Do you ever drop hints you dress?

[SusanaO]

I have two GG friends whom I'm fairly close with, though neither know I dress. Lately, however, I have dropped some hints that I do:

A weeks ago, one of them was in a bit of a quandary; she had an event to get to in two hours with no proper shoes, and had to go right after work with no time to get shoes. I stepped in to help... I went to the mall, picked out a pair of heels for her which she absolutely loved (and apparently bragged to others I chose them for her). I told her half-jokingly "my inner woman has taste."

For a few weeks now I've been wearing nail polish daily. They joked about me being more of a woman than them, as I'm very particular about how I do them and once I damage one I immediately fix it. I simply told them "I'll teach you guys so we can get together and do each others' nails."

For a few months they had been joking about waxing me (lucky me), as they "wanted to see me in pain." Needless to say, I let them, and experience little pain. Again, they joked how a real man would have felt pain. I told them "perhaps I'm more of a woman than it seems."

The three of us went out to dinner last night, and one of them brought up my nails. She remarked how much of a woman I seemed the way I flashed her my fingernails. I told her, "given how you guys treat me like a woman now, I should just go ahead with a sex change. That way, we can have a genuine girls' night out and go pee together." They laughed and even remarked how the difference would be official more than anything. What made my day is I asked them if they'd still accept me as a friend, to which their reply was a YES :)


I do not consider myself transgender nor do I have plans of transitioning or doing anything permanent, but I do love to dress. I would like to come out to them, but I feel like I would have the courage to be honest only if they asked. I think if they did ask me right now, I would come out. But I don't think I could come out otherwise. I think that's why I naturally drop the hints. They already waxed me and joke about the girly things I do, and they see how I mingle with girls. I'm not worried things won't be the same afterwards.

But even if they wonder or have an idea, they won't ask.

Maybe I'll be the one to say so one day when I'm drunk :P

[SuzanneS]

Just my opinion, but I think you have a pretty sweet deal going on right now....no reason to let the cat out of the bag completely. That cat won't go back in the bag if you let it out, either.....

Suzanne

[lovetobedani]

I agree with Suzanne. You do have a great thing going for you now. If your friendship with them develops naturally they just might suggest dressing you up some time. And it may be sooner than you think. Be patient and let it run it's course.

[Anna H]

Me too...i agree with letting it go for now and let an even closer
relationship take it own course.

Maybe soon they'll insist on dressing you up! :)

[6inchheels]

It sounds to me like they would totally dig it. I don't want to go on record as saying that you should just go all in all at once or anything. It sounds like you're on a nice smooth path just stay the course. :) enjoy

[lexivanderpump]

As funny as this sounds, I hint about it to my co-workers alot. I have even shown them pictures of my dolled up from the chest down. They think I am a joker and just having some fun with them. They totally think I am kidding, even though I may not share it in a joking way. I think one of them knows I am serious, but he just smiles about it.

[Paula Siemen]

I sometimes joke with some collegues about dressing or wearin feminine articles of clothes. We all just laugh about it and carry on. I have a reason for joking this way as I feel if my fem side was out to anyone at work...their replys to my joking around would be more pointed and direct. No one has ever replied with any comments that would give me any indication that my secrete is out.....So i guess everything is cool.

Paula

[Diane Smith]

Susana, it sounds to me like your two friends already have you totally figured out and won't be surprised at all if you show up dressed for one of your GNOs.

- Diane

[Allison Chaynes]

I told my mom I wear pantyhose, but she thinks it's for circulatory reasons. My mother in law found put I had worked at Lane Bryant and started a long winded conversation about their panties being expensive, and how she preferred some dollar store brand even though they didn't hold up. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything, but I know she saw pics of me dressed as a female politician at Halloween.

[Anna H]

There's a tall very attractive and friendly girl who works nearby
me...who obviously buys some of her clothes online from the same
place I do.

We buy some of the same exact tops. I'd love to wear one in that
office one day, but I wouldn't take a chance on her not liking that
and not being so friendly from now on.

I wonder if she's noticed my nails painted. And my hair may be a clue,
but still, i won't push my luck....lol!

[Teresa]

Susan Depending on who I'm talking to I do drop comments in, not to directly give myself away and I would probably not tell people, but if they asked I would suggest that I could be a CDer !

[Rogina B]

Susana, it sounds to me like your two friends already have you totally figured out and won't be surprised at all if you show up dressed for one of your GNOs.

