Am I crazy?

[steffigirl37]

Could really use a little advise or comments for an incident that happened recently.

I was at a little party a couple of weeks ago. About 7-8 couples. We all have known each other for several years through our kids various sports activities. There was a pool. Liquor, beer and wine. Everybody was having a good time. There was a woman there, who is good friends with my wife, and who has sort of flirted with me these past years, seemingly harmless, kept getting me beers all night. Anyway later that night she changed out of her bathing suit into a short white skirt, black top and sandals. Very cute, she looked nice. She comes over and sits right down next to me. Hips touching hips, shoulder to shoulder, her blond hair falling on my shoulder. She asked if I would do her a favor. I didn't have to answer her right away, but her daughter was going to get married next year and would I dance with her (not the daughter) at the wedding. "Take her for a spin around the dance floor" was her exact words. My wife was sitting on the other side of me and I was not sure if she was hearing this, but I looked over at her husband and saw him leaning over trying to hear and with a look on his face as if he were really enjoying this. It just seemed very odd.

Anyway when me and my wife got home ,the kids were out, I went to take a shower and when I got out my wife had laid out an outfit for me on the bed. She has not done this in many years. I was very surprised. It was a dark printed chiffon skirt, black blouse, heels and dark stockings. Needless to say we had an enjoyable evening.

So am I crazy to think that one thing led to another. My wife did hear what was going and reacted?

I would really appreciate any comments.

Thanks for listening

Steffi.

[Katey888]

I believe we humans can feel jealousy at times... perhaps she heard, or perhaps has been aware of past flirting too... :) Still seems flirty and relatively innocent at this time... and that could have instigated your wife's reaction - or not... :thinking:

Are you crazy?

No - just lucky.... :D

Katey x

[Amanda L.]

Hi Steffi
A what a great recipe. Pool, Alcohol, Flirtatious women and a happy ending.
So if that's crazy colour me certifiable.
Cheers
Amanda

[DAVIDA]

Why not just tell your wife what was said?:struggling
Keeping anything from her may not be a good idea.

[charlenesomeone]

Do you think the wife heard? If so there's your answer.
If not I agree with Davida, tell her.
Glad it was a great night!

[Marcelle]

Hi Steffi,

I am with Katey on this one . . . I could had sparked the playful moment with you lovely wife but then again perhaps she was just feeling "frisky" and wanted to play. Flirting can be harmless play but I would be careful and not let it progress too far just so as to avoid any miscommunication/crossed wires.

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi Girl, I think that the lady and her husband may be Swingers in the alternative lifestyle.
Keep us advised , Thanks.

[Raychel]

I would have to agree with some of the others, I would definitely be talking to my wife about this.
maybe just is passing, that this woman is flirting with you.
sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[steffigirl37]

Thanks ladies I really appreciate your responses.

I know it will come up in conversation with my wife. Very soon.

As far as them being swingers, I'm not at all interested.

It was a fun night and I know we will all be meeting again.

Steffi

[Isabella Ross]

Steffi...not sure about what to do about the flirting, but can't let it get lost in this thread that your wife sounds amazing. She clearly sees all of you, and having clothes laid out is no doubt such a pleasure for you, as I know it is for me on those rare occasions.

[kimdl93]

You're asking the wrong people. You might discuss with your wife instead. Personally, I would shy away from such overtures, innocent or not. I don't know what kinda games that woman and her husband might be into, but it is dangerous territory.

[Jenniferathome]

Here's a whacky idea: ask your wife why she did that.

[Kitty215]

Would be best to ask your wife. The chance that they may be swingers is a real one. You never know who is into that I have met some people you would never guess, just average next door types.

[Stephanie47]

I'd talk to your wife and let her know what she asked you to do. Maybe you're a good dancer and her husband is a klutz, and, all she wants is a dance partner. I'd also ask why your wife decided to play up to your fem side. Was it a response to keep her man by playing up to your interest in feminine clothing? Women seem to get possessive when a woman makes a play for their men.

