as much as things change

[GabbiSophia]

Things stay the same.

On hormones almost 4 months now. Doing laser and trying to accept myself every day. Trying to go forward but trying to go at MY pace. Yep my gd wants a different pace. Home life is crazy with a step child that doesn't know yet. So when he goes to his dad's i can just be. Lol his dad never takes him so 6 weeks of nothing. Then he finally goes and i am so busy that I don't have time to be me because I am working. During the weekend my anxiety about killed me shesh. I find it crazy that the brain is ok when the kid is around but the moment he leaves it is the 1000 lb gorrilla on my back. I find it crazy that at this time I can't find a pace. Jeez no wonder girls move a w a and go stealth.

[Donna Joanne]

Gabbi, I finally found peace the day I realized no matter what I was or wasn't wearing, when I look into the mirror it is me looking back. And me is Donna, a 54 year old self conscious, neurotic, paranoid woman who used to worry more about being the person the world wanted her to be than the woman she is and always has been. Am I fully transitioned? No. Will I someday? Yes. Will I be who the world expects me to be when I'm done? PROBABLY NOT!

[LeaP]

Couple of things:

Your pace comment emphasis is a refreshing change. There's a self-affirmation in there somewhere that had not been apparent before.

Someone once compared GD to tinnitus. It's always there, but you notice it more when it's quiet. ... And then it can drive you crazy. Distraction is fine as long as you can rely on it to carry you. If not, take steps experimentally to what does quiet things for you.