- Diane
Stop talking about it and take action.They would be happy with being in your circle of trust and are telling you that.On another note,please do not facilitate the silliness that a genetic male has to undergo a sex change in order to wear a dress or pee in the girl's room...If those were your words,then they were not chosen well.. Now,tell them you wear women's clothes and want to show them..they can enjoy that..

[Marcelle]

Hi Susana,

To be honest, with the amount of hints you dropped, painted nails and whatnot I am pretty sure they suspect you might be TG or gender bending.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Susana - sounds like all the right signals are there and the only way you are going to find out.... is...??? :)

Seriously, you already present on the feminine side of androgynous (as far as I can tell) - it seems that you have little to lose and potentially a lot of freedom of expression to gain by revealing this side of you in a very measured way... :D

Honestly, you California Girls... ;)

Carpe diem, dear... :cheer:

Katey x

[Lee Andrews]

Reading your post, I figure they already know and are waiting for you for the next move.

[Rabecca]

Just sit in the weeds and let that hole thing happen.
You may want to say to one of them about (may be)
trying on a skirt some day.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Although I've been tempted at times I do not consciously drop hints that I dress with anyone.

In fact I have to bite my tongue at time to not say anything. This has come up when my daughters as my wife a fashion or makeup question that I know the answer to.

[Krisi]

I don't drop hints about my dressing. If I wanted anyone to know (I don't), I would just tell them.

I think most of the general public doesn't think about crossdressing so when they see your fancy nails or hair or when you know more than most men about fashion, nails or hair, their assumption is that you are gay. Most of the public thinks crossdressers are gay anyway.

[Dianne S]

I don't drop hints. If I want people to know, I tell them; otherwise, I don't. However, I have changed my appearance in the last year: Beard is gone; laser has zapped a lot of my leftover facial hair; ears are pierced; hair is grown long and kept in a pony tail and arms and legs are shaved. I'm not doing this to drop hints. I'm doing it to make it easier to present as female when I do dress.

[Madilyn A.]

Susan, Women are much more intuitive than men, they know you CD and you have all but come out t them already. They have already accepted you as one of them. Enjoy your girls night out and let us know their reaction when it happens.

[CynthiaD]

I never drop verbal hints. But I wear a lot of femme stuff in male mode, so it's not too hard to figure out. My male mode attire often includes red nail polish, all sorts of feminine jewelry, jeans with flowers embroidered down the leg, frilly tops, and open-toed flats with bows on them. (Painted toenails of course.) Of course I always act very masculine in male mode, so nobody suspects a thing. :)

[bridget thronton]

Close female friends seem to figure out on their own and seem to invite my dropping hints.

[reb.femme]

I agree with just about all the comments here, especially that you are very lucky to have such friends. I would just let the relationship develop naturally and they will in the natural order of things, suggest that you get dressed up. Anyone taking bets on this? :heehee:

I love getting involved in the girl conversations at work about clothing, makeup etc. and divulging my knowledge on the subject in hand. I'm not outing myself directly but my shaven hands, arms and trimmed eyebrows are a bit of a give away, if you are in the know about CD/TG. However, the average muggle is not, so it passes them by, in the main. Also, I'm not exactly worried if outed quite frankly.

So in conclusion,............."You lucky git".

Rebecca

[Nikki A.]

Woman's intuition, they know and are waiting for you to open up to them. It's hard, but I did it with a co worker and we've had a few trips out over the years.

[tictac43]

That sounds like a fun situation! I agree that they may already know haha which would make it really easy for you hehe

[SusanaO]

Thanks for all the replies, ladies! :)

I was thinking of just one day going to their place (they're roommates) with my girl attire in a duffel bag, going into the bathroom and casually coming out in girl mode, as if I did it with them all the time... and what happens, happens.

[MsJulie]

Hello to all...Hey Susana

This seems like such a wondrous place...and I am brand new here.

The only advice I will give is that you know your friends- and if they are accepting and partake in your gender non-conformity already- it is probably reasonable to believe that the actual dressing would be welcomed and they would have a ball helping you with it...a dream come true...

As far as hints go...I am verbally very playful...irreverent and joke around...So I frequently say things. Thursday evening, while out on a date, I complimented her toe nails...I mistakenly called them blue...she corrected me and said they were purple...I told her mine were red(which is true...inside socks and shoes)...she asked if they were multi-colored and I said nope...just solid red...she laughed and we went on walking.

