to wear a bra under my sweatshirt, and she caught me a few times. So now she rubs my back to check and I rub hers.
All good fun and keeps the smiles coming.
Bobbi