So's 12 yr old son seen me dressed

[im-sparkles]

My So's kid caught me dressed last night. its not good. today he told his grandparents what he seen.Her parents !

[Billie Jean]

Wow! Hope they are open minded on the subject. Billie Jean

[Anna H]

well, we are a little closer to Halloween....maybe that would work
as an excuse. They're already stocking the stores here where we are...

[LelaK]

Yeah, Halloween practice might be a usable excuse.

Or say you support the rights of men to dress how they like, just as women can dress how they like. Hurry and make a sign saying that for a picket.

[im-sparkles]

Its just that if he tells his dad when he gets home shits gonna hit the fan for his mom then me

[Roxie]

seeing how the cats out of the bag ,so to speak. would it just be easier to be truthful? not really sure depending on how dressed you were if you can B S your way out of it.Does your SO know? should start with her and work your way out

[Chari]

First, please DO NOT panic! How dressed were you & where were you when he "thought" he saw you dressed? Some kids have a very vivid imagination and can create "stories". Consider just waiting until you are approached with his "story", to give it your great reply! Enjoy.

[Marcelle]

Hey there . . . I agree with Chari and don't panic. Wait until someone approaches you or your GF and deal with it then. Coming clean early could be more of a disaster. However, should someone say something then the important thing to remember is the boy and his relationship with his mother. Just breath and wait . . . you might be surprised.

Hugs

Isha

[im-sparkles]

Ok so here's the whole scoop! Friday my SO's 12 yr old son came over for the weekend .He's not a great kid (undisciplined ,rude,loud,act.) so i often hang out in my garage when he's here .My SO knows all about me and often helps me. So i tell her Im going to dress and hang out in the garage . Thank goodness i was to tired to fully dress.I had on my comffy cotton pink night shorts on. Purple fingernails and pink toenails with my sandles with big pink bows on them.No makeup or wig.So Im sitting in my garage reading posts here and apparently was very tired cause i fell asleep.While i was asleep he went out to the garage against his mother telling him not to.He came back inside and told his mother what he had seen. The next morning she then told me what he reported seeing and apparently her parents also later that day.

[Katey888]

So - just to confirm... all you were wearing was pink shorts and sandals...?

My take - if you want to minimise fallout...

You and your SO were messing around - she dared you to try some nail varnish (I've done that.. :)) - that escalated to wearing the shorts and sandals - you then had an argument - so you went to the garage and fell asleep. No big deal... What adults do together is not necessarily any business of the children - and he was told not to go there but did (they love pushing boundaries... all of 'em) - because that is your space (presumably) and he broke a confidence in doing that.... (little so-and-so...)

Morals of the story...
- Don't fall asleep in your nightwear in the garage AND/OR
- Make sure you have a big sod-off lock on that door soon... :)

Katey x

[Sara Jessica]

I'm trying to understand this. Your SO's son is at your home. You know the S#*@ will hit the fan if word gets out and you cannot help yourself but to dress up anyways?

Based on what you are saying, this could create a s#*@-storm for your SO (as you put it, hitting the fan) and it would be a shame if this became some sort of ammunition in a custody situation.

I'd think that there are times when restraint is the best choice. Good luck in dealing with the fallout.

[natalie edwards]

I'm with Sara Jessica why lock the door and take a change of clothes with you?

[Kate Simmons]

Keep us posted as to the outcome Hon.:)

[Rachelakld]

2 options
- one is to deflate any issues - I repeatedly use the expression "and?" so THEY have to think it all the way to the end (people don't believe what they are told, so they need to think it through for themselves).

- other inspired by SouthPark - Duck and Cover

Our thought with you and hope the S doesn't hit the fan

[candykowal]

Hindsight is always fleeting...sorry to hear about the predicament.
Maybe Mom can have a talk with junior about the realities of adult life and use this as a learning experience, for the tike.

[Leslie Langford]

I agree with Sara Jessica...you knowingly made some very bad choices, and now you have to deal with the consequences. Maybe this will be a wake up call for you for the future.

And while I have no particular sympathy for you because of the mess that you have single-handedly gotten yourself into, I'm going to give you some advice that may be rather questionable ethically and not something that I'm particularly proud of, but desperate situations sometimes call for drastic action. In this case, family harmony and the future of your relationship with a diverse group of people may be at stake, none of whom deserves the fall-out that you might have triggered here.

So here's my (gulp!) advice: use the Shaggy defence ("It wasn't me!") in as sincere and emphatic a manner as you are able to muster. At this point, it's your word against the SO's son, and there was no fly on the wall (nor presumably any smartphone pics taken) to corroborate either one of your stories. The kid is an obnoxious sh*t-disturber by all accounts, so his credibility is likely already in the crapper. Use that to your advantage and deny, deny, deny, and when that's done, then stonewall and obfuscate some more until you finally prevail. Hey, it worked for Bill Clinton for the longest time...

