Helping Others

[PretzelGirl]

One thing I suspect happens often to many of us is that once we are out, someone gets directed our way needing help. I guess it probably happens a lot. I had this happen just about a month ago. I was put in touch with a mother who was told by her young daughter that she was really a boy. Since then, we have had multiple Facebook conversations that were educational, supportive, and caring. Another member here helped me greatly with local resources and one of those resources turned out to be a huge support for her. But all along the parents were trying to do what was best for their son, but of course hit emotional barriers, mostly because this was absolutely new to them.

Tonight they posted to tell their family and friends about it. The replies of support always get me but I am taken by the love that parents show to accept this new concept and adapt their lives and their thoughts so that their son can be happy and comfortable in his life. This week he started school as a boy and then is getting this love from family and friends. Well worth the tears I am losing reading the post and thinking about what has only been a month.

[arbon]

What a really wonderful post for me to read :) Wow, he is starting school as a boy! Awesome!

[PretzelGirl]

Can you believe it? I was in tears when I read that message. He is going to fine in life I think because that is one awesome, accepting set of parents.

[mechamoose]

As I have said before.... the sh!t we go through can make it better for those who follow us.

It is awesome that you have been able to help a family work through this stuff and spare a kid from a bucket of trauma.

*hugs*

- MM

[Rogina B]

It is such a great thing when parents are willing to reach out to the "community" for support and education on Transgender issues rather than hanging in denial or running to the religious community,or the clueless. With supportive parents,any child can have a bright and happy future.

[mechamoose]

It is such a great thing when parents are willing to reach out to the "community" for support and education on Transgender issues rather than hanging in denial or running to the religious community,or the clueless.

Yep. If the parents don't see it, even if they don't know how to *deal* with it, then it is a loss.

Props to the parents for being aware enough to see it, and additional points for reaching out for help!

- MM

[Jorja]

Starting school as a boy, my how times have changed. As I am sure you will follow his progress, be proud of his achievements and know you had a hand in his success. While I have not had any that young, I have helped a few through high school. Two of them will be graduating from college this coming May and have done well for themselves carrying a 3.95 and a 4.0 gpa. Socially they are well adjusted and ready to take on the world as women.

[Suzanne F]

I hope my coming out will lead to these opportunities. Thanks for what you great ladies are doing!
Suzanne

[Brianna_H]

What state is the family in that you helped?

There was a recent news article about a teen boy who realized he is a girl and wanted to attend Jr. High as a girl. The school had major issues at first (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/08/17/new-jersey-middle-school-bans-transgender-teen-from-attending-school-as-a-girl/), but finally came around (http://www.advocate.com/politics/transgender/2014/08/19/nj-school-reverses-position-will-let-trans-teen-attend-girl-she).

[Bria]

Sue, you have given of yourself for this family, there is no higher calling. Huuugggggssss!

Hugs, Bria

[PretzelGirl]

When I think about it, I had to have given some help. But I brush it off as the parents gave so much that anything I might have done completely pales. I have been drawn to tears re-reading it a few times. I always figured that I would be approached now and then, probably at work since at this point, I will be the only one as transitioning in place will prevent being stealth. I just didn't expect to give so soon. It feels good, but seeing it even if I gave nothing feels so much better.

Brianna, it isn't that one. This one is way under the radar, probably in part because it happened pretty fast, so it wouldn't have time to hit any media yet, even it wasn't being kept low key. So for that reason, I have talked in generalities instead of saying anything identifying.

[kimdl93]

Great to hear about positive, proactive parenting, and constructive interactions via social media. I'm happy for the family and applaud your part, however large or small, in helping.

[MonicaJean]

Heart touching to see how parents can make a child's life much better or crush them. I'm so happy to hear of a genuine, loving couple helping their child 'be' rather than trying to control them to what they want. Reading this story made my day.


One thing I suspect happens often to many of us is that once we are out, someone gets directed our way needing help. I guess it probably happens a lot.

I'm hanging on this truth as I start my own journey towards womanhood.

[KellyJameson]

You have always shown others on the forum nothing but kindness and support.

A complete lack of that egocentric behavior that causes harm in the guise of helping.

In my opinion your emotional intelligence and life experience is invaluable to those experiencing GD.

They were lucky to find you.

[Angela Campbell]

As with many of us, someone helped when we needed it. I feel a kind of kinship to anyone who has or is going through this, so I often help others in this area.

[Marleena]

Win-win situation. Nicely done Sue!:)

[PretzelGirl]

Thank you Kelly. I benefitted from those that posted here and from local friends. I can't see not helping others, especially when it is a child. The mother posted pictures recently of the whole family participating in their local Pride Festival. The young man was beaming in every shot. That is what fills me back up. I believe I will have that chance to meet the family next month. I can't pass that up if it still becomes available.

[DebbieL]

Even from my first "coming out" back in 1989, I have been exposed to numerous opportunities to help others. As a 12 step sponsor, I went from 1 sponsee a year to having 6-8 at a time. Several had gender identity issues, others had gender preference issues. A few realized that if I could keep that secret, I could keep their secrets. I also sponsored both men and women, because they realized that I had the mind of both genders.

I remember how hard it was to find someone, ANYONE who could talk to me about my transgender feelings. Doctors refused, a psychologist refused, several therapists refused. My parents knew but didn't know what to say. Drag queens thought I was crazy for wanting to change.

When I finally found a support group where there were transsexuals who were further along in transition, I was filled with hope. I saw what a difference it could make.for others. I've been part of several on-line support groups as well as the support group in Philadelphia. It's been quite an experience going from someone so starved for information to being a source of experience, strength, and hope to others. I've even written a book, which is due for an update.