And so it was done

[PretzelGirl]

This morning I went to court and in a flash I was one more major step down the road. I am now Susan Ann (still go by Sue) and I had my loving wife right beside me. Of course I quickly took care of Social Security and sent in for a passport as those precede everything else for me. At this point I am seriously grateful for the family support I have received as it has been truly wonderful. The last step is work.

[Leah Lynn]

I am so happy for you, Sue. I hope to take that step at the end of the year or the first thing next year.

Hugs,

Leah

[Angela Campbell]

well then........Nice to meet you Susan Ann!

[stefan37]

Congratulations, I know how good it feels to start life with your new name. Now be prepared for the hard work switching all your if over. A year later I still find things I need to change. Other stuff like home title and marriage I didn't bother with. So dealing with those items I get name Stephen aka Stephanie.

[Bria]

I'm happy that you are blessed with a supportive family in addition to the supportive family of this forum. Congrads for jumping over one of the many hurdles that you face, my prayers go with you!

Hugs, Bria

[Jorja]

:cheer::cheer::cheer:Yea, Susan Ann!:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:

[Di]

Congrats Sue a huge milestone and your wive by your side even better.:hugs:

[mechamoose]

You got legal recognition.. that is great!

Next steps, now that you are legally you?

<3

- MM

[PretzelGirl]

Really, it isn't much more than work Madame Moose. I do need to come out on Facebook for those that are friends that don't know. Most of the close ones know and the family does other than the more distant relatives. At the same time, I will tell work and tell them my first day. Because I haven't pulled the trigger on work, I haven't changed Facebook since the word would spread. All that will be a week into September. Surgery is probable, but I promised myself I would think about that after things settle down. I don't need to be using brain power on that when I am doing enough already. So I guess you can look at it as my transition (an ill defined thing) will be done with my first day at work. Normalizing life and any surgeries are post-transition efforts. Or transition goes on forever, take your pick. :)

[mechamoose]

Or transition goes on forever, take your pick. :)

Up to you, sweetie, nobody can second guess you on that. How and who you come out to is a tricky thing. What might be easy for me might be really hard for you. Being who you are at work is another issue entirely. I took it in steps, but I still get questions about why I paint my nails. (Earrings? It is a non-issue now) My odd (colorful) sock choices are written off as 'odd'. Nobody but another CD'er will spot that I'm wearing girl jeans.

I would *never* want transition to go on forever. You/we need more peace than that.

You have to live in your skin hon. Nobody can make those choices for you. You know what is 'safe' and what isn't. You know what is 'you' and what isn't.

Namaste!

- MM

[Peggie Lee]

Congrats
I to went to court this morning and the judge signed my name change, as Margaret Lee but I use the nickname Peggie Lee.
The courts here make you wait a week before you can get copies to start changing your ID's.

Peggie

[arbon]

Congratulations Sue! Awesome :):)

[PretzelGirl]

I would *never* want transition to go on forever. You/we need more peace than that.

Oh I will have my peace shortly. I was just referring to the fact that you really can't pick any one event to call the end of transition. Some refer to the social transition and that it goes on forever.

Stephanie, probably like everyone else, I have created a laundry list of things to change. And I bet I will have at least a hundred things I miss. The electronic age....

Di and Bria. I would hate to think what this would be like without family by my side. My in laws have been equally fantastic as my birth family. I don't know what I did to earn it, but I sure love it.

Congrats Peggie! I am sorry you have to wait a week. The clerk in the courtroom scanned it in on the spot while the judge and I finished talking. Then I went downstairs and paid for certified copies.

Interesting notes on where we are in this area. The judge first asked if I wanted to be referred as Ms or Mr. Then he went over the options of legal order of name change and I could have gender change. It has debatable value and he even said that. Went to Social Security and the guy helping me had never done a gender change before. But he studied something on the computer (help files?), pleasantly helped me out, and had it double checked to be sure. 20 minutes. Then at the passport office, the guy jumped right in and knew what he was looking for. I mentioned that I am surprised he had seen a lot. He said he did this once a couple of years ago.

[mechamoose]

But he studied something on the computer (help files?), pleasantly helped me out, and had it double checked to be sure. 20 minutes. Then at the passport office, the guy jumped right in and knew what he was looking for. I mentioned that I am surprised he had seen a lot. He said he did this once a couple of years ago.

...and now he has experience so the next of us he helps will go smoother.

We are only strange when we are unusual. If/when we are 'routine', we have won. Odd, but true.. it is a fight to be 'normal'.

<3

- MM

[Sandra]

Congratulations Sue :D

[becky77]

Hiya Susan Ann.

You changed your name but work doesn't know, how does that work?

[Rianna Humble]

I bet that felt extra special having your wife standing by you for the name change.

So how are your plans for work progressing?

[kimdl93]

Congratulations on completing this next to last step, Sue!

[PretzelGirl]

So notifying work is a couple of weeks away. If they are going to flog me for not telling them immediately, then so be it. But I don't see anything that forces my hand to go running in right away. When I tell them my full time date, I will also notify them of the name change so they can process it. I couldn't find anyone who saw an issue with this, so I went with the timing of applying for a passport and new Social Security Card so I can start turning over all of my information when I inform work.


