Feeling like an oddity

[Michelle Deere]

I don’t post much, but I do do a lot of reading. And it was while I was reading a thread about “Crossdressing at what cost” that I started to feel that I was a bit of an oddity.
Now, I do recognize that there is a vast variation, a vast range or many degrees of crossdressing that spans the CD spectrum, but I started to get this feeling, reading that thread, that I’m a bit of an oddity.
I the last number of years (oh about 16-17 I’d say) my opportunity to dress has become more and more restricted, what with kids coming along, military service and more recently as an overseas contractor in a “war“ zone. When I’m home, there are just so many wonderful things to do with the family, leaving little time for "hobby" interests. My dressing activities in the last six years where; Jan ‘08, Mar ’10, Apr, Nov ’11, Feb, Dec ’12, Jan, Apr, Dec ‘13 and most recently Feb ’14. Sometimes lasting only a few hours, sometimes a couple of days. During the same time I've only purchased; boots in ’10, 4 pair pantyhose in ’12 and nail polish last year. Any clothes I have that are my own and not the few pieces borrowed from my wife (or daughter), I acquired sometime well before ’05.
I only have two pair of heals, one black, one white, one pair of boots and one pair each of Keds and runners. I guess I could be called frugal, but I have never been one to buy things for myself, even guy stuff (someone else has footed the bill for dressing guy me for many years, thanks DND and current employer).
Now, (tough in cheek) am I doing this CD thing all wrong? Shouldn't I be spending copious quantities of hard earned cash on this hobby? Or, maybe not? But I do think I need to replace my slightly dog chewed black pumps one of these days.
I just never read anything about those of you who may be more like me, feel guilty about buying women's clothes…or just cheep! Haha :heehee:

Michelle

[Michelle (Oz)]

Michelle, at your stage in life with children and busy position I didn't dress at all. I can trace periodic episodes of interest but never a realisation.

Now in my 60's circumstances are different. I'm out dressed perhaps 4 times a week so a femme wardrobe is important but I still don't like spending much money on femme me. When I do, I buy well.

No one is a better or worse crossdresser simply by how often or how much we spend, or for any other reason. We do what we do as permitted by circumstances. Circumstances change and we adjust our priorities and interests. Enjoy your busy life ... sadly, the children era will be over all too soon.

[Anna H]

I didn't have much of anything until about a year ago. And
even then, it wasn't until 4-5 months ago that i really started
buying things for myself.

What i did have along the way often got ruined from being
in storage for years while i worked a job and had no time
at all for anything I personally liked....so it stayed
only a small amount for a long time.

It really took off when I found if i watched ebay fairly
carefully, I could get all sorts of stuff for really
cheap. Not trash or junk, but high quality nice things...
shoes, dresses, jeans, shorts...practically everything.

(and depending on what kind of person I bought it from, i
often sent them a little extra $$....feeling almost guilty
for getting such nice stuff for so cheap...lol)

What's different now is that i have a place to store my
things without fear, so I get what i like. But...i do have
Too much now....so I've slowed wayyy down.

I don't consider myself especially frugal or cheap, but
i couldn't bring myself to buy things like $200 shoes.
I stay indoors, so i don't need things like that.

Maybe one day when you get more time to yourself, you
may begin doing a few things for yourself. It's only been
fairly recently that i could justify spending any $$ on
myself. And it's very good because when I can feel good
about myself, it does make me a much more pleasant and
happier person...which is Very Good for anyone around me! lol!

I wish you the Very Best of luck!
:)
Kate ♥

[Wildaboutheels]

I am required to wear a uniform to work. For the last thirty years. Other than that I COULD "dress" 24/7 if I desired.

BUT ... I am only a CDing Hobbyist. I never go out "dressed" less than once a week and often twice a week to at least 3 or 4 stores of the 10 or 12 stores I frequent on a regular basis. I am lucky in that I have SEVEN stores within a 5 minute walk from my house that sell heels I can wear. Most of my clothes come from my fave Thrift store. HUGE selection of stuff. Less than one half mile from my house as the crow flies. Most all of my clothes come from there as well as a pair of heels now and then. And I ONLY shop there on half price days so I average paying 1>3 bucks for items. Ladies shorts and jeans and men's Hawiian shirts. I don't suffer from NEEDING all the other stuff that most here utilize. I obviously DO have easy access to "stuff".

