Comment Last Night

[StephanieCLT]

So my wife, who has no idea, well not much of an idea, of my desire to crossdress, asked me last night after dinner when I turned down dessert, "Why not? Are you working on your girlish figure?" All I could think to say (though I didn't!), was "How did you know?" :)

[Isabella Ross]

Sounds like an opening to me. Never underestimate how perceptive women and, in particular, your SO, can be...at least that's my rule of thumb.

[lydialeighTNCD]

aw I totally would've probably gotten a little paranoid that she knew. but I would've playfully responded with "why, yes I am. I've got my eye on a pretty dress!"

[MsVal]

How about "I'd like to talk with you about that."?

[Emi_]

Probably just an innocent jibe. Every time I wear shorts, someone will inevitably remark, "Nice legs." It is actually a sign of how society still sees gender non-conformity as the stuff of jokes worthy only of being a cheap punch line. I'd hold off on that new prom dress based on that one passing comment.

[iGenny]

Every now and then, like two nights ago, I'll say or do something and she'll say, "You're such a girl." But it's never in a mean way, just matter-of-fact.

When she hands me her purse while we're out shopping, I just sling it across my shoulder. She'll finish what she's doing, we'll walk to the next rack, and she'll finally remember to ask for it back. "I forgot it was my purse.

If I ever get the guts to tell her about my dressing, she won't be surprised. She won't like it, but she won't be surprised.

[NicoleScott]

My guy friends say that and things like that all the time. Before you consider that an "opening", you might want to get a second indicator.

[Katy120]

It could be just funny banter, it could be a probing comment, or it could be none of the above. You would know better than any of us. If this is the only litmus test you have regarding whether she knows or doesn't know, I think you better wait for a more definitive indicator. My two pence worth...

[CynthiaD]

I doubt that it was a probing comment. I've heard the girlish figure joke a million times.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephanie, You got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them.:daydreaming:

[lexivanderpump]

Stephanie,
Joking around about my feminine side was how I eventually told my wife about my cross-dressing. When I told her I was shopping for 6 inch heels one day at the mall with her, she turned to me and said, "You are serious, aren't you?". I said "Yes". It felt so liberating. And now I paint my nails, shave my legs, wear girlie clothes and currently I am shopping for a wig. My wife just told me. "As long as you buy your own make up and nail polish because I don't want you using mine up". No problem. I get excited while I shop for girl stuff. Matter of fact, some of the employees(mostly females) at the stores I frequent for my girl stuff have gotten to know me. So long story short, it was from constantly joking about it that I finally told my wife about my cross-dressing.

Love,
Lexi

[mechamoose]

It could be an off-hand remark... I have often declined food in deference to maintaining my 'girlish figure' <insert giggle here>

But an opening in Smaug's scales was all that it took. Maybe you can find a way to let her know that parts of you identify with female views and things? Don't drop it all out at once. Maybe try and find a way to let her know that you understand and identify with female issues/things as a first step?

Then after that, displaying those features might not be as jarring.

If she only thinks of you as a 'dude', only interested in 'dude' things, then your appreciation for mascara and eye-liner is going to disrupt her.

Small steps, sweetie!

- MM

[Kris Avery]

For some reason that is a hot button for my SO.
I stay away from the figure remarks and I'm better off.

[StephanieCLT]

Hi Ladies. Yeah, it was an interesting comment, but to be clear, I took it for just that - an off-handed remark. I don't think there was anything deeper to it, nor do I think it's the opening to take anything further (I have another one that I plan on pursuing in the near future). However, it was just interesting that most people would have just dismissed. However, it certainly got my attention, and I felt like you would appreciate it as well. :daydreaming:

[Amanda22]

There's a big difference between "has no idea" and "not much of an idea," in my opinion. I wouldn't read much into her comment. I've heard that phrase used very often in non-CD conversation. I'd suggest letting her know about your need/desire to cross dress. Waiting only complicates things.

[Bria]

I would have just said "yes" and let the chips fall where they may. It was probably just a little jibe with no other meaning.

Hugs, Bria

[Ressie]

Well, if you were eating out I can understand turning down an expensive dessert. "Honey, I'm saving up for electrolysis"

[Jenniferathome]

First, That is a VERY common expression. Cross dressers seem to want to read between the lines even when there are no lines. But second, what does this mean?


S...well not much of an idea, of my desire to crossdress, ...

One can't half-know.

[kimdl93]

As said above, it's a common expression. Avoid reading anything into it. And if you want your wife to know, then tell her.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Reminds me of a conversation I had with a colleague a long time ago. Someone joked with him about wearing pantyhose, and he said, "I don't like them because they mat down my hair." I figured he had to be a CD to make a comment like that, but I was so deep in the closet that I hd no way to discuss the topic.

This comment was almost 40 years ago, and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

[LisaTX]

I have heard that from time to time from girls at work - I usually just go with it and playfully say something like..."Of course girl, can you see a diff" and then laugh it off. Same with my wife who sometimes says I am a "prissy" guy. Hmmmm?

[Krisi]

That's a pretty common comment. I wouldn't read anything into it.

You could come back with a comment like "Yes, I'm trying to get down to a size 10" or something like that but say it in a joking manner.

[CherylFlint]

Sounds like a compliment to me.

[Della]

Been there. I could have written your post. And I too wonder if my response should have been different, if for no other reason than to start a discussion of something that is, at least to me. important.

[LelaK]

Steffi said: Reminds me of a conversation I had with a colleague a long time ago. Someone joked with him about wearing pantyhose, and he said, "I don't like them because they mat down my hair."
Sounds like he meant when robbing a bank or something.

As for Steph, if your pic is you, your figure IS rather nicely girlish.

[Tiffany Jane]

Similar comments are not always invitations. "Have you gone soft"? I hear my dads voice. "You have always been emotional, even as a child." I hear my moms voice. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." I hear every person I have ever been around I wanted to tell.

You know your wife best and it is her body language, tone, and overall personality that you will have to weigh this out with. Passing general comments aren't always open doors, but our own mirages of such.

[Tina_gm]

Every now and then, like two nights ago, I'll say or do something and she'll say, "You're such a girl." But it's never in a mean way, just matter-of-fact.

When she hands me her purse while we're out shopping, I just sling it across my shoulder. She'll finish what she's doing, we'll walk to the next rack, and she'll finally remember to ask for it back. "I forgot it was my purse.

If I ever get the guts to tell her about my dressing, she won't be surprised. She won't like it, but she won't be surprised.Do not be surprised if she is still surprised. Even though when I told my wife, when the conversation took place it was not a sit down I have to tell you something, it sort of just happened, I had figured I had sort of leaked enough that she would not have been shocked by it. I was wrong.



So my wife, who has no idea, well not much of an idea, of my desire to crossdress, asked me last night after dinner when I turned down dessert, "Why not? Are you working on your girlish figure?" All I could think to say (though I didn't!), was "How did you know?" :)It could be a way for her to open up something she already knows or suspects. Not sure why a woman would say such a thing otherwise, but never underestimate anything. It would be a good time in a situation like that to continue a word game and see if it goes from there, like how did you know, or am I starting to lose it....