Don't keep it secret! (Sorry it's a bit of a rant)

[cdkateinboston]

So please amazing ladies of this forum please preface this post in two arena's before I make my post: 1) our interaction and experience with dressing is so different for us all and by posting this, please know I understand whole heartedly, a fact which becoming older and being apart of this thread has helped me realize, and 2) we all entertain dressing to various degrees so I in no way mean to offer my thoughts to all of us great ladies who dress. But what I will say is that over the last year (in the last of my 20's and now I am holding on to them strong as I can!!) I've discovered that as I've increased who among my friends both male and female I have told, the reaction has been mixed, but nothing like I predicted before I opened up. The majority of those I told varied from either "eh whatever" to "it's great your that way, feel free to chat anytime!". The one girl I was seeing I chose to tell was also amazingly accepting (while we are no longer together it had nothing to do with my dressing). So I guess what I wanted to share is this, and it is welcome, fellow girls to share support or knock me for saying this: it seems too hard to just share, and to me with my experiences it still is, but there is an accepting world out there, and my favorite happen to be my male friends that respond like "oh, you do, ok, still gonna take you down in next weeks game". Sorry I don't recognize annotation of paragraphs here lol, but ladies, I did it, I love that I did it and still telling friends, and it wouldn't have been possible without the great support of those on this forum :) smile!!

[LelaK]

Can you rephrase your question/s? I'm glad you feel accepted.

[Marcelle]

Hey Kate,

I agree in principle . . . when you are ready and if letting others know will complete your own acceptance then telling whoever is a good thing. I for one have told lots of people (family, friends, work colleagues) about Isha with mixed but for the most part good reviews. Indeed many (including my male friends) have met Isha and socialize with her and with boy me. However, that is me and I felt a desire to do so. Not everyone has that desire or acceptance to do so. It really comes down to personal choice and how private a person you are IMHO.

However, glad to hear you are happy and in the end that is all that really counts. :)

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

Glad you're finding that coming out is working well for you! And dreadfully envious that you're getting this out of the way while you're still in your twenties!

[CynthiaD]

I agree. The "deep dark secret" thing never did work for me. All it did is drive me crazy. Much better just to be yourself.

[mariehart]

I think you're lucky to be in your twenties in a world that is more accepting than it was when I was in my twenties. That's what kept a lot of us in the closet so long.

But I do agree people are often more accepting of it than we give them credit for. I found that out when I finally came out to some friends.

But it's all about context. There are other people to consider in my life and what effect it might have on them.

So I have to be careful.

[Suzanne F]

I am out to almost everyone but work. I agree with Isha that it varies with each person. Also, in my case I am going to be living as a woman at least part of the time and there would be no keeping it secret. I applaud your courage. I hope that I am carving out some space for all of us to be free. The more we can educate others that we are actually good people,just a bit more colorful, the better.
Suzanne

[StaceyJane]

I am out to my family. I can't say it was easy at first but now I have acceptance and freedom and that's great.

[Kimkandy]

Wish I was still 30... I think it will vary telling family and friends. My family is two brothers who kind of know but we choose not to talk about it. None of my friends know, even friends who I know cross-dress. I think telling everyone will work for some people while telling no one works for others.

[Charlotte Williams]

I have one who knows, and I'm hiding in the closet to everyone else. Some days I'd like to tell everyone, but I always reflect on why. If it won't benefit more than hinder a relationship and the other person doesn't need to know, then I figure I don't need to tell them. If I was asked if I cross dress, I wouldn't lie, but I don't think I'm going to take out a billboard add anytime soon.

[Roxie]

couldn't agree with you more , I've had good results telling people

[Cara Lacey]

I guess it depends on who you are coming out to. Most of the people that I knew in my past did not understand and no longer speak to me. This includes all of my brothers.

[Nadya]

Glad you had such a positive experience. I feel my hurdles to overcome to coming out is due to my own fear more than I think I'd get a negative response. My own values and social structure leaves me with a lot of shame. I know in my mind that several of my friends wouldn't care (at least that's what I think) but my own shame keeps me from telling them.