I am sure I rarely spend over 200 bucks a year unless I just happened to buy more than 3 or 4 pairs of heels which I will rarely spend more than 25 bucks a pair for. Many now come from Plato's Closet at around 10 bucks a pop.

This ^^^ works for ME.

Which is all that matters.

Feel better now I hope?

On the other hand, most that water here would likely think it cRaZy that I easily spend more than that a year on mag subscriptions to help keep up with all my other "hobbies".

[Jenniferathome]

Perhaps it is a 'hobby" for you. Meaning that the pull is very weak. For me, it is not a "hobby" but rather a "part" of me. The pull is strong enough that once in a blue moon dressing is not realistic. That stated, family comes first, always. Jennifer is on the back burner until all family and friend obligations/issues are resolved. So, you are doing what works for you. Which is fine.

[chelyann]

Michelle
you are not an oddity
you just have your priority's set right for your situation ,and in time you will be rewarded for this with more (Michelle) time.

your frugal spending is fine , i spend very little on my wardrobe also.
just enjoy your Michelle time when you can :)

[Renee Elise]

Perhaps it is a 'hobby" for you. Meaning that the pull is very weak. For me, it is not a "hobby" but rather a "part" of me. The pull is strong enough that once in a blue moon dressing is not realistic. That stated, family comes first, always. Jennifer is on the back burner until all family and friend obligations/issues are resolved. So, you are doing what works for you. Which is fine.
Agree 100%, same for me too. We're all unique and there isn't necessarily a one size fits all approach that works for everyone

[mariehart]

Far from being odd. I suspect you may be in the majority. The occasional and partial crossdresser who keeps it well hidden.

[Clodagh]

I have found that while many people have experiences similar to mine, nobody has an identical experience. The whole topic is full of grey areas. There are no easily defined categories. Perhaps we are all somewhere on a spectrum, but even that is misleading as there is no single identifiable characteristic of a crossdresser that can be used for comparison.

Don't fret, we are all oddities, otherwise we wouldn't be here :thinking:

[bridget thronton]

There no rules - folks dress how they want and when they want (each person is unique and save person has her own constraints on dressing)

[Kris Avery]

Yeah, just like the Outback Steakhouse commercials -- "no rules - just right".:heehee:

[Ashley Wray]

Hello Michelle,

I'm with you I have to take care of my other priorities before I spend on Ashley. Once things are in order I and I have extra $$ then I will look at what I need the most and then still shop to make the most of what I have to spend. Everyone's situation is different a year ago I would have spent a lot more money on Ashley but the priorities have changed even though I love dressing and would love to have a lot more outfits and accessories. It's all about a slow accumulation for me when I have the money to spare I pick up items here and there and soon enough they add up and I slowly grow my wardrobe. I don't think your odd I think your sensible and realistic based on your situation!

[susannma]

Michelle, you are fine.
I think we are many like you, who only dress once or twice each year. I have myself gone for several years not dressing. Today I could dress everyday if I wanted, but still only dress a few times each year. Dont see anything wrong in that, also if you are in the closet like I am, having lots of women's clothes can be stress factor, thinking about if anyone will find my hidden clothes.

[Barbara Ella]

No one here is an oddity. We are all here for the same thing. Of course there are different levels of involvement or commitment or contentment, that is what makes this forum the spicy delectable treat it is to come to each day. Being retired with a now totally supportive wife does make it easier to dress whenever there are no outside commitments or we are out of town. She spends more on me than i do.

Life changes, and so do we. Just go with the flow and enjoy the moments without question.

Barbara

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Michelle, I read your thread and fully comprehend its contents. If I may offer this hope: I hope that one day that time, career & family circumstances permit Michelle to come out more often. . I remember your earlier photo shoot where you & your male side sat besides each other on a couch. I really thought the idea was novel!!! Whatever you do , my wish is that you are at peace as Michelle.

[Sarah Doepner]

As long as you're happy, we're happy. It seems that you have a good handle on the things that matter most. I went several years where I rarely crossdressed and really didn't have much in the way of clothing, but was happy dealing with family, job, friends and other obligations. Now that many of those have either changed or gone away I have more time to devote to this side of me. In 10 or 15 years you may have a different set of circumstances and will be dressing daily or not at all. The only time to worry about it is when either the dressing or not being able to dress how you want results in dissatisfaction or creates conflict in your life.

