Why It's SO HARD To Purge...

[KateSpade83]

In the past 20 years, I think I purged about 3 to 4 times. I remember the hard to get unique stuff I gave away and wish I got back. Two dresses I actually purged in the 90's - I got the same styles back as treasured thrift store finds for vintage thrift store clothes shopping in 2005+.

But ever since accumulating a lot of stuff since 2005 - I now find it extremely hard to purge everything if I had to quit for God's sake. My past paranoid episodes tell me to purge or else a curse would be upon me, and then those curses do or do not happen. But now I have accumulated many treasured hard to get cheerleader, schoolgirl skirts, goth outfits, unique lingerie and bodyshapers, and treasured dresses and skirt suits... It's too hard and extremely heart breaking to purge these for nothing - so if I had to purge them, I would resell them on ebay.

But I can't bear to part with these clothes. I ask God to bless me with a pretty wife my size so I can dress her up in my clothes, and then that would make me happy and maybe I could quit crossdressing or just crossdress less.

Well, that's my rant why it's so hard for me to purge... What's your rant?

[bridget thronton]

Sometimes I think buying clothes is more like collecting clothes (hard to give up the collection)

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I can tell you why I've never purged... I don't like throwing money away. :)

[Alice Torn]

Kate, I just sold my only gown on Ebay. it was so beautiful, but i need money, and have three dresses on sale now, on Ebay. So far no bids. I urge you to go ahead, and start selling a few on Ebay. Not a total loss then.

[ArleneRaquel]

IMO purging is of the Devil, because after the purge there us so much heartache.

[Laura28]

I have never purged unless you call throwing stuff out that doesn't anymore. But I still have my first bra a 32a now I were a 38DD or 38C. I love forms. I should get rid of the old bra but sentimental. Wife just laughs because I am always saying to her get rid of it you haven't worn it in a year. Lol

[Jorja]

It is because you are wanting to purge all the best things. Try purging your male underwear and see just how easy it is.

[Anna H]

Well, thinning out isn't purging...so it makes sense to
let go of a few things that aren't going to get any use....:)

But even then, I sometimes add stuff just because it's so pretty
and nice or unique. I don't have to actually wear it to get
happiness from it. I just love being surrounded by pretty things. ♥

I've got lots of colors of nail polish that didn't work out like
I thought, but the collection of pretty little bottles makes me happy!

I've lost several things I wish I hadn't, but I never intentionally
purged them. Storage ruined some Great things...:(

Oh well, I'll just replace them...lol!

[tommi]

I haven't purged since buying my forms
That's been almost 10 years now but I have gone some long periods without
Opening the closet

[Alice Torn]

I can imagine it would be hard to purge something like breast forms. I cannot relate, as I only use water balloons, and changing them is no problem.

[Amanda L.]

I have had thoughts of purging on occasion but know what a futile action it is. I don't even like throwing out laddered stockings so how could I throw out much loved clothes?
Not withstanding the waste of money and the inevitable buy it all back process what about the regret of chucking out that perfect fitting dress or bra.
I'm sorry I'm getting too emotional at the thought..............snif,sob!
Luv
Amanda

[NicoleScott]

I can tell you why I've never purged... I don't like throwing money away. :)

Now I know! But it took me a couple of times to learn.

Kate, I read your other thread, and I assume it got deleted because of the religious content. Anyway, it's a good idea in all areas of life to avoid, if possible, making decisions under duress, uncertainty, pressure, doubt, stress, etc. In the case of purging, what's the hurry? You can't undo it, and most of us will tell you that we regretted it later. I sure wish I had some of that stuff back.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I can't tell you how many times I purged all my feminine clothes before I turned 30, but I can tell you how many times I have purged since then.

I was raised in a very macho and religious family and seemed like I purged at least once a year (or more) after I left home. I couldn't accept myself and it took me years (and therapy) to get my life together. I met my wife in my early 30's and told her about Tammy the night we met. She accepted me and I was well on my way to accepting myself. (and saving money from lack of purges)

[abby054]

Kate, ... Anyway, it's a good idea in all areas of life to avoid, if possible, making decisions under duress, uncertainty, pressure, doubt, stress, etc.

I agree...it is better to take my time and make decisions with as much evidence as possible and with calm rationality. This luxurious environment is not always available. In my case, I went to a college where we were carefully taught to make competent decisions while being shot at, figuratively and literally. Being under mental pressure to purge is not a calm, rational environment. Your suggestion to delay the decision is one tactic that we were taught. It works in war. It works under stress to purge. I delay until I can calmly count the cost of rebuilding. The enormity of that cost keeps my wardrobe intact.

[Rogina B]

It is because you are wanting to purge all the best things. Try purging your male underwear and see just how easy it is.

See how THEY sell on EBay...

[Marcelle]

Not that would purge (too expensive) but I can't or I would throwing/giving away a lot of my wife's clothing as we tend to share.

Instead of purging, why not just box them up and store them for the day when you do need them.