Back to your friends ...everyone is different and you will know best when it is right to share...seems like you have two wonderful and fun women to spend time with...and do GNO's with. I don't suspect it will be too long before you get to dress entirely with them...Lucky girl!

xox

julie

[jessidresser]

If i like the woman i just tell them i have a history of crossdressing, and in 2014 most say, it's not a big deal. :-)

[Claire Cook]

Thanks for all the replies, ladies! :)

I was thinking of just one day going to their place (they're roommates) with my girl attire in a duffel bag, going into the bathroom and casually coming out in girl mode, as if I did it with them all the time... and what happens, happens.

Susana, you MUST tell us how that goes -- I'll bet it will go great. :battingeyelashes:

[Cheryl T]

from time to time someone will make a comment and I'll quip something related.
I typically wear shorts most of the year till it gets snowy and really cold. One very chilly (about 38 deg F) I was at a customer's and the lady looked and said "aren't your legs cold in those shorts?". I said not really and responded "don't you wear skirts in the winter?". She said "yes, but I wear pantyhose". So I said, "then maybe I'll have to try that".
We both laughed, but little did she know....

[JessicaKasey]

A few months ago, that "no makeup" cancer research nomination thing was doing the rounds on social media by women. At some point men were slapping on makeup and joining in. I used this excuse to go a step further and post one of my hot red dress shots on Facebook! It felt great and everyone was amazed by the way I looked. Not one person said it was weird or asked if I crossdress, some of my male friends thought I looked hot and a couple of girls thought it was a photo of my ex!

It was fun. I like fun! :heehee:

[Samantha_Smile]

I often just outright tell people at work but they always think I'm joking.

Of course me SOH is very dry and sarcastic, so it's easy to see why :D


For example.
Because I work with 90% females, it's never long before someone calls me a female name.
So if someone is talking to me and says, for instance
"Debbie, if you've got a minute can you do me a favour?"
I respond with
"Now come on, that's only my name on my days off, you cant call me that here"

It's always met with fits of laughter (It's all in the comedic delivery).

I've been doing the same gag for years and nobody has started to take me seriously yet! LOL

[Linda Leigh]

I think they already know and are just waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell them.

That is just my opinion :)

Linda Leigh

[Samantha_Smile]

I think they already know and are just waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell them.

That is just my opinion :)

Linda Leigh

LOL - Yeah, I'm of a different opinion. Would be lovely though

[lpjamey]

I drop hints all of time. My so knows that I dress but is in dadt. I drop hints to everyone and most really don't care. I try to let my so know that I want to wear heels at home but she keeps holding me back!

[Cynthia_0101]

I told a co-worker that I owned and could walk in heels. She pretty much knows the whole story now.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Once in awhile, I'll make a comment that could be interpreted in whichever way they want to. Most people look at me, shake their head and walk away. The guys I work with tell me... "yeah right" you would never do something like that, your too macho...
Isn't it funny how you can be totally honest and no one will believe you ?

[MissTee]

My wife tells me that if a woman notices a man doing girly things, or having girly mannerisms and such, then she immediately starts thinking he must be gay. Rarely does the uninformed think crossdresser as it's just so not mainstream. To all that she added every girl wants an effeminate gay friend because, well, they get what girls like.

I tend to think she's right.

[Emi_]

Every time I put on a dress I imagine that there's probably going to be someone who will notice that I'm wearing women's clothing.

[Adriana Moretti]

My wife tells me that if a woman notices a man doing girly things, or having girly mannerisms and such, then she immediately starts thinking he must be gay.
I tend to think she's right.

I think so too....I am on peoples gaydar....even though I like the best of both worlds.

[Ashley Lyn]

My friends and I joke around about it. They give me girl names!
Talk about panties and fish-nets..
Would love to shave my legs and show up at golf one day in shorts! Hmm.m.m.m.....
Wonder what their reaction would be.. Probably none at all..
Guess I'd have to tell them that short skirts and hairy legs just don't work!:heehee:

[lydialeighTNCD]

I say, don't show up with girl attire in the duffel bag, just show up wearing your girl attire. see if they even recognize you. easier said than done, of course. I daydream about that stuff all the time. and I drop hints every so often, I think. but that's because I try to build up support circles. people I can share it with and get comfortable with. but I usually ask hypothetical questions first to see how they respond. and then proceed from there.