[JessicaJHall]

Do what ever moves you! I spend as little as possible on everything from washers to floors to cars to my CD wardrobe. Accessories are my new obsession, and deal shopping is what I do.
I just can't justify big ticket items.
Like you and many here, I've taken decades off for real life pursuits, most recently to help raise some step kids. And I saved nothing from my old stuff.
One small rant: two years ago, they (the kids) left home, my SO (DADT) relapsed into her addiction, (she's better now) and I suddenly felt inspired to do some CDing (once a week maybe) and was content. A year later they both moved back! Julie interrupted! I still find some Julie time now and then, but I never know when they are leaving or coming back, as neither of them wants to get a job. So it's a little nerve wracking to say the least. [/pity party]
Other than that, I have scored some amazing clothes at ridiculous prices on the clearance racks at Ross, H&M, Kohl's.. you name it.
The other day I wandered into H&M and they were having a clearance sale like I've never seen, half off clearance. I got two tops two skirts and a cute dress (little too small.. dangit!) for $26!!! I'm not bragging I'm just still in shock!!
Anyhooo, you look gorgeous in your profile pic and you shouldn't worry about a thing. In my short stint here, what I'm learning is one major thing we have in common is we are all very unique.
But if you really want something, I say treat yourself! You deserve it girl!

[Bria]

Michelle, since I don't wear girl clothes every day, I don't feel that I need to buy expensive , high quality, long wearing clothes like I do for boy me. I shop Wal Mart and Ebay. I got a very nice LBD at Wal Mart for $10 and a nice red dress on Ebay for the same. $5 bras fill my needs. So that how I do it!!

Hugs, Bria

[marsha leanne]

michelle , your time will come. hold off untill you get home safely. take the time to get to know michelle, then when the time is right, you will know what to buy. I have not bought anything the last couple of years at all. I had kids move in, move out , move in again. now the're gone. the wife and i got rid of the beds, and turned both bedrooms into offices.

most of marsha's clothes are a bit (!!!) on the snug side so my choice is to try and lose the weight. then i will end up with a whole new closet of stuff i can't wear right now.

[Christen]

Frugal? Five pairs of shoes? Frugal? I have one pair, one. Michelle, I'm very careful about how much is spent and how many clothes I have. I have a space issue, so that keeps things in check, which I think is probably a good thing. I've been through the same thing about time to 'play', other issues are far more important and deserving of our full attention. But things will change, I'm dressing more now than I ever have, at 57. I'm pretty much retired, only work a couple of days a week, and the kids are adults now, so there's just more opportunity. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
And Cheap?? You've no idea, I'm still over the moon with a scarf I got for free with a magazine. Now that's cheap :)

Christen x

[Michelle789]

Hi Michelle,

No you're not an oddity. Everyone is different. Some of us are sporadic CDers. Some of us CD all the time. CDing us progressive, and the pull to CD will increase as you get older. Even from looking at your dates, it seems like the amount of CDing you do increases each year. Maybe we'll see the Aug, Sep, Oct 2014 episode soon.

Some people go 10 or 20 years without CDing before they start up again. Whereever you fall on the CD spectrum is okay. You are always welcome on this forum, and I look forward to seeing more posts :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle, We are at the opposite ends of the spectrum I imagine that my collection must be in the five figure range over the years
I may be one of the lucky ones or one of the un lucky ones.

[suchacutie]

Michelle, I was so busy with rest of life until I was in my 50's I didn't even take time to consider I was transgendered! I think you are perfectly normal and responsible. You are just keeping it alive until it has a chance to flourish.

[EllenJo]

Michelle, each one of us has their own style, desires and comfort zone when it comes to how much we are willing to spend on our femme clothes. I find clearance racks, ebay and resale shops, just perfect to fill my crossdressing needs. I don't feel guilty for buying women's clothes, I just don't care to spend too much to do it. Maybe when I am retired and want to go out more I will spend more. I guess I am like you when it comes to how much I am willing to spend and there are probably more girls here like us that you may imagine.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Michelle Deere]

Wow! Thank you everybody for your comments, kind words and words of encouragement.
I would have normally written something on my blog, but this time I thought I would try here and I very much appreciate your responses.
Reflecting on the OP, I suppose if people wrote about what they didn't do or wouldn't be doing or what they didn't buy, that would make for some pretty dull reading..lol. So it only makes sense that those of us, who are less outgoing, aren't as visible. But it is evident we are indeed here, just not as vocal.
Michelle

[Tracii G]

You are normal so don't worry.
You don't have to buy lots of stuff to enjoy CDing.Thrift stores and sales is how I do it on the cheap.