Hugs

Isha

[Roberta Marie]

I think Tammy is on the right track. I have not had any urge or need to purge since I accepted that this is part of who I am, that I was created this way for a purpose. Shortly after that I came out to my wife. Since then I've had no reason to feel guilty or ashamed of who I am. The need to purge comes from our shame and guilt. There is nothing wrong with being transgender. It is not a sin to be transgender. I have come to understand that, for me, being transgender is a gift, and just like any other gift, the sin is in what you do, or don't do with that gift.

I think that once you figure that out, you will not have any need to purge. Be proud of who you are!

[monalisa]

Why not donate them to one of the ladies on this site. Unfirtunately it is hard to include dress wear in your garage sale without neighbors wondering.

[Lee Andrews]

All I can say from experience is box it up, put it away and go on with life. You may or may not one day return to CDing but if you do you will regret throwing out or selling your stuff. A few years down the road and you have zero desire to dress still, then revisit the thought of selling/throwing out.

[CostaRicaRachel]

I feel better now. I just bought breast forms about 3 months ago (I'm going to SCC) but before that I was
using water ballons. I thought I was the only strange person in the world using water ballons. It kind of a relief to
know that I some one else was using water balloons too. One of the advantages of water balloons over
breast froms is I could try different breast sizes depending on how I felt.

[Kris Avery]

I acquire more from time to time, and my collection is limited in what will fit in some dressers and a closet.
When it starts to spill over, some of the pretty things get relegated to storage.
From time to time I not only go through my primary (active) collection but also the collection in storage.

It's the items that are in storage that are really on "the chopping block" when this happens.

[~Joanne~]

Getting married is not going to stop your CDing. It may slow it down a bit at first but it will comes back again and again as many girls here will tell You. I think we have all purged at some point or another and wish we hadn't for the same reasons you stated. I have lost a lot of great items, time and time again myself. Now, My SO knows so there are no more purges in my future, if I did try she'd probably kill me knowing how much money we have spent between ourselves on our shopping trips. If you do feel the need though, just pack everything away instead, you'll thank yourself later.

[Ressie]

The benefit of purging would have to outweigh the benefit of not purging. Believing that you're cursed by owning and wearing women's clothes doesn't make sense to me. There seems to be a lot of CDs that are blessed, not cursed. Purging because you have a new GF would make more sense, but storing rather than purging would be a better option. Better yet, tell the new gf that your a CD immediately.

Even if you find a gf that's your size do you think she'd want to wear cheerleading outfits? The few times I purged I didn't have much anyway. Now that I have closet and drawers filled with clothes I've collected over the last few years purging never crosses my mind. I simply have no reason to.

[Emi_]

Part of the deal between my wife and me is that I keep my wardrobe to a certain size quantity-wise. This requires me to have to eliminate some items in order to obtain other items - like sending away one pair of shoes in order to buy a new pair. My solution is to send older items to thrift/charity shops and sometimes to a local women's shelter. In this way, the clothes I'm discarding is going to a good purpose and not simply going to waste and it keeps the wardrobe under control. It's always exciting to find something new at the store and then to plan what I will trade from my closet for it.

We should never get so attached to objects that they dictate our actions. Too many cross-dressers are owned by their cross-dressing when it's supposed to be the other way round.

[6inchheels]

The good news is that you're not cursed. How do I know you may ask; because curses aren't real. Enjoy you're pretty things. You only live once. Well maybe... I don't really know in all honesty... The point is that you shouldn't feel bad about liking pretty clothes. Don't purge. Just don't do it. You'll be sad later.

[GreyEyes]

My last purge was abut 39 years ago -- before I started going out with my wife-to-be. Looking back, I did purges because I didn't know any better; the only advice I had at that time was from my mom, who told me in high school that I would never attract a woman who knew my secret. That absolutely turned out not to be the case -- but it did keep me lonely for several years.

[Ilsa]

I no longer look at it as purging and had no regrets because I donated my clothing to the Salvation Army or Rescue Mission. Besides, much of the clothing went out of style, wore out or I gained or loss a dress size then and again.

[Angie G]

I'm a crossdresser and always will be. I did purge a few time befor my wife knew. And now she knows I will never purge again.:hugs:
Angie

[docrobbysherry]

I think u have to realize that sometimes your thots can be unrealistic, Kate.

1. That purging will cure your crossdressing. Unless everything u own is crap and doesn't fit, don't do it!

2. That any woman u imagine marrying will want anything to do with your "hobby". Much less will wear Kate's clothes!

[JenniferR771]

The urge to purge is a big problem for any cd. Gosh I wish I had the prom dress and human hair wig my counselor convinced me to get rid of.
Think of the big expense it will take to replace those treasured Katy items.
Why not just lock Kate's girly things in a big storage box. Lock it tight and throw away the key. Then become a better Christian.
Next year--you will--know what to do. And if you need a crowbar to break into the box--so be it.