The Pink Mud

[Sarah Doepner]

Or is it the Pink Quicksand? For the last couple of weeks or more I've been dressing for a few hours almost daily. Previously the normal would be I'd dress like this for a couple of days and then it would be a week or more before dressing again. I don't see this as a Pink Fog experience since I'm not feeling really girly or doing risky things I shouldn't or changing outfits time after time after time. I've only done one set of photos during this entire time, which also makes me think it's not the typical pink fog type of event. This seems to be a different experience for me. I'm getting up and getting dressed for a few hours knowing no one will be coming by the house, going back to guy mode and doing what I need to do for the day and then dressing again for the evening. Nothing real exciting but almost like my feet are stuck in mud or quicksand when it comes time to get back into guy mode. I don't go out crossdressed in my home city except to support group meetings and some GLBT sponsored events, so the time I'm dressed is time spent at home. I've even put off doing a couple of things in the evening that would have been fun, but decided to stay home by myself instead so I could dress.

I'm wondering if I should worry if the pattern goes on much longer so I have a few things I can't back out of on the docket. Any personal experience, observations, suggestions or questions are welcome. After years of crossdressing, this is kind of a new twist for me and I'm attempting to figure out what I'm going through.

[Katey888]

Sarah,

I think you'd be just as productive worrying about global warming... ;)

You don't seem to be experiencing any tangible issues with your 'changed' pattern of behaviour other than to worry about the fact that it has changed... so just go with it... :)

Katey x

[joank]

I have been dressing almost every day for at least part of that day for much of the past 7 years. At 71, it is like I need to do this cause there is not much time left for me.

[devida]

I am not sure why you are concerned that your pattern of behavior has changed. Are you afraid of some kind of loss of control? Are you afraid you're being swept into some current the inevitable end of which is transition? The way you describe not wanting to change back to drab sounds a bit gender dysphoric but it also sounds kinda mild.

I don't like to wear men's clothes and avoid it as much as I can. I do not feel comfortable unless half my clothes, at least, are women's clothes. I really have freedom to dress any way that I want but like everyone else I do experience some social constraints. At least in this little town I don't ever see anyone who dresses like me. In a more progressive environment I am sure I would be much more dramatic!

But don't be concerned that you are changing. Change is what life is about and life without change is deadly, deadly boring and finally, just dead.

[Amanda L.]

Hi Sarah
I Know exactly what you mean when you say it's like being stuck in mud when it's time to return to guy mode. The time spent dressed female is something I like to savour for as long as possible. Time seems to fly when dressed.
I too tend to take myself off the grid, missing out on things I know I will enjoy, to have my femme time.
So what you are experiencing sits with my current pattern, though of late I am feeling a bit ambivalent about dressing.
Sometimes we might need to reboot the system and reset the perspective-o-meter to gain balance (if this is something that you feel you need).
I don't think it is anything to worry about. I think my current lack luster feeling might be due to frequent dressing of late combined with other life factors that are taking my attention. As I always say, worry is wasted energy. If you can control the cause of the worry then you can do something about it. If you can't control the source then worry will not change the outcome.
Cheers
Amanda

[Samantha_Smile]

I wouldn't worry.
I have periods of dressing more, it's no big problem, just ride it out.
You'll be sick of it soon lol

[kimdl93]

I have ate to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but it seems with each passing year, I'm less motivated to go out at night. I do like to get out in the daytime, anything to get me out and among people. But I often find myself staying home at night, dressed but perfectly happy to be home. Maybe it's just maturity.

Besides that, I also share a very strong reluctance to change back into male mode. It's a chore and a bit of a let down.