first time in public not to good

[carrie2014]

The first time out in public i went to an outlet with about 50 different stores. It took an hour just to get my makeup on the best i could. put on a brown skirt and tan blouse and black flat shoes, the skirt was just the right size but it had a tie type of belt and it looked bad under my blouse, so off came the belt now i looked the best i could look even if i looked in the mirror and see a man 60 years old in womens clothes. Drove to the outlet and parked at one end of the parking lot. got out and started walking down the sidewalk looking in the store windows. Not to many people around to walk past. Every time i went past a person i felt they could see something wrong. I got the feeling that it was all in my mind. After i past a couple of people. I was heading back to my car and not feeling to bad about being out in public. When i was just about at my car it happened! ( don't wear a skirt with out a belt if it has loops for a belt no matter how well it fits or how bad it looks) I fixed the problem fast and got back to my car and out of that outlet and now back in the closet until i can feel better about about going out in public again. Not the best first time out in public! I just want to feel good being dressed in clothing that i like and look good in. Is that asking to much?

[Ressie]

OH my did your skirt slip off a bit? Maybe you need more practice dressing at home? Most of us do.

[Teresa]

Carrie,
Maybe the shopping centre wasn't the easiest first trip ! Perhaps find a quiet park and spend some time there walking round and getting use to how it all feels !
It's a strange feeling as soon as you step outside into fresh air all you senses go into overdrive ! Your makeup smells and tastes stronger, clothes and shoes that fit OK at home suddenly feel different !
You know you looked OK, nerves just put you on edge too much, each time it gets better but don,t be too adventurous for a while !

[Claire Cook]

Wow, I agree with Teresa that going to a big mall the first time is a big chunk to chew! Yes, I'm sure that a lot of the criticism that you feel is self-generated. Look at the positive side -- you did it, the world did not end and you made it home without incident! (other than the skirt?) I think the comfort and confidence come with experience. Yes, less adventurous venues may be the way to go until you build that confidence up. If you are like the rest of us, that first time was loaded with anxiety and angst and nerves -- but you did it!

There is a lot to learn in this game -- much as I have been out, I still learn something on every trip.

[Leslie Langford]

Those first-time jitters are perfectly understandable, carrie, and we've all gone through it at one time or another. Consider it a rite of passage on the journey to being an out-and-about crossdresser. But trust me on this - it gets easier and easier every time.

People who do sky-diving for a hobby will tell you the same thing - the first time is absolutely terrifying, but once they get used to it, they can't wait to get back and do it again and again, so strong is the resultant adrenalin rush. Once you get over the initial hump and become comfortable with going out in public en femme, you will actually start to wonder what took you so long.

Now that you've had some time to reflect calmly on your first experience out in public, surely you realize that it wasn't all that bad in the end, and that all those fears weren't just in your mind, they were also groundless. No one noticed that imaginary neon sign over your head flashing "Crossdresser! Crossdresser!", no one giggled or pointed their fingers at you, and most certainly, no hordes of irate villagers brandishing flaming torches and pitchforks chased you out of the mall.

All in all - except for that minor skirt incident - I'd say that from your description, it was a WIN overall. No reason not to get back into the saddle at your earliest opportunity now and let carrie blossom...

[Nikki A.]

Like the others said, you went out, the world didn't end and that's all good. I have an outlet center near my house. I also went out dressed, even changed my outfit while out to a blouse that I bought at Dress Barn (never did care for the name lol). There was one couple ahead of me and the husband kept looking back at me. Just gave him a big smile and a nod of the head and he went on his way.

[CynthiaD]

First, there are lots of really nice looking belts on eBay that will enhance the look of your outfit. It's pretty hard to feel confident when your skirt is down around your ankles. (I feel so sorry for you! That must have been really embarrassing!)

Second, I don't think everyone was sensing something wrong. That was just jitters. Walk around like you own the place, and everything will be fine. Next time do a little shopping and get yourself something nice. Or get something nice for someone you care about. That's even more fun.

[jules]

Hi Carrie. :)
Don't worry about it.
You can still go out but in the country if you can. Go for a nice drive park and have your coffee, water or whatever and enjoy the moment. Take small steps.
And wear the belt :) we have no hips.
That is why all our jeans and fall down and you can see our underwear.
And it's normal to think everyone is looking (like everyone else said) at you. You will get used to it and if they are so what.
There is nothing you can do about it.

Hugs
Julie summers.

[Bria]

Carrie, I have been out to an informal group that meets at Hamburger Mary's many times and I am very comfortable once I get inside, walking in, not so much. I've never gone to a mall yet, so I think that you jumped in at the deep end. Try to find a place to go where there are other girls and build your confidence there first.

Good luck on your second try!!

Hugs, Bria

[KimberlyJean]

Carrie, my first outing didn't go very well either. I actually had people gaping and laughing. I told myself I would never leave the house again. But, I worked on dressing for my body type and have since been out a number of times without incident. I prefer shopping dressed. The urge will come again and you will do better!

[AllieSF]

Don't worry Carrie it happens to all of us eventually. I was out with a friend of mine at a very nice downtown restaurant. I got up to go to the restroom and my skirt decided to stay stuck to the chair. Fortunately, everything, including pulling it back up, happened very quickly. So, off I eventually went to finish my task in the Ladies' room without the need to freshen up the blush on my cheeks. Maybe that outfit would work with the blouse tucked into the skirt leaving the cute tie belt visible for everyone to enjoy, and leaving the belt to do its intended job of keeping the skirt snug on your hips.

Congratulations on a very successful first time out with a minor hiccup at the end.

[Helen_Highwater]

Carrie,
If it was that, reading between the lines, your skirt slipped, trust me it's happens to many of us. I had a skirt with an elasticated waist go south on me. I only realized when I tripped up on the hem. That's when I figured why I'd got some odd looks!