My wife was out running around with her best friend last night and I ended up in bed before she got home. When I woke up, I found out why she was running around.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=230255&stc=1http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=230256&stc=1

[mechamoose]

Give that woman a kiss & hug!! That kind of support... no *thoughtfulness* is rare.

You have a gem there, hon. Support her as much as she supports you!

- MM

[Leanne2]

I am so happy for you Sue! And what a lucky girl you are to still have a spouse. So many of us are forced to be divorced from the one that we still love. Have a great day, Leanne

[Annaliese]

So happy for you Sue

[Stephania]

Congrats Sue. I'm really happy for you.

Stephania

[stefan37]

Regarding your passport application. Ensure the letter from your doctor states exactly what they include in the sample letter. Have your doctor wire the letter that you have completed your transition and they continue to supervise and manage your care. Have them include their DEA number. State license number and the state that licensed them. Also have the doctor use a pressure seal on their signature if you state uses them. This will ensure your application is processed promptly without delay. I just received my passport which pretty much completes all my major id's and it was kicked back because the doctor didn't include the state that licensed him and they didn't believe the letter was original because it was signed in black ink. I had him sign it in blue ink and our state issues pressure seals for professional licenses so I had him use it. If you would like a copy of the letter I sent to the State Dept pm me and I will email you a copy.

[PretzelGirl]

Madame Moose, she is pretty special and I have been enjoying it for almost 25 years and hopefully giving plenty in return. More from coincidence than plan, my first day at work is the day after our 25th anniversary. It hit that mainly because I wanted to start after HR had a work day or two without me around to change anything they wanted to (email, company directory) and secondly because it will then be a two day work week which may help from the perspective of getting the stress over with and then taking a deep breath instead of having the longer week to get through.

Stephanie, I did compare the letter to the instructions for passports and social security on-line and it was verbatim. It didn't have a pressure seal and I didn't know doctors got those. My provider services probably >80% of us in Utah, so she is used to this and I hope that means the letter will go right through. Since I turned the passport application in yesterday, I can only roll with it now and know the possible gaps if it gets kicked back. The letter was on colored stationary, so like your blue ink, I hope that helps.

[Suzanne F]

Congratulations Sue!

[PaulaQ]

Congratulations Sue. This is a milestone I have not yet reached, but I certainly look forward to it. I'm really happy for you, hon! :D

[Nigella]

Another tick in the long list of things to do. Congratulations :hugs:

[jules]

I would also love to say congratulations and I hope there will be many years of happiness to follow. :)

Hugs
Julie

[Bria]

What lovely little gift from your wife, your story brought a tear to my eye!!

Hugs, Bria

[Michelle_CD]

Congrats Sue!

[PretzelGirl]

Wow! I applied for my passport a week ago Friday and got it today. For anyone looking to do it soon, I paid for expedite, but not for faster postage. That was faster than I could have planned for. I now understand some other's feelings. I got the gender letter from the doctor and I was very happy. I got the court order for name change and kicked up my heels in the parking lot. I got the passport with picture, name, and gender in one spot, and I cried. Now for the never ending task of changing my name everywhere.

[LeaP]

I got to use a service company for my last passport update. I had to travel on short notice and my passport was expiring. So the company paid to get it done next day. They contacted the company, I filled out the renewal, got a fresh picture, they picked up the package, and delivered the passport the following day. Amazing. And about $500, if I recall. I don't think I'll be so lucky the next time around.

[phylis anne]

Hello Sue,
congradulations on your now being official being a newbie here I am very green with envy for good luck and enjoy your new self
phylis

[LeaP]

Congratulations, Sue (can't believe I forgot to include that!)!!!

One thing I didn't understand - you mentioned gender change having limited value when describing the courtroom scene. Limited value?

[PretzelGirl]

Thank you Lea! Well, I haven't done a deep research into it. But as I went through all the documentation requirements, I couldn't find one thing that would take a legal declaration as being a valid way to change gender. My birth certificate requires surgery and that is Massachusetts, at least what I find on-line. I do want to follow-up with a phone call to make sure it is current. I can use a doctor's letter to change gender on the Social Security rolls and on the Passport. The Passport can be used as the validating document for everything else that I have found to this point.

So not doing the gender in court could turn out to be a mistake as I go along, I admit. We will have to see. I went through multiple sites - TSRoadMap, Transgender Education Associates (a Utah Advocacy Group), and all the specific sites to read each requirement and made my plan. When I went in court, I didn't know I could do it and after he explained it, but said I would have to go away and come back, I wasn't having any of that. But something could pop up and I could regret it. So for anyone else in Utah, I will recommend they do it while doing the name change. I later talked with a friend of mine who is a law school grad working on her bar and also is transitioned. She said you actually have to edit the name change form, so you can't find the instructions on the court's web site. She might write a how-to and I will save that off for others. I am not too surprised that the court does not have instructions on-line. It is probably kind of rare in their eyes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sue, :battingeyelashes:Congratulations , You are really living the dream now.:daydreaming:

[LeaP]

Superb explanation, Sue, thank you.