[savannaxdrsser]

i do think the ladies know that something is up and you are soo lucky to have them as friends. Enjoy their company, sooner or later it will come out about your dressing! you should ask if they wished to attend a drag show with you, that might do it. best of luck!

[Mollyanne]

Being that you have "hinted" about your feminine side and they have not only accepted but have encouraged it, I would definitely ask the one woman you are closest to how she would feel if she saw you dressed or knew that you dressed. BTW, anytime you want to trade places just let me know.

Molly

[SusanaO]

Both have seen me on a few occasions but during costume parties.

I'll let you know how it goes :)

[Lacey New]

Only to the SAs at the stores where I shop for my Lacey things.

[Badwolf]

I've dropped hints and as other people say, most people once I tell them still are flabbergasted. They think they are just quirks. Now I rarely lay them on as thick as the OP. For example I've worn some masculine looking women's clothing (only one GG at work noticed, and she didn't say a word, I just caught her smirk once or twice). I also have kept my nails longer than most men, sometimes painted. I have my hair long, eyebrows somewhat arched. Still get the flabbergasted response. My wax tech that I just outted myself to, was literally asking me why I wanted my eyebrows arched, as she's asking me to hold some places with my acrylics. I just told her straight on and she understood right away. I immediately followed up by telling her I'd like to enlist her beautician skills for some stuff soon.

As for telling them, I'm not entirely sure they know EXACTLY what you have to say, but they know somethings up and that you want to come out to them. Women do tend to be a little more intuitive than men, although I used to see it more when I was younger. They may see your nervous and want to wait for you to feel comfortable to not "scare you away" etc. The hints they are throwing back are that they would love you anyways, and so far I think they are laying them on almost as thick as you are.

As for how it goes on average. A lot of women have issues outright because of odd reasons, but the ones that are cool with it, its ALWAYS safe as long as your just friends. They still think they can find their normal guy to marry. The odds of finding one that really digs it in her personal life are pretty small, but you won't even have a chance if you don't come out to people in the first place. I was in the process of coming out A LOT, before I met my current SO, and came out to her pretty early in the relationship. She has some issues, but I love her anyways and am seeing how to make it work before we get married.

As for how to tell them a lot of us love to go back to our fantasies. The fantasy is of getting caught up in their girly fun and blossoming is pretty pervasive, and would definitely feel more natural. In terms of friendships and slightly more common interactions of people, you might just have to tell them however you can. Be ready to answer as many of their questions as soon as possible (even if it's with an "i don't know yet"). The more you look even keeled, the better case you make for most of us, but either way having a supportive group of friends can do wonders for balancing us out as well.

As someone else said the bathroom comment furthers some issues that are an issue to girls like us (fear of the perverted crossdresser in the bathroom), so it probably won't help your cause in the long run either, but I'm not particularly worried about it in the context you used it. Just be aware that it can further certain stereotypes for all different types of T's. Pre-ops not truly being women, the perverted cross dresser, are all real life tropes that make life really hard on many of us.

[MeredithG]

I have a good friend Diane who I have dropped hints with many times over the years, and she is great about playing along. We've 'argued' about who has the better legs. She helps me with shopping for jewelry for my daughters or my sister at Christmas. Last year at a busy jewelry store the sales person behind the counter looked right at us both and said 'I'll be with you ladies in a minute' and walked off - Diane got quite a chortle at that one. She's a good golfer and has nearly beaten me a couple times - she's said that if she beats me, I might have to play the next round in a skirt. And she just mailed me a banana muffin recipe that she said was fab!

[cassandra54]

I haven't yet. But I'm planning on being dressed on Halloween night. I know my neighbor will catch on that it just be more than a costume. I'm prepared for her asking if there's more to it than just Halloween. I'm going to tell her something like this

"Well if I did dress up like a woman on a regular basis, I wouldn't be conflicted or have any issues and I would just do it for fun."

[paulaprimo]

i drop hints almost daily. i can get away with it because the people that know me (or think they do)
would swear that i'm the last person they would suspect of cross dressing...

[Isabella Ross]

So I was on the first tee of our golf course a few days ago, playing with some guys that I know well. One of them commented on my leg hair, or lack of it (I'm blessed with really light, wispy body hair, and not much of it). Before I knew it, the words came out of my mouth: "Yep, I've been thinking that I might as well just shave it off!" Still shaking my head that I said that, and asking myself why I did...