[Diversity]

Hi Carrie,
On a positive note, you did it! Nothing major happened, and no one got hurt. Have a laugh to yourself, and smile about the fact you now have passed the hardest step of them all - your first step. Congratulations to you, I say!
Di

[carrie2014]

thank you all for comments, information and ideas to help me ajust to being in public. Having help with our problems make us a would wide family! Carrie

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Carrie, There will be others , But you will always remember your first time out.:daydreaming:

[charlenesomeone]

Carrie good on you getting out. Clothes are tricky, some of my fem clothes are
very loose now,but hey, time to go shopping. Hugs.

[Marcelle]

Hi Carrie,

Sweetie when I first read the title I was expecting torches, mobs and stories of being chased around the mall. Wardrobe failures happen all the time (not in the Janet Jackson sense that is) and it is something we all have dealt with at one time or another. The important thing is you got out there and walked in the daylight and with the exception of skirt mishap, not issues. You may have felt looks and indeed there may have been some but for the most part nothing really happened which hasn't happened to all of us. The key thing to remember is that you need a bit of a thick skin to walk among the Vanilla world and if you can handle the odd stare, giggle and guffaw, you will do fine. So take a deep breath, grab a belt and when you are ready face the world again.

Hugs

Isha

[bridget thronton]

Each outing gets better - well done completing your first

[Eringirl]

Hi Carrie: I, like Isha, was expecting a lynch mob chasing you given the subject line! Very happy it was only a minor wardrobe issue. It sounds to me like it was a success and a very valuable lesson learned. Kudos to you for taking such a bold, big step for your first outing! For the first few times I was out, I wore slacks, either jeans or dress pants to ease my way into it. Worked on mannerisms and how to "walk" without having to worry about tripping over my own skirt! Got the basics down and added one new thing at a time (i.e. wearing dress or skirt, heels etc). That is how I do it, but that is just what works for me. Hoping you are able to get out again soon. It is a great feeling, isn't it ??!!

Erin

[JusRosCD49]

Congratulations for having the courage to actually GO somewhere. I remember My first few outings. I recall the sweaty palms and nervousness I felt. Be yourself and feel confident that you are a beautiful person and you will be fine.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Carrie!:)
I had to smile when I read your post.
It reminded me of a time that I was leaving a restaurant and my skirt started to go south!:eek:
It didn't even have a place for a belt.
I may be large, but I have very quick reflexes.:thumbsup:
I just grabbed the skirt and continued my way to the door.
Don't let it get the best of you. It can happen to anyone, including GGs.:heehee:

[~Joanne~]

I agree with the rest of the girls, going to a mall on your first outing really is "jumping into the deep end". Ultimately though maybe your a better swimmer than the rest of us ;) Other than a skirt mishap, it sounded like you had a successful trip. The "everyone can tell" feeling may have been mostly in your head but then again, you never know.

Next outing, and believe me, there will be a next outing because once you go out the "need" to do so will come again, try going to a metro park, slightly off season, where you don't have to pay to go in and can have much out time as you want without the hassle. My SO and I have done this and I enjoyed every minute of it.

[Alexis Jade (AJ)]

The first time is always scary. I'm 26 now and only been out a handful of times and by the third time I got comfortable around some people. The first time was a past midnight grocery trip when I was 19 and I almost cried because I was made and the people followed me around and pointed me out to everyone.

Once I told two of my gg friends about my dressing, the one encouraged me to go to some gay club in town with her. The first time I was way overdressed, and the second was perfect and I was just me.

My next big test is going in daylight in Maryland when I visit the first friend I told. She's encouraging me to bring nothing but girl clothes and I'm really nervous!

Anyway back to the op here...it does get better.

[MsVal]

Congratulations on taking that big first step. It sounds like it was a memorable trip that can be made even better the next time. Please keep us posted on your progress as you get comfortable with your femininity.

Best wishes
MsVal

[NicoleScott]

Wardrobe malfunction. Fix it and try again.

[kimdl93]

Nothing wrong with jumping in the deep end. Everyone feels self conscious their first few (dozen) times out. Next time you'll be just a bit more at ease.

[bobbimo]

good on ya Carrie!
You have broken the ice, and survived.
The rest will be easier, just dont get to sure of your self. always check and recheck those tiny details
Bobbi

[Krisi]

Reading between the lines, are you saying your skirt fell down?

One of the reasons females can wear skirts without a belt is they have hips. Bigger than what you have. If you want to go out in public and have people believe you are a female (and not have your skirt fall off), consider padded panties or seperate hip pads.

Aside from that, I hope you had a good time and get to do it again soon.

[Rhonda Jean]

Along with developing your makeup skills and wardrobe, you have to develop a sense of humor about these things. This being your first, it might take a while before you can laugh about it. The more experience you have, the more this kind of thing will happen, and the quicker you'll get over it. I've been doing this for a long time. If it happened to me, I would have been laughing about it before I got the car door open!

[char GG]

Don't worry about it. One day I was sitting in Jimmy Johns, there was a lady ordering food and as she stood there, her slip totally fell down around her ankles. She very quickly scooped it up off of the floor and draped it over her arm. Wardrobe malfunctions happen to everyone at one time or another.

[Tracii G]

Malfunctions with clothes happens a lot and I'll bet nobody if any saw what happened.Fix it and go on like nothing happened.

[MsVal]

Our first camping trip was a total disaster. We did NOTHING right. We did, however realize that those were correctable errors that we would not repeat the next time.

Two tents, two folding campers later, and now on our second trailer, I can't even remember what those initial errors were. (written while sitting in a campground)

Best wishes
MsVal