Gentle amount of hormones...a good perspective?...or not?

[MonicaJean]

Posting this in the transsexual forum, hope this is the right place...

I read many of the topics here, should respond more. :) Love all your stories...the ups & downs, the trials and tribulations...and the freedom to be one's self at the end of it all. :)

Here's my concern...I'm finding gender as more fluid than I had thought, a continuum. I still view myself as female on the inside after all these years (45 of them). Also in the mix is comorbid behaviors, namely depression and overeating. Feeling "flat", no highs or lows, for years now, it's been a coping mechanism in my situation, but it's getting real old.

While researching male hormones, it opened my eyes to how A) male hormone supplements may present a greater health danger than originally thought, and B) is the opposite of what I need in my own body.

Originally thinking that 'flat' feeling (which is really a lack thereof) would vanish with male hormones (never taken any though), after research, that doesn't seem to be the case. The though occurred to me: maybe the opposite is true in my situation: a very slight dose of estrogen, very slight, and T blockers ala MtF hormone therapy would be best? While I'm in no position to grow breasts (would love that eventually but not now) or to transition any time soon, the thought of realigning my own chemical balance to a more proper balance of hormones sounds like a solid idea. Testosterone sounds like the wrong direction in my case.

True or False? --> Thing is, I have no idea if this way of thinking is true or not. Going to see a doctor about male hormones seems like a futile effort as they probably wouldn't be able to work hormones on the other side of the hormone/gender spectrum. True? False?

Just not sure right now. Testosterone seems like the wrong path for me, finding a doctor who would be understanding of all this seems like finding a certain grain of sand on a beach.

and the mix of perhaps depression and overeating are making this even more complex for me to sort out. Who would be best to talk this through? A doctor who knows both sides of the hormone/gender coin? Therapist? Both? This crossroads of life a bit more confusing that I thought it would be. Any input would be greatly appreciated.


Thank you, Michelle

[Aimee20]

There really isn't a lot of wiggle room when it comes to hormones. You really need to be within the normal range for either sex to be healthy and feel ok. Suppressing a little t and adding a little e isn't going to change much, in fact in a generic male body if estrogen is introduced without enough of a t blocker all it will do is raise testosterone.

[LeaP]

This is one of those questions that never dies. There is a TON of threads on this topic in the forum. I suggest you read some of them. The bottom line is that the "little of this, little of that" approach sometimes does provide some emotional relief. You cannot prevent feminization, however. Depending on your physiology, you will get anything ranging from nothing to God knows what. The most likely effect that lower dosages would have would be to slow the changes, not prevent them. The no changes scenario is one in which the emotional relief is likely mostly placebo effect. Meanwhile you're screwing with your body chemistry in one of the most fundamental ways possible.

[Jorja]

The simplest way to find your answer is to talk to your doctor. Have them check your T level. If your T is low, you could try a T shot to see if that elevates your "flat" feeling. You would not be screwing with your body chemistry to any great extent at this point. If that does not relieve your feeling, then you could pursue matters and ask for HRT.

[LeaP]

I read through your OP again after Jorja's answer. Since you don't know, it seems wise to try the testosterone supplement. If your regular doctor won't do it, he can refer you to an Endocrinologist. If that seems to make things worse (in particular), then experimenting with MTF HRT isn't the answer. Explore things with a therapist before going ahead.

Again, be aware that there is no controlling possibilities. I had breast growth on the smallest doses of estrogen and spironolactone available.

[Laura912]

Another medical opinion vote with Lea on this.

[becky77]

I don't know much on these things, but its generally: If you want to live as a woman you have female hormones, as a man male. If your T is low then that's worth looking into, but your motives are a little questionable.
Hormones are serious, they are not a pick me up pill.

[MonicaJean]

Thank you all for the answers. I'll toss out the middle-of-the-road hormone approach I mentioned, since it would be the least productive, if not totally incorrect at this stage or perhaps any stage.

Starting with the T shot makes the most sense as it won't alter the basic hormonal balances...then see what happens from there. If it helps, then great. If not, I'll be back here asking more questions :)

I figure there's no better group on this planet to ask about hormones since you all have been in the trenches with them for years, if not decades. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, this is a long struggle of mine, it's time I stop making excuses and start making progress. THANK YOU!

[KellyJameson]

Sperm quality and testosterone has dropped substantially in males the last fifty years. Women's bodies are also under attack by environmental toxins in the air, water and food.

It is estimated that every single person on the planet regardless of where they live has at least one hundred man made chemicals in their body.

Males are being feminized and females are being masculinized so on some level you could say everyone is going through a sex change whether they want to or not.

Feeling flat could be a symptom of past abuse physically/sexually and or psychologically and or it could be a consequence of lifestyle.

One problem is the sedentary nature of this modern age. Processed food will put you into an early grave while leaving you feeling miserable until that moment arrives.

If testosterone is not right for you now than it would be hard to imagine how it was ever right for you. Look into your past and see if you suffered anxiety when puberty started that was hormonally driven.

You may have tried to self medicate through diet without realizing that was what you were doing.

I had intense food cravings such as black licorice in an attempt to calm myself through reducing the affect of testosterone.

If you have not suffered in your teens, twenties and early thirties than I would be inclined to say you are suffering the cumulative affects of age, lifestyle and environmental toxins.

Belly fat is deadly to men's sense of well being. I have often wondered if dropping testosterone levels as men age is affecting their sense of maleness as that sense of well being

I agree that gender is fluid for most people but I cannot imagine how it would be so for a MtF or FtM.

In my opinion transsexuals simply do not have that luxury because they are locked out of gender by their bodies and by extention society.

Your being comfortable with the idea of gender fluidity leaves me inclined to think you are not suffering the effects of GD.

In general the gender binary is extremely important to transsexuals because it is what they need to live but cannot possess.

Men are raised in a form of emotional repression where feelings that are defined as showing weakness are not tolerated. This is dehumanizing to men so naturally comes with psychological consequences.

I think the way some men give themselves permission to feel is to create a woman inside them but separate who can be that touchy feeling person they cannot permit themselves to be if they want to remain men.

This has nothing to do with actually being a woman as identity.

Gender identity in my opinion has a strong biological component. Your brain is structured and performs like a typical womans does and you realize this with the children you associate with early in life. You know yourself through others so you naturally identify with those like you.

If you have not always strongly identified with girls in childhood than I would urge you to be cautious in thinking that you may be transsexual.

Being a transsexual touches every aspect of your life from day one. It gives you no reprieve.

It is very possible you are fighting depression purely from lifestyle and the difficulty of living healthily in a world made toxic by human activity.

In my opinion sex hormones are critical to good health. To not be one or the other seems contrary to natures design as "good health"

[MonicaJean]

Thank you for all the suggestions, it has given me a lot to contemplate. Made an appointment with a local counselor that specializes in transgender issues. After a few visits, I hope to see some clarity and direction in all this.

And when did the price of therapy sessions jump to sky-high levels? lol

[stefan37]

Therapy is relatively the least expensive component of transition.

[Angela Campbell]

Yes it was much lower cost than electrolysis