Starting Therapy

[Brianna_H]

I started therapy this morning for my gender issues. The therapist was nice and asked good questions. We're definitely in the 'getting to know you' stage, and that's fine. I understand this will be a process. We haven't yet talked about my sexual preference or other thorny issues yet. She recommended that I try going out to safe places dressed up, which I really want to do. She also recommended several resources, some of which I'd already looked into. I was pleased she seemed educated about the local support and social groups.

There's been some debate on the site about the value of therapy, but having benefited from therapy for depression before, I'm definitely on the 'pro' side, at least for me. If indeed I've been repressing something as important as this my whole life, then I feel it's a good idea to have someone with experience to help me sort it out.

She said she'd give it a good year of dressing and going out and therapy before we really talk about hormones or other actions. I understand that. It's been a really traumatic year with three deaths in the family, so even I am concerned that my urge to express as female is some sort of trauma reaction. I don't think so. There were certainly signs and I strongly identify with women in ways I rarely can with men. But still, cautious is good, right?

I post here rather than the CD forum, because I feel closer to TS than CD, even if I eventually sort myself out some other way. Being fashionable or pretty is not my driving goal. I feel happy at home in eyeliner and a home-made skirt. Being treated and feeling like a woman is important, being all dolled up is not, at least for me. The warnings and stories I've heard here have definitely started to sink in. The honeymoon is over with the cross-dressing. I had a terrible reaction to getting my chest and back waxed. I'll try sugaring next time. :/ Expressing my feminine side gives me peace, but the ramifications, cost, and trouble of transition definitely made me slow down. That's ok for now.

I'm rambling. Sorry. Not much to report yet, really. I am excited, but patient. At least I can dress how I like at home. My wife is now accustomed to seeing me in a skirt and makeup. :)

Thanks for the advice and warnings, everyone. This site is really a wonderful source of information and insight. Even the controversies are educational. I think the best decision this site helped with was getting my wife on board right away and not hiding my feelings and dressing from her.

[Kris Avery]

Brianna,

You are not alone that is for sure. Your post seems perfectly natural to me.
I live in an area where there are barely therapists - least wise gender educated ones.
I guess I'm screwed. :eek:

I also have strong TS feelings and have yet to find the exact right place to air some of them in this forum.
CD side, TS side, it would seem there is no middle ground here while people get their head together.

One thing is certain, I identify with women and not with men like you.

I think NOT hiding things from the SO and getting her on board is key. Mine is and it has really helped.

[Angela Campbell]

Good luck to you!

[Megan G]

I'm glad it went well for you Brianna. Take your time and don't rush things.

I enjoy my therapy appointments (except for the cost..lol), she helps me see things from different angles and really helped me dig thru my feelings in the beginning.

Megan

[Jorja]

I am glad to hear you are off to a good start and to hear your therapist in knowledgeable about about the local support and social groups. I would really suggest you consider joining one of them. As for the benefits of therapy, I am all for it. It really helps to have someone help you with all of this.

[I Am Paula]

Welcome to the TS side. You're in the right place.

[Leah Lynn]

Brianna, your roadmap is started. Chart your course, but remember that an occasional ill wind will take you slightly off course. It's a guide, not a hard and fast schedule...

Good luck,

Leah

[Suzanne F]

Brianna,
I am happy that you chose to go to therapy. I am sure your therapist mentioned The River City Gems. I am not a member but my wife and I have attended some of their events. They are a great group of ladies. There are both CDs and TS members and everything in between. They will be very sweet to you and you may find some help as you take your journey. I have to tell you this has been difficult but so rewarding. Good luck!
Suzanne

[Patty B.]

Having been to a therapist, I found it so helpful and enlightening but sounds like you've found a good one. The first therapist I tried had little, actually no knowledge of gender disorders for lack of a better term, but the second was so helpful and I do need to restart with her, divorce has interfered with returning, but its definitely time to go back.
Best wishes on your journey.

[Donna Joanne]

Congratulations Brianna, and godspeed in your journey. Remember when things don't go according to our planned route or schedule, don't look at it as a roadblock or dead end, just a short detour or speed bump! Jump on, hang on, and ENJOY THE RIDE!

[celeste26]

I too began my counseling yesterday. First session was filled with paperwork and little else. Just the very beginning to let the counselor know who I am and what makes me tick. They should have had me fill out those forms at home prior to that first session but it didn't happen that way. Took the "empathy" questionnaire as a reference for later.

[GreyEyes]

I too seem to be an "in betweener" and it seems like I'll only be able to sort that out with therapy. My wife has always known, and always been supportive. Most of the time I'm with her I'm crossdressed. Only rarely am I surprised at how normal that became almost 39 years ago.