Again...I'm not particularly proud of this advice, but it might just work and allow this whole mess to blow over. But you really need to do better in the future and consider this a one-time "Get out of jail free" card that shouldn't be abused going forward...

[im-sparkles]

So far all is good. For those of you condescending me for being me....my so knew i was as i am. he's her child not mine. if he were min he would be a good hearted kid.IAM ME!!I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ME IN MY OWN HOME IN WHICH I PAY FOR!!.

[natalie edwards]

That seems selfish and immature. The point isn't whether or not your girlfriend is accepting, it's how it puts her in a bad spot. Also it may put you in a worse spot. If she were to lose custody of her s
on don't you think she'd blame you? Will she tell everyone the reason? Will you be outed? Do you think at that point she'd say she had been ok with it or it came as a complete shock?
Yeah I know its really none of my business but you asked.

[joanna4]

It's something we all don't want but it is your life and think of it this way, in 100 years who would care. I hope you can accept what happen and go with the flow. If you love these people then you would talk with them about it more and more. For now, working with your SO would be the best move.

[~Joanne~]

I AM ME!!I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ME IN MY OWN HOME IN WHICH I PAY FOR!!.

I can agree with this BUT at the same time, you are also the one that decided to have a relationship and everything it brought to the table. With that said, why even post about it if you don't care? You said it's "not good" yet surely you don't care which seems like a recipe for disaster.

My SO is supportive, accepting, and enjoys from time to time that she has a GF/BF to go shopping with and the like but I would never do anything to put her under the truck sort to speak. I think you need to exit the fog a bit and take a look around you. Really think out what kind of damage your willing to do to others. Yes you should always be you but unless your TG and transitioning, sometimes the CDing has to take a back seat to more important things.

[Sara Jessica]

For those of you condescending me for being me....my so knew i was as i am. he's her child not mine. if he were min he would be a good hearted kid.IAM ME!!I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ME IN MY OWN HOME IN WHICH I PAY FOR!!.

With bravado like this, you might as well be out to everyone you know.

I'm unsure of what kind of advice you were expecting. No one is deriding you for being "you". And what your SO knows isn't all that relevant either. It's about respect (for your SO, for yourself if you don't desire to be outed) and restraint from playing dress-up when based on your description there was a very reasonable expectation that you'd be caught.

I hope you're good with her parents knowing. Seems you weren't so good with that a few days ago or you would have told them about "you" yourself. I hope that going forward you are all good with wondering when the next shoe is going to drop. Your own words, he is "undisciplined...", who has he told? Who will he tell? At what point might you choose disclosure to others on your terms rather than risking them finding out through the grapevine?

[im-sparkles]

I was in a bit of a bad mood when i wrote that last post.That kid just really gets under my skin. However it is what it is now. I wasn't really looking for advice more less getting it off my chest. But points well taken everyone . I shall have to work harder on my restraint both with dressing and temper.Have a great day everyone !!

[vallerie lacy]

You certainly don't have the market cornered on dumb moves. I know I belong to the club too, as I'm sure many others do. The important thing is that nobody gets hurt. I wish you luck. BTW you do look pretty.

[Stephanie47]

There may be an up side to this encounter. If your SO's family is not accepting, you may find the kid is banned from dropping over entirely. If her family is not accepting, it's better to find out sooner than later. As others have said, all you can do is just let it play out.

[Lorileah]

IAM ME!!I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ME IN MY OWN HOME IN WHICH I PAY FOR!!.

guess that's the answer then. Here's my take, it is YOUR life, it is your SO's life. What you do is your choice as long as it isn't illegal or doesn't physically hurt someone. Would his father become physical? Then you need to take measures to protect yourself. If he is just going spread gossip, let him. You can weed out the chaff later. Those who are truly your friends won't care and will see him and an old hen.

Raising the kid, you are on your own. You don't have any control over it but it does IMO point to a very dysfunctional family

[mechamoose]

I see it as awkward, yes, but I also see it as a teaching moment.

"So, does me wearing pink make me a girl any more than you wearing Tapout clothes make you an MMA fighter?"

".. um no"

"But you LIKE thinking of yourself that way, right?"

".. yes"

"Great! Are you hungry? What do you want?"

(Just a suggestion)

- MM

[Badwolf]

To temper some of the advice, calling the kid a liar won't help. The mother might take offense to that when she knows it's flat out true.

You can divert it by suggesting it was curiosity. A bet, "walk a mile in her shoes", etc etc etc to at least divert the issue. Your overall look wasn't specifically an "he does it too good for him to just be trying it out", so you can definitively get away with some diversion.

As for my advice, if your SO is relatively supportive, I think since it's her family you need to have a long discussion of your options together. A lot of this is relating to her family, and if you don't want to react teh same we we all felt when you said "IAM ME!!I WILL CONTINUE TO BE ME IN MY OWN HOME IN WHICH I PAY FOR!!.", then you will accept that this is more about her and her family than it is about you. You are the trigger, but so far it is affecting ALL of her immediate family very quickly, and it's not even her own personal habits that are at the core of the issue.