Pretty much zero desire to dress up for like 9 months. What to do with these clothes?

[Valerie Nova]

On and off, for a year or so, I got kind of obsessed with cross-dressing. I'm not sure why, really. My current theory is that my testosterone level was really low, due to me essentially not being in control of my own life. Apparently they've done studies, and fans of sports teams experience a drop in testosterone when their teams lose. And I'd been on a bit of a losing streak in life, so to speak, at the height of my own cross-dressing.

That is NOT to disparage anyone who doesn't experience the desire to dress up the same way I do! I'm only speaking for myself here, and I can only speak for my own motivations and desires. But I have personally found that once I felt like I was in control of my own life, my desire to dress up disappeared. And I'm stuck with a whole bunch of clothes that are taking up too much space, and that I don't really care to own.

That not the only possible reason I stopped wanting to dress up though. I've also grown my hair long enough to put into a ponytail, and started dressing a little more hipster-ish, or at least how I see other guys dressing in NYC. And to be fair, that's a little more feminine than I'm used to. But anyway, I'm thinking that perhaps my slightly-more-feminine appearance has been an outlet for the feminine side of my personality, and that's why I no longer want to dress up and play with makeup? I'm actually kind of worried that if I cut my hair, I might get that desire back again. And (no offense) I would really prefer to not to want to dress up. I'm living in a Manhattan apartment, and I barely have room for just my guy clothes.

So, in an act of compromise, I think I'm going to get rid of at least half of these clothes. So, does anyone want a large assortment of size ~12 dresses, size ~10 skirts, size 10-11 women's boots and shoes, and size large for tops and whatever else doesn't have a numerical size? There's even a wig and a steel-boned corset (28-inch waist) in there. And are you able to pick up said collection from upper Manhattan? (Like, 160th St.) If you're embarrassed or whatever, I can just tie a bow around a garbage bag and leave it on the curb at a specific place, date and time. No need to even meet me. I just want to help someone who is currently experiencing the same struggles I formerly was. Send me a message if you're interested.

On the other hand, I've kind of come to the conclusion that, at least for me, dressing up is kind of a dead-end. It just makes me want something that I can't have, and it may be more productive to focus on the things that I want that are obtainable. Of course, pursuit of these other goals isn't necessarily better for my well-being than crossdressing is. I don't know. I'm making it up as I go along. As is everyone.

[CherylFlint]

Box it up. Rent a storage space. Do ANYTHING but DO NOT purge!
So what if you don't wear it? Maybe you don't feel like dressing for awhile. No big deal.
Let me tell you something: we're all in the same boat, here. Been there; done that.
"Dressing up is kind of a dead-end". What?
Listen: our 'X' and 'Y' chromosones got lined-up a little different than most people. So what? It's they way we were made.
Bit of advice: go with the flow and enjoy life. Have FUN! Dressing-up and playing the girl part should be a heck of a lot of FUN. It is for me. I love to shop and get dressed. I enjoy it. It's my life but I don't do it every day, sometimes months go by between dressings. The thing is, though, I know I can dress any time I want and go out on the town, maybe to the mall, and have a good time. Have fun, it's what it's all about.

[Valerie Nova]

It's not that I plan to get rid of ALL my stuff, just half of it. And keeping half is still keeping quite a bit. Believe me.

But like I said, I have zero desire to crossdress, and this has been the case for most of a year now. So I have more clothes and shoes and boots than I care to admit, taking up too much space. I'm all for you girls dressing up whenever you feel like it, and feeling no negative feelings when doing so. It's just that I no longer have that desire, and don't really miss feeling it? Does that make sense?

[LelaK]

I don't see a problem with purging, or half-purging, if you can afford it, esp. if you donate the clothes to someone or to a thrift store or charity. I haven't purged yet, except for getting rid of one or two items that didn't fit well, but I get my stuff second hand, so even I can afford to do it, if I want to, even though I'm near the poverty level. You can also give them away on Craigslist or something, if no one from here asks for them. Your photo looks nice. Don't you like to look that way? I guess not, for now.

[docrobbysherry]

They're just clothes, Valerie. Keep 'em give 'em away. U sound young. Even if u start dressing again, it shouldn't matter much either way.

[Teresa]

I think Cheryl is right, find somewhere to store your stuff, Cding is odd, something changes in your life and suddenly the urge is there twice as strong !

[donnalee]

Or, alternatively, I could PM you my address and you could ship them to me! I promise to return them when asked (and if you believe that, I also have some very nice bridges for sale).

[6inchheels]

I definitely get the space constraint. Manhattan living isn't exactly spacious. Getting rid of half your clothes would make sense whether they be male or female. Personally, I would recommend keeping your favorite half though just in case you might want them later. I would love to have some of the stuff; it sounds like you are about my size. I don't want to spend the gas money to drive up there though. It would cost me $100 in gas and I try to keep my spending within a predetermined budget. (...boring accountant) Anyway, best of luck to you. Message me if you haven't found a donee after a while though. :)

[Jorja]

Ummm... I think you better check your calendar. The NFL starts tonight. If your a sports fan and dress when losing, the clothing may come in handy real soon.

[Ressie]

Sizes are too small darn it! Or you could move to Nebraska where you'll have 2 or 3 spare bedrooms with walk in closets :) j/k

[SmartDomWoman]

It might be best to take the better safe than sorry route - meaning hold onto your clothes because if you purge them it will cost a lot of money to replace them.

[MelanieAnne]

Can I have your stuff? :D

[Valerie Nova]

As for the expense, it was virtually all thrift-store finds, many of which had the tags still on them. I did pay, on average, a bit more for the shoes and boots. Maybe $20 a pair or so, because you have to get the size exactly right, and the larger wide sizes aren't all that common. But I have them, and am not averse to giving them away.

For anyone asking about my stuff: PM me


Sizes are too small darn it! Or you could move to Nebraska where you'll have 2 or 3 spare bedrooms with walk in closets :) j/k

And forgo living at the center of the universe? (according to New Yorkers, apparently) If I had to pit living somewhere where I don't need to maintain a car against my desire to have a walk-in closet full of dresses, I think being able to read on the subway to work would win out.


Your photo looks nice. Don't you like to look that way? I guess not, for now.

Thanks, but that's a washed out photo of me that's the best of like 300. I don't want to go down that road again though. It was ultimately unsatisfying, although it did motivate me to lose a lot of weight at the time. I'll probably never fit into size 10 dresses again, but I'm okay with that.

[Seana Summer]

I think what your doing makes sense. I have had times (several months) when I just didn't feel like dressing up but I didn't spend much time trying to figure out why. I just stored my cloths I liked and got rid of stuff I didn't really like and didn't wear much. Probably need to do that from time to time anyway, even when you have the privilege of living out on the edge of the Universe and have lots of space to store a double wardrobe.

My opinion from out here on the edge......where I like it!!

BTW your cloths are all way too small for me

[Samantha_Smile]

Unless you have 30 pairs of shoes, 50 dresses, 20 skirts, 50 tops, and 25 pairs of jeans, then step away from the 'half of it' idea.

As soon as you get rid of anything, you will wish you had not.

My motto is to 'Never Purge' even when you think you will never dress again. Because you will.
We all do. Eventually.

And then you will find out that something you love is not replaceable.

[Valerie Nova]

Unless you have 30 pairs of shoes, 50 dresses, 20 skirts, 50 tops, and 25 pairs of jeans, then step away from the 'half of it' idea.

As soon as you get rid of anything, you will wish you had not.

My motto is to 'Never Purge' even when you think you will never dress again. Because you will.
We all do. Eventually.

And then you will find out that something you love is not replaceable.
Realistically, it's about half that, across the board. Except for jeans. I only have 4-5 pair. And more like 15 dresses than 25. Mostly because tops and skirts are so damn cheap at the Salvation Army on Wednesday. So are dresses, for that matter, but they take up more space.

If I go a full year without having any desire to wear any of these clothes, would that be enough? Because it feels like that'll probably happen. Sure, I'll keep most of the stuff that takes up a negligible amount of space, but the total amount is rather large and unwieldy right now.

[Samantha_Smile]

If I go a full year without having any desire to wear any of these clothes, would that be enough? Because it feels like that'll probably happen.

You're asking me? Jeez!
If it's your living arrangements that stop you from dressing, then please don't get rid of your stuff. Because that's an external force that is subject to change.
If it's you that only needs a once yearly dress up, that's different, I would be very careful with the next move you make.
Have you already had a couple of years and only dressed twice in that time? If not, then be even more careful.

We all have lulls, thinking we will never need this again, it can take days, weeks or even months, but the need always seems to return.

Just be careful what you do next :)

[Sandy423]

I don't see a problem with purging, or half-purging, if you can afford it, esp. if you donate the clothes to someone or to a thrift store or charity. I haven't purged yet, except for getting rid of one or two items that didn't fit well, but I get my stuff second hand, so even I can afford to do it, if I want to, even though I'm near the poverty level. You can also give them away on Craigslist or something, if no one from here asks for them. Your photo looks nice. Don't you like to look that way? I guess not, for now.

Yes donate them to a thrift store, keep the cycle going.