[KellyJameson]

If she is good friends with your wife than there is the possibility that she knows you crossdress.

If she knows so does her husband because that type of gossip would be a difficult secret to keep to oneself.

I would ask your wife if she has ever told her friend that you crossdress.

It may have been sexual or they may have been having fun with you at your expense.

Clearly the husband is not threatened by his wife talking to you. This may be because of a sexual interest or because he does not think you can do him any harm from the conclusions he has drawn from knowing you are a crossdresser.

The shared knowledge would explain alot.

Wives married to crossdressers probably share this knowledge with those closes to them unless they are absolutely mortified by anyone finding out.

I'm amazed by the things women share with me concerning their husbands.

[Jodi]

What was your answer to the woman? You didn't tell us.

Jodi

[FantasyFreeMe]

My ex shared some of my most intimate details with my parents -- she said out of shock and needing someone to talk to -- so I'd guess your neighbor and her husband also knew and that's probably why she felt emboldened to ask you.

[steffigirl37]

Thanks again ladies. Wonderful advice and insights.

First, I don't think my wife has said anything about my cross dressing. We have discussed this before and it is something she wouldn't do. People may suspect it, but nobody has actually confronted me about it. I may have been seen shopping. That's fine. It doesn't bother me

Woman have flirted with me a couple of times before and my wife has seen it. We laughed about it. But never with a friend this close. It just seemed odd.

I guess I would have to agree with Katey. It might be harmless and just stirred a little jealously.

No I am not a good dancer. In fact I don't know how to dance and I have seen her dance with her husband before.

When I do tell my wife about it I do know what she'll say. "You're crazy".

Oh well.

Steffi

[Kris Avery]

I suspect this event made your wife insecure.

She has rightly associated your CD'ing with loyalty..rightly so 99% of the time.

This activity when you returned quite likely made her feel reassured.

[Krisi]

Alcohol can do strange things to people. A lot of us wouldn't have been born if it weren't for alcohol.

Nobody here can say what this woman or her husband were thinking and nobody can say what your wife was thinking. I would just put it out of your mind and go on with life.

[Judith96a]

Here's a whacky idea: ask your wife why she did that.

Nice one Jennifer!

[Erica2Sweet]

I had an incident with a female friend of a friend one night in a club where she was texting me very forward, flirty messages while we were all sitting together at one table, including my wife. Knowing my Lady always reacts responsibly and sensibly when anyone flirts with me, as soon as the young woman stepped away from the table, I showed my wife the messages so she was "in-the-know". Communication and disclosure means everything in a situation where people on your periphery are not behaving as expected and something is said or done that creates an awkward social situation.

As far as your wife's motivations, you may want to just ask her. It may be wise to know if you want the opportunity to duplicate the head space you and she were in that evening...

[NicoleScott]

I went to take a shower and when I got out my wife had laid out an outfit for me on the bed. She has not done this in many years. I was very surprised. It was a dark printed chiffon skirt, black blouse, heels and dark stockings. Needless to say we had an enjoyable evening.


No, don't ask her why she did that. Why question the motive behind something that led to a good outcome ("enjoyable evening" lacks detail but we get it)?

[KatieV]

I'm guessing (I'm not an analyst) - the woman was clearly a bit tipsy, and although she asked you to dance with her daughter, she did so because she finds you attractive and maybe what she wasn't saying what she was thinking - she was thinking about you and her. Transference. And maybe when your wife set out such a beautiful outfit for you - wow - she was thinking that if you need another outlet, this is it, it was actually a bit controlling but in a loving way.

Ciao,

Katy

[vallerie lacy]

Steffi,
How can you delay telling your wife? If she overheard her friend, shouldn't you mention it to your wife. The suspense would be killing me. Sounds like the three of them know something you don't. Actually the suspense is killing me. Telling your wife can only help your relationship.Please let us know the outcome.

[Badwolf]

She sounds like a keeper, so my cross-dressing loyalty link is apparently working. On that note, if that is the reason she did it, make sure you don't do enough with that other lady to make your wife continue to feel